Promises We Made
by Sophiasown
Summary: Can true love really be forgotten? Rick and Michonne's marriage and bond is tested when Michonne can't remember Rick's existence in her life after a horrible accident. Will she ever remember who he is? This is an amnesia/memory loss story. Richonne is always life. Much thanks to Rickskatana for this beautiful cover art.
1. Separation Anxiety

**A/N:** I trust that everyone is doing well! I missed you guys! So this is my next project, I've been working on it for the past couple weeks and finally have the courage to post it. I know the amnesia/memory trope has been done but this is my version. If this is not your thing I understand. For those of you who are interested, thank you for sticking with me.

Ok. Let's get to it.

Sophia

* * *

 **Separation Anxiety**

"Yeah, Mags I'm still thinking about it. It should be interesting in the least. Yeah, I know she'll have a total fit. Okay. I will. Goodnight."

Rick caught the tail end of his wife's conversation, momentarily distracted by the sight of her lean form bent over the edge of their bed as she moisturized her already smooth legs. Fresh from the shower, her coconut verdana body wash wafted through the air, intoxicating his already alert body. The cordless phone was tucked between her ear and shoulder, her towel neatly tucked securely into her cleavage; a challenge if he ever saw one.

He heard her sexy voice call his name and he made an attempt to appear alert.

"Who was that?" He failed, he was unable to take his eyes off her glistening body.

"That was your sister. She said hi. We were debating if we're really going to Shane and Andrea's party tomorrow. She said we don't have a choice." Michonne strolled to their walk-in closet in search of a suit to wear to work the following day. Rick sat at the edge of the bed content to watch her as she prepared herself, his wife was nothing but proactive and it was a trait that had saved their family many late mornings.

"Are we?"

He wasn't too keen on celebrating the fact their closest friends were separating. Especially as they were married a few months after Shane and Andrea. Rick was an optimist in spite of the harsh circumstances. He thought time away from each other might do them some good, but he didn't want to enjoy a party because of it.

"I told you I'm meeting with the Mayor tomorrow, right? There's a good chance I'll be late. Your mom still comin' over to watch the kids?"

Deanna Munroe-Linton was not one to shy away from spending time with Carl and Andre, they were the apples of her eye and they both basked in their revered status.

"Yeah. She is. So you're leaving me to endure this alone?" Michonne stepped to him and landed between his legs, the warmth of their close bodies creating a shift in the room. He wore a pair of black shorts and a black t shirt; she marvelled how breathless the sight of him still left her after five years of marriage. Rick's hands tugged at Michonne's towel, she tightened it all the more not wanting to be distracted from her tasks. She didn't mind a little distraction but not entirely, not yet.

"It'll be fine. I'm sure Shane and Andrea will be on their best behavior." Rick laughed even before he could complete his sentence. Michonne joined in with her melodious laugh too. Shane and Andrea were a real soap opera story, they couldn't _behave_ if their life depended on it. "I don't think they'll stay divorced anyways." Rick had remained very candid on the ongoings of their friends, but he did give Shane an ear or two having been in the same position with Lori before. Although the situations were completely different, the sentiment remained that a marriage was about to end. Lives would be irrevocably changed.

Rick knew how much Shane loved his wife, his buddy was hurting something fierce over the loss. The feeling of failure was intense for Shane. Rick tried to show him life wasn't supposed to be a series of successes, knowing fully well everybody failed at something or the other.

It was a good note in theory, in practical they were lamenting on a marriage and not a maths exam.

"You don't believe they're making a mistake do you?" Michonne dangled two hangers in front of him, one with a red pantsuit, the other, a brown skirt suit he'd recently purchased for her. Rick gave his valued opinion via a head nod to the brown suit, he couldn't resist her in skirts.

"I don't think I can make that call " He glided up the bed and stuffed a pillow behind his back. Talking to Michonne after a full day had a calming effect on his mind. She made all the horrible things he had to deal with as the Sheriff fade away. She was his tether when the demands of the job seemed to be pulling him in all different directions.

"They love each other. Deeply Rick. How can being apart help that?"

She was now in and out of their en-suite bathroom, speeding through her nightly routine.

"Maybe they need to be apart to realize that."

"I think being apart is the worst thing for them." She was surprised at how opposite their views were on the topic. Normally they were so in sync.

"Maybe being apart will make that depth rise to the surface?" A statement and a question all wrapped into one and sprinkled with some hope. "This is all Shane's fault. He promised to give her whatever was in his power to give. I'm sure he'd never anticipated her wanting him to sign walking papers. Everybody knows you don't give a girl like Andrea that kind of power." Rick continued.

"What kinda power does it take to sign divorce papers?" Michonne shrugged nonchalantly, thinking the power should've been in their promise to each other and not the pen.

"More power than you think. Even when there's no love it's hard to do." It wasn't really an old feeling, more like a distant memory when it came to his own divorce. He was free finally, but he wasn't unaffected by the breakdown of his brief marriage to Lori.

"Rick I'm sorry." She purposely walked over to him, straddling him on the bed. Her comment came across a bit brash, soothing his heart was her intendment. Clad in only an underwear and a bra his hands easily sought home on Michonne's bare body. She caressed his stubbled cheek. She had no intentions to dig up old, buried wounds with her callous rambling.

"It's fine." He kissed her lips chastely. "I give you whatever you want don't I?"

He did, but even she thought a line should be drawn at some point, "So if I asked you for a divorce, you'd just give it to me?" She was really anxious about his answer, just the thought of them being separated was turning her mood. She couldn't breathe without this man underneath her.

"No." He didn't believe in absolutes, but that one was a given.

"Why not?"

"Because, you and I are…" He waited for her to finish his sentence. A smile played on her lips, she loved it when he did _their_ _thing._

"Meant to be." Like music and lyrics, a lock and a key. They just go together.

"Good, don't you ever forget that." Another kiss to her jawbone delivered, Rick looked determinedly in her spice brown orbs and spoke, "You and I, we don't give up. We're not like them. And there isn't anything that _has_ happened or is going to happen that we -," He gestured between them, "Can't handle. Okay?"

He saw an abstract need for reassurance and he needed to be that for her. Michonne nodded with a smile. Rick's confidence in them, and the love they had for each other overruled the propensity to doubt in the face of any potential disaster.

Rick wanted their love to trust first. Always.

"I love you so much, Rick. I can't lose yo…."

Maybe it was seeing her friend's marriage crumble before her eyes that made Michonne aware how fragile a union could be. Perhaps it was the understanding of the essential acts of trust and communication that went hand in hand in a marriage, and knowing she and Rick _didn't_ have that problem that brought her out of her musings.

"Baby, I love you too. You and the boys are my life. I've got everything I need right here inside these walls. I'm not losing any of it." Even as he said it his hands dipped inside her panties where he found her wet and throbbing for his touch.

"No you're not. I'm not." As the words died on her lips, her core came alive at the feel of his digits slipping snuggly into her canal while his thumb pressed her nub deviously.

Rick no longer wanted to be jealous of the air that touched her lips, so he kissed her like she was his everything. When his lips touched hers, sometimes his knees grew weak. He was grateful they were on their large bed.

It was almost nine o' clock. The boys were in bed. The wine colour drapes that decorated the large slider windows had been pulled, cocooning them in their own world where they could express and explore their ardent need for each other.

Rick's dick pressed at her entrance as he strained almost painfully inside his pants. He lifted her slightly off him, then dragged his pants off. He was no longer able to endure the torture of barriers between them. He needed her more than a candle needed a flame. Her touch consumed him and saved him all at once.

"Tell me what you want, baby?" His question was an intentional delay to their bated reunion, but he needed her to say the words.

"I want your dick inside me, Rick." Her voice was already breathless, he used the opening to push up into her waiting heat.

"Aagghh, baby. You feel amazin'!" Rick crushed his chest to Michonne's breasts, holding her tightly against him. His lips paid homage to her ears, neck and breasts as they pushed against each other.

"Yessss, Rick! Faster!"

Michonne's body was in a heated frenzy, her hands tugging at his soft curls like a drifter at sea. She pulled his head to her, wanting to feast on his eyes as he quenched the thirst in her body. There were times when she forgot how to speak when she looked at Rick. His baby blues had a way of showcasing every drop of love he had for her. It made her breath catch in her throat.

There was no pause as Rick migrated to a faster thrust, his fingers digging into her cushy skin.

Their love making, although intent on passion, had a deeper meaning; they decided they were ready to actively try for a baby. The timing was perfect, they were both settled in their careers and the boys were doing well in school. They wanted a girl, somehow a girl would tie things up nicely in their family.

His hands kneaded her ass, he brought her curvy body willingly down even harder on his dick.

Michonne cried out at the rush of sensation. Rick kissed her hard as his pace increased. The scent of their greedy awakening surrounded them, the sound of their friction triggered a heavier feel of arousal. Michonne felt the orgasm she'd been trying to stave off cantering up to her like a horse on a racetrack destined for the winning spot.

Rick had the ease and skill of a detailed lover. Her honey pot was often being schooled by a champion.

"I can't ,-" she struggled for air and words.

"Then don't!"

He was right behind her, he held his off until she shattered in his arms. When she weakened in his arms he exploded his seed inside her with a low grunt. His body shook with the intrinsic yet volcanic eruption being inside his wife caused. He never grew tired of the experience.

"How is it that every time feels like the first time?" Michonne panted, the vibration in her body, and the beat of her heart echoed each other.

"I don't know. It just is. Just like us." Rick kissed her nose when her eyes closed again. Michonne felt like she was drifting off. Her body was still humming the tune of victory. She crumbled to her side of the bed, her head barely making it to the pillow. By the time her eyes opened he was staring at her sweetly, waiting.

"The usual?" he asked as though this wasn't part of their routine.

"Yes please. Only this time I want my own spoon."

It felt like a sinful indulgence, eating ice cream this late. It was their ritual on a few nights, when insatiable appetites for each other usually led to a sweet tooth in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Tonight was one of those nights.

Rick kissed her cheek getting off the bed, "I'll be back, don't fall asleep. Promise me." They never made a promise to each other they didn't intend on keeping.

"I promise." She followed his bow legged gait. Rick snagged on his boxers and walked around their bed, until he stood in the doorway. "Babe?"

"Michonne." He answered seductively, leaning on the doorarch. He always made time to listen to the things she had to say.

"You think we made a baby tonight?"

She was just starting her ovulation period, so the conditions were right. Hearing it from his voice would increase her hopefulness tenfold. He was a great father to Andre who wasn't his biological child, not that it mattered to either of them, but there was nothing more she wanted to give this man than a child that was a part of both of them. Michonne was praying for a girl with his heart and a perfect mixture of their skin tones. Rick gave her his word it was going to happen soon. She believed him. She wanted that for them.

Rick smiled to himself; the one where he couldn't hide his cocky demeanor because he believed so much in what he was about to say. "I know we did."

"How do you know?" She asked, sitting upright in an effort to keep her vow.

"Because I made you a promise. You and I...we always keep our promises." He was gone in a blink for their almost midnight snack.

Michonne relaxed happily into the fluffy pillow, already envisioning what that promise would look like.

* * *

"All of a sudden you gotta spend all this money to look cultured?" Shane was genuinely confused with the Italian designer dress Andrea _had_ to purchase for their party. Her lavish spending habits was another insurmountable issue to pile onto the mountain of things he couldn't rationalize with her. He was nostalgic for the girl who used to love to parade around their hot, two bedroom apartment in nothing but his V-necks. Now he had been exchanged for a more expensive fit without so much as an ounce of remorse. It all subsequently meant Andrea didn't need him anymore. It was proving to be a bitter pill to swallow.

How could somebody he loved so much also be the source of his contention? It was more evidence to substantiate the compunctive celebrations being held today, and how even in his sadness he still tried to give her the things he could still provide.

"First off. It's couture!" Andrea's defense was pointless, she knew it, but in a battle of wills she had to have her say.

"Honey, just because I don't use all them fancy words, doesn't mean I'm stupid." Hands on his hip, Shane tilted his head and included an eye squint. He was hoping the girl he loved was somewhere underneath all that Armani apparel.

"Did I say you were stupid!? I never-."

"Uuugghh ummmm…" Abraham cleared his voice loudly after being shoved by his fiance to break up the irrelevant argument between the mismatched pair. Shane and Andrea who stood arguing by the flavorful food table turned at the intrusion and gave Abraham their attention, complete with two fake smiles.

"Well, Shane...Andrea, I know you two never had your heads screwed on right like the likes of us, but in the few months I've known you I can surely say this is definitely the weirdest thing I have ever celebrated! But congrats on the divorce anyways!" Abraham's burly voice reverberated through the friend filled living room. His impromptu toast as the host by proxy helped to stave off the potential awkwardness lurking in the room like an uninvited guest. The experience was strange for even the likes of this group who had been through life, death and everything in between with each other over the past few years. The lot of them half-heartedly raised their wine filled glasses in an odd toast to the freshly divorced couple who, ironically, appeared happier than they had been in months.

As far as Michonne was concerned; looks could be deceiving. Her two jaded friends were putting on the act of a century. Behind Shane's brooding eyes lay a sadness left by the one girl he said he'd never give up, _but_ did, because she asked him to. Andrea's cheery disposition hid a nakedness, a fear even. of the acknowledgement she was now severely alone for the first time in a long time.

Andrea went in search of another bottle of alcohol to numb her already porous emotions. It reminded Michonne why she decided to attend the divorce party after all. It was difficult for her girl to express emotions that had been intentionally repressed, so Andrea always went the hardened route, the road less travelled. Her present disposition was contradictory to what she always knew _was the right thing. After_ being a neutral force in the divorce proceeding, and Andrea's lawyer she was able to dissect a bit more where the real issues rested.

Shane was a sweetheart of a guy that viewed his world in lens crafted by him. He didn't see things for how they really were. He saw Andrea for who she was, or rather how she used to be, and loved her for it. Andrea saw that necessitous and immature young woman she was; the one she allowed Shane to fall in love with, realizing she didn't want to be her anymore. She was moving on up in life. Andrea viewed her ability to disassociate from her upbringing as a gift. Her evolution was infringing on the intimacy and friendship that had been so easily crafted between her and Shane all those years ago. Now, all it did was shed a bright light on the disparity between them.

Andrea did what she did best, she absorbed herself in her job and was away quite frequently. Eventually there was nothing really for Shane to love besides shadows and distant memories.

There was no foreseeable way to bridge the gap, the dreamer and the fugitive had called it quits.

It was the worst kind of self sabotage Michonne had ever witnessed. She knew now more than ever her friend needed her.

"You know, if she wasn't gonna drink herself into a stupor I wasn't gonna be here." She was glad Sasha shared her sentiment as she joined her at the table in the brightly-lit dining room. She took a sip of the fruity, yellow tinted, alcohol free drink in her hand, unnecessarily named _Ale-imony,_ then took a bite of the _split_ chicken breasts she had no choice but to eat. Sasha made a note to remind Carol to desist from indulging Andrea in her food shenanigans.

"It's your house." Michonne reminded her newly engaged sister.

"It's Abe's house, when we're married I'll say different."

Sacrificing her fiancé's elaborate, roomy three bedroom farm house as the place to finally bury her friends' marriage was the least she could've done for Andrea and Shane. Andrea's color wheel of emotions were on full display for the world to see during what she called the biggest disappointment of her life. It had been a simple case of fools rush in. Andrea met Shane when he was transferred to King County Police Department five years ago, it was lust at first sight, and a series of bad decisions after that. In two months they were married on a whim at the Justice of the Peace. They broke the news to everyone via a video post on Facebook, which in itself was a bad omen to their impromptu nuptials.

Fast forward five years, they were planning to live happily ever after, separately. Andrea's modelling career had taken off considerably in the past two years, requiring her to fly out of state frequently, causing a strain on her already fragile relationship with her husband who only wanted to spend time with his wife. The more money she made, the more high maintenance she became, and poor Shane couldn't keep up. Andrea's fix for being away so much was to purchase Shane elaborate gifts as an expensive supplement for her presence. She was investing in hardware for a software problem. In the end it was costly for both parties involved.

Her absence was withering Shane's heart away, causing their once heated love to dwindle to a weak flame.

It was hard to start a fire with wet matches.

Eventually they came to a decision they were better apart than they were together. This _divorce party_ was their way of giving their friends the wedding reception they never got the chance to attend, finally thanking them for their support during their tumultuous separation all in one shot.

"Why do you guys look so gloomy?" Andrea asked, even in her tipsy state Michonne could see the dejection behind her azure colored eyes. "We haven't even played pin the tail on the mistress yet!" she said gulping down the last of her Pinot noir.

"That's because Shane didn't have a mistress, Andrea!" Maggie said joining them at the table. In her four months pregnant state she had opted to sip some lemonade in lieu of the wine she longed for.

The newly, unwed blonde shrugged at her closest friends as she dragged a chair out and dropped herself on it. She leaned into them as though she had a secret to divulge.

"Shane didn't have a mistress, but he had something. Everybody cheats with something or the other." Deep down she wished there was a face responsible for their mess of a marriage instead of the black abyss of irreconcilable differences that had been blotted with black ink on their divorce papers like a death sentence. Not even a ruling judge could identify what was wrong with them, even though she knew she had a big part to play in their breakdown.

"He loved you. He still does." Maggie knew they had this conversation a million times. It hurt her hearing how cynical and jaded divorce made Andrea.

"I'm sorry we all can't have perfect marriages like you and Michonne. Listen, were doing this for y'all. You guys don't get to choose here. Shane and I are sharing the lot of you equally. Our lives are too entwined to have a bitter divorce between us. I'd appreciate it if my mains could have my back." The rant was a long time coming, she knew everybody was not pleased with their decision. As far as she was concerned she knew they were blaming her for everything. They didn't say it, but she knew.

Shane promised he'd give her anything she wanted and that included a divorce. Somehow that was her fault too.

"When have we not had your back?" Michonne asked, unable to hold her silence in anymore.

She glanced at her watch and hoped her boys were behaving. Anna was at home keeping an eye on them, she knew they could be a handful. Hopefully Rick would arrive soon. They heard the rich laughter of Shane, Glenn and Abraham greet Daryl and Rosita who had started dating three months ago, out on the front porch. Rosita stepped inside the house leaving the men outside to commiserate with their boy Shane who on all counts was putting on a good facade in front of his friends.

"Did I just see a divorce cake out there?" Rosita asked comically. The olive green, body con dress she wore stood in perfect contrast with her skin. "I mean Darth Vader and Princess Leia on the top tier with the words _May Divorce Be With You?_ That's genius!" Rosita was the coolest chick in the game. She also had the title of being the best beautician this side of King County. She never allowed things to mess with her headspace for too long. She knew her two friends weren't happy. She supported them both in their separation.

"How does it feel chica?" Rosita questioned the ex-missus.

"I do. I did. I'm done." Another raised glass from Andrea. She drank every drop of the red enabler of bad things, and even worse thoughts.

Michonne reached over and dragged the bottle towards her. Somebody needed to take responsibility for Andrea tonight. Iit looked like it had to be her.

"Hey! Chonne this is _my_ Divorce party! What kind of divorce support group are you if you _don't_ drink with me?" It was a stare off between the pair. Michonne won. Good sense prevailed with Andrea, it just almost, always came a day late.

"Did you see her divorce keepsakes? They're candles that smell like 'freshly scented divorce papers' and I'm not kidding." Sasha couldn't believe there were companies making a profit off of people's broken hearts and shattered lives.

"You really went all out for this one Andrea."

"What can I say? I love to over do it."

"With. Every. Thing." Maggie snapped, popping a grape in her mouth.

"Are we still doing girls night this Thursday?" she asked eagerly, turning her gaze to Michonne as though she had full autonomy on decisions.

"I don't know Andie," Sasha said, circling the table where they all sat. "We opted for every other Thursday to do whatever we wanted as a means to get away from the men. Now that um…..you have none... I don't think we can allow you in our club anymore." Her eyes were sinister as Andrea's smug smiled turned serious.

"You really gonna do me dirty like that Sasha? Don't forget I'm a holder of all of y'all's secrets." It was a dirty manipulation even though she knew they were teasing. Their ridiculous roars of laughter filled the air.

"So _Fussy Posse_ we're on, right?" Rosita needed clarification.

"Yeah, we are. It's getting late. This baby is sucking my energy. Where is my brother Chonne?" Maggie asked, as she prepared herself to leave.

"He had a panel meeting with the Mayor to discuss an anti-drug campaign they wanna implement... I guess he ran late." She hadn't heard from Rick in the last hour, she needed to remember to take a to-go plate home in case he didn't make it.

"Is Jessie on that panel too?" Sasha asked curiously. It was no secret the Mayor's newly divorced secretary had a crush on the Sheriff.

Michonne shrugged, she honestly wasn't sure if Jessie would've been there and she didn't care.

"She probably is. She likes to be everywhere with her box-dyed persona." It was also no secret Andrea didn't care for her, at all.

"Tell us how you really feel Andie." Michonne laughed. "I barely say two words to her. Why do you hate her so much?"

"You mean besides the fact she wants your husband? Besides the fact your husband seems oblivious to her school girl crush? She's such a phony, her handbag may say Coach but her attitude says Costco." Rosita pretended she choked on the remnants of Carol's delicious vegetarian quiche she had stuffed in her mouth.

Michonne laughed at the quip too, but she never considered giving Jessie a second thought. She honestly didn't feel threatened by the over friendly woman.

"He wanted to be here, Andie." Andrea barely heard Michonne. She was too caught up in watching Shane saunter over to them. Shane was the tall, handsome brooding type. A born gentleman who was always in protective mode of those he cherished. It was sad to see despite their love for each other, pride and ego brought out a darker version of himself that only Andrea could tame.

He threw his hands over Andrea's shoulder, his gaze resting on the rest of the girls he considered like sisters, "Isn't she the most beautiful ex-wife you've ever seen?" Shane gave her cheek a smooch and she shrugged out of his embrace. Everyone noticed it was a bit delayed.

Michonne stared at the odd couple as they migrated to an argument over the bill for Carol's Catering for their divorce party. They were all numb to the public disagreements and gathered up themselves, ready to leave.

"Andie!" Michonne shouted in order to be heard over their passionate exchange of words.

"What?"

"How are you getting home?"

The plan was to get a lift home with Michonne and Rick, but he was unable to attend tonight. Rick's Sheriff's duties had him being pulled in all directions. A late text from him was discovered only moments ago. He was still stuck at the meeting. He told her he already arranged with Daryl to take her home.

"I'll grab a lift with someone, y'all go on. Thanks for coming." She stalked over to her friend, giving her a courtesy hug. Michonne hugged her tightly in return.

"NutherMother is with the boys. I don't wanna keep her. Call me when you get in."

Despite the uncertainty of leaving Shane and Andrea to their own devices Michonne had her motherly duties to attend to.

… **...**

Michonne's cell phone rang on the table beside their king size bed just as Rick was lapping at her neck, and her hands were finding their way to his boxers.

It was ten p.m, with her being the senior attorney at Beatty and Monroe, work calls all hours of the evening weren't completely unexpected.

"Tell them you're unavailable." Rick said unashamedly, slipping his hand between the thickness of her thighs. She squirmed under his warm touch and reached for the phone. "It's not work, it's Andrea." Inching away from Rick, she lifted off the bed then turned on the lamp, allowing her eyes to adjusted to the brightness of her screen.

She and Rick had just retired after catching up with the boys about their fun evening with their grandmother. They were eager to share their experience playing on their X-Box with Deanna, who apparently was a fast learner. They were making out like teenagers when the phone interrupted their late night guilty pleasure. At the knowledge it was her best friend, Rick didn't approve with the interference, considering they'd hung out at the party a few short hours before.

"I'm sure she's callin' you to bad mouth my buddy Shane. Don't answer." He kissed behind her earlobe, his fingers found her lower lips, he toyed with them a bit. Michonne giggled as the caller ID tune continued. She knew if she didn't answer Andrea would call back until she did.

She connected the line much to Rick's obvious disappointment.

"Andrea, what's up?" The sound on the phone was a bit muffled but she was certain her best friend was crying.

"Can you come take me _drunk,_ I'm _home._ "

She was intoxicated, Michonne blew out a harsh breath. She had high hopes any drama for the evening was smartly dodged.

"Where are you, Andie?" She heard Shane's voice in the background and fit the puzzle pieces together. Andrea left Abraham's house with Shane. Obviously they made a stop at his house, never quite making it to hers.

"I'm in Westerfair."

Michonne heard the click clack of expensive pumps and figured Andrea was outside on Shane's wooden porch.

"Please Mich." She heard the hopelessness, the remorse and even the pain in her tone. Michonne still grimaced, _Mich_ only came out of Andrea's mouth when she was desperate. She got up to drag on some pants even before she agreed. She couldn't leave her best friend stranded.

"Stay there. I'm coming for you. I don't understand why you went there in the first place, but we'll talk when I get there."

Michonne hung up the phone. Rick sat up on the bed, arms folded while he watched her in disbelief as she got dressed.

"Michonne."

She heard the displeased intonation, Rick didn't even try to mask his voice.

"Rick. She's stranded. They're arguing. I'm not gonna leave her there."

"Let her get a damn cab!"

She shot him a frustrated glare. His position didn't budge.

"I can't sleep knowing she's not okay." It sounded like a lame reason to her too, but as her best friend she couldn't abandon her.

"Andrea's an adult. So is Shane! They make their own decisions. You treat her like a child every time you do this." He was pacing while he gave his reasoning.

"Every time? I don't do this every time."

"Doesn't matter. I don't want you goin' out there." Rick knew she always listened to his opinions, he knew she respected him greatly, but he also knew when she had an idea in her head she tended to go her own way.

"Look at me. I'll be back in forty minutes."

Rick pressed his forehead to hers, pulling her tightly to his chest..

"Please be safe. The next time she does something like this I'm gonna have her arrested."

Michonne laughed because he probably meant it.

"The faster you say you love me, the faster I can leave."

"I love you, you know that." He kissed her deeply before he let her go.

"And you and I are what again? I can't remember…," She was teasing him, bringing back some levity to his mood.

"Meant to be. Don't be too long." He would camp out on the couch downstairs until she got back.

He wouldn't sleep until she retuned home.

… **...**

"The silence is deafening," Andrea said in the tensely quiet car. The low sound of Bobby Womack's 'If you think you're lonely now' playing on the radio like a not so subtle reminder of her current status was grating her very last nerve.

"Now you wanna talk? You all sobered up?" Michonne couldn't help the accusatory tone in her voice. She cast an annoyed look at Andrea who had slunked all the way into the front seat of her Volvo.

"How was I to know the night would end up like this?" In her defense she had no plans to end up at Shane's house.

"Divorce people don't normally sleep with each other, Andie!" Michonne said, manoeuvring the car down the dark roads of Westerfair. The drive to Andrea's house was twenty five minutes long, she hoped the time flew by quickly. Having to leave the warmth of her home and the warmth of her husband's arms to retrieve an inebriated Andrea from her now ex-husband's house was something she could have done without tonight.

"We may not be married anymore, but the passion is still there."

"Then why - you know what," Michonne shrugged. "I'm not doing this with you tonight." Andrea knew Michonne had her back no matter what. They had been through a lot together over the eight years they knew each other. Michonne knew she was hurting, compounded by the fact she was too afraid to say so, but her behavior over the past couple of weeks had been complexed and inexcusable.

"You can say it, Chonne. I've disappointed you. I couldn't even have the perfect marriage like you and Rick. I suck at relationships. You win. "

It wasn't a proud admission but it was something Andrea knew she had to own.

"That's the thing Andrea. It isn't a competition. Nobody's keeping score here."

"Shane thinks I complete him. Said that he wants to be perfect like you guys."

"You think I believe my marriage is perfect?" Michonne's words came out in a scoff.

"Maybe." Andrea shrugged, uncertain of how to bring her point across. She stared at the highway with its densely populated street lights and felt like she was staring at the unlit path of her own life.

"I'm not with Rick because he completes me. I'm with him because he compliments me. There's a big difference."

"I think you and Rick are in your own world sometimes. And it's a false sense of security feeling so protected from outside influences. We don't have control over those things. Nothing seems to get in between y'all." Andrea looked outside her window, feeling just as dark as the night around them. "Maybe I'm just jealous of how untouchable you guys are. You two don't even argue." Her tipsy slur remained tenacious, reminding Michonne that mysery loved company.

"You're right. We don't argue. We discuss things. Arguing leads to more arguing about who's right. Discussions help us see _what's right._ We work at it. It doesn't come out of thin air. Marriages are to be fed Andie, they don't become great with a magic wand. My marriage takes precedence over everything else in my life. It's my priority. Your marriage is probably third on your list. With you coming in first and your career a close second." She breathed a heavy sigh. "That's all on you."

Maybe it was the alcohol that had Andrea speaking so freely, it invited Michonne to share things unfettered too.

"Thanks for that slap in the face." The tears were rolling again, the feelings of inadequacy creeping over her skin.

"You two seemed to be in love at one point. What changed?"

"People change, Michonne."

"Do they? Change that is? Or do they forget they love each other?"

Andrea gave no response, she didn't know the answer to the question.

"Sometimes it's easier to forget. Sometimes we forget not because it doesn't matter, but because it matters too much."

Michonne was digging for the truth, even if it contradicted what Andrea convinced herself to believe in order to face her own twisted reality.

"He said I've turned into a hoity, toity bitch. A selfish shell of the girl he fell in love with." Andrea's face felt wet, she didn't realize a tear had slipped passed her ducts. "I hear what you're saying, but Shane and I aren't those people anymore… and... I couldn't take it okay..." There was a look in Shane's eyes when he locked her in his gaze. Andrea knew that although he _looked_ at her, there was so much he didn't see.

"Take what?"

"Take the hurt and pain on his face, knowing I caused it. I couldn't live with the need in those pensive brown eyes of his everytime I packed my suitcase. I know one day he'd ask me to choose." It was her big, dark secret out in the open.

"So you asked him to give you a divorce instead? Knowing he would. He was just collateral damage in all of this?" It made everything seem more cruel.

"Michonne, you picked me up from Shane's. We had sex. Then we argued and I left. Can't you see I'm the collateral damage?"

"Do you honestly think it was the right thing to do? Was it easy to make that decision?" Michonne wanted to know what that thought process involved, how much of Andrea had it ripped away?

"He said I deserve to be alone." Her hands flopped onto her lap. "I am alone."

"The single life might be good for you. I've been there. You get to use that time to find out who you are ,or who you're not."

"Being single is hard enough. It's being single _again_ that worries me."

Michonne felt sad for her friend, but otherwise incredibly motivated to be even more protective of her relationship with Rick. Andrea's truth serum had her pensive, was she jaded into thinking she and Rick were equipped to handle anything?

She certainly didn't want to end up like Andrea or Shane. If a tragedy struck would they remember how much they loved each other? How much the good memories they made with their family out weighed any bad that could ever come their way?

She and Rick had both been through complicated loves in the past, it's what made their relationship so different. There was brutal honesty between them. A soulful connection, deepened by their familiar circumstances. She didn't take that for granted.

Michonne came to a halt at the last traffic light in Brash. They were a block away from Andrea's street. They had arrived at the more rural part of King County in good time. It was early enough they could both still get a good night's rest.

"Sometimes the hardest thing, and the right thing are one and the same." The bare truth was settling around them uncomfortably. They both began to muse on it.

The silence ticked by like a clock with a dying battery.

"Well for your sake I hope nothing ever changes between you two." She wanted to be understood, but above all she couldn't afford to lose anymore people. Andrea reached out and touched Michonne's hand. "Thanks for coming to get me. I appreciate it."

Michonne gave her best friend a smile, stealing a sideways glance.

"Andrea I'll always-." Michonne didn't have time to complete her sentence. There was only time to react. She made a vain attempt to swerve the stationary vehicle as the delivery truck opposite them broke the light and beelined straight towards their car.

"Michonne!" The fear in Andrea's voice as she shouted her name and reached for her hand was the last thing she remembered before her body slammed into the steering wheel.

It was a head on collision. Andrea's air bag deployed in a huff before Michonne's, knocking her out completely after the harsh sound of bone breaking penetrated the cabin. Michonne's head slammed forcefully into the dashboard before the seatbelt could snapback her elastic body.

Steam rose from both vehicles as they smashed. The windows shattered on contact, the front of the metal vehicle looked like crumpled paper. The two friends were bleeding and unconscious at the intersection. The driver of the other vehicle remained pinned behind the wheel of his car.

Two vehicles stopped at the scene and frantically dialed the police while getting as close to the injured as possible, praying for signs of life. The smell of burnt tyres grew thick around them.

It was a spine chilling sight, the kind of scene viewed on the news, not one you witnessed with your own eyes.

Lives would be forever changed by the fragility of life. The first witnessed screamed desperately into her phone as though her urgent voice would help materialize the ambulance. "Please! Hurry! I think...I think one of them is dead!"


	2. Don't Forget To Remember Me

**A/N: Thank you guys for allowing me to read your thoughts on this story. I appreciate all the follows. This chapter was a tough one. For future reference flashbacks will be indicated by italics.**

 **Thanks for sticking with me.**

 **Sophia**

* * *

 **Don't Forget To Remember Me**

"Rick you should go home. Get a change of clothes. Dad just left, he said he'll be back soon." It was another fervent attempt; the fifth one for the day, to remove her brother from his vigil at Michonne's bedside. Maggie, like the rest of their friends and family had stayed, mostly in shifts at the hospital in full hope and support of Michonne and Andrea's conditions. While Andrea looked like she was coming out of the woods there had been no change in the two days since Michonne had been administered in a rush to Brash General Hospital. Two days since their world had been sent into a dizzying spiral of the uncertainty left behind by the dreadful accident that claimed the life of the drunk truck driver and left Andrea and Michonne unconscious for the past day and a half. Andrea had been intently coma induced due to the extent of her injuries; slight swelling to her brain, a broken arm, broken collarbone, too many cuts and bruises on her beautiful face to count.

Michonne was in a more severe condition, she remained unconscious at the scene, suffering a ghastly blow to her head as it pummeled against the dashboard right before the metallic cabin crumpled, changing so many lives in a domino effect. She was officially given coma status as at yesterday morning, with no timestamp to when or _if_ she would wake up. The one plus was the simple yet amazing feat that she was breathing on her own, Her doctors remained positive her brain had slipped into protective mode from the injuries sustained, implying but not directly saying her brain would heal in due time and she would awaken, return to her normal life; the accident a distant memory. Rick didn't want false hope but it had been a struggle seeing the lifeless state she was in.

"I'm fine!" His voice was like sandpaper having remained silent for the most part of 36 hours, so his answer came out more coarse than he intended. He was unable to tear his eyes away from his wife's pale face. Truthfully he was the opposite of fine. He was experiencing abject agony which lead to his discomposure, trepidation seeping into his pores every now and then.

The only person who could fix him lay stationary before him on the hospital bed with her eyes closed shut.

Maggie made another attempt at breaking his anarchy, Rick's eyes were red rimmed, dazed even having not slept since Saturday night. He was wearing the same clothes he had rushed to the hospital in; a dark denim jeans and a blue shirt that he rolled all the way up to his elbows.

"This isn't what she would want."

"I'm what she would want!" He realized how sharp his tone was to his sister and he reached for her hand before any dejection could land on her worried face. She was hurting too.

"She's gonna wake up soon and I don't wanna miss it." He remained optimistic that she _would_ wake up despite his intermittent trips into a dark world that didn't experience her existence anymore.

Maggie didn't know it but her concerned voice was able to pull him back from the evil, torturous recesses of his mind where he was contemplating what it could possibly mean living without her. It had only been a day and a half and he was already feeling like he was walking in shoes without a sole. He was making feigned attempts to play a guitar without strings. He felt like an orchestra without a symphony. If he took his eyes off her for even one minute he knew he would lose it completely. Together they ran a tight team. She made their lives richer, ensuring they fired on all cylinders. He may be the quarterback of their tightly woven unit but she was the coach that kept them all running, motivated and sane.

"She is, but you know your wife...she isn't going to approve of you being in the same clothes for days." She got his attention as he directed his distant gaze to her, she knew the Michonne induced requirement would coax her brother into willing submission.

"You're right." He rubbed the nape of his neck, another attempt to soothe away his tiredness. Maybe a shower might make him feel better, at least give him a temporary reprieve from the nightmare he had been living in since 10:47 pm Saturday night. "I'll go home, maybe get her some fresh clothes. I'll check on the boys." Deanna was able to lure the boys to her house for an impromptu sleepover which they were all on board for. They knew something was wrong with their mother, they just didn't know _what._ Rick figured it was time he gave them a small spec of information not wanting to sadden them too much.

Carl, Andre and Michonne were three peas in a pod and he knew they were feeling the brunt of her absence. He wanted to protect his kids from the pain he was experiencing but he couldn't hide the truth from them much longer. He rose from the plastic chair that had been brought in the room by Dr. King; Rick made it clear to everyone he had no intention on leaving his wife.

Maggie felt relieved, as scared and concerned as she was for Michonne she was worried about the anguish Rick wore on his face like a second skin.

"This isn't it Maggie." He looked at Michonne on the bed and he observed in his peripheral Maggie swiping her tear stained cheeks again. "There's more, there's gotta be more." It was supposed to be a regular weekend of running errands, taking the kids to their various activities and enjoying unencumbered quality time together. On Sundays he made them pancakes which was a treat in itself. Michonne would always ask for seconds and it thrilled him that he was the owner of her pancake satisfied smile. He had five amazing years being her husband but their journey had only just begun. He wanted his whole life to unravel with her at his side, and still that time wouldn't be enough.

He looked away from her as his face turned red, the memory of their moments of bliss burning his retinas.

He felt Maggie's small hand brush his arm and he faced her, "There's more Rick. This isn't the end."

It was no secret the love between the pair was potent in its elixir, had been from the start. She wanted to believe it was also not easily broken. She saw the toll the uncertainty of it all was taking on Rick. If he needed her voice of faith she would give it to him, she didn't want him alone in his pain.

He tried to hide it from her but she saw the guilt he masked too, he prided himself on being the Sheriff of King County where protecting people was his job but he couldn't protect his own wife and Maggie knew he may never forgive himself for it.

She knew Michonne would come back to Rick. For Rick's sake, she had to.

"If she wakes up while I'm gone, could you tell her I'll be back soon. I don't want her to think I abandoned her." Maggie touched his arm in a persistent effort to placate him. "She won't think that. Go see your boys and get back here. You're the first face she'd wanna see." The sentiment behind her words brought a smile to his face, he kissed her cheek then kissed the top of Michonne's head as though she was delicate as a brittle rose. _I love you_ was all he whispered before he left.

… **..**

Their large home was eerily quiet, Rick couldn't recall one day since they became husband and wife the house had been so calm. There was always something going on; a game on TV, the boys running through the house, the girls holding a _fussy posse_ meeting. He didn't mind, it all added to the homey feel of the two story suburban home that belonged to them. He didn't think his life would've been this fulfilling a few years ago but everything changed the day he saw her.

Rick met Michonne through Maggie when she was already four months pregnant with Andre. Her boyfriend Mike had passed away before he knew he was going to be a father. Michonne and Mike had broken up months before reaching a plateauing stage in their relationship with nowhere to go. Mike was studying to be a pilot and almost was never around. She didn't have to give him an ultimatum, he chose the thing he loved most and chased after it with a passion she wished she had gotten a taste of. Mike had been her first and she loved him with everything she possessed but in the end it wasn't sufficient. It was the thing he loved so much that killed him; a rented Cessna for a flying expedition with a friend had taken his life. Michonne was grateful in his passing he left her with a precious gift. Still in her last year of College she was determined to finish her law degree and make a life for herself and her son.

At the time of their encounter Maggie invited Rick and five year old Carl out to Atlanta for a reprieve from the every day reminder of Lori's untimely death in the busy town called King County. Rick finally took her up on the offer and their seemingly fated meet was indelible. She formed a bond with Carl months before as Maggie often had her only nephew loaded up on Skype, so when the two finally met in person the link crafted over an internet connection was reinforced and sharpened with a strong friendship between the comic lovers. Michonne took tour guide status and showed them all the major sites of the grand city and Rick fell deeper for the beautiful woman that somehow made his sadness dissipate. He could see why Maggie couldn't stop talking about her. She reminded him how to smile when he thought he'd forgotten how to.

Two months later they were deeply in love but the fact remained Michonne like Maggie, left King County to obtain another degree with a certainty she wasn't going back home. Being with Rick changed her plans, which was a big thing for Michonne because she lived by knowing her next move. After she graduated with her second degree, she found herself back in King County, reunited with her friends and family and planning a life with him.

By the time they were married Andre had been born. The move to the large but comfortable house Rick purchased for them involved merging four lives into one. With a newborn baby, an almost six year old and his newly appointed job as Sheriff, there were no quiet moments in the Grimes' household but he wouldn't trade that time of gelling for anything in the world.

He loved his family and he loved his wife.

He sat at the dining table where they enjoyed hundreds of noisy dinners together and fished her cell phone out of his pocket. It had been the one thing that had been salvaged from the wreck which Rick found strange as both cars had been totalled in the collision. He entered her passcode; their wedding anniversary and a picture of all four of them smiling like their life depended on it graced her home screen. His heart dipped in remembrance of the fun July 4th holiday they spent together. He went directly to her messages and pulled up their last text conversation. He remembered discussing signing Dre up for basketball and he saw another reminder to have the lights on the front porch checked, which he was yet to handle. His thumb was eager as he scrolled, needing to see their names together in the Times New Roman font she was so fond of. It was necessary to witness in some universe they still existed together.

There was a random message saying I love you and he remembered the day she sent it and how her affirmation of her feelings for him, changed the course of his day. He previewed his message about being late to the party and how he arranged with Daryl to take her home.

Guilt set in deeper in his belly. Had he been able to make the party the string of events that took place afterwards would be altered and his wife wouldn't be in a bleak room hooked up to monster machines. His hand found his nose bridge and he pinched it, closing his eyes he tried to take a deep breath. It was getting harder to breathe. His lungs felt full of pressure but empty of the air required to function.

How was he supposed to be alright while she suffered?

 _It should've been me._

Before he could continue to scroll, the blinking light of the answering machine resting on the marble top counter caught his attention. Someone may have called to inquire about her status while he was out. He approached the black device and his heart skipped a beat or two upon detection the voicemail was from Michonne, it was dated a half hour before the accident. He couldn't recall the phone ringing when she'd been out that night. He surmised while the message was in a delayed transit, he was already on his way to the hospital.

His hand shook with a type of sorrowful excitement he never felt before. He didn't realize how much he needed to hear the sound of her voice. He picked up the phone and placed it to his ear, it was an intentional delusion; to pretend she was on the other end of the line, breathing and talking to him. He felt his control slipping. He was going to do everything in his power to grip onto his sanity, their boys needed him. He set the phone down on the receiver, pressed play and returned to the six piece dining table set, resting his head on the wooden frame while he prepared himself to be soothed by her calming voice.

 _Hey babe, I'm outside the house waiting on Andie. I know you're probably on the couch waiting up for me which probably means you're using my Netflix. Again. Don't you dare watch another episode of Blacklist without me Rick, I mean it! And If the boys wake up please no sugar! ….You know I was thinking about what you said tonight, you're right Rick. You've always been right about us even from the start. We're not like them. We can handle anything because we always do it together. I love you so much Rick. Don't fall asleep. We have some more baby making to do. Ok Andie's coming. You know I'm gonna give her piece of my mind right? See you in a bit._

He didn't know when the tears that welled from deep inside began to course down his cheeks but her cheery voice broke him and for the first time since he let her leave the safety of his arms and he saw her almost lifeless body on the bed, he acknowledged how desolate he felt.

… **.**

"Dadeee!" Andre leapt into his waiting arms before he could reach inside the house, eager to see his father. Rick scooped him up, breathing in his little boy scent, "Hey buddy. You being good for Grandma?" He approached the kitchen where Deanna and Carl stood hovering over two bowls with what he assumed were cookie dough. Carl ran up to him and gave him a waist hug. With the boys close to him he felt a measure of peace, being with them always had that effect on him.

"Where's mom? Grandma said she had a bad headache. Is she better now? Can we go see her?" Carl was the first one, as expected to fire all these questions to him in anticipation of a favored response.

Deanna turned to the sink and stared out the slider window, the sunlight was streaming in, dancing on her face. Rick saw the strain there and he knew how difficult it must be for her to be normal for the boys when inside she was just as scared for Michonne as everybody else. She loved her daughter dearly.

Sasha, Michonne and Deanna didn't start off on solid footing. When their mother died Michonne was only thirteen to Sasha's ten and a year later their father married Deanna. Despite their instant disapproval the two young girls needed a mother and Deanna won them both over with her charm and no nonsense personality. Eventually she earned the nickname _NutherMother_ but names don't matter when you understand the role someone holds in your life. Now she was a devoted grandmother and she couldn't be more proud.

He was battling with himself on how much to say as he sat Andre on his lap and Carl took the chair opposite him. "Mummy was in a car accident and she hurt her head. So she's getting some rest at the hospital so she could feel stronger before she comes home ok." It was the best he could do, uncertain of the rules for this type of thing.

"So when she's strong enough you'll bring her back to us?" Carl asked as Andre snuggled deeper into Rick's embrace.

"That's the plan." He stared into eyes that mirrored his, Carl was a smart kid, he wasn't fooled easily.

"Is she going to die?" he finally asked as his words tumbled out in a grumble. Rick pointed at Andre and shook his head. "Nobody is dying." He was playing God for the sake of his children. "Mommy is gonna be fine. I need you to look out for your brother while you're at Grandma's. I'll come check up on you again. I brought you guys some more clothes." Carl nodded, still not convinced everything was as okay as his dad was telling him. "Now go upstairs and go over those equations. You've got exams this week. Dre go help him."

He watched them try to out race each other on the fancy staircase, out of his sight line he yanked a hand through his hair.

Deanna placed a glass with a small amount of whisky in front of him and sat down.

"I knew when you didn't call there was no change."

The golden liquid slipped down his throat, the burning sensation allowing him to feel something other than grief. "She'll pull through." Was all he muttered staring at the now empty glass.

"Rick." She touched his arm softly, "She will. Michonne has a lot of will and determination." She'd witnessed personally time and time again the hurdles she'd crossed to achieve the life she had today. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." He didn't want to sound phony or dishonest but he didn't want to get into how he was feeling right now. He knew his mother in law meant well but he'd been wearing a mask since everything happened and it was easier to keep it on than put his feelings out there.

"You can sleep here if you can't sleep at the house. We'll take turns with her and call you when she wakes up."

"I can't leave her Deanna." He knew if the situation was reversed she would do the same for him. He was tired but it was the kind of tired that sleep couldn't fix.

"I just miss her you know…" The words dropped off, it made no sense in lamenting. "Look...I uh..I appreciate all your help with the boys. Dad said he may take them tomorrow if need be. I'll keep you posted." He walked in a haste to the large front door and knew she was on his heels. Deanna had a way of making you see things you never noticed but he didn't have time to be prodded.

"Rick." Her short stature always held command and he could see why she used to be in politics.

He turned slowly towards her after opening the door. The sun was dazzling in its brightness, in perfect competition with the darkness he felt inside.

"Maybe it isn't supposed to be easy for you two. Maybe you're both the rare kind that can handle tough times and come out stronger for it. Everything happens for a reason. Don't let this beat you. Don't let it tear you down. She needs you strong. Allow this to make you stronger. For her. For yourself. For your boys. She's gonna need that strength from you when she wakes up. And she's gonna wake up. But where you find that strength isn't up to fate. It's up to you."

Her words ebbed and flowed into his soul, he nodded slightly and left.

… **.**

"Is she….is she dead?" Andrea choked out the question as her voice remained grainy from misuse. Shane approached her bed, a soft smile whispering on his face, he had bolted from the chair he occupied when he noticed her eyes were opened.

"Hey. Thank God. You've were pretty banged up. How are you feeling?" His hands itched to sooth her forehead, to feel her breathing body under his touch but he laced his hands together instead, uncertain of her reaction.

"I feel like a truck ran over me." Andrea felt every word of the cliche statement. Her left arm was in a cast. Her shoulder was heavily bandaged and she had a headache the size of Guatemala. Her concern however remained for Michonne, remembering the horrors of the night of the accident and how the paramedics had broken every speeding regulation to get them to urgently required medical attention.

 _How long had she been out for?_

If Michonne died and she was the one to escape death, it would prove how unfair the world was. What if death tricked her instead? Allowing her to live in her own private hell by facing every day without the one person who never failed her; knowing she was the one to be blamed for her friend's death. A fire burned in her belly at the thought.

She looked at Shane for an answer she wasn't sure she wanted to hear, worry was etched on every crevice of his face and it gave her more caution than calm.

"She's umm.. she's not awake yet. She's in a coma."

Andrea yanked the tube from her nose with her uninjured hand and struggled to get off the tall hospital bed.

"Now come on now Andrea…" he tried to stabilize her on the bed, she jerked her shoulder in a vague attempt to avoid his hold. She cried out in pain, she didn't realize her collarbone had been so severely damaged.

She collapsed on the pillow panting, trying to catch her breath. "This is all my fault Shane. All because of our stupid fight. I have to see her." White flashing images of the accident played on her mind, she recalled the memory vividly; she heard Michonne asking her twice if she was okay until she couldn't hear her voice anymore. Then the darkness needed her company too and consumed her whole. Andrea couldn't stop the tears that poured out.

Shane ached to touch her, his fingers trembled wanting desperately to mitigate her grief.

She looked scared on the bed, the white gown shrinking her size creating an almost childlike appearance. Relief at her conscious state combated with sadness at their distance physically and emotionally. He was damn well certain fate had given them a second chance but he would allow Andrea to walk her own Damascus road, to her own truths.

"Michonne's gonna pull through, you girls are tough." He believed in what he was spitting out but he wasn't sure how either of them would take the news of the truck driver's death.

"It's not fair. I'm the one who should be in her place. I can't lose her too…... Why are you here Shane? Can't you see the bad in me?" She took her hand and dried her tears untidily. She never understood why it was easier for her to be angry instead of amiable. She knew why he came but there was one thing she knew she did not deserve; his kindness. The last thing she wanted to be on him was a burden.

"We're not married anymore. You have no obligation to-"

He was troubled by how quickly she could go from loving to self-loathing. He cut her off with an exasperated raise of his hand, "I'm here because I love you. I'm here because when I heard about the accident…..well my world crashed too. I'm here because you need someone to take care of you. You have a broken arm, your collarbone is messed up. And yeah you've been a pain in the ass. And you've given me the worse case of heartache I've ever felt but I'm the only man for the job….. so sit still. I'm gonna check on Michonne and get your Doctor." His words were a bit harsh but to the point, which made her feel more guilty for her recent actions but all she could think about was her best friend.

She wondered if Rick and the boys were okay. Michonne had every reason to live unlike her, she wasn't sure she had anything to keep her anchored, even after hearing all that Shane said. After the horrors she caused Michonne she knew she wasn't eligible for happiness, especially with Shane Walsh. It wasn't her fault he loved her via flashbacks of all the good times they had.

She was beginning to feel exhausted, her body was lancing intensely, dragging her to different peaks of pain. She opted to be quiet, while Shane fussed all around her, she battled with negative thoughts pulling her in the wrong direction.

"You need anything before I go?" He had poured her a glass of water, tucked the blanket around her and drew the blinds to direct some light into her room.

She looked at him blankly and asked a question that had plagued her since her eyes opened to face her gloomy life.

"Shane….why didn't I die?" He didn't know how to respond but he realized somehow she was more broken than he ever thought possible.

* * *

He pulled the chair closer to her bed and laced their hands together. The connection was needed, he wished he could hear her voice again. The smoothness of her tone always centred him. He persuaded himself to allow her to hear his voice instead. Perhaps if he emptied his heavy heart to her he might feel a little lighter and become a bit stronger. For her, he would try.

He kissed her long fingers and began…...

"The boys miss you. I miss you. I miss you so damn much Michonne. But I'm trying to be strong because that's what you would want from me. Baby I'm so sorry. I should've gone instead. I should have never let you leave the house. It should be me in this bed, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat Michonne. Because somehow this world is brighter and better with you in it. I know you can hear me. I know you're in there somewhere and that's why you have to find a way to beat this. You can do this. I know you can. You don't let anything stop you. It's why that first day we met you had me so hooked. I was amazed by your strength, your fortitude. Fight this baby, for Andre, for Carl, for _us."_

A tear escaped his sorrowful eyes as his head sanked down into the bed. "Come back to me Michonne, I refuse to let you go. Besides...you owe me a fight. From last week when I got home late for dinner and I didn't call in advance to warn you about the pet hamster I bought for the boys…...and then he escaped."

He let out something resembling a laugh recalling the excitement of the night in question and how pissed she was at him for the unexpected present that somehow found its way in their bedroom.

"You said we'd save that fight. And I know you meant it so you owe me! You hear me?" There was only the sound of the heart monitor and a few other machines he didn't know the names of that provided the musical backdrop to his monologue with its constant beats.

He barely heard the medical terms used by the Doctor when they were explaining her condition. It was stupid not to listen at the time or be a little observant but he genuinely didn't believe she would be here for so long.

It's what the brain does in unspeakable tragedies, his was refusing to process the horrors of it all and instead latched onto the safety of believing she would be home sooner rather than later. It was a sketchy flashback as he recalled a few things said when he was still in a haze from the news of her accident.

 _Completely unresponsive. Possible brain damage. Broken Ribs. Dislocated Shoulder. Neurology Unit. CT Scans._

He needed a medical encyclopedia to understand all of it, but he got the jist. The woman he loved could die at the hands of a drunk driver who didn't have the gaul to stay alive and face his wrath.

The plastic hose in her mouth and the device stuck to her head, measuring something called intracranial pressure did not take away from her beauty. She was a bit banged up but the plastic sacks filled with liquids, slowly dripping some measure of life into her arms made him feel hopeful even though a stranger looking at her condition could easily be without hope.

This was his wife, his best friend and she was a fighter, besides there wasn't a way he could live without her. The treacherous thought made him feel sad and guilty. He didn't experience this level of despair when Lori died. A skiing accident had taken her life six months after their divorce. She died in the manner she lived, quick, fast and reckless. Not giving much thought to those she left in her wake. It hurt him though and he mourned the girl he loved when he was eighteen years old but Lori had been dead to him even before she physically passed from this world.

The dark skin beauty that happily took his last name was his life saver. An angel appearing in a timely moment when he thought loneliness would be a faithful friend. He touched her lukewarm hand in an effort to assuage his racing thoughts, "I can't do this without you Michonne. What do we always say to each other? You and I... we're meant to be. You're the most important person in my life. I love you. Please stay." He sniffled and lifted his head, watching her chest rise and fall with each hopeful breath she took of her own volition. He felt encouraged she was hearing him loud and clear and she was fighting her way back to the light. Back to him.

"When you come back to me, however you come back to me...I'll be right here waiting for you. I promise."

* * *

She was embedded in a deep fog and she was trying her damndest to wrestle free of its hold on her. She knew she had to open her eyes, she had slept enough. Someone was calling her out of the mist but she struggled to place the deep voice that spoke her name with such urgency. She knew her equilibrium was off but the longer she slept the worse it might get.

She decided it was time to stumble out of the disjointed smog she had been dwelling in.

The first thing that ambushed her was the light in the room, she had to shield her eyes from the onslaught. Her vision was dim at the edges, it took a few steady blinks for her eyes to acclimatized to the brightness. She sat up slowly on the bed, trying to move but her depth perception was off as well. The room was cold and it highlighted the pain that radiated throughout her entire body. Her head had a constant throbbing so severe even in her sleep she felt it. Something happened to her she just didn't recall what it was.

It didn't take long for her to deduce she was in the hospital.

 _Was she in an accident?_

 _Where was her son? Her husband? Why weren't they here?_

Maggie entered the cream door quietly, a cup of water in her hand and a tall, commanding dreadlocked Doctor stepped in behind her. She and Maggie had remained close friends after College but she wondered how she knew where to find her. Hopefully Maggie could give her more information on her family.

"Michonne." The Doctor's strong voice boomed in the room and startled her slightly, but this man could give her more information than she had presently. "How are you feeling?"

Maggie's hand remained over her mouth as though she was in disbelief Michonne was real.

"My head hurts. What happened to me?" She asked her friend, her body was screaming in pain. She was feeling more disoriented than she was when she first woke up.

"You don't remember?" Maggie's brow furrowed, her tone bewildered.

Michonne shook her head slowly.

"Michonne, it's ok. You were in a horrible car accident. Suffered some serious injuries. You were in a coma for a few days. Details will be sketchy. Try not to stress."

 _Accident? Serious injuries? Coma?_ Everything sounded foreign to her.

"Where's my husband?" She was beginning to feel afraid.

Another man entered the room but stood by the door in silent surveillance, his face brightened like the midday sun when his bluer than blue eyes rested on her.

"I'm here babe."

Before Maggie could grab his attention the man strided to her bed, he touched her blanketed foot and said, "I'm right here." Rick was too overcome with joy to question why she was asking for him when he was within her line of vision. There was a perplexity to her face when he touched her that left him concerned.

Michonne's eyes darted all over the now shrinking room before they fell on _him_ again. There was a gutted silence among the four of them as Rick stood in front her bed like a statue, his grip on the bed rail turning his knuckles white.

Her dancing eyes, her inability to meet his gaze had him fearing the worst.

"You don't know who I am?" Rick's voice was a whisper and the dismay he tried to hide echoed in the room.

"You're not a Doctor?" She asked cautiously. She just wanted to know where her family was.

Rick hung his head, his hand roughly parting through his disarrayed curls. His wife was looking at him like he was a stranger.

"Michonne, Rick is your husband. You don't remember him at all?" Dr. King asked as he scanned her chart in detail.

"I don't know who _he_ is. Mike is my husband and I would like to know where he is please." Her eyes filled with tears as she fought the heavy stream of mass addling. Her recall was muddled.

"Oh God!" Maggie exclaimed as her eyes filled with sad tears too.

The doctor turned to Rick and Maggie as he briefly but quietly explained Michonne may have damages to her hippocampus which may lead to short or long term amnesia. They would need to run more tests.

"I don't know where my baby is."

Her words were desperate and Rick felt as though his heart stopped beating as the foreign words dropped from her lips. She thought she was married to Mike when they weren't ever engaged. She had no recollection of who he was. Everything would need to be explained.

 _I don't know who he is._

He felt crushed. He ran shaky fingers over his face. He was happy she was awake but a deeper feeling welled inside, competing with his gratitude; sadness, disappointment.

He thought things couldn't get any worse but what's worse than Michonne forgetting the life they built together?

His wife was awake but her visceral reaction to his close proximity implied she had no memory of who _he was_ and now he would have the bitter task of destroying her world again when he informed her the _husband_ she was asking for was dead.


	3. For Better Or Worse

"Mr. Grimes, you have to understand despite the lack of hard evidence the brain sometimes plays tricks on us. We conducted fresh scans, there aren't any lacerations on the brain but there is slight swelling which can lead to some impairment." It wasn't so much what Rick was hearing that was making his blood boil, it was in the succinct manner it was being delivered that made him more agitated by the second.

Maggie threw a cautionary arm over him, the tenseness in his shoulders threatening to tear his shirt in two.

"Dr. King, with all due respect my wife doesn't have a headache, she can't remember who I am. Her husband! She thinks she's married to someone else!" This couldn't be happening, he felt like he was starring in an episode of The Twilight Zone.

"She remembered me, that has to mean something right?" Maggie was confused by it all but still hopeful that her friend hadn't forgotten everything.

"You were there for the exam this morning. She knows her name, she knows how to make a phone call, she can tie her shoes. Those are her implicit memories, they were untouched. Her episodic memories are what's sketchy, which leads me to believe it's a special case of retrograde amnesia. She's unable to recall things from before the accident or the accident itself. In head trauma scenarios, the brain is unpredictable like that."

"Will she remember eventually?" It was the one thing he needed to know.

"She may or may not, I've seen a few cases where the patient did regain their memory. I just can't tell you when and I don't want to get your hopes up. This isn't like a broken bone. Her memory might come back in bits and pieces and in no particular order. The lack of recall will make her confused, she may have mood swings….."

"So what do we do? How can we help her?"

"The best thing for her is to be in her regular environment _but_ you can't force her memory back. She's gonna need patience and lots of it. I'm going to recommend a specialists who oversees cases like your wife. I'm very sorry." He scribbled a name and a number on a piece of paper and handed it to Rick.

"He's gonna help. I'll also put it on her history sheet for when she returns. Michonne also has two badly bruised ribs and a busted shoulder, she has to take it easy. We've done all we can for her. I suggest you take your wife home and see that she gets the care she needs." The Doctor left Maggie and Rick in the hallway outside her room to see his next patient.

Rick walked over to the wooden bench opposite the nurse's station and dropped his large frame on the hardened seat, his hands in his head. A throbbing headache had started to dance at his temples the minute Michonne asked who he was and it had intensified after his talk with her Doctor. He heard the seat creak with the dip of Maggie's weight beside him, her hands rubbing the tense plains of his back, yet again.

"What am I going to tell the boys? Their mother doesn't remember them?" He couldn't believe the words leaving his lips, everything seemed so surreal.

"We don't know if she does or doesn't yet." They'd be devastated if she didn't know who they were but she had faith because Michonne had been asking for her baby.

"For better or worse right? Well this is worse." When he said those vows five years ago he didn't think God would've taken it as a challenge.

"She's still Michonne, everything is just a bit distorted. You can help with that. You're the one she's going to need the most." Maggie was trying to make the dire circumstances not so bad but Rick understood what it all meant.

"She doesn't remember me Mags." The sadness in his timber brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes. "She doesn't remember she needs me." She doesn't remember how much he needs her either.

"I don't know what I'm going to say to Dre and Carl. They're more outspoken than I am. More observant, smarter..." It was his gravest concern, how was she going to treat their kids if she didn't remember them.

"You'll get through this Rick. You have all of us behind you." Her words were failing her. There was nothing she could say to abate his legitimate fears. All she could offer was her unwavering support.

"You know I promised to love her in all the ways I thought was possible." It was part of his vow that so perfectly described how wide a grasp she had on him but even in the face of this adversity he'd find a way to love her in ways that would seem impossible too.

"Can you umm, can you tell them I'll be back? There are some things I need to get done at home before I take her there."

"Whatever you need Rick." Her agreement was tacit as she watched her brother's slouched frame walk down the hallway.

She wondered how long this nightmare was going to last.

… **.**

She saw her life in candid shots, pretty images of her and Rick, Rick and their two happy, grinning boys, the four of them together looking like a modern day postcard. From all appearances they had a happy life, she had a happy life. Rick was a devoted husband and father. Only she couldn't remember any of it. Sasha and Deanna had given her a brief recount of the things she couldn't retrace. She needed a few deep breaths to take it all in but breathing hurts when you've got two bruised ribs from a car accident you had no memory being involved in.

Somethings hit her sharply; Andre was a beautiful baby boy, his disarming brown eyes reached out to her from the screen and clutched her heart. She couldn't wait to see him and feel him in her arms. Looking at him didn't feel strange despite having no automated image appear in her head at the mention of his name. Could it be that their bond transcended the abnormalities in her brain?

Carl was his father in print, he was going to be just as handsome as his Dad. She wondered what their relationship had evolved into. They had an eager little friendship when she was in College but she had no call back on their evolution from friends to Mother and son. Everything Deanna told her implied a close relationship. Rick was the Sheriff of the town she grew up in. The news of his profession didn't surprise her. He fit the role of a protector perfectly. The endearing quality oozed off him in waves. Sasha hinted he was a kind of royalty in the area because he was so effective and efficient in his field and she could see why. Simply put he was a man people trusted.

Something, maybe her gut, was telling her although her run down on him was non existent, he could be trusted but gut was being overridden by fear of the unknown.

She would have to suss Rick Grimes out for herself.

The hysteria had subsided considerably once the onset of the belly punching news had set in. She was vaguely informed about her life over the past few years after the actualization rose quickly to the surface like a swollen, dead body that she had no recollection of it. No flashbacks of being married to Rick and from what her family suggested, the great life they built. She tried to summon scenes in her head of their courtship, their wedding, their marriage but she came up blank every time.

Internally she was in a constant state of unrest as she grasped at the straws pushed out to her via snippets of their life in pictures. She had a puzzle to build and so far the box containing the puzzle pieces was empty.

She was also still trying to wrap her mind around the fact she wasn't married to Mike.

She studied intently on whose voice was calling her out of the smog? That voice pulled her back from death. She needed that voice but it didn't belong to Mike. She wasn't even sure she remembered what Mike sounded like anymore.

Mike was dead.

"Mike is dead. Mike is dead. We were never married. I'm married to…..Rick." She was saying the same things over and over again, hoping the repetition would soak through the thickness of her skull and bring to life the things that were dead up there. Mike had been dead for years but even the freshness of his death didn't throw her into plunging sorrow as she expected.

She stared at the intricate wedding ring on her finger. She was absorbing everything better than expected even though she felt spaced out, resigning herself to being present but not all there. Her procedural memory was functioning, she could use a remote control, she could tie a tie, she remembered how to drive. The doctor's examination that morning had been intense but necessary. She could recall things she had learned that morning. It was just the events of her recent past had been completely eroded.

She was a stranger in a foreign land.

Having her sister and her step mother on either side of the hospital bed was a huge comfort in itself.

"Mike died before he knew about Andre sweetie, you and Mike weren't engaged at least not to my knowledge." Sasha proffered.

"So thinking he was my husband was me giving myself that closure I never got? You think?" She recalled them being in love, marriage had been a brief discussion but things went bad soon after. She thought Mike was the man she was going to marry but that hadn't been the case. Everything bubbled to a hazy consistency up until that point. Just because she was remembering details doesn't mean she was remembering them correctly.

"You met Rick when you were pregnant." Deanna said softly. The fact they fell in love while she was pregnant with another man's child was a blow horn to his caring nature and selfless character traits. The brief, involuntary stoic interaction she allowed herself to have with him earlier on intrigued her. She was curious about his nature, his role in her life. He seemed capable and strong, self assured with a hint of doubt that she found extremely honest.

He was sweet and polite to her, running around getting things done. It did little to hide the pain that cut across his handsome face everytime she fumbled on saying his name or when she shied away from his touch.

How could she ever forget him?

She recalled Maggie Grimes and her Father Hershel, her mother had died a long time ago but that's as far as things went. Rick Grimes was a blank canvas in a locked door in her mind.

"Rick is Maggie's brother." She turned to Sasha and said, "Bet you gave me hell when I came home with a white guy." She needed a laugh although inside she was hosting a screaming symposium.

Sasha laughed and it turned infectious as Deanna joined in too. "It runs in the family. Dad started it." She teased pointing to their step mother. Deanna stuck her hands in surrender as she enjoyed seeing her girls laughing despite the tragedy amongst them.

"I have one too. His name is Abraham he has red hair and a moustache and a big mouth and everything. We're engaged. Getting married in six weeks." Sasha felt odd bringing her sister up to speed on everything, she hoped she remembered how well she and Abe got along.

"You're engaged!," She felt like a spinning bottle with no particular direction to go but in a circle. She was missing so many chunks.

"I am and you've pretty much taken over the planning of this thing. You have a book with all your notes and numbers but I'd understand if you can't -" Michonne stopped her as she palmed her soft cheek.

She hurt inside how badly her debacle was affecting those she loved.

"How about we do it together?" This bought a happy nod from Sasha who has just grateful her sister was awake.

Sasha leaned into her touch and said, "Michonne I'm so glad you're here. I was so scared I was gonna lose you. It felt like Dad all over again. I'm glad you're alive. I'd rather have you alive with piece of your memory missing than dead with all of it."

Tears were nowhere close to running out in the room, the reality of it remained she and Andrea could be dead but they had been given a second chance. She wasn't going to waste it on being angry. It would make her recovery more extensive than she planned. She empathized with her family, with Rick; they had all been living in a hellish nightmare over the last three days.

"So Andre doesn't know about Mike." She wasn't shooting much questions, just mentioning things they had been said to her within the last hour. She was almost to the point of information overload which scared her because her brain had proven to be an unreliable storage system. She had no choice but to trust it now.

"He knows Rick is his father. Rick loves that boy. He and Carl are brothers in every sense." There was a fondness in Deanna's voice when she spoke about Rick, hearing her thoughts on the man who had been nothing but considerate to her since she woke up, even in her disability to identify him, filled her with relief. Andre was loved.

"Carl is Maggie's nephew, I remember him. We used to chat on Skype all the time." That recall was clear. Carl had been five at the time and an adorable, inquisitive little boy. She would love to hear the story on how she ended up marrying his father.

"Carl is ten years old now, he'll be eleven in a few weeks. So that's why I think it's just the last five years you can't remember? Everything you seem to remember was just up until the point you met….Rick." It dawned on Sasha that the timeline she suggested appeared accurate.

Michonne had a connection with everything up until Rick entered the picture which put a different spin on things.

"Those boys are your life Michonne. And Rick's." Deanna held her hand, her gaze boring holes in her chest. Deanna saw the question that lingered in her mind the minute she discovered she somehow had married the Sheriff of King County.

"He's a good man and he loves you very much."

"I want to believe you, I just can't ….. remember him." She felt sad about it because she witnessed the defeat in his eyes right before he left the room.

"It's not going to be easy. But maybe your memory will come back when the timing is right. In the meantime those boys need their mother and they're not gonna wait for your memory to return."

"Mom what are you saying?" Deanna was startled at first by the expression, Michonne had never called her Mom before. Sasha looked taken aback too but they didn't prod her.

"I'm saying going home with Rick is the right thing to do if that's something you're unsure about. You're safe with him." She felt the conviction behind Deanna's words and although she was afraid of the unknown she had to try for the sake of her son…. _sons_ because that's what Carl was too.

Sasha showed her another picture of Rick and the boys, they were on a wide open field of healthily maintained grass while they kicked around a football, she instantly felt a line in her heart tug. He was spending time with their sons and from the looks of glee on Carl and Andre's faces they were having a ball.

She may not remember being a wife but she knew she was a Mother and for them she would try.

"How do you feel about all of this?" Sasha asked, thinking that something of old still remained in Michonne; her tenacity.

"Honestly, like I've been in an earthquake since I woke up and the room hasn't stopped shaking yet. But having you guys here means a lot to me." Her eyes were misty again and she figured her emotions would be scattered for a while. At least she knew her amygdala still functioned.

"And we'll be here for whatever you need. Your memory is gonna return. But in the meantime how about we take it one day at a time." The three of them held hands and Michonne felt empowered by their bond. They had faith in her and she was trying to build her own faith for the blackened path before her.

"Isn't it ironic that I hate watching daytime television but now I've got typical soap opera amnesia.". It was a good plot line for a cheap thrill of a story but in real life she would do anything to get her brain functioning in order again.

An hour later she had been released with an appointment to see an amnesia Specialist and a two week return date to check up on her shoulder and bruised ribs along with painkillers for inevitable headaches. Her bags were packed and in Rick's truck.

She was unobtrusive, observing from the inside of the cabin as he hugged Sasha and Deanna goodbye in the well lit parking lot. It was a caring exchange, with a deep showcase of a family bond. She decided to ignore the conflict between her unrefreshed memory and the evidence of his loving nature. She wasn't going to a home she couldn't cite with a man who was a complete stranger, not to her family at least.

She relaxed in the seat, her nerves were at a calm now and she waited for Rick to start the engine.

Her secret hope remained that seeing the home she lived in for the past five years would assist in extracting some type of happy memory of her husband.

* * *

 ** _October 2013_**

 _The house was unusually quiet for the dusky time of the evening, it was just after sunset and Rick jubilantly walked through the door despite the trying day he had endured. He was learning new systems and procedures as the new Sheriff and the induction period had been bumpy as he adapted to his new role. The best part of his day and had been for the past three months was when work ended and he got to go home to the three people who meant more to him than his own life._

 _He bypassed the loud television that had no audience in the TV room and ignored the aromatic scent of some kind of stew that called to his belly loudly, in search of his family. He bounded up the staircase with intent, this time of the evening was normally carded for homework and bath time so when he found the three missing persons all asleep on his bed it was a closed case._

 _He pulled off the khaki Sheriff's uniform after securing his badge and gun, remaining g in his under clothes and tiptoed to the bed. Andre was tucked in the safety of Michonne's arms sound asleep and Carl lay on the other side snoring softly with a hand flung untidily over Michonne's waist._

 _Always attuned to him, her eyes lifted open and he was blessed with one of her game changing smiles. The one that moved him from_ it's nice to meet you _to_ will you marry me.

" _Hey." He bent and kissed her pouty lips lingering for a few seconds just to savor the taste of her._

" _Had a good day?" She asked, unable to move as the boy and the baby demanded the cushion of her body to luxuriate in their sleep._

" _It was ok. How did this happen?" He gestured to where they lay and eased his way onto the king size bed._

" _One minute we were counting numbers and the next we were counting sheep." She shrugged and laughed thinking of the many ways Carl fought her on the afternoon nap only to discover he was the first one to knock out._

 _She couldn't take her eyes off her husband, his close proximity always had a way of unsettling her in the best way. She craved him like a drug addict needing a fix._

" _I missed you today." He touched her leg ensconced in denim shorts, he lingered on the smoothness, sometimes the softness surprised him but as he was discovering, her body was a wonderland._

" _I missed you too." Andre began to stir, his small fists pumping in the air waiting for freedom to release him from his Mother's hold. Rick was too eager to rescue him, once his chocolate brown eyes opened he swooped in, clutching him closely._

" _It's almost like he heard your voice." It was a developing trait, she was certain Andre knew who Rick was. Another reason to add to the Mt. Everest high list of reasons why she loved this man._

 _He had taken Andre for his own and even with the disparity in their skin color nobody could tell him otherwise._

" _He just missed his Daddy is all." he said proudly, kissing his downy crown and inhaling his powder fresh scent, filling his aura with all things innocent and perfect._

" _You know I thought this house was too big with four bedrooms…"_

 _Rick had said it was an ambitious buy but with two kids from the get go they needed the space. "But I think I'm ready to move Andre into his room now. Full time." She was also ready to make love to her husband without being mindful of the baby in the room. Most times Rick had her squirming, suppressing screams and moans as he brought her to peaks she never knew existed._

" _Yeah?" His eyebrows shot up with anticipation, understanding the subtext in her statement._

 _She grinned at his excitement because she was excited too. Her body had begun to resemble her pre pregnancy image and while she enjoyed pregnancy sex with Rick she was ready for their unbridled passion to extend in scope._

" _The house isn't that big babe. Andre will have his own room, Carl is in his and sooner or later when we're ready we'll add another baby to the mix. We're gonna make some beautiful memories in this house." He always wanted a big family but the desire intensified now that he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with._

" _Yes we are." She said resolutely a wide smile playing upon her face. He took her in, her beauty almost gave him no choice._

" _Sasha and Maggie said they're coming over tomorrow to help me unpack." It had been three months of living day by day, unable to make heavy plans for their home as time had been stretched between the kids and Rick's new position. The fourth bedroom was still a room full of unpacked boxes waiting to be organized._

 _She slowly separated herself from Carl, she smoothed back the rapidly growing chestnut brown hair from his innocent face and faced Rick. She wanted to absorb every expression he displayed when she shared the latest development between her and Carl._

 _He rose and started walking the room with Andre when he began to fuss. The blinds hadn't been pulled so there was still a bit of light penetrating their bedroom._

" _Carl asked if he could call me Mom today. He said he didn't want Dre to be confused when he got bigger."_

" _Andre huh?" Rick laughed, to say his son was smart was a complete understatement but Carl had been pretty taken with Michonne right at the start so he wasn't completely surprised by his well thought out suggestion. They had the perfect mix of friendship and a familial bond that often left him in awe. "What did you tell him?" He was curious about her response._

" _I told him I'd run it by you first." She had no problem with it and inside she was moved by the knowledge he felt that type of affinity towards her. Rick sat on the bed again, facing her. Andre was cradled in one arm and he used his other hand to caress her cheek, his thumb rubbing her lips. "That's what you've been to Carl Michonne, even before we exchanged vows. Lori is gone and she'll always be special to him but your his mother now. I know how much you love him." It was a wall of safety for them both knowing how much they loved each other's child._

 _Her eyes filled at his words, "I do love him. And I love Andre and I love you Rick. I love the life we have. You took all of my big plans and just created such a bigger story I would've never imagined…." Leftover hormones from her pregnancy had her crying at the drop of a hat but when it came to her husband and her children she wore her emotions on her sleeve._

 _He leaned in and took her lips in a lavish exploration of love and need. His tongue swept the inside of her mouth as she moaned into him. Rick was a fire starter but they still had dinner and_ _bath time to get done._

" _Hey….save some of that for later. I've got plans for you." She licked his lips to end their kiss knowing she was teasing him terribly._

" _Well I hope you got enough rest today, because you're gonna be busy tonight."_

 _She saw the mischievous glint in his blue eyes and raised him a cute wink, she was looking forward to it._

* * *

"Whoa! We have a lot of ice cream in this fridge. Who's the junkie?" She asked as the blast from the freezer hit her face. She had been parading in and out of the rooms of the beautiful house they lived in, hoping that something would spark her brain to shift from park to drive but to no avail.

The home Rick told her he purchased solely for them was breathtaking. There was a huge backyard for the boys to play. She loved the white wrap around porch that took up the front of the house. There was a small flower garden to the side of the front yard and she could see the appeal. Inside was more aesthetically pleasing with beautifully decorated rooms perfect for family dinners and family events. It was the kind of place she always wanted to raise a family.

The orientation of all the rooms and the odd fact about them he opted to mention on his tour did nothing to stir her recall like she hoped. It was an easy fight to give up but she attempted to divert her attention elsewhere. She needed to prepare herself for the boys. For Andre and Carl. Her boys. Her children. She was a mother, somewhere inside she knew it and accepted it.

She couldn't remember being Rick's wife. She was no longer a trustworthy computer storing relevant information, she was more like the eager tide washing away the writings on the sand.

"Um...we are, it's kind of a thing." She was the one to ensure the fridge remained fully stocked because of their healthy sex life and their keen appetite for sweet treats. Another thing she had forgotten.

"Oh!" She got there was a naughty story behind the elaborate amount of ice cream in the freezer but she wasn't sure she was ready to hear it.

"I think I'm hungry." Once that was said, her stomach grumbled in support of her statement.

"I can make you something." His stomach grumbled too and he discovered he hadn't eaten for the day. He immediately started opening cupboard doors and lining up key ingredients for the dish he wanted to prepare.

"I think I'll go take a shower while you do that. Is that ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be here when you're done. You remember where…...our room is right? If you need anything just call."

"I'll be ok." She said softly and disappeared in the same manner.

He braced himself against the sink, he felt he was wearing a mask like a participant in Mardi Gras in an exaggerated piece. He was trying not to lose it, not when he had so much to be grateful for like the fact his wife was alive and in one piece. Still, it pained him she was so close but yet so far from him. He prayed she didn't look at the boys with that vacant stare he had been subjected to today. He didn't blame her for feeling like an alien in her own home, he could only imagine what she was experiencing.

He tossed the minced meat in the pan and placed a pot of water to boil for the pasta. While he waited to stir the chili he decided to call his father to let him know he would be coming for the boys soon.

… **.**

She entered the cozy bedroom she allegedly shared with Rick. The room was compact with an en suite bathroom and a roomy walk in closet. Brown drapes lined the large window and a beautiful cream duvet decorated the bed. There was even a small sofa under the window. It created an intimate setting for the couple that dwelled there. She was supposed to be a part of a whole but her half had been fractured, she couldn't conjure any images of her and Rick in this room, sharing moments. She ran through scenarios in her mind, intimate conversations, reading in bed, making love but they were instantly made up stories that may or my not hold any truth.

Picturing them making love left her flustered at the sultry, unprompted images that popped in her mind. She made her way to the cream colored bathroom in desperate need of a hot shower and her hands covered her mouth in surprise, in gratitude at what she found there. Large yellow post it notes with brief details on the things she figured she used most decorated the wall at the side of the medicine cabinet, the mirror and over the shower handle. Things she obviously wouldn't have known off the bat.

 _*Yours is the baking soda toothpaste. I'm not allowed to touch it.*_

 _*Purple toothbrush is yours. It's your favorite color btw.*_

 _*Your vitamins are in the med cab. You forget to take them most days :)*_

 _*Floss is also in there. You're obsessed. Lol*_

 _*Throw everything in the hamper. We do wash on Fridays.*_

When did he have time to do all of it? It was incredibly sweet of him to guide her on the run down of their bathroom. She noticed or rather didn't notice any birth control pills or condoms in the medicine cabinet, she was curious about their sex life. Were they purposefully trying to get pregnant? Was she able to have more children? She stepped into the rich, gold tiled bathroom and stood under the overhead shower as she mused on the day.

She was grateful for Rick and the fact he was catering to her needs without her having to be asked redundant questions. He was proactive in his care for her and she was appreciative of his kindness.

She desired to move from viewing him as a stranger to seeing him as a friend she could trust.

Her eyes closed as the stall filled with steam and the water. She was hungry but she needed the water to help her relax.

…

"Chili? And Mac and Cheese? Together? C'mon!" She was weirded out by the combination but yet burning with curiosity to try the concoction that lay plated before her.

"Believe it or not it's actually one of our favorites. The combination may not sound appealing but trust me…. It's meant to be." He stuffed a spoonful in his mouth. It was his joke that the Mac and cheese treat was meant to be just like them but it didn't strike a note for her.

"Meant to be huh? Sounds like something my ex used to say." He was soon put in his place by her words, it had strike a note it just hit the wrong chord.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…." She didn't know why she was bringing up Mike. His face looked forlorn and she wished she could take back what she so ill timely spoke. He was playing with his food now, shoving the colorful cuisine around the plate.

"It's ok." He brushed it off and she felt even more disjointed than before. "Listen umm...I called Dad while you were in the shower and he said the boys were already asleep. He said to come by in the morning. There's a teacher's conference tomorrow so no school anyway." He shrugged and drank a few sips of the cranberry juice she had poured for them trying to swallow the despondent way he felt.

"Oh." Was all she said. She was looking forward to _meeting_ the boys but she was also looking forward to hopefully using them as a buffer between them. She was psyching up all evening to jump back into the Mommy role she knew she could step into with minute friction. Andre and Carl would make it easy and maybe she wouldn't feel like an actor on a stage everytime they looked at her.

Acting with Rick wasn't going to win her any Emmy's even with a good ole amnesia trope.

What she _needed_ with him was totally recall and perhaps the ice around them might begin to melt.

"I remember where the farm is. Maybe I can get them?" She couldn't see herself staying indoors all day. She had no recollection of her relatively new job but she was on extended medical leave either way. She might as well make herself useful.

Rick shook his head at her suggestion and she perked up awkwardly.

"Your car was totaled in the accident so until I can get you another one I'll have to take you wherever you need to go."

She hated being an inconvenience. "Can't I just use your truck?" She could easily drop him off to work and use his vehicle to pick up the boys and run errands, once she knew what those errands were.

"That may not be such a good idea."

"Why not!" Her tone was slightly raised and he tried his best not to take the attack personal.

"Because my truck is huge and you've never quite mastered the art of it. I think because it's so wide, your averagin' isn't the best."

"Exactly what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you end up hittin' a lot of animals when you drive it." He tried to say it as simply and as quickly as he could so she wouldn't feel offended.

Her hands flew to her mouth. In this life was she an animal killer?

He wanted to laugh because they made so many jokes about it before but her expression was of shock and not humor and he wanted to respect her.

"Besides I see you wince every time you move. You're obviously in pain."

That she couldn't deny, her torso felt like someone was drilling under her skin. "I'm ok."

"You can say if you're not Michonne. I'd just prefer if you stay at home and get as much rest as you can. I'll see if I can put in a request for some leave."

She knew he was right but she didn't like the feeling of being a burden. "You don't have to do that Rick. I'll -"

"You're my wife." His tone had an edge to it and she decided it was time for a change of topic.

"How long did we date before we got married?" What she really wanted to ask was how long did it take for them to fall in love.

"Four months." he said around another bite. His appetite was shot, he was just eating to be occupied. She didn't remember any of it, not even the Genesis of their greatness. Like the way they spent half hour saying goodnight. They way she loved when he kissed her neck. Despite her extensive wardrobe collection she was most comfortable wearing his clothes whenever she stayed over. He hoped she would recall soon the depth and substance of the life they had together.

As the brief dinner went on the conversation morphed into a more light hearted tone. They talked about everything and nothing and it felt like before, they had always been able to talk like best friends did, right at the start.

The flow of their conversation felt familiar to her. To him the camaraderie was inevitable like a pen scribbling out words of a bestseller, the flow was innate.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" His eyes were downcasted, afraid to look her in the eye for fear of his request being rejected.

She was quite surprised he asked something of her. She nodded, afraid his request would cost more than she could afford.

"Can I just hold you? It doesn't have to be for long." He almost lost her in that car crash and his world hasn't been the same since.

The naked look in his eyes and the twirling of his thumb at his side was when everything hit her. She was a broken emblem, highlighting the damage of their correlation.

She wanted to find the light switch so badly in that moment, to shed some light on the both of them. As much as she saw the love emanating on his face, she knew she couldn't love him in the dark. Her fearful response would come across cruel even though she wasn't trying to be. She felt ashamed for not being able to bridge the gap between them just yet despite the many bricks he was trying to lay.

"Can we…...can we take things slow?"

He heard the apologetic way she said it and although crushed he knew she was right. Better they wait for that kind of intimacy than she hug him out of a sense of obligation or worse, pity. He shouldn't have asked especially as he never had to seek permission to touch what belonged to him before. It was a reflex that his heart was seeking out possession of her own.

He didn't want to stick around to highlight more ways of how desperate he was to be close to her so he chose solitude instead of sympathy and said, "I'm exhausted. With the boys coming home tomorrow it's gonna be a long day. I suggest you get some rest. If you need anything….water, your medication, someone to talk to then I'm your man." Yeah he said it on purpose.

She nodded, too unsure to speak. "Where will you…..?" She already knew he would be a gentleman and give her some time before they share a space again.

"I'm two doors down the hall in our guest room." He left her in the kitchen and she felt the weight of her ordeal so heavy burdened on her shoulders all she could do was slouch over and cry.

… **...**

She heard the tortured ramblings as soon as it started, she had been laying in the dark staring up at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. Her surroundings felt cold and unfamiliar. Given the late hour and the fact there was only one other occupant in the house she deduced Rick was having a nightmare and she was certain he was calling her name.

She threw the covers off and sought her way through the dark to seek him out.

He was in a twist and turn dance when she entered the room, a hint of moonlight reached inside and took vigil on the bed and the light from the hallway highlighted the fact he slept shirtless.

"Rick." She hovered over him as much as her bruised ribs would allow and his eyes opened at her touch.

"Michonne!" He said alarmed, trying to erase the cruel visions in his head with the swipe of a hand over his tired eyes.

"You were having a nightmare. I heard you from down the hall."

Still trying to catch his bearings he rambled a bit, "You were calling for me. I was trying to get you. The closer I got the further away you were.". Even in his sleep she was out of reach. He dropped his fatigued frame on the pillow. He was weary from it all and even his body knew it.

"I couldn't….I couldn't save you." Everything was coming to a crescendo as she identified the undertone in his elaboration.

Guilt was eating at him, even in his sleep. The place where he should be getting some much needed rest. He probably blamed himself for her accident and it made her more curious about what exactly happened that night.

She sat on the bed, his body almost pressed tightly next to his. She reached out and touched his shoulder. "It's ok. I'm here." She wanted to add _at least physically_ but decided against it.

She could empathise with his need. She understood that even though she felt like he was a stranger to her, he couldn't desist from viewing her as his wife.

While her memory was shot, his was functioning as it should. None of this was easy on him.

A part of her wondered briefly what being inside his arms would feel like. She wondered if they were a touchy feely couple but decided not to ask. He smelled like clean sheets and deodorant and their eye contact remained unbroken. Her brain had a persistent instinct to trust what she saw in his eyes and what lay in the depth of his gaze was unbridled, unconditional love. She was trying not to stare but not even the backdrop of night could mask the handsomeness of his face. It couldn't hide his turmoil at not being able to save her either. She felt the monumental weight on his shoulder and wanted desperately to not be a stranger but the woman he needed while the night staved off the debacle that would be waiting for them in the morning.

She just wished she knew what that really meant for him, what it would entail.

"Rick. I think…...I think I'll be okay with that hug now." Even in the velvety darkness of the room she saw his face light up. If she could find a way to temporarily soothe his turmoil, to ease his pain of almost losing her then a hug was an easy thing to surrender.

She eased her way up to his side, amidst the tangled sheets. He relaxed against the bed, a pillow to his back and waited for her to make a move. He was letting her know she was safe, the ball was in her court and he wouldn't do anything to overstep the boundaries implied by her amnesia. She gently leaned into him halfway and he lifted his arm and allowed it to settle on her shoulder. Her skin burned where he touched her and she ignored it purposefully. She was already struggling to not stare at his bare chest.

It was a friendly hug, and she heard his sharp release of breath when she fully leaned into him.

"Thank you." It was said so softly she barely heard it. They stayed in the opportune embrace for a few seconds before she spoke. "How about we go downstairs and watch a movie." Somehow she knew they weren't going to sleep now.

"I'd like that." Rick said as he released her. He was in gratitude for her simple care and concern.

She leapt off the bed just like Andre did when he was excited about something. He glimpsed at the clock on the wall, squinting his eyes he barely read the time as 2:28 am.

He found his T-shirt and rushed it over his head as they both left the room. Four steps ahead on the wooden staircase she looked back with a teasing glint, "Maybe we can have some of that ice cream." She flashed him a grin and it was like kool aid on a scorching day.

He smiled, grasping onto a glimmer of hope that his Michonne was just below the surface of the woman who was struggling with remembering the key role he played in her life.

His wife was still there and maybe tonight they had taken the plunge together from strangers to friends.


	4. Good Intentions

Unlike her memory the sky was vivid, a painting with the brightest colors on display for the world to soak in, to bask in its splendor. She surrendered a brief smile as she squinted her admiration for the early morning masterpiece from inside the truck. Despite the storm brewing inside her at least a part of the world was at peace. Rick's nightmare catapulted an unexpected bonding session between them, they had a peaceful night together on the cozy couch watching movies and talking about everything _but_ her amnesia.

She let out an uncontrolled yawn just as they pulled up to the farm. Her hand covered her mouth in a rush, feeling ashamed for her lack of manners. Rick thought her coyness was cute the first time around but she had elevated in her appeal to him with her shyness thinking that her lack of deportment would affect him somehow.

"As soon as we get the boys, I'll take you guys back home. You can sleep. I'll head into work late. I had no idea we'd watch so many movies." He was still smiling, last night had been a pleasant advancement from their unexpected setback. They felt like friends and he hoped she was ready to trust him, at least with the little things. She wanted to tell him he didn't have to stay but she was understanding that he needed to take care of the things he could where she was concerned. She nodded and took off her seatbelt.

"How's your head?"

"Everything hurts but I took my painkillers." Said pain killers had been waiting for her next to a glass of water in the bathroom when she woke up. Her ribs were sore and there was a lancing pain radiating her shoulder. She was greeted with a constant knocking in her head when she finally opened her eyes that morning after what seemed to be two hours of sleep. Hopefully a woodpecker was drilling around up there in search of her memories.

Rick made sure everything was within reach while she was getting ready, having expressed he didn't want her to overdo things. She was getting a clear picture that he was quite exceptional at taking care of her. That aspect of their relationship she could comprehend and accept. It was the lost emotional intimacy that played on her mind the most. She was sure it played on his too.

Today was a major hurdle she needed to conquer. She wanted to have a clear head when she reunited with Carl and Andre. Excitement, nervousness and fear drummed under her skin in a heady percussion but she wasn't going to give in to the dubiousness that threatened to kidnap her faith. She saw a million pictures of the boys from Sasha and Rick, there were many family photos decorating their home; on the mantle, in the family room, in the living room, their images were chiseled into her brain but she was unable to reminisce on anything that would imply her mind knew them before her eyes did.

It made her feel like the worst kind of mother; she was broken somehow.

Rick had briefed her on their personalities and she knew she was already in love with them. Carl was the caring and considerate one who loved to ask the hard hitting questions. They both shared a love of comics and cartoons and was easily the opposition to Team Rick and Dre. Andre was a cheerful whirlwind of laughter and everything outdoors. He had an unhealthy addiction to anything with four wheels and anything that flew in the air. She marvelled at hearing Rick speak about Andre, there was pride in his tone and she could tell he loved their son so much. He told her Andre's sweet disposition was a healing balm for all that ails and she wondered if the baby boy she carried inside her for nine months could be her anecdote. She hoped that seeing them would spark some current to the faulty wiring in her head. She was desperate for it, no longer wanting reasons to question her sanity.

Still, she opted for optimism despite her struggle with light and darkness over her situation. She asked Rick to turn on the radio, in need of some melodious song to take her mind of the eagerness of seeing her kids, now was not the time for another headache. The truck would also be filled with a little less tension, they didn't feel like strangers anymore but they didn't feel like husband and wife either.

She was oddly surprised to hear the sweet sounds of K-Ci and JoJo with _All my Life_ oozing from the radio. She watched Rick give her a halfway smile when she shot him an upturned eyebrow. She pegged him as the typical country boy and was expecting contemporary or even some country music but she misjudged him. She folded her hands and glanced in his direction, trying to be inconspicuous about her observation of his model like appearance; the bold way his denim shirt stretched the tenacity of its fabric as it covered his taut back and shoulders, his dark jeans were thigh huggers and even if she didn't see him in boxers last night she could make out his well defined legs.

She was ogling him as he spoke, she looked away. Then gave him her attention again just as swiftly as she'd minused it.

She could oggle him. Right? He was her husband.

She redirected her attention to the tempting pink of his lips and the small sneak peeks of his tongue as he spoke. Was stubble supposed to look like it belonged on a man's face?He was explaining with a smug expression how she had converted him to urban music, to which she let out a scandalous laugh. He found her laughter at his music selection ironic considering her phone was full of every country western singer from Dolly Parton to the Dixie Chicks but she didn't know their influence on each other ran both ways. In any case he got to watch her pretty lips curve into a smile and that alone was a highlight for him. She noticed him staring at her too, Rick Grimes was a mystery to her but unravelling him was going to intrigue her immensely.

They were deep in conversation and she hadn't realized they arrived at their destination. She had a feeling that talking was _their_ thing and it made her glad to know she would've considered her husband a friend too. Talking to him was easier than expected.

The back door which opened up to the kitchen wasn't locked, so they walked right in with Rick leading the way. It wasn't a typical farm house, it was the fancy kind you saw on TV and she felt transported. The kitchen was rustic with an all American vibe with its white painted cabinets and soapstone countertops. Mason jars and glass canisters added to the quintessential farmhouse feel along with the soft wood stools and stately dinner table decorating the large kitchen area. She gathered all the action took place there and she was certain she was supposed to recall many happy times in her father-in-law's home but it was another empty room in her head . The Grimes' were a close knit family from what Sasha told her and they had plenty of friends who liked their bellies.

Her nostrils were deliciously attacked with the savory scents of scrambled eggs, toast, country fried bacon and hash browns. She instantly gained an appetite, forgetting the small bowl of oatmeal her husband made for her before they left home. It was a negotiating process just to get her to eat the steel cut oats.

Who needed a working appetite when she was functioning on half a brain?

"Good mornin' See you guys made it early." Hershel rounded the corner and greeted them just as Rick snagged a piece of bacon and handed one to her. She remembered Maggie's dad who was always well dressed, just as he was now; in a crisp white shirt, suspenders with dark trousers and his all white hair neatly slicked back. He was a jacket away from attending a wedding.

"Hey Dad." Rick patted him on his back as Hershel made his way to Michonne who was trying to maintain a smile on her face. She felt a chill inside, she remembered her friend's dad, but not his son.

"Michonne." He pulled her in a tight embrace no hesitation, she had no choice in returning his hug. "It's tragic what happened to you and Andrea. But you're alive and that's what's important. Your memory will come back when it's ready." All she could do was nod and pull some of his gratitude and hopefulness and seep it into her soul.

"In the meantime I want you to know two things. Those boys in there been askin' for ya' every hour on the hour, they're not gonna care too much bout' your memory. They just want you." The thing about Hershel was he spoke with authority but there was also a kindness and an honesty that couldn't be faked, she needed honesty amidst all her uncertainties. "And the second thing is….my boy over there, he loves you, don't be afraid of it." He was also wise and never held back whenever he had advice to give. He turned to Rick, "Be patient with each other right now." He stepped aside and poured himself a cup of steaming coffee as she tried to pull herself together. Everybody was campaigning heavily for the man like he was running for President. If he was so great why couldn't her mind pull him up from her database? Why must she start from scratch all over again? Life wasn't fair sometimes and her debacle stirred a bitter anger inside her. She had to swallow it down for the sake of the boys.

Maggie came next, belly first in the kitchen with two handsome young men trailing behind her still wearing their superhero pajamas. Their faces, still full of sleep brightened on site when they spotted her.

"Mommy!" Andre was the first to run to her and she wasn't ready for the overwhelming feeling of him in her arms. She dropped painfully to her knees with the weight of his embrace.

Her baby boy.

Her heart ceased, then started pumping so fast she thought it would beat out of her chest. She didn't want to let on how holding him was sweet sorrow for her. She had no consciousness of her own baby boy, the tears poured out of her like an aggressive waterfall. She wanted to stare at him, internalize every feature of his small frame. The Instant love that froze her was overwhelming in it's initiation of her son, almost like a physical ache in her chest. She made a promise of permanent reunion from here on out.

"Hi." She managed to breathe out under a watchful eye of Rick whose smile was visible for the world to see. Her hands were running all over Andre as she kissed his still baby like cheeks over and over. There was a trace of Mike in his eyes but he had her face and that made her heart soar. She drilled his image in her head, wanting it to be stored in a place that could never be compromised. She didn't want to let him go and he seemed content to lean on her chest as she held him.

Carl was slower in his greeting, from what Rick told her Maggie did a little explaining to Carl about her hopefully temporary condition because Carl was too smart to not pick up something was off with his mother. They were both uncertain of his reaction to her and everyone waited patiently for him to speak. She had flashbacks of Carl but the version she had of him in her mind was a five year old kid with a fish bowl haircut, bright smile and an obsession with frogs. Now he was almost to her chest in height with a tapered haircut. His piercing blue eyes were strumming loud notes in her chest that had previously been on mute.

She caught his timid expression and opened her arms to him.

"It's okay. You can hug me." Her tone was meant to reassure him, he caught on to it like a lifesaver and hugged her tightly. She could imagine the thought of losing another mother ripping him up inside. She tightened her hold on him too, wanting to protect him from that kind of fear. She hoped her arms were the right kind of security for him. The tears continued to trickle out, now like a slow stream and she did nothing to stop it. Her body hurt but with them under her touch she wanted to feel every visceral tendon when it came to Carl and Andre because at least she knew she could feel them seep into her heart. Her maternal instinct was overpowering memory loss and she didn't want the moment to be tainted with pride. She crushed them both to her, trying to hold onto the feel and shape of her bodies. Trading her physical pain for a heartfelt ache so deep and pure that it could only be love.

She wondered why they didn't have more kids. Andre and Carl were two loving children and she could easily envision a little girl joining the bunch.

She saw Rick move to loosen their hold on her but she stopped him with a vehement shake of her head and still of her hand. She needed to hold them, despite Andre pressing on her ribs harshly. The pain of not remembering her beautiful little boy was twice as harsh and now the scent of him was too sweet to lose. Maggie stood observing the trio and placed a warm touch on Rick, he too was moved by what he saw. She was doing this for them, sacrificing her uncertainty for their boys peace of mind and maybe hers too. She was always selfless when it came to their children, that hadn't changed.

Andre pulled away to look at her, his inquisitive eyes putting her under a microscope. "Why are you crying Mommy?" He reached out and swiped her cheek. "Are you sad?"

"I'm a little sad, but I'm also so happy I get to see you." She was trying not to run straight into a full on ugly cry, not with the room full of people but she was too late with her efforts.

"Dre, Mommy was hurt okay. She's still in a lot of pain so be easy okay." She observed how soft Rick's cadence was when speaking with her son. Andre responded with a nod and he found himself in his daddy's arms, she found herself staring straight into a miniature version of a certain Sheriff who had a comforting hand on her shoulder as he spoke.

"Is it true you can't remember us?" Carl's tone was soft, she touched his silky brown hair before she calibrated the correct response.

"Some things are a bit hazy, but we're hoping it comes back soon." She wiped her eyes again, tears staining her cheeks. He was a child and she wanted him to be as untouched by this turmoil as possible so she was intentionally vague.

"Does that mean you can't remember our Black Panther, Iron Man debate from last week?" He asked with a kind of grave concern only a ten year old could muster.

He metamorphosed her tears into a real laugh and somehow she knew that's what Carl did for her; he was her laughter.

"No I can't." She said it with a smile, she felt this alleged debate had the propensity to grow serious quickly.

"Too bad Mom. I won that one." His rationale of her memory loss was innocent but yet simple in a reminder of how grateful she needed to be that she was still here getting another chance to fall in love with these two boys again. She wondered if the sentiment could be transferred to their father too?

His casual use of the word _mom_ melted her. There were no biological ties between them but certainly there was trust and the revelation caused her throat to feel like she was a fire breathing dragon being burnt by her own power. She hoped they could rebuild what was lost to her, together.

"Maybe we can debate it all over again. What do you say?" It was an invitation for a debate and a relationship. He grinned in response and gave her a high five as a sign of promise.

"Maggie" She rose from the floor with a steady hand from Rick, the boys ran ahead of Hershel to get their stuff. "Thanks for all you've done for….us." Maggie had been faultlessly supportive since she woke up in the hospital. The tenure of friendship had been tried and proven over the years but having her as a sister-in-law was showing her new dimensions of love and family.

"Don't even mention it." She sipped her hot cocoa as she rubbed her cute belly. "The girls and I want to visit, maybe next week to talk about the wedding. If you're up to it…." She looked excited and Michonne thought seeing her friends might be a breath of fresh air.

"Andrea isn't returning our calls though." Maggie said.

She hugged Andrea briefly at the hospital, she was in no condition to speak for long or rehash what they'd been through. Maggie said she was in good hands with this Shane Walsh she had recently divorced. She knew a conversation between them couldn't be avoided for long. She also had to find out what happened the night of the accident.

"Mags, I think -"

"Rick. I'm fine. I'll be okay with a visit." She calmed him with her touch and nodded at Maggie as a sign of agreement.

The boys came running in the kitchen with Hershel toting their Iron Man overnight bags, he handed them to Rick. "I know you two aren't staying but have some breakfast before you leave. Annette made enough." He insisted pulling out chairs as he handed out pretty blue plates for use. Maggie's husband Glenn joined them and she remembered the generous veterinarian that was smittened with Maggie since she was twenty one. Michonne was excited to see they had gotten married and was expecting their first child.

Hershel waited on their response before he sat, with a _this looks so good_ look shared between Rick and Michonne they sat down and as a team constructed plates for their boys and themselves.

Communicating without words seemed to be effortless for them. They started talking about random things and she appreciated not being treated like glass because of her defect.

As she ate with her family and laughter filled their hearts and food filled their bellies she felt stronger and made a mental commitment to herself; she wasn't going to let amnesia break her.

* * *

The boys made it easy to slip into a routine, by the following week she had them all on a schedule with work and school and adequate time for the three of them to spend lavishly with each other. She really was falling in love with them all over again and they were easily the best part of her day. In terms of their cohesion as a unit things were looking up. She tried to engage in little house projects to keep herself busy. Being occupied helped her mind to focus and not float away to visions and dreams she couldn't trust. There were less eggshells around her and Rick too. Rick was cautioning her to not push herself too much, she had suffered two dizzy spells recently and was still experiencing a loss of appetite. He was checking up on her during the day and it felt nice knowing he was looking out for her. She didn't want to tell him how nauseated she was on some mornings because they were due for a doctor's visit in two weeks and she didn't want to alarm him. Dizzy spells and nausea was a side effect from having a hole in your brain where recent memories are supposed to be stored. She no longer looked forward to night time because in an odd twist of normalcy sleep had _forgotten_ her.

Watching movies during the night when sleep passed over them was their _new_ thing. Laughing and talking about any movie opened up a door for easy camaraderie between them. One thing she couldn't deny was their chemistry and her blinding attraction to Rick, she was having serious issues navigating her way around it.

Her conflict still remained that she felt no intimate connection with him. She wondered if she was trying to hard. She didn't want it to be forced, she wanted it to happen naturally.

Whatever _it_ was.

She was contemplating those same thoughts on Friday morning as she decided to shower and change before she got the boys up for school. The hour was early still with the sun and the moon in a power play for air space so the house was temporarily quiet. She hadn't heard movements from Rick down the hall and she assumed he went for his morning run. A past time he acquired when the engine of her brain ran out of gas. He would be back soon, coming to their room for a change of clothes. She didn't want to be in his way for a list of valid reasons she found silly in hindsight.

They were past behaving like acquaintances and had stepped into a comfortable flow with each other but the physical aspect of their relationship was frustrating to her. She wanted to touch him but she wasn't sure she was ready, there was still not even a pea size load of recall on him.

Her mind was preoccupied as she turned off the hot shower, she stepped on the plush bath mat and realized her robe was still on the bed. Still naked and dripping wet she decided to chance it and tiptoed out the cold bathroom to retrieve the cotton terry robe when she collided with a wall made out of rigid pecs and a firm core that magnetized her hands immediately. Rick was _that_ wall and she was unable to process the naked, glorious body of this man.

"Ohmygod!" She said as her hands flew from his perfectly contoured pecs to shield her breasts after the _burn_ of their body bounce began to subside. She was certain his dick hit her leg and now that spot was tingling with anticipation.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea you were there." They spoke in unison. He placed his hands on the low dip of his hip not bothering to cover up. He wasn't trying for propriety.

She was his wife and frankly he wasn't sorry they walked in on each other. Especially with the penetrating manner her curious cocoa brown orbs was soaking him _all_ in. He almost told her to take a picture, it might last longer but she may not take too kind to being heckled.

Michonne's eyes were torn, not knowing where to land; his sweaty sculpted chest? Or the pretty pink member that hung proudly between his legs? From the look of it, it was growing veiny and stiff and she felt a wetness at the juncture of her thighs that had nothing to do with the shower she just had.

She couldn't help it, she knew she stared. Just as how he was glaring at her perky breasts and the hand that tried to cover her crotch.

"What are you doing here?" She backed up, needed to break the trance between them.

"I live here..." He was in the mood to be a smart ass and also he loved this confused, imperfect version of her.

"Could you stop staring and grab me my robe please?"

She wasn't expecting him to simply turn around and do as she asked, showcasing his tight ass unashamedly in the process. He was playing dangerous and she was unnerved and turned on by his cocky confidence.

God! He was incredibly sexy. She was having mental pictures of his dick flashing in her head and all the things she could do with it or more than likely had done with it. He returned wearing a blue robe and he handed one to her. He was glad to see she was flustered, pleased that his body _still_ evoked that kind of response from her. She was biting her lip out of nervousness like she always did. She did it when she was thinking too, but this one was nerves, either way it drove him to distraction.

He remembered that way he sucked on it, before his tongue invaded the wetness of her mouth and how she would melt into him because when he kissed her, her knees grew weak.

Now all he had was a taste of a memory.

She shut the bathroom door behind her and leaned on the wooden support with a deep sigh. Where his body was concerned, her awareness was mainstream. She couldn't help but think how it would feel to be possessed by him. She figured that cognizance wasn't lost permanently, hopefully in her confusion a diaspora of intimate memories had been created. She hoped she could call upon it soon.

She heard him moving about their bedroom, he thought he was being quiet but Rick was anything but quiet, more so when he was trying to be.

It wasn't a crime to be turned on by your own husband. Rick was sexy without even trying to be. From his sultry blue eyes that could easily coax an unsuspecting woman to rob a bank, to his bearded face, that morphed him from underwear model, when his face was clean shaven, too naughty professor when his beard kicked in at high gear. It was no wonder the girls at the grocery store had been fawning all over him two days ago.

She could watch him walk for miles with that bow legged swagger he effortlessly owned. She intentionally never looked at his hands because in her mind they were absolutely perfect and would surely be her demise once they touched her. His hands weren't soft but they weren't callused either, she could tell they were used. Rick grimes wasn't a man who shied away from hard work. That attribute spanned his personal and work life. She knew he was a hard worker.

It would be too easy to surrender herself because of the intensity of their attraction. She couldn't deny their intense chemistry but she needed to go beyond the physical with Rick. She didn't want to just play a role for him or their boys.

They had too much to lose if the attraction was fleeting. She needed them to work and without sounding like she was making a joke about the thing that had so easily beset her from him, she needed to have her head in the game.

* * *

By the time he came home that evening the kids were in bed. Rick was working arduously with his team at the Station over the past few weeks and the Mayor's office to raise awareness for drug use in their schools and communities so sometimes late nights were unavoidable.

The boys reluctantly went to bed without their usual night time tuck in from Rick which normally preceded with a game like _hide and sleep_ or _toy scavenger hunt._ Andre and Carl lapped up the intrigue so they did not hold back how unhappy they were about his absence tonight. Rick was admirable in the way he fathered their sons, he was a good role model for them.

"Had a good day?" She assumed he took off his shirt in the car as he labored through their back door in a white tee, tiredness leaking from his face.

"Crazy day." He said, passing a feathered hand on her back. She was giving into light touches here and there, he didn't want to over do it but he missed the peace touching her usually brought him. He knew it was only a matter of time before she let him completely in her heart again.

He opened the fridge and retrieved a beer. He peeped over her shoulder to see what had enlisted her attention, she was pondering on table settings for Sasha's wedding along with a list of other necessities she was highlighting in yellow. She had been going hard at the planning for the past few evenings. He knew his wife, she needed to be occupied. She loved her law career and being home with the boys but as much as he knew she loved them it wasn't sufficient for her. She did the balancing act of working mom so expertly before. He could only imagine what her empty days felt like now.

He hoped his gift would be appreciated. He deliberated on it most of the week but decided to take a bold step and do something for Michonne that he thought she needed. She closed her note book and headed to the microwave just as he sat down opposite her at the dining table. He was pleased every time she waited up for him to come home. It made him feel like he had his wife back and he was too eager to spend time with her. She had prepared his favorite; steak and potatoes and he appreciated how she too was extending herself towards him. Over the few weeks the four of them went from feeling like something was missing to _something_ resembling a family even though her memory was yet to return.

He had stopped asking her every day if she remembered anything, he was too eager to find out and she was too numb about it.

They seemed to be discovering _more_ things she had forgotten. On the bad days she was the hide to his seek. For every door he entered, she involuntarily closed it. Knowing she was waiting up for him completely of her own volition excited him and he prayed he wasn't subjecting himself to a dose of naive optimism. A few nights they took up residence in the TV room and watched movies ranging from Pretty Woman to Predator, it was a time of discovery for them as she was relaxed enough to chat and ask him all kinds of questions of their life together. He was an encyclopedia on them and she was an eager student.

"I got ya somethin' " He pulled out a colorful brochure and handed it to her, she took it with the excitement of a child, beginning to read it immediately.

One thing hadn't changed, she still loved gifts and he still loved giving them to her. He needed to keep that in mind.

"Pottery classes?" Pottery was always something she wanted to get into but never had the time. Was he recommending the class to her?

"I was doing a bit of research and pottery is actually quite therapeutic for the brain." He read spinning clay brings your mind and body into a natural synergy and an idea struck. "Maybe you can take a few classes and hopefully it will relax you and maybe we'll see what can happen.." His words drifted off as he filled his mouth with the italian potatoes trying to make his suggestion sound casual and not controlling.

She was touched by his gesture and the research he had put into finding a hobby for her that not only she would like but also might have the byproduct of hopefully bringing her memory back.

"Wildfire? Where is it?" This was a great idea and she grew excited by the prospect of learning something exciting and new.

"It's downtown. They have a six week package with classes twice a week. You always said you wanted to try it. I um...I took the initiative and signed you up." His eyes moved away from her face, reluctant to see her expression.

"You did this for me?" The research, the planning, the thoughtfulness, his efforts did not go unnoticed.

He knew he couldn't help her retrieve all she had lost. As much as she was trying to reformat what her brain knew her efforts had been futile. The time lapse was doing a number on her. He felt her pain too, they were always closer than soulmates; when she got cut he bled too.

A pottery class would be a different landscape and maybe that's what she needed.

"I did." He took a swig of his beer as his eyes happily returned to her beautiful face.

"Thank you Rick." Her smile lit up his life. He missed her so much even though she was right in front of him.

"Your welcome. It starts next Monday." She placed the brochure in the basket on top the refrigerator and took his plate away, having finished his dinner and began to load the dishwasher.

"I have a question for you." She said watching him from her peripheral. Her random thought generator was on hyperdrive today and she needed a ready outlet.

"What is it?" He wanted her to ask him something intimate about their relationship but he didn't want to have any expectations.

"What's the one random thing we used to do together that no one else knows that you would want me to remember?"

His forefinger was circling his thumb as he deliberated his response. She leaned on the doorway of their kitchen in expectation of his answer. His response was delayed as he appreciated her form in her red plaid shirt and shapely black tights that fit her body like a glove. How could he be envious of a piece of clothing? It got to touch her body that's why, and all he had was flashbacks of the smooth plains of her belly, the scar on her left leg that she loved him to kiss and the diamond juncture of her thighs that opened up to him without thought or hesitation at his touch.

He knew what he missed but it wasn't what she wanted to hear so he searched again and pulled a more romantic ritual that expressed their unity perfectly.

She saw resolution cover his face and her heart began to race as he stalked towards her.

He boldly invaded her personal space and spoke, "Sometimes the boys might be in bed or playing video games and we'd just….dance. In any room of this house." His eyes weren't being subtle in the way they were devouring her and in as much as he was crowding her space she was confused by how breathing became easier for her.

She was expecting a few odd things but she wasn't expecting that level of insight to their closeness and love.

She felt brave with the knowledge of how romantic they appeared to be. She was nostalgic for something she was unable to miss.

It didn't even come to her in fragments, bits and pieces of a kiss or a caress that would somehow elicit a heated passion inside her. She wanted desperately to feel those things for him.

She didn't know where the gumption came from but the words, "Remind me" left her lips before she could rationalize what that would imply.

His eyes gave a seductive response with an unstrained desire that radiated from their blueness.

He fished his smart phone out his pocket, swiped the home key and toggled with a few more commands before setting it on the counter.

It was her first date all over again because the anxiety certainly felt the same as he took both her hands and lead her to the middle of the kitchen, just off the island. The three pendant lights above them played like a spotlight to their impromptu trip down memory lane. She was certain with him being so close to her, he could hear the pounding in her chest.

He switched on their Google Home Mini resting on the counter, something she didn't pay much attention to and spoke in a firm tone, expecting his command to be obeyed. "Google, play Richonne's love playlist on spotify."

"Richonne?" The portmanteau was amusing and pulled a laugh out of her.

"You came up with it when you created the playlist." He had a sideways smile as he answered. She couldn't laugh too much, it was her sweet but corny creation.

The potent swirl of the song's intro permeated the room and her whole face smiled with recognition. He wanted to permeate all corners of her existence in the same manner with an aim to remind her how much she loved him.

"At last by Etta James? I love Etta." She beamed at him as he brought them chest to chest, a light hand on her waist, her small palm in his firm grasp.

"I know." She didn't know why the cocky version of Rick turned her on so much.

"This is our song?" The glide around the room was effortless, smooth as though they had done the dance a million times before.

 _ **At last my love has come along**_

 _ **My lonely days are over and life is like a song**_

"One of them. You chose this one, you said Etta wrote the words for us."

 _ **At last the skies above are blue**_

The space between them where they weren't touching sizzled with longing.

 _ **My heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you**_

 _ **I found a dream that I can speak to**_

 _ **A dream that I can call my own**_

They were fluid in their moments and she could picture them in a ballroom mesmerizing an audience just by the way they moved in tandem.

 _ **I found a thrill to press my cheek to**_

 _ **A thrill I've never known**_

If only real life was like the dance they were executing so smoothly, her struggle wouldn't seem so tumultuous.

 _ **You smiled and then the spell was cast**_

 _ **And here we are in heaven**_

 _ **For you are mine at last**_

Her knees felt wobbly now, he felt her dip in stance and secured her more tightly against him. It was the assured gaze of his that hooked her in and their lips moved closer together while the orchestrated music was still swirling around them. His lips were parted, they were inches away from kissing and she wanted to kiss him just to see what he tasted like. She wanted the wetness of his tongue to take hers in a dance, reminding her of who she belonged to but she was a coward. So she smiled when she should've leaned, subtly telling him she wasn't ready. She closed her eyes, all she saw in his was love and it was something she couldn't give him back yet. She rested her head on his shoulder trying not to leave the moment.

She wanted some kind of trigger, some thought or vision that she could depend on to be true but nothing came. Nothing ever came and it was torture living in a house with a man she couldn't remember. It pained her more than the headaches, more than the bruised ribs, more than her sore shoulder because all she wanted most was to remember Rick. She was doing him an injustice by giving him false hope with a dance in the kitchen on a random Friday night and an almost kiss.

The dance was flustering her, he could see it. Her body felt tense now considering she was relaxed a few seconds ago in his arms. Her mind was racing, he knew it by the harshness of her breathing. He'd been a fool to think one song and an embrace would encourage her to open up to him.

Most days had been good for them but he needed a compass to navigate her mind at times. He felt like an idiot for his high expectations but he promised her for better or worse. He promised her forever so he was hers regardless of this heartache.

It was going to be a lot of work because she required so much patience from him but if loving her was a job he'd gladly work for free.

He felt her leave him before she subtly loosened her hands from his hold

"I think I'll head up to bed now. You mind if we skip the movie tonight?" She just wanted to be alone.

"Yeah sure. Have a good rest."

"You too. I'll see you in the morning." She started for the stairs and paused to look at him one last time. "Rick?"

"Yeah?" She heard the struggle in his voice and saw the sorrow tucked in the creases of his eyes and she felt worse because she had put it there.

"Thank you for registering me in the pottery class and thank you for the dance….it was...nice." She wanted to add she was sorry she couldn't give him more, sorry she couldn't remember him, sorry she forgot how to love him but she didn't.

He nodded, unable to speak, emotion stuck in his throat like a dagger stuck in a wound. Only wounds heal over time, he wasn't sure his heart would ever recover from this kind of torture.

She padded up the stairs quickly unable to bear witness to the intensity of his sadness. He opted for some liquid calm and went to the furthest cabinet, retrieved a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a drink.

He grew pensive in his pain but all he could ponder on was her feelings and how it was taking more strength than he had to see her navigate her new life so painfully.


	5. Good Better I'm Sorry

They were one woman down but the _Fussy Posse_ reunion was long overdue. Rosita took a seat on the wicker chair on the back porch of the Grimes' residence as Michonne and Sasha placed a delicious, golden apple pie and freshly made lemonade on a tray for the four of them to indulge. It was only eleven o'clock but the sun was yet to reach it's hottest potential, there was a light breeze blowing and the back porch overlooking the well maintained, green lawn was the perfect spot for a visit.

"I really appreciate you guys coming over. I know how busy you all are." Seeing the girls had been her bright spot today and it was a relief seeing her friends, remembering collectively their history together. She spoke to her sister most days but their conversations didn't traverse on the thing she was struggling with the most and that was her husband. These days they were all consumed with wedding tasks; trying to get everything ready for Sasha and Abraham's big day that was only three weeks away. She bottled everything up in an effort to conceal how difficult it was to work through her feelings or lack of feelings where Rick was concerned but she knew with these women, when their powers combined they were able to penetrate walls others couldn't.

"Of course, we were just trying to give you some time." Maggie said as she poured herself some lemonade. It had been three weeks since she left the hospital and still there was no recall of the last five years and she felt she was reaching the end of her rope but she had to push through it. Other people were depending on her.

"Talk to us, tell us how you're handling everything." Rosita got cozy on the giant porch chair as she waited for Michonne to speak.

"Yeah, don't feel you need to hold anything back. We're all here for you." Sasha chimed in.

She felt stronger knowing they weren't treating her like glass, that although she was feeling shattered they didn't view her as broken.

"I'm concerned about Andrea, she doesn't answer my calls, I think I'd like to go see her." She was hoping they had more information than she did on her friend.

"Shane said she isn't talking or eating much. She's in pain from her injuries and to be honest I think she's guilty about what happened the night of the accident."

She listened to Rosita intently, talking about the night of the accident was like pulling teeth with Rick but she understood it was a sore spot given all that had transpired. She knew about the divorce party, she knew Andrea went over to Shane's house and an argument ensued and she got a call to pick her up. What she didn't know was the extent of her conversation with her best friend in the car right before the accident. Only Andrea could fill that gap for her.

"We made it out alive, that's what's most important." Even if her body and her mind weren't unscathed from the horrific night in question.

"You're right. We should go see her." Maggie was also concerned about their friend who held no qualms about being the outspoken one in the bunch, which was why her silence was so deafening.

"How is Rick really? This can't be easy on him." Sasha asked, her tone low. She wanted to convey to Michonne she could speak freely knowing how well she kept her struggles at bay.

"Rick is holding it together. At least from all appearances. We've gone past behaving like strangers you know...we feel like friends but it's hard to just jump into the wife role when I'm not sure of what we have... _had_...have in the first place." It was a struggle to find clear words. "Thing is I can see it when he looks at me, there isn't much those gorgeous blue eyes of his could hide. He misses his wife and it pains me that I can't be that for him as yet." Her voice was weak and she felt her throat tighten and the dam she'd been holding at bay for weeks burst with quick tears streaming down her cheeks.

Maggie rushed to hand her a napkin.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. It's...this is hard. I feel like I disappoint him constantly. The boys are great. We have a bond. I love them, I do. And deep down inside I know I love Rick too but I just don't know why. There's nothing about him I recall. It's so unfair too because there isn't anything I need that he doesn't give me." The tears were free flowing and although she knew crying wasn't going to solve her problems it was a very cathartic, much needed outlet for her. She dabbed her cheeks trying to temper down the last bit of it.

"Nothing is wrong with feeling like that Chonne. You've been through so much. You both have but this won't always be a problem." Maggie wanted to believe there was a rainbow after every storm and her friend was due a rainbow.

"I'm the problem Maggie!" Rick didn't sign up to be with a woman who has no memory of him."

"You're not the problem Michonne. Amnesia is." Sasha corrected.

"Retrograde amnesia is a pain in my ass!" Her voice was heavy and loud on purpose even though she was cursing the air.

"How about we find a way to not view the whole amnesia thing as a problem." Rosita leaned forward with a silent promise to help fix things. She hated seeing Michonne in pain.

"What do you mean?" Michonne asked as she took another swipe of her face to remove the residual tears.

"You and Rick had this annoyingly, perfect marriage before…."

Michonne cut her off by saying, "Nobody has a perfect marriage."

"Well hear me out, you guys had it pretty good before. Maybe you can have a do over. Fall in love again. Make things better than they were."

"Rick is a great guy. You just have to find ways to explore that."

"He's been very considerate through all of it. He doesn't demand anything from me but at the same time we both know he's being short changed." Her chest felt lighter with her confessions, because she knew her friends came to stand in solidarity with her. She continued with her monologue. "He's in love with a memory that I'm afraid I won't ever live up to." That one sentence dictated her feelings on their whole marriage.

Rick was in love with a ghost, except even ghost had memories.

"At your core, you're still who you are. That's who Rick loves." Maggie said speaking on behalf of her brother.

"I just want to remember Maggie…." She was the one in deficit, unable to recall the surplus of his love in her life.

"Therapy isn't helping?"

"I've stopped going. It's just weird forms of meditation and talks about hypnosis." Therapy left her feeling more diffused than before.

"So do you allow him close to you?" She knew Maggie wasn't referring to sex but only one thing came to mind.

"We ran into each other naked in the bathroom last week." Conjuring the sexy image that was a naked Rick stirred her at her core. "And stupid me tried to cover up." In hindsight it made no sense to aim for modesty, not when she was certain he knew every depth and every height of her body.

"You got ovaries of steel girl. I'd be telling myself this is my husband and I'd jump him every chance I get and tell him I'm just trying to remember him."

"The physical distance between us probably makes everything worse." She wanted him to touch her, she just didn't know what happens afterwards.

"No sex in almost a month, he must be so….frustrated. At least put some extra lotion in the bathroom or somethin' for him." The quip came from Rosita who was obviously feeling Rick's pain.

"It's good to know some things are still the same. Don't ever change Rosita" She laughed referring to Rosita's quick wit.

"I think in order for me to get through this...and I'm not discrediting the serious pain you're experiencing at all hun but I'd have to look at all his positives just for me to get by."

"Sasha I hear you but I already know his positives. The man is the Sheriff of this town. He's a poster boy of goodness. It's the things he does _for_ me that's up in the air." The ways he affected her heart were the blank spots that needed filling up.

"Oh he does things for you honey." Maggie said and hi-fived Sasha.

"Like?"

"The man is an avid enabler of your shopping habits. That alone would make me wanna give it up." She laughed with them but she was confused by the information.

"What do you mean!?" She waited for Sasha to answer.

"It used to be a problem in the early days." Maggie revealed with a laugh.

"Rick thinks I have a shopping problem? I think I'm actually good at it." She would defend her shopping stance at all costs.

"Not anymore. Now he's the one spoiling you by always buying you gifts."

"He's the opposite of Abraham, everytime an Amazon package is delivered to his house when I'm not there I'm guaranteed a lecture on why we should be saving every dime for the wedding. I mean he's right but I need things…." her sister said with a pout. She was looking extra pretty today with her french braid and earth tone wrap skirt and white tank top.

"Daryl actually surprised me. He said I should limit my impulse buys to two things a month and dump the rest of the money in an account to save. Two impulse buys a month might be a problem for me but in practicality it's not that big of an issue."

"We should all have your problems Rosita." Maggie was still laughing at her friends. "I don't really have a shopping problem anymore because I don't have time to do it. Between the farm and Glenn's practice and this baby, I'm pretty booked. But I could certainly use a girls night out though. So Michonne as soon as you're up to it…" Maggie smoothed a hand around her beach ball bump, her green maxi dress complimented her green eyes.

"And y'all do that mind meldey thing, where you don't need words to communicate, I get so jealous because I have to spell everything out for Abe."

"Let's not forget that you two behave like teenagers sometimes, when you're in a moment you don't really care who's around. You two are always touching." Rosita filled some holes for her, she wanted to know the extent of their affection outside their home. She felt like a teenager gathering information on her crush.

"Sometimes it's hard not to be close to him." That confession came from the bottom of her belly.

"Sweetie it's ok to touch your own husband." Sasha said it and was backed up by Rosita who added, "It's ok to check him out too, he's never ashamed of checking you out, especially in public."

She was storing the information for a time when it could be used.

"And I'm just saying it's ok to have sex with him too. Who knows? A good sex session with your man maybe all the help you need to get your memory rolling out again."

"Oh God. Thanks for the advice Rosita." Sasha almost rolled her eyes out of the country at Rosita's life tidbits. "Those wouldn't have been my exact words but yeah..don't feel guilty for that."

"Rosita, I'll say it again, don't ever change." She appreciated her practical approach to life, nothing affected her for long and she could use some of that carefreeness right now.

Her phone vibrated on the glass table and she knew it was Rick without even looking at the caller ID. There were certain times of the day he would call her just to check in and she appreciated that.

"Ducky?" Maggie squinted at the screen trying to make out the name that appeared on the phone before Michonne grabbed it up.

"Ducky? As in….ewww! You two _are_ nasty!" Rosita teased her, clutching her belly and laughing at Rick's nickname.

She tried to ignore the heckling as she stepped aside to answer Rick's call. She kept the conversation about her girls' visit and what they were having for dinner brief.

She joined them in time to hear Sasha say, "Do we even want to hear the story behind this _Ducky_ nickname?"

"I know I don't." Maggie said resolutely.

"I don't even know the story." She decided she would pull this one out of Rick tonight. She was more than curious now.

"Mmmhmm." Rosita side eyed her as she stuck a piece of pie in her mouth. She was beautiful in the wine color, off the shoulder top and jeans she wore today.

"I'm serious guys! Oh sorry about before, he just wanted to see if I was ok."

"Here I am concerned about you, when you and _Ducky_ are gonna be just fine." They laughter bubbled out of them as they enjoyed the quip from Rosita.

Michonne was grateful for the simple fact she remembered what laughing with her friends felt like.

"Ok, enough about me. Fill me in on how Rosita got Daryl Dixon to look like the centrefold of _Mechanics Magazine's,_ man of the month." She settled in, ready to listen to this story.

* * *

 _ **May 2013**_

" _All I know is Shane is the best thing to ever happen to me and I don't want you to let this chance pass you by." Andrea laid the sliced bread on a tray as Michonne stirred the tomato soup on the stove, working as a team to get lunch ready._

" _So you're saying I should give Rick a chance?"_

" _Mich, you're seven months pregnant and this man is totally taken with you. He seems genuine." She_ _didn't need persuading in that regard, Rick loved her she knew it. Her consternation lay in the fact that he was willing to take up another man's child, he said so himself and she didn't want him to regret the decision in hindsight. She didn't want contrition to be in his purview when he thought about the decisions he had made. "He is genuine." With_ _school being completed she and Maggie had returned to Brash as they both had unexpected change in plans. Maggie was using her business degree to turn her dad's farm into a more lucrative family business while assisting her boyfriend Glenn to open up his veterinary practice._

 _She moved back in with Deanna temporarily as she was seven months into her pregnancy and none of her family and friends, her boyfriend included approved of her being in her apartment alone. Rick_ _insisted she move in with him and Carl but she needed to make sure they weren't rushing things. They were riding along on a bicycle which was slow compared to Shane and Andrea who were aboard a railway train; they met and married with a microwave courtship, within the same amount of time she had known Rick._

 _Today Rick asked her to tag along while he helped Shane lug all of Andrea's belongings into their tiny starter apartment. They_ _were supposed to be preparing sandwiches while the two men ferried the furniture inside but had gotten distracted while Michonne informed Andrea of the latest advancement with Rick._

" _You and Shane can do a lot with this place. There's possibility for transformation." She said trying to take the heat off herself._

" _Yeah well, the only room we use right now is the bedroom." Andrea's bright blue eyes the colour of the ocean on a promising, clear day sparkled when she spoke. In all the years she knew Andrea nothing lighted her up like Shane Walsh._

" _But stop digressing. Move in with the man. You two are in love and it's sweet to watch. You deserve this Michonne."_

" _I didn't think there was a possibility I'd be happy after Mike, that I could feel this way about someone again. With Rick it's so much more intense than anything I've ever had before…..it scares me." She felt like she was walking on a glass bridge above a discovered Utopia and while she knew the glass could possibly crack under her feet she couldn't help but lean over and stand in awe of the view._

 _She thought she had loved big before but Rick was the love of her life and falling in love with him was the best thirty seven days of her life._

 _Andrea took the sliced cheese and started assembling the sandwiches to be grilled. Michonne took a seat across the open floor on the new orange couch that almost dwarfed half the living room._

" _Don't let fear keep you from what's meant to be. I know how you feel about him. I can see it in your eyes."_

" _How?"_

" _Because you look at Rick the same way I look at Shane. Like you want to be with him forever."_

 _She rubbed her belly as her baby boy stirred within, he too was communicating but she didn't know how to interpret kicks and jabs. She_ _sank into the couch relaxing her head on the soft cushy head rest as she stared up at the gypsum ceiling silently reasoning with herself. Andrea approached her with a glass of water while the toaster added the final touches to their meal._

" _You remember that story I told you about my father? How he said I'd never amount to anything because I don't like to acknowledge who I really am?" Andrea always wanted to put her poor upbringing behind her, she had moved out of her parents house a couple years now but her father still lived in the corners of her mind. She was always trying to prove him wrong despite the fact he was dead and gone. It_ _was why she finished high school at the top of her class and finished her degree ahead of everyone else. She sacrificed her dreams to be an overachiever and ended up trading her fixation with fashion for a future as a boardroom boss._

" _Well look at me now, I'm somebody's wife and it's the best feeling in the world." Michonne could tell just by her tone that her 33 day marriage had placed her on top of the world and in her opinion, the new addition to the precinct was a good man who laid out the red carpet everytime Andrea stepped into a room and while she had reservations of their quick wedding it was clear how Shane felt about her friend and Andrea returned his love like a frisbee._

" _I'm happy for you. You deserve this." Michonne said a bit jealous of loving without hesitation._

" _With the baby coming soon, I'm afraid things will change. Maybe he'll realize we're more than he bargained for and that scares me Andrea. Thinking about being without him when he feels so much a part of me." The way their friendship was setup there was nothing left unsaid between them. They could dissect anything together. Andrea_ _held her hand in full understanding, "Sometimes love doesn't give us a choice to be scared. Sometimes fear is the only thing that allows us to unlock courage inside us. Don't let it keep you from a love like this. You love him and Carl too. Rick loves you and he's gonna love this baby, together the four of you can be a family Michonne. Plus the man is fine as hell and carries a gun. There's no deliberation for me. I'd be jumping him every chance I get." Andrea's advice always came unbridled with a touch of rawness that was her signature._

" _Who would'ya jump babe?" Shane asked as he and Rick approached them coming from another heavy deposit in the bedroom._

" _Um! Nothing babe Chonne and I were just talking." She said moving towards her husband, wrapping her arms around him. "Lunch is almost ready."_

" _Ok. Come tell me if the tv is centred on the wall." Shane dragged his wife down the narrow hallway without a second glance at their guests. Rick slipped in behind Michonne on the couch and held her in his arms as his lips reunited with her cheeks._

" _You don't think they'd have sex right there when we're right here right?" His friends struggled with control on a regular; it would be no surprise if they couldn't keep their hands off each other while inspecting a television._

 _She mumbled her response and he felt the tenseness in her body._

" _Tell me what you're working on in that beautiful brain of yours." he saw the pensiveness in her eyes and if something was bothering her he wanted it dealt with, not wanting her stressed out while she was pregnant. Always_ _attuned to her mood she turned to face him, unable to keep her fears silent anymore. Doubt kept telling her lies in her own voice and it was time to expel them all. "I'm afraid when the baby comes you'll...want out of this. That's why I haven't agreed to move in with you. I love you Rick and I love Carl but I would understand if this would be too much for you. I'd let you out of your commitment to me." He had promised her he would always love her but they were words and were not set in stone. It wasn't an easy task to raise another man's child._

" _That's what has you looking so sad?" He caressed her face with his palm. "Look at me Michonne." He coaxed her gently with his smooth voice. She didn't want to stare at his eyes because sometimes when he held her gaze all she saw was forever in them but his tone expected follow up and she gave in._

" _You're it for me." was all he said while her stomach did cartwheels._

" _I don't come single. I'm a package deal." She knew he knew that but she saw the need for reiteration._

 _He touched her belly, rubbing it in a circular motion in an effort to relax the beauty in front of him. "Where do I sign then? And I got a Carl, remember him? Smart mouth? Seems to think the sun rises and sets with you?" He needed to see her smile. Did she know how much he cherished her smile?_

" _He isn't gonna look like you, people are gonna have questions." The lawyer in her was acting up, dealing in facts and not feelings._

" _What do u mean? He isn't gonna be white? He said teasingly. He nuzzled her cheek and said "He's gonna look like you and that means I love him already." As_ _though the baby on the inside knew he was a topic of conversation he gave a few soft punches under Rick's hand._

" _See my boy agrees." he said proudly. "We're going to be a family, I want that if it's something you want." He was bartering her I and me's for us and we's. It didn't make any_ _sense to her after his confession to continue clutching to the rope she was holding like a lifeline when the ground was so close to her feet._

" _I want that too." She jumped and he caught her in his arms, baby an all._

" _Good because I have a big surprise for you. Carl and I have been working on it all week long." She felt giddy and she was excited about whatever surprise he had in store. She just loved being in love with Rick._

" _What is it?" She was looking for her handbag, ready to blow this joint and spend the rest of the evening with her two favorite men._

" _It starts with N and ends with Y."_

" _You did not build a nursery Rick?" Hey eyes misted over, to think she was gonna pass up a chance to be thoroughly loved by this man._

" _Yeah I did." He knew he couldn't hold water when it came to his surprise._

" _But how did you know I would…?"_

" _Because I know you and this is meant to be." He kissed her on her lips twice for good measure._

" _You know what Rick, I think you're right."_

* * *

"Ok guys, how is our little project coming along?" She watched her boys in a grand showcase of their artistic talent as they decorated the small sign she had managed to construct, with their tools. Andre and Carl were bent over the banner on the table coloring intently on a mission to finish the _surprise_ before Rick got home.

"Mommy I need more red." Andre asked for the second time as though red was the only pigment available on the color wheel.

"I'm sorry sweetheart you're gonna have to use orange until we can go to the mall and get you more okay. In the meantime aren't you glad you're doing this for daddy?"

Carl hadn't budged, he had the main task and that was to ensure the letters were correctly placed for ease of read upon Rick's entrance. She had the task of finding all the last minute, don't-have-but-you-will-do, ingredients for a birthday cake. If Maggie hadn't call her an hour ago to tell her today was Rick's birthday she wouldn't have known and the day would've passed without any notice and the knowledge made her sad.

They woke up to their usual routine this morning, he made them all breakfast which wasn't out of the ordinary although in hindsight this breakfast included pancakes and he had never done that before; that should've been her tip off. She spoke to him twice on the phone today and he never said a word. She felt slighted that he hadn't mentioned it to her. They had arrived at a new level in their growing relationship which helped to abate the tension that gripped them when silence was better than communication. Now that gap had been filled with openness and honesty on most things; it was scary as much as it was a relief. Needless to say a day like today was something she would not have remembered on her own. Birthdays were supposed to be celebrated and whether or not they were firing on all cylinders she wanted to do something special for him.

Working within the parameters that held her, special meant a nice dinner, a birthday cake; which was more for the boys than Rick and a happy birthday sign as she was still constrained to the house without the use of a vehicle. As soon as she was able she'd make compensations for her lack of readiness on such a special occasion. She may not be able to give him the ultimate gift yet but she wanted him to know how thankful she was for all the ways he was so thorough at taking care of them.

"Something smells yummy!" Carl was most enthused about the cake she had no choice to build from scratch. By the time she toured their medium sized pantry which held enough food for a zombie apocalypse there were some key ingredients missing for a cake like flour and milk so she had to improvise. She was no Ina Garten but she decided she'd call herself _The amnesiac contessa_ while she fiddled in her kitchen.

"It should be about done. You think we should take a peek?" The bright eye kid she was growing quite fond of as the days past nodded his head vigorously. She slipped on the oven mittens and opened the door, Carl guarded her side not wanting to miss the show.

"Looks great!" She stuck her mitten clad hand in the air and Carl hi-fived her, hitting her with one of his signature smiles too.

Andre was too focused on finishing the surprise for his father to be interested in anything else. The scent of vanilla wafted through their nostrils, after checking the time on the clock and sticking a knife in the center she deduced the cake was ready.

There was a bowl of frosting waiting to decorate the last minute birthday cake. While the cake was cooling she added the final touches to the beef lasagne and roasted potatoes she had prepared for him.

Timing was perfect, she had not too long tucked the frosted cake in the refrigerator when she heard the rumble of Rick's truck engine as he pulled into the driveway.

"Dad's here! Quick guys get the sign!" The birthday excitement benefitted Carl and Andre but the short blue dress she wore with its flair bottom was for Rick and she hoped he saw her attempt at making an effort. She knew he wouldn't come outright and say it but he wanted his wife again and it was proving to be a difficult task to fall into a role she couldn't remember. She wanted a bond to be more important than a title but it required them both to step out of their comfort zones. She didn't want high expectations to be there downfall.

Carl and Andre weren't privy to the strain between them caused by her memory loss; they made it purposefully so, not wanting their boys to be affected by the fray. Most days was a fight not to crumble when she couldn't remember Andre's favorite food or Carl's favorite t-shirt and they expected her knowledge on these things because she was _mom and no one could fulfill_ that role for them but her. Still, she could wear that cloak, she knew its requirements.

She wanted to ask Rick if his patience never ran out because she wrestled with hers every damn day when the knowledge of being incapacitated by her own brain hit her square in her gut. Even if he ran out of patience, he never waned in his devotion to helping her in the midst of her mental hibernation. He was ready with answers to any questions she had, he accompanied her to every doctor's appointment and took her to her pottery classes faithfully. A few nights a week they would settle on the couch to watch one or two movies to foster some measure of closeness between them but when the movie was over they retired to separate rooms.

The strain came when they were alone, without the boys as buffers between them. When Rick wanted to build bridges and she was still struggling with their barriers.

Still, things were moving at a slow but steady pace for her in terms of her heart connecting with Rick again. Attraction and chemistry she could not deny and she could see why she married him but her heart was at the back of the class holding back on its true potential for reasons that weren't quite obvious to her yet.

She _did_ feel like she was waiting for a rejuvenation of her memory first. In order to be free from the shackles of her mind, she needed to liberate herself. She didn't want to go to him as a fraction, Rick deserved to be loved by someone who was whole and until she felt that way again she didn't know if she could permit herself to fall for him. He was a man and she knew there were certain aspects of their marriage he obviously missed and she was curious about it as much as she was turned on by his masculine frame and charming good looks but sex didn't make a marriage.

No one could blame her for wanting to delve into their past to understand their future but she didn't know how long he was gonna stand at the sidelines waiting on her to be ready. She would understand if he realized he no longer wanted to suffer to save pride. Some days were better than others and some days she wished she could curl up in a ball and cry. Life would not give her that kind of time off, not when she had two boys who demanded her time and attention, expecting her to get everything right.

She wouldn't fail them, she couldn't.

The thing that was helping her greatly in the mess that was her memory was the pottery class Rick had signed her up for. To say shaping clay wasn't therapeutic to her mind and soul would be an untruth. There was something freeing in feeling the liquid mud turn into something functional under the palm of her hands. It allowed her mind to be fully engaged as she tried her best to embellish the technique she learnt. The task of centering the clay on the wheel allowed her mind to center too. If the main objective wasn't achieved the wet clay could easily showcase the defects obtained by her lack of focus. She dedicated herself to concentrating solely on the mold, everything stripped away as she opted to control the delicate medium between internal and external imbalances. It made her pretend she was fully functional for a few hours.

She also made two new friends in class and had hit it off with the instructor.

Morgan Jones was a man of faith who always wanted to join the priesthood but when he met Jenny she ultimately changed the course of his life. When his wife of twenty five years passed suddenly he decided to pursue a life of artistic pleasure. He empathized with her circumstances and never once passed judgement on her. They shared their horror stories and why the pottery sessions were important for them as student and teacher on the first day and that was it; the almost priest turned potter and the amnesiac became fast friends.

She stood behind the boys on the cusp of the threshold waiting with an unprecedented giddy excitement at seeing the joy on Rick's face. She calmed the fidgety boys as their elation had transformed them into two jacks-in-the-box.

The door knob turned and there was no time for ceremony, the boys shouted "Happy Birthday Daddy!" as they held up the sign they worked all afternoon on.

"Hey guys! Is this all for me?" He said cheerily, adopting the role of the honoree perfectly. He tossed the look of inquiry to her and shook his head and laughed. His smile was a magnet, she felt herself being reeled into his aura. It took the courage of a lion for her to just kiss him on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and she felt his firm but controlled hands wrap around her petite waist. She could pick up post in the position of inhaling his musky scent all day. "Happy Birthday Rick."

"Thank you." his hands found hers and he slipped his fingers between her digits.

"You doing okay today? No nausea?" He knew she had off days but by her glowing disposition he assumed today wasn't one of them.

"I'm good. This evening is about you." Life was throwing him a bone on his birthday and damn if he didn't wanna eat it all up.

He fist bumped Carl and lifted Andre in his arms as they migrated to the kitchen.

"Mommy made lots of stuff for you!" Andre advised, he would've known by the beautiful aroma that overtook his nose upon entrance of the spic and span kitchen.

"She did, did she?" He looked to her wondering who informed her today was his birthday. His money was on his sister. He resigned himself to go the somber route today giving way for the more important things like the boys and focusing on helping Michonne.

"We spoke twice today, you never said a word…."

"I didn't want to make a big deal I know things aren't…" he allowed his words to flounder as he was unable to discern the correct terminology to apply to their situation.

His birthday was overshadowed by all the bad they were going through and he didn't want her to do something for him out of a sense of obligation. Coming home to being greeted by her at the door was a much needed reprieve from the sadness of having her under his roof but not inside his heart. Loneliness had been courting him, fooling him into thinking solitude was better than having her next to him and not being able to touch her.

He decided he would take things one day at a time. He loved her and he wanted her back with him but she wasn't ready.

Yeah, he thought she could try harder but he didn't know what it felt like to wake up one day and forget everything about the person you promised your whole life to but he loved her more than their setback and he knew without a doubt his place was always beside her.

For now he noticed the tempting dress she wore, it was out of her usual casual wear which consisted mostly of tight fitting leggings and jeans and oversized shirts. She was a flirty vision in the blue teaser of an outfit and he appreciated how firm and round her breasts looked in the spaghetti strap provoker.

Granted, he hadn't seen or felt her breasts in his hands since their naked dance a week ago he thought his observation of her breasts appearing larger to be accurate. It could also be a case of his wonton desire for something that belonged to him but he couldn't touch. "You look beautiful" He bit his lip after the sentence left his mouth only because what he wanted to bite was too far away, in every sense of the word.

"Thank you. You wanna wash up before dinner?" She needed to send him upstairs to give her libido a fighting chance to survive the night.

"Yeah I'll be back." He said and because he was feeling pumped from her sexy stare and open admiration he kissed her cheek and left the room.

Fifteen minutes later when he returned he couldn't help but feel proud of the way she was appreciating his body from head to foot. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt with his infamous blue denim jeans. "You repaired the tear? Thank you." He said taking his seat at the table.

"Yeah I did. That jeans is old. I really wanted to go to the mall and get you a new pair or two." If there was one way to test Rick's devotion it would be witnessing his loyalty to the raggedy pair of jeans he wore repeatedly.

"We can go to the mall this weekend." If that's what she wanted, that's what was going to happen.

"Yes!" Andre cheered at the side of his dad with a fist pump. The mall housed an aquarium and it was one of his favorite places to go. Smiles were being produced all around the table and she declared to herself they were going to have a great night.

Dinner went by smoothly with lots of chatter about random things. The boys each gave counts of their school day and so did Rick. Michonne felt a part of the unit, adding her two cents and just listening to her guys converse.

 _It had been a good day._

They were eager for the cake as their reward, having practised the happy birthday song to serenade Rick. She lit the ten candles she found, assuming it was from Carl's last birthday, while Carl blindfolded Rick not wanting the carefully crafted cake to be unveiled too early.

"You guys made this for me?" He said pulling Dre into his lap as he admired the sweet circular concoction in front of him. The frosting was a pale yellow and the candy like scent was tempting him to take a scoop of frosting with his finger but he knew his boys would pattern after him.

"So..we were lacking in some ingredients so I had to improvise, so I can't attest to the taste." She hoped the flavor was right and he liked it. She was anxious for his approval on this impromptu venture. He touched her hand and rubbed his thumb against it, "I know I'll love it. Thank you….this..this means more to me than you know." She was touched by the appreciation in his eyes and she was glad she was able to make him happy again, at least for one day.

"Ok guys you ready to sing Happy birthday for Daddy?" She turned head cheerleader as she revved Carl and Andre up as they both faded whenever the momentum died down.

"Yes Mom! We've been ready!" Carl whined, waiting for this moment all afternoon.

"Alright let's do it." Rick felt his heart constrict as he watched three of his most favorite people in the world sing to him. It was contagious not to share in Carl and Andre's joy or the look of love in Michonne's eyes whenever she looked at their boys. When she looked at him her face was always penetrating and he wanted to tell her he sees her still.

In the end Andre blew out the cake and then bragged to Carl that he won.

"Mommy! You have to kiss Daddy." Andre reminded his parents, understanding this was part of the birthday routine. Michonne was certain a birthday kiss was a staple aspect of celebratory proceedings at the Grimes household.

It was Rick's birthday; she shouldn't mess with tradition.

She knew he wasn't expecting a kiss so it thrilled her more so to do it.

She turned to Andre, "You're right baby."

She leaned up and smacked him square on the lips taking things from a peck to something more lingering with Andre sandwiched between them. He held her face and kissed her back wanting to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible.

"Eww!" Carl said watching his parents and covering Andre's eyes.

"Ok. Ok. Who wants cake?" She broke the kiss gently, needing to catch her breath. Rick looked shocked at first but that sexy sideways smile was back as he took the knife and began to slice the cake. He kissed Andre and Carl on their heads while they focused on measuring the slices they received. He laughed until his smile line reached his eyes and his head tilted back enough for her to see how relaxed and carefree he felt.

She wanted more of him and her acknowledgement helped her to take her friends' advice. She decide to be open to whatever the night held for them.

… **...**

It was his birthday but the boys had been given a gift of staying up one more hour to watch the movie Transformers with their father. While the cars morphed into robots and mechanical weapons the excited squeals were heard all around. she used the loud admiration for the plethora of on screen arsenal to inch her way to Rick's side while his arm rested on the sofa. Andre and Dre were both laying on pillows on the ground as they enjoyed family time. She knew they were gonna doze off in that position and she and Rick would have to lug them upstairs to their room but they had a good day today and good days were valued more than scheduled bedtimes.

When Rick discovered his wife's warm body almost in the crux of his arm he decided he had two choices; play it off cool or take part in her subtle game. He opted to play her game too and allowed his hand to slip around her shoulder. In a few seconds he witnessed her internal struggle with their comfort level get overthrown by contentment as she snuggled securely against him. He knew she trusted him then and he wanted to send thanks to whoever he had to that she was throwing her caution to the wind and allowing herself to be comfortable in his hold.

One small step for Rick, one giant leap for Michonne.

It was probably the best birthday he ever had if he was being honest because while she couldn't imagine the love they shared she knew she could trust him.

An hour later he was content to relax for the rest of the night on the sofa with her but a wave of nausea hit him fast and furious, his whole body felt weak from the sudden attack.

He thought it away not wanting anything to disturb the closeness he so rarely got to enjoy with his wife who was just as engaged in the movie as their sons. He tried to limit his movements not wanting to alarm her but just when he thought the pain was fleeting the burning feeling came. Tingling sensations that overtook his hands and feet grew more obvious as seconds ticked by.

At first he thought it was her close proximity that was making him feel slightly claustrophobic too but it wasn't that. There was a rumble of pain in his stomach and his chest felt tight. He had no idea what it could be. He felt his skin to see if he was coming down with a fever but he couldn't tell. Michonne felt his movement and looked at him and grew concerned at the sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Rick. Are you ok?" She jumped up from the couch to hover over him as she tested his forehead for a high temperature. A grey pallor had taken over his face and her heart was racing not knowing what was happening.

"Talk to me Rick." She hoped there was no panic in her voice she didn't want to alert the kids.

"I'm not sure. My throat feels tight and my stomach is cramping up. Feels like I wanna throw up." He was trying his best to get off the chair but his feet weren't cooperating. His whole body was on lock down.

Michonne watched color drain from his face and she checked his temperature again to see if a fever had popped up suddenly.

"Can you help me get up?" He asked his voice almost a whisper. She wasn't uneasy because he asked for help it was that he needed it. She wondered if the meal she created gave him an upset stomach or worse; food poisoning but she was feeling fine and the boys hadn't complain of any discomfort since dinner which was well over two hours ago. Her body cramped up with dread seeing Rick's weakened state.

The boys were still glued to the TV, so they weren't alarmed but something didn't seem right. If things got any worse she'd have to take him to the hospital having no choice but to drive the truck.

"Hey boys, Daddy and I are going to the kitchen ok. Stay and watch bumble bee for me." She allowed her tone to be calm and soothing for them. Carl and Andre barely budged and she was happy for their TV addiction.

"Honey what did you put in the cake?" He was talking while he still could because his breathing was beginning to feel labored, the stumble to the kitchen almost knocked him off his feet.

The symptoms he were experiencing reminded him of an allergic reaction, it had been years since he had one but he knew the signs.

"Flour , sugar, butter, milk...the basics."

"Did you use nuts? I'm allergic to nuts." His speech was now slurred as she propped him against the kitchen counter to exam his face; his cheek appeared swollen and his eyes had grown red and puffy.

"No! I didn't use any nuts….oh God! I used almond flour. We didn't have the regular and I just assumed I had us all eating healthier. Rick that means you're allergic to almond milk too?" He nodded as best he could as he grasped her hand.

That's why they were two kinds in the fridge. She felt so stupid, she could've killed him.

"Call Maggie!" He was losing control of himself but his sister knew what to do.

She didn't hesitate. She dialed Maggie immediately and the pretty brunette answered the late night call after two rings.

"Maggie I made Rick a cake for his birthday with almond flour and almond milk. I didn't know he was allergic to nuts and now he's on the verge of passing out. I don't know what to do!" She didn't have the 4-11 on nut allergies and there was no time to do any research but she knew the allergy could get serious if not dealt with in a timely manner. Rick needed her and she had to take some kind of action.

The pain that flashed like lightning on his face was palpable.

"Shit! His allergy is really bad but he hasn't had one for ages! There should be an epinephrine shot in the cupboard. You always kept it on hand for Carl just in case but he doesn't seem to have it. If it's still there stick him in his thigh and get him to the hospital! We'll meet you there!" She didn't hear the tale end of Maggie's sentence, she just dropped the phone on the counter to do as instructed.

She scrambled like a scavenger digging for gold in the cupboards and random drawers, she even peeked in the fridge but found no epipens.

A decision was made, she grabbed Rick's keys and bundled up the boys, she secured them in the truck first, loading each of them with their iPads. "Daddy's not feeling so good guys so we're taking him to the doctor okay." The boys needed her strong and so did Rick. There would be time to swim in her tears while she meditated on her crime later.

She ran back to the kitchen after putting on her jacket and bore most of Ricks weight as she dragged his weak frame to the truck.

She smoothed his hair and kissed his forehead when he was in the front seat.

"Rick I'm so sorry." His pain was all her fault, all because she couldn't remember something so basic but yet so important. She was culpable for any fall out of this incident.

"Not. Your. Fault." He was on the verge of being a stand in for Darth Vader with the way he was sounding. She jumped into the driver's side in the juggernaut of a vehicle and once she backed out of the driveway she floored the gas.

There was no time to waste.

Guilt was taunting her, laying claim to the tiny bit of peace that lingered with her like an old friend.

What kind of wife didn't remember her husband was allergic to nuts?


	6. Building Bridges

"Your husband is gonna be fine Mrs. Grimes. You brought him here in sufficient time. We're just gonna monitor him for the next hour or so." Rick was content to relax and watch Michonne fuss over him by asking the attending physician twenty questions in succession over their birthday cake bind. Michonne didn't want to think about any of the traffic laws she had probably violated to get Rick to the hospital, she was just glad she got here without a scratch and with adequate time to have him checked out. No animals were hurt in the process so that was also a plus.

"Thank your Dr. Douglas." The African American doctor had a cheerful disposition and she appreciated his pleasant bedside manners despite the dire circumstances before them. Her arms remained crossed with one hand playing with her bottom lip as she contemplated how things had taken a turn for the worst. All because there was no control command on the plane she was flying. She was on autopilot, exactly like a robot. Her memory wasn't flexible and it was prone to errors; one was already too much for her to bear. This incident left her feeling defeated.

The doctor glimpsed at Rick's face one more time, the attack had blanched his face of its usual color from the onset but it was no longer a reddish hue but had relaxed into a cool undertone despite his cloudy eyes. He checked his pulse again and by the slight smile that appeared on the doctor's round face she deduced he was pleased with the count.

"It's back to normal. I'm just stepping outside to make another rounds. I'll be back in an hour."

The swelling on Rick's face had gone down considerably, his eyes remained with a reddish cloudy colour but it was not as intense as when the attack first started. Having been silent in an attempt to conserve his energy he reached for her hand in an effort to calm her. She met him halfway and held it affectionately.

"You know if you wanted me weak in your arms all you had to do was ask." He thought the mood needed some softening but his attempt was futile, her brows were still furrowed and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Hey...I am you know…" He said trying to give her a half smile despite his cheeks hurting from the swelling.

She returned with a reluctant one of her own that he could tell was forced, remorse wouldn't let her work through it.

"Good that is. Well...minus the puffiness and the bloodshot eyes."

He was making a joke, he was actually making a joke when she had almost killed him two hours ago. She couldn't laugh. "Forgive me if I don't find this funny." She slipped her hand from his and returned to her folded arms position appearing more closed off than before. "I'm a danger to you and our sons." It was all she could think about. She was hazardous to her entire family. If this happened to the boys she'd never forgive herself. She'd never get over being responsible for inflicting harm on her own children. Knowing she did it to Rick was eating her alive.

"Michonne there's no way you could've known." She needed to know he wasn't blaming her for his attack.

"That's exactly my point. I didn't know. I. Don't. Know. Rick I'm so sorry." Her hands found his messy curls and his eyes closed at her touch. Peace still existed when her hands touched his body. She had been more affectionate towards him within the past couple hours than the three weeks she had been home. "I know you are but this has probably been one of my most exciting birthdays. The boys are gonna be talking about this for days."

"How are you really feeling?"

"Honey I told you I'm fine. I'm just a bit thirsty." She wondered if he was aware he called her _honey_ more than once tonight _._ Was honey a thing and he was just getting back in a groove with it? Or did that commence when his immune system started overreacting. Either way she thought it was cute, especially if this was a rolled back curtain to their intimacy.

"I can get you some. Maggie and your Dad are outside with the boys. I'll go check on them." She made eye contact with him, communicating without words because _I'm sorry_ could only take her so far.

"Tell the boys I'm fine. I don't want them to worry. Especially Dre." His large frame covered the small treatment table, she wanted to take him home as soon as possible.

She walked to where the grey drapes were drawn ready to minister good news to her family but after a second thought turned back and walked towards Rick without purpose and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't out of place or awkward and it felt regular for her to do so. Her inclination to kiss him held her in a stray thought while her ticker slammed against her ribcage in an anxious, unsteady beat.

It was a quick peck that left him with incredulity but he did nothing to suppress the smile on his face. It wasn't a lingering kiss that held promise of passionate things to come but their powerful connection that he was certain would overcome amnesia was too strong to deny. He adjusted his position on the slightly small cot and allowed his thoughts to categorise the kiss as she continued to hold his gaze; it _was_ the kind of kiss that a wife gave a husband when she was leaving a room.

Ordinary. Regular. Perfect.

"I'll be back okay." Hopefully when she returned so would her composure.

"Okay."

For a guy who was almost in anaphylactic shock an hour ago he sure was smiling a lot.

… **.**

Rubbing her arms was more for comfort than any attempt to eradicate the coldness she felt as she stalked down the narrow but brief corridor of Brash General Hospital. Her panic-stricken state had subsided but remorse had settled in uncomfortably in her soul.

Maggie, Hershel, Dre and Carl occupied the one wooden bench in the stuffy family room waiting on the verdict on Rick's attack. Seeing the boys leaning on their grandfather and aunt, obviously sleepy as they were way past their bedtime saddened her. She glimpsed at her watch and grimaced when she realized it was ten thirty. The drama of the night ate the time up swiftly; she needed to get her family home.

What kind of mother brought her kids to the hospital on a school night? The dereliction added to her rising pile of deficiencies. Andre and Carl rushed to her side when they noticed her, she held them tightly; thankful that every morning they woke up they forgot her blunders from the previous day and was ready to wipe her slate clean and help her try again.

"Is daddy okay?" Andre asked, his sleepy eyes fighting to stay open.

"Daddy is fine honey, he just ate something...bad. Carl, honey are you okay?" She felt his cheek unsure of what she was really looking for. The doctor said symptoms varied from person to person.

"I'm good Mom. Can we take him home now?" She could see the concern in his baby blues but he was also exhausted from the events of the evening.

"You tell me if you aren't okay. Anytime you're feeling weird or sick or your tummy hurts. You tell me okay!" She made sure he heard the severity in her tone. She felt like she shouldn't be trusted to be around her own children. The tears pooled in her eyes again when she thought about failing them. Her job was to protect them, now she was beginning to rationalize needing supervision just to be around them. She was deflated, like a pair of lungs deprived of oxygen.

She rose to her shaky feet, tiredness latching onto to leg and limb. She had to fight through her enervation, Rick needed her.

"He's going to be ok." She let out a long breath, unaware she was holding it in. That's all she'd been doing for weeks as though there was a prize for concealing her true feelings. She was tired of trying to be brave when all she felt was addled and perturbed over not remembering her own husband.

Maggie saw her laceration and took the boys by their hands. "C'mon guys, let's go take a walk to the cafeteria." Michonne mouthed a thank you to her friend, she didn't know what she would do without Maggie.

"You look like you could use a seat." Hershel gestured to the now vacant spot next to him and she took it slowly. Her leggings and sweater looked out of place next to his well dressed frame but his presence at her side took the pressure off her a bit.

"I'm sorry. I don't seem to be getting anything right these days." She wondered if she wasn't trying hard enough, maybe she needed to put more unction in her attempts at familiarity.

"You got here on time. Can't dwell on nothin' else."

"Everything I do or say seems to put us even further away from each other." Even when she thought the exact opposite.

He looked at her ready to defy her words, "Even the the greatest distances can be bridged honey."

She thought maybe _honey_ was a Grimes' thing.

"I wish I knew how we worked before. Everybody implies we were like a well oiled machine but I feel like a broken down jalopy." She was a derelict almost.

"You'll find your groove soon enough. You have to give time, time. You two are wonderful together. People who are meant to be usually are for a reason." Hershel said it like he believed it and she wished she had faith enough to believe it too.

"I don't understand how I can be so different and make mistakes and he still looks at me like he still loves me. Every time." She _knew_ a look she didn't even remember receiving.

"Michonne, that's what love is. It doesn't dwell on the wrong, it's not supposed to. He does love you. One accident isn't gonna change that. Rick took vows. So did you. He's a man of his word." She never heard a father speak so confidently about his son.

"I just wish I could remember Hershel. I can't explain what it feels like; it's being trapped inside your brain and finding a door that could be your only escape and realizing no matter how much you try the door isn't going to open. And your stuck. This isn't how my life is supposed to be."

"Life is never easy Michonne."

"So this is a test?" So far Rick was passing with flying colors and she was failing every day.

"Life is always a test."

"I need to ask something of you. It's very important." There was a long pause as she wrestled with herself and her appeal. "Can Rick and the boys stay with you for a little while. Maybe until my memory returns." Thinking about overlooking Carl or Andre ill or in pain was rolling her gut but there was no hiding her dismay or her embarrassment on her lack of knowledge and insight on her family.

"Michonne-" Hershel held up his hand stopping her diatribe in its tracks.

"No hear me out!" Her hand shot out too and because she was nervous with her request she used her hands to further emphasize her point. "The boys aren't safe. What if this was Carl or Andre? There is so much I don't know about them." The tears she hadn't called for streaked her cheeks, each droplet being replaced by a fresh one. All of a sudden she was a cryer.

"And you think they're gonna be better off without you? Rick would never leave you. You don't know it yet but you two need each other." He turned to her on the seat they shared and held onto her shoulders, he realized she needed a bit of anchoring and decided to be the captain of the _SS Reality Check_ for her. "Listen to me, you've been through a traumatic experience with some severe ramifications throughout. It's expected you'd be scared. It's ok to be. But you've got a family behind you rooting for you and we're here to help. You can't do this on your own."

"Rick is in the hospital because of me!" She didn't think she had to remind him of that.

"So you made a bad cake and gave him an allergy attack. His own mother made the mistake once when he was fourteen. Rick would probably do it again if it brought you two closer." The tidbit helped her rigid posture relax.

"She did?" If the late Clara Grimes made the same mistake she didn't feel like she deserved a life sentence for her misdemeanor after all. Especially knowing Rick thought his mother was perfection.

"Yeah she did and she was just as remorseful as you but it didn't mean she was bad at loving him. Your brain isn't functioning at maximum capacity but it's still functioning but you can't let it lead you on this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're depending on the wrong organ. You gotta use your heart to lead you right now. Depend on your gut when it comes to your boys. You gotta trust it. And then hopefully the GPS in your brain will reroute itself and follow suit."

He was right. Her amnesia was the one thing in her way. She certainly couldn't trust her mind where Rick and the boys were concerned so why not listen to her heart? Why not trust her gut?

Her prodigious multi tasker had the current propensity to lead her astray. She couldn't be dependent on it. She couldn't focus on regaining lost memories right now, they could be flawed. Memories fade, details could get distorted. Wasn't that why eyewitness testimonies were found to be largely unreliable?

"You're right. I'm gonna try." She said about ready to take her father-in-laws advice.

He leaned back and folded his arm, a triumphant grin peeking below his grey mustache. "Good. Now do us all a favor. Throw away that damna cake recipe."

It was her first real laugh since Rick had been admitted and she realized how lucky she was to be a part of the Grimes' unit.

"Consider it done."

* * *

"The boys are asleep?" He asked with her timely reappearance in their bedroom.

"Finally. I had to listen to the whole recount from Dre about how you almost threw up in the truck."

"Yeah I have a feelin' he's gonna be telling everybody that one. You know they're gonna give us hell to get outta their beds in the mornin' right?"

"They're so tired Rick, maybe they should stay home with me tomorrow. "They've been through so much lately..." She was full of remorse for contemplating if her sons and Rick stayed with Hershel that things were going to be better for them.

"Whoa! A day off from school? Normally I'm the good cop to your bad cop." Her leniency led him to think she still harbored some form of contrition towards Carl and Andre because barring the world ending she never let them miss school arbitrarily.

"We'll see?" Her face was pouty with her request, he was a softie for her as much as she was being for the boys.

"We'll see." He confirmed settling deeper in the laundry fresh, grey patterned sheets. He adjusted the pillow to contour to the shape of his head as he allowed his whole body to fully face her. The moon that had chapperoned their drive back home still hung over them outside in a bright gaze casting tiny streaks of light into their room. The glow combined with the soft light from the lamp was enough to highlight her exotic, pretty face, creating a luminescent appearance that he couldn't help but stare at.

"Do you need anything else?" The bed dipped under her weight as she handed him a glass of water after some more fiddling in their walk in closet. He held her wrist with a gentle force before she could escape again. "I'd like for you to stay." He wasn't sure if her plan was for them to switch rooms tonight but she had lead him to their room when they got home. He had no control of the chipperness that grabbed his chest as he allowed himself to hope.

"I wasn't going anywhere." She had a strong desire to be close to him tonight and it had nothing to do with the guilt that had ceased her a few hours ago.

"You look a bit tired." She was doing too much too fast, almost forgetting she had been seriously injured a few weeks ago. He was going to put a stop on a few things soon and he knew she might fight him on it.

"I feel exhausted."

"When's your next appointment? I think we gotta talk to Dr. King about this prolonged nausea because your headaches have stopped right?"

"Yeah it has. Maybe you're right? Maybe it's the medication. You think he can switch them for me?"

"Have you seen my phone?" He wanted to make that new appointment now but it was after midnight.

"Think it's on the couch where we left it last night."

He began to ease of the bed but she stopped him with a hand to his back. "Let me."

"Michonne you're tired, I can -"

"Please Rick, let me...let me take care of you."

He was being pampered and he didn't know if she was overcompensating for the harm she caused him or that she was genuinely trying to make it up to him. By his rationalization it had to mean there was serious element of care and concern emitting from her and he couldn't help but bask in it. He would easily eat another piece of that ill fated cake if he knew she was gonna be touching him so much.

When she returned from downstairs his eyes were closed but he heard her fiddling in the bathroom. He ruminated on her sexiness when her petite form emerged from their bathroom in a white vest and pajama shorts and sat down on the bed almost as though she planned to stay. She didn't succeed killing him with the cake but she might just end him with a peek of the smoothest legs he had ever touched, especially considering he couldn't touch them presently.

"I um...I thought it would be ok if I….if I...stayed the night, just in case you need anything." She was willing but nervous. He looked suspicious yet happy.

"You don't have to."

"I want to. Please." She had been fighting the aggressive desire to be close to him a week now, cuddling on the couch was no longer sufficient for her. She was open to a new form of intimacy tonight before his nut allergy conspired against her. Hopefully now she could be brave and take some power back.

He dragged two of their many pillows to the middle of the bed creating a partition for himself. He didn't want her uncomfortable in her own space. He grew accustomed imagining her in his arms at night while she slept across the hall from him but her close proximity would prove he had no control over the magnetic force her body cast on him. In sleep he'd find a way to encase her in his arms as a possessive lover would.

She upped one on him and removed the barriers between them, symbolic of the way she was trying to remove the blockages in her head.

"There's no need." He hand met his in the middle of the bed and their handhold felt familiar yet fresh, a thrilling novelty. She felt safe and it was a feeling she could easily comprehend without doubt or fear. Rick made her feel safe.

The small space between them was enough for love to grow. At least she hoped so. He propped himself up on his elbows watching her get comfy on her side on the bed although she was inching towards the middle and the closer she drew to him the harder he grew in his boxers that was thankfully hidden under their blanket.

"You comfortable there?" He teased with a smile so bright even the sun would envy it. If her memories never survived she prayed she would always remember how he looked at her.

"Is this how we slept before?" It was an innocent question but the naughty images that plagued his mentals took over.

"Um...yeah. Mostly. We would always talk about our day and the boys and then see where the night takes us. Sometimes we slept, sometimes we... didn't." There was no way he could play it down completely. It was a watered down version of the truth; they would talk but they spoke while he rubbed her ass and until she fell asleep on his chest and they also had lots of sex.

"You think maybe we can do that then?" His eyebrows raised at her request. Was she asking him to have sex with her? He didn't know if he had the willpower to say no.

"I meant talk." She saw the wheels in his head turning and she sought to clarify.

"Yeah. Of course." He had been made out, it had been three weeks since they last connected and he missed the euphoric feeling being inside Michonne created but the last thing he wanted to do was rush things.

"Ok. So I've been meaning to ask you where do you go while you're waiting for my pottery class to be over?" She knew she wasn't waiting in the parking lot of Wildfire for two hours every Monday and Wednesday so she figured he kept himself busy.

"I actually have a project of my own goin' on."

She tilted her head to face him after finally finding a comfortable spot, her curiosity got the better of her. "Really? tell me?"

"It's just somethin' you've been after me to do for a bit, clean out the tool shed." The project had also been a great stress reliever for the other things that plagued his mind like the woman of his dreams forgetting they were soulmates. Not to mention the stresses that came with being the Sheriff of a diverse town. He couldn't exactly go to her like he normally would with the issues he was facing at work, which was a loss to himself because she was usually his sounding board. She knew he had a temper and his tolerance ran low for imbeciles. She was his center for instances like that and when he was stuck on getting results on something specific they usually came up with the best ideas together. With her memory being shot he thought it best to leave well enough alone. He was settling for good when he was accustomed to great. He hoped to have _great_ back soon enough.

Immersing himself in reorganizing the tools and all the unnecessary junk in the shed was what had sparked the idea for his new sub project and he hoped to see it come to fruition soon.

"Oh ok….do you think you could check the light on the porch? It flickers and I don't know how long it's been like that." Now he was getting deja vu because they had this conversation numerous times and he kept forgetting.

"I'll get to it this weekend okay. I promise." He sealed his oath with a kiss to her cheek before he even dissected the quick thought. Having her in his breathing space was making him nostalgic and for a minute he forgot that her entire history of him comprised of three weeks.

"Something tells me I'll have to remind you again." Her cute laughter filled the still room.

"You're havin' fun learnin' this pottery thing aren't you?"

"So much! Morgan thinks I'm a natural! It's such an exhilarating experience Rick. I wish you could feel it yourself. Morgan says pretty soon I'll be helping him teach the class." She was most exuberant when conversing about her class and her instructor whom she had grown fond of in the two weeks since she started.

"Morgan is the guy I met right? Seems a bit too zen for me." He wondered if she'd ever be that excited to talk about him again.

"Yeah. He's been through a lot. Lost a lot."

"We've all lost somethin'."

"You're right." She didn't need a reminder of what she had lost as there were constant everyday mementos for her. She didn't want to dwell too deeply on the ache of it all. There was enough pain to pass around as it was. She woke up to it everyday. She didn't want the light atmosphere between them to shift so she decided to ask questions that had been on her mind lately.

"Can you tell me about us? Tell me what we did together. Did we have plans for our future? Did we go out often or are we the indoors kinda couple?" It was the first time he heard her refer to them as a unit and it motivated him to speak freely.

"We're like best friends who happen to be in love with each other. I think that's what I miss the most. We do almost everything together, you and I can talk about everything and nothing and spend hours doing it. But as of recent because of our heavy work commitments we weren't able to spend as much time as we liked together so late night movies became a thing."

"So that didn't start when I came out of the hospital?" She wanted to do it her first night home because she was scared but also because it felt instinctual for her. She felt buoyant, something was still pulling her and Rick together.

"I was hopeful too that night. I still am." He was keeping hope alive even if he had to be the beacon of light guiding her home to his heart.

"Did we argue or disagree on things?"

"We disagree on a few things because you're stubborn and like things your own way but we never really argue. We deal with things together I think that's what makes us so different. You like to save arguments though." He laughed at the notion of her vault of arguments to be had. He'd be lying to say he wasn't glad some of them were forgotten.

"Saving arguments? Sounds interesting"

"Yeah one of em' was your shoe addiction. You've seen our closet right? Pretty soon I'll have to build you a new one."

"From what your sister tells me, you're the one feeding my addiction."

"You're addicted to shoes. I'm addicted to making you happy."

"That's sweet. I wish...I wish I knew what your view of me was like. I wish I could remember how great we are together. I'm sorry I don't know how to act sometimes."

"Hey...hey...look at me." He held her cheek in his palm and kept her mocha brown eyes in a lock of reassurance. "I don't want you to act. I want you to know what I know, that you and me are forever. Everything will come back when it's ready. I miss you but we can build on what we have here too." He would love her in all the forms she presented to him over the course of their life together because perfect recall or forgetfulness his heart still belonged to her.

He wanted to ramble about the things he missed but he would keep the thoughts playing on loop in his mind to himself. How could he ever forget her sweet, infectious laughter, her confidence in their marriage, the way she went full scale mama bear when anything or anyone touched their boys. He missed how she never considers there's a problem they can't solve together and how affirming her words are to his character. The list of things he missed were never ending and he could easily add a few things with every day that pass.

"I want that Rick." She nodded against his soft palm, trying to catalogue the way he felt on different parts of her body.

They morphed into a pregnant silence between them until he felt her fidget beside him, her butt came into contact with his hardened midsection and he sat upright in a brisk movement.

"Michonne." He groaned out, "What. Are. You. Doing?" If she was testing him, the hell, he was gonna lose.

She jerked away, turning to face him. "I'm sorry Rick! My shoulder is hurting a bit. I was just trying to get comfortable." His masculine scent was heating her up from inside and she was beginning to think maybe sharing a bed wasn't such a good idea after all because all she wanted to do was touch him.

"Do you want me to rub it for you?" The confident and determined tone in which the question was posed sounded suggestive; she didn't feel like he was asking to rub her shoulder at all; her clit began to pulse with need even though his sentence probably had no innuendo attached to it. She nodded unable to speak, her husband was a very attractive man and she didn't know where she got the strength to resist him before tonight. He was like a sin ready to be committed with his sexy, lean body.

"Rick?" His eyes were closed now as he leaned against the wall. "Are you asleep?"

"I'm definitely not asleep." His blue eyes rested on her, her breasts were about to spill from the thin vest she wore and he made up in his mind that he couldn't do this all night.

"Michonne, I'm feeling much better I think it would be better if I slept in the guest room." He left his Superman cape in the office and there was no way he could sleep with a living, breathing kryptonite in his bed.

"Why?" She said in a whisper, needing to hear his response to validate her next course of action.

"Because I can't be in this bed and not touch you." No alternative facts, no fake news just the wholesome truth.

"I'm not sure of a lot of things these days but I know I don't want you to leave Rick. Please stay." Her topsy turvy emotions made her feel like she was on an emotional rollercoaster but she'd rather feel something than be an emotional cripple; she would rather embrace her vulnerabilities.

As though he had a say in fulfilling her requests. He scooted back on the bed and circled her tiny waist with his strong arm, bringing her closer to his side. He was a greedy man because it wasn't enough but for tonight it would have to do.

"What's at the top of your list?" She asked trying to ignore the warning signals coming from her head. She put her brain on mute and decided to listen to her heart like Hershel said. It was speaking loud enough for her to get the message. Rick propped up on his elbow again, content to watch her, content to let his soul hum and his body relax in her close presence.

"List?" He was too busy exploring her from head to foot, like a desired painting he'd been chasing all his life that he forgot to listen.

"Things you want me to remember."

"The way we kissed." That was a no brainer.

"What was it like?" She didn't know what was drumming louder, her nerves or her chest.

"It's hard to explain." In his mind he knew what it felt like, like they were made for each other, like time stopped and the earth stilled when their lips met, like he had finally found the meaning of his existence. "Maybe it's better if I show you." The few inches of air between them was too much and before she could nod her agreement he descended to her lips with an intention to seduce her senses. His hand rested on her taut stomach and he felt her stiffen a bit. He rubbed her belly in an attempt to relax her. It worked because soon after he felt her hands latch onto his messy curls as she granted his tongue access into her wet mouth. He continued to taste the inside of her mouth, She was a library to explore and he could read her like a book but it was their _second_ first kiss and he didn't want to waste time with the things he knew about her body. He remained an optimist and chose to find things he hadn't discovered before, if that was possible.

She expected fireworks from the onset but the explosion was gradual, tempered even as they both tried to control the kiss from getting out of control. It had started with a small flame that evolved into an upsurge of detonation so intense it threatened to send her off the edge in a spiraling ball of need for the man who was holding her like she was the most precious thing on the earth.

He heard her moan into him as his tongue continued to sweep her mouth, his hands had wandered to underneath her vest and she didn't move it away, instead she snuggled closer to him. One of her hands still plied his curls at the base of his neck and her other hand was wrapped around him, caressing his back and his shoulders at intervals. He knew she was feeling his erection against her leg and it was taking the strength of his life to not move against her. Her legs parted slightly and he cried mercy. He had no choice but to ignore the keen demand from the sweetest place on earth because teasing them both with a peep show would be the death of him. Instead his nimble fingers moved up to her naked breasts and pebbled her already erect nipple. Another moan that encouraged him to continue in an open exploration of her beautiful dark mounds. He began to knead it in his palms and with the soft mewls emitting from her throat he knew she enjoyed it. He was turning her on and it was a dangerous game to play because he knew they could only go so far.

He paused in the osculation only for air and pressed his head against hers, "Michonne." She had never heard her name spoken with so much reverence before. "I missed you so much baby." The ache and tremble in his voice woke her out of her almost dream like state.

She was right in front of him and he was still missing her. She forgot, forgot she wasn't the old Michonne, the one he missed.

"I know Rick. I'm sorry. I can't. We can't. Not yet." Her body felt cold when his warm hand slipped from her breast.

At least they didn't lose the connection, he still kept her in his arms. "I know. I know. It's okay." It wasn't really okay but maybe they had built a bridge tonight. He kissed her cheek again softly and allowed her to settle on his outstretched arm. He tightened the blanket around them and took off the one remaining floor lamp on his side of the bed.

Their breathing was the only noise in the room as he thought about how monotone his birthday started only to be surprised by his wife and the boys and then rushing to the hospital. He laughed to himself thinking about the chain of events that led them to this time. He'd do it all again if he would get the same or better results.

He assumed her even breaths meant she had drifted off so he was alert when she called his name.

"Yeah baby." She was in his arms and that's what she was.

"You think now is a bad time for some ice cream?" She was desiring the very thing she always craved when they spent time on each other and she didn't even know it. He was most certainly keeping faith alive that the girl he fell in love with almost six years ago was just below the surface peeking out.

"No I think now is the perfect time." He eased off the bed to grant her wish. He kissed her lips, minus the lack of sex it felt just like old times.

"Rick!" She called before he could exit the room entirely.

"Two spoons!" She sat up in the bed trying to adjust her clothes, she wondered if all their kisses were so soul shaking and if that was just a kiss what would happen when they made love?

* * *

Most mornings he was up at the crack of dawn, maybe it was a force of habit growing up on a farm and having to feed the animals with his grandpa before the sun came up but he always felt better at the station starting the day with a clear head. He performed the usual tasks he volunteered out of love a few weeks ago; making a light breakfast consisting of eggs and toast with a tall glass of fresh orange juice. He had even stuck a single flower in one of his rather tall glasses in lieu of a vase and placed it on the breakfast tray. He wanted to add her pain killers to the mix but couldn't find the bottles maybe he left them in his room, he couldn't recall. The local news playing in the background as he fidgeted with the final touches of his fixings did nothing to deter his positive mood. Last night had been a break in their impasse, she opened up to him, apologized for her recent behavior and even told him how much she loved him. He maybe a glutton for punishment but he never stopped loving her not even when she divorced him.

The accident brought her under his roof again and he felt they had been given a second chance; he wanted to make amends for all the wrong ways he had loved her. Her vow of silence seemed to be breaking, he hoped she could reach out to her friends and family soon. Everyone was worried about her.

He approached her temporary room that should have been a nursery and entered. When he saw her position on the bed he grew concern Andrea never really slept on her back, somehow sleeping on her stomach was a reminder of her young childhood and it brought her a measure of comfort. Seeing her on her back with her mouth slightly open in the room where light had started to peek through made his blood run cold for no reason.

He walked to her bed and called her name in s soft voice, "Andrea, you gotta wake up for your pills honey. I'm about to go to work. I brought you breakfast. Toast and orange juice." There was no movement or response from her. He sat on the bed next to her and his heart ceased when he noticed a white film coating the rim of her mouth and lips. Two empty pill bottles; that was half just the night before fell on the ground and rolled to his feet almost like a taunt, telling him not to believe what was right in front his face.

Andrea had overdosed and everything from last night made sense now.

"No no no no no no no no no no no! Andie wake up! Andie wake up! Andrea! Wake up!" He couldn't find a pulse but it was hard to listen when his own heart was pounding away rapidly. He jumped up on the bed and was careful as he straddled her, bearing most of his weight on his legs.

He yanked his phone out of his uniform shirt pocket and fumbled as he tried to call the paramedics who said they'd be at his address in less than seven minutes. Seven minutes was too long and he recalled his police academy training and began some light compressions on her chest after listening for a heartbeat.

"C'mon baby. Stay with me Andie." He refused to let her die but he was powerless in his efforts to not panic.

 _Why_ kept repeating in his mind like a mantra he didn't have the correct response for. He felt the tears that tumbled down his cheeks and he began to pray; the first time in years. He wasn't going to give up on her, he wasn't going to let her die.

He heard the ambulance blaring in the distance and felt a second of relief. As soon as they came and took over he would call Rick.

He prayed the weren't too late.


	7. Catch and Release

**A/N: Hey everyone this update is a bit long and heavy on dialogue but it was necessary to set things up for the next few chapters. We're just about midday into the story. Thank you for all the likes and follows and reviews. I love hearing what you think even when I know y'all are upset. This update touches on suicide so for those who are sensitive to that kind of content you've been cautioned. Amnesia is a serious issue for some so I appreciate all of you who have stuck by me as I allow this story to unfold. Richonne is and will always be endgame! This chapter kicked me in the butt, but here it is as I nervously post the update.**

 **I look** **forward to hearing from you guys.**

 **Enjoy the update**

 **Sophia**

* * *

It had been a persistent struggle to get her out the bed followed by a debate on why she couldn't leave the house but Michonne didn't give her much say on the matter. She had a plan and it was supposed to benefit them both so she did her best to follow through with it. The car ride was silent, the Kia Sportage Rick had leased for her hummed quietly on the not so busy highway as they headed to their destination. She didn't feel like filling the cabin space with distracting music to drown out their private silent musings just yet. Silence had played its part with due diligence for too long but the quiet was needed while she got the words together to enhance her execution in reaching out to her friend.

They weren't great, they weren't even good but she hoped despite the foreboding grey clouds hanging in the sky that today could be the dawn of a new chapter in both their lives. She looked at Andrea as she stared listlessly out the window entirely absorbed as she gazed into an abyss of nothingness. It scared Michonne to see Andrea's internal wounds were just as significant, if not more so than her broken collarbone and broken ribs. By the looks of things only one set of wounds were being healed without delay while the others were leaving scars only Andrea could see and feel. She pulled into the dusty parking lot that held one other grey van and parked next to it. She took a steady breath as she prepared herself to face the music she herself had orchestrated.

Andrea turned her head slowly, concern mixed with a twinge of scrutiny echoing on her dull face. Her usual bouncy blonde hair was tied in an untidy bun to the back of her head. At least she had managed to pull on tights and a grey sweatshirt when Michonne told her she had no choice but to get in the car.

Michonne was relieved the image of her friend tied to the hospital bed five days ago after her incident was fading from her own rickety memory. Andrea looked almost like a prisoner with the zip ties used to restrain her to the bed and not so much like someone who had given up on life. It was a fact she had given up and the catalyst for her desperate attempts at escape scared Michonne to death.

"We're here. Can you come outside please? I promise we won't be long."

She was being compliant and Michonne was content to know she still trusted her despite the silence on their pain that played between them like an intense tennis match. She hoped despite the millions of thoughts mulling about in her head she could be calm enough to make her point clear. Lives and love were depending on it.

"Why did you bring me here?" Michonne understood behind Andrea's anger was a pain from shame and defeat so intense she rather not feel anything at all anymore.

"It's not far, just a couple more feet and we should be there."

They moved in and out of the tombstones that lined the medium sized grounds, home to so many lives stuck in an eternal capsule of death and unfulfilled potential it made her cringe. She churned the information Rick had sought for her in her head not wanting to miss the name among the many identical headstones that each held some varying degrees of decaying flowers placed by loved ones and well wishers.

"Michonne? Why are we in a cemetery?"

An intricately designed marble headstone caught her attention. There were bright pink, blue and yellow flowers that ran the length of the plot. Despite the many cracks of the other graves she could tell this slab was new. She paused in front of it and read the wording carefully, she had found who she was looking for.

Jim Hilton.

There was a dash on the head stone between the dates of his birth and death and it disconcerted her that your whole life boiled down to a dash on a stone; what was accomplished during your time on earth. The quality and essence of the life you lived, who you touched, who you loved, reduced to a dash on the tombstone between the timeframe you existed on the earth and the day you died leaving everything and everyone behind.

A stray gust of wind lifted the dead leaves that lay faithful on the ground around them, tossing them far away from their feet, it felt like they were watching them in slow motion as they gained a temporary home. Life itself was easily blown like the leaves on the ground; here one minute and the next they were gone.

"I wanted to show you the person who did _die_ that night is here, his name was Jim Hilton. He was drunk that night of the accident because his girlfriend had just left him and he couldn't take the heartache. He lived with his parents, had no kids, just a love of fishing on the weekends and he was a regular blood donor." She wasn't trying to eulogize him but he was something to someone and he deserved some respect even if his own death could've been avoided by not drinking and driving.

She couldn't recall the hellish nightmare of that night and she didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse but Andrea could and she had to try to help her out of her gloom and the swirling vortex of depression she had taken up residence in.

She inhaled a deep breath and continued not wanting to lose her momentum, "But he's dead Andie and you and I are alive and breathing. I know it's not the easiest thing right now…..being alive...living when there's so much pain around you but you're not alone. There are people who love you. Who want to take care of you." She was preaching to herself too but she had a good support system.

They stood side by side as they peered down at the rows of tombstones rising up from the well maintained grass like an army without power.

"I tried not to think about him. I didn't even want to know his name. Somehow knowing would make it all the more real. His family….." Andrea's sentence dropped off as the tears she had been staving off began to full her eyes. It was bad enough she had survivor's guilt but she had conducted her own insurrection with a justification that everything was her fault.

"Tell me why." Michonne's voice trembled as she held her hand willing her to have the courage to say what she'd been holding in for weeks now.

"I was scared and tired. I've been so depressed even before the accident. I don't know what to do anymore. I've ruined lives with my selfishness Michonne. If you hadn't come to get me that night the accident wouldn't have happened. This guy wouldn't have been dead and your memory wouldn't have been lost and everything wouldn't be so damn messed up. Rick hates me, as he should. And Shane...Shane feels obligated to me right now…."

"Shane loves you!"

"You can't possibly know that."

"The girls say so."

"The girls…" she emitted a dry laugh, they were also on the list of people she had placed on mute because they were more people she had disappointed with her self centered behavior.

"Shane wasn't supposed to find you barely breathing was he?"

Andrea shook her head slowly not even trying to deny how desolate she felt about her own life or what was left of it.

"Have you ever preferred sleeping to being awake because being awake is like facing a living nightmare?" She didn't want to admit how dejected she was at first, until it absorbed her whole being, making everything seem unendurable. "Blackness waits for you on either end. I can't describe it. It's like jumping from a burning building knowing either way, stay or jump you're gonna die… not necessarily that you want to."

It wasn't a cry for attention. Michonne's blood ran cold, Andrea planned on being dead.

"Did...did therapy help at all with what you're feeling?" She could barely form the words, she was too choked up.

"The psycho place? I did what they wanted me to do for four days without getting tranquilized. There was a woman there who acted out on purpose just to get a shot because all she wanted was some sleep. Can you imagine? That was enough for me." She shrugged the memory off and inhaled before she continued. "Was I supposed to have some kinda epiphany? Some sort of life affirming catharsis? I don't know. That never came."

"How do you feel now?"

"The pain is still there." Andrea didn't need a reminder, the pain had become part of her. She too took another deep breath as she decided to finally clue her best friend in on a piece of the missing puzzle to her mental and physical exhaustion. "The room that I'm staying in at Shane's house is a nursery…. _was_ supposed to be a nursery. We bought a few pieces of furniture for it already. Shane was so excited. Now it's all mostly stuffed into a closet. I told Shane to give it away. But he kept a few things in that room." Her vision blurred as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks, dripping onto her sweatshirt. Talking about it wasn't easy but she needed to surrender her burdens and maybe the graveyard was a good place to do it.

The hairs on Michonne's arms stood tall. "Andrea…."

"It started off as any other day. One minute I was pregnant, the next I wasn't. It broke me. It broke Shane. It broke us. That's why I couldn't sleep over at Shane's that night after our argument. I'd be in that room literally sleeping with my biggest failure. Just more to add to the list. So yeah I wanted to be dead. So maybe Shane could move on and maybe I could too. But I realize now that it's just more of me being selfish. I'd trade you you're memory loss in a heartbeat Michonne because there are things I want to forget and there are things I wish you could remember."

"I'm so sorry." She gave her a one handed hug and leaned her head against Andrea's. "I didn't know. Did I know this? Did you tell me?"

"We didn't tell anyone. It was early and we liked the idea of it being our secret you know.." she shook her head and shrugged away the sadness.

"You were going through the pain of a miscarriage all alone?" The thought turned her gut.

"I was so excited to tell you guys. It was supposed to be a big surprise. Maggie was pregnant, you and Rick were trying. Sasha was engaged, Rosita took a leap of faith and started dating Daryl. I was gonna complete the circle. We were all finally going to get what we had been working so hard for. The modeling contract came up soon after and I took it. It was the easy way out I know but it was my way of numbing the pain of seeing Shane hurt over the loss of our baby not realizing he was losing me too. The money helped. I could drown out everything and pretend I didn't need him but it was never easy to leave I just made it look that way. Now the contract has ended prematurely and I have nothing." She let out a mocking laugh into the breeze. "No job, no husband no baby. But I do have guilt though. Guilt and shame for how I allowed my life to damage yours. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself Michonne. Pretty messed up huh?" She sniffed and wiped her tear streaked face with a trembling hand. It wasn't all hyperbole she meant every word. Michonne dug into the pocket of her jacket and handed Andrea two plys of the bounty she had grabbed off the kitchen counter before she left the house. Almost like a premonition had held her into thinking tears were inevitable today. Andrea dried her tears with the napkin and came out looking almost new. Too bad there wasn't a quilted, quicker picker upper for heartache too.

"You're not wrong for feeling the way you're feeling." She needed her to know that. There wasn't a time frame for grief and the stages were often experienced in no particular order. "You're entitled to your pain. I just want you to heal from all this pain." She wanted that for herself too hopefully in helping Andrea she was helping herself.

"The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it." She said it with the authority of someone with autonomous experience on the matter.

"Despite of it or maybe even because of that pain you deserve to be happy Andie. Please don't think otherwise."

"How can you say that after all I've done? Five years of your life gone Michonne, because of me. Yet you're still here reaching out, trying to hold me up because I can't do it myself." More tears escaped and it was an infectious attack as Michonne reluctantly began crying too.

"Because I love you and I don't want you to die Andrea."

Andrea latched onto her hand with a firm grasp, "Michonne, I'm so sorry about that night. I'm sorry I called you. I'm sorry you lost your memory and I still have mine. It just isn't fair! Can you ever….can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't blame you." The graveyard they stood in was no match for the graveyard that was her heart where her vandalized memories lay dormant but she didn't blame Andrea for her loss. She needed to release her from the burden she had been carrying, it was weighing her down to her own detriment.

Maybe now Andrea could see a small light at the end of her tunnel and realize she didn't have to stay in the darkness forever.

"I forgive you." She knew that love couldn't exist without forgiveness and while the past couldn't be changed a little hope could alter the future.

"Thank you." Andrea said the words while a deep breath escaped her lungs, she felt a lightness in her body she hadn't felt in months. It was like a trapped breath of air waiting to be released at the right time. Sometimes you don't feel the weight of the thing you've been carrying until you experience the weight of it's release.

Michonne was trying to apply that same measure of hope with Rick, she was making herself available to learn all that she could about him. Spending time with him, the little that they got was giving her a deeper appreciation for the man who was her husband. Even if she couldn't say she loved him she was beginning to care deeply for him. He was protective of her and the boys and he was a great father to their sons. He enchanted her without effort, he was sexy and arresting and she tried her best to not give into him just yet. They had so much fun together, sometimes he made her laugh so hard she would end up in tears. He was trying his endeavor best to make the transition of no memories into a family full of them easier for her and she appreciated him so much more for helping her along the way.

She wished it was enough though, she wished it was a fair trade, a balanced ledger instead of the harsh reality that she had red in hers. He would never tell her to her face but he was looking for her, for _Michonne_ ; the one before the accident that never questioned his judgement, the one that stood by his side when he made a hard decision. He was looking for his best friend, his lover, his sounding board and currently she was none of those things to him and she didn't know how long his valiant efforts would sustain him or even if it was supposed to.

"It's hard with Rick sometimes. He tries so hard and lately we've been having some good days but I see that hopeful stare he has sometimes like he's just waiting for the old me to pop up any minute now and say _Honey I'm home!_ But it isn't going to happen and I think...I think he's getting a raw deal." She didn't have an effective plan of action to deal with the drawbacks that were sure to come sooner rather than later. He had the patience of Job, but he was no old testament character. His patience would run out and then what was she supposed to do?

"Rick is the real deal!" Andrea turned to her quickly and laid a reassuring hand on her upturned palm.

Andrea was glad Michonne was sharing her pain too, that she still trusted her with it. She was still needed by the people she cared about most. Maybe if she was given a second chance Shane could trust her with his pain too. It was all the sobering up she needed. She had plenty of making up to do and she couldn't make amends if she was dead.

"You're safe with him Michonne. You guys put each other first in everything. You don't fight or argue. He's great with the boys. You love each other very much." With the effort and convincing tone of her voice Michonne wanted to tell her she should think about selling insurance because she latched onto every word wanting to feel the power behind them but it never came.

Instead she nodded and pressed her palms over her face as she spoke. "It'll happen soon." She didn't know if she was referring to a breakthrough in her marriage or her memory, perhaps it was both.

"It has to." Andrea said.

"You said something back there...Rick and I were trying?" The thought crossed her mind a second time. They had been making plans but Rick didn't tell her about this baby making one and she wondered why.

"Yeah you both wanted a baby. Said it felt like the right time for you guys."

She obviously wasn't pregnant, on her recall she didn't see any birth control or condoms in their bedroom or bathroom; her curiosity got the best of her. She was going to bring up this baby making subject tonight.

"Michonne you have to listen to me. You love Rick. He's a good man. You had a good marriage. Don't let your mind tell you otherwise."

"I just need it to come back Andrea. He deserves that. He deserves to have the woman he fell in love with. Not this shell walking around trying to fit into a life she can't remember building with him!" It was debilitating her to no end, she just didn't say it to anyone.

"I want you to continue with therapy. It could help you." Andrea was taking the reigns, they had lives to live and work to do. Her epiphany wasn't too late.

It was easier to criticize the things she didn't understand but she had a feeling therapy might be a good place to start to heal. They all needed some form of healing.

"Like how you stopped going to your sessions? Tell you what, if you attend yours I'll go back to mine. Deal?"

"Deal." The two renewed friends shook on it, both prepared to hold up their end of the bargain. With their latest revelation and a purge of their thoughts, hearts and minds it was time to leave the one place they didn't belong.

As they made their way back to the parking lot Andrea had a tiny suggestion.

"Mich, could we come back soon with some fresh flowers for Jim?" She wanted to remember his name, his untimely death wouldn't be pointless. Her life was about to change because of it.

"I think that would be nice." Michonne smiled flashing her white teeth just as an intense craving came across her taste buds. "You know what I have a knack for right now? Apple pie!" Her eyes brightened and Andrea could see the elation from her peripheral.

She matched her smile with one that was not as wide but just as happy as they communicated without words like old times.

"Carol's!" They said in unison as they entered the vehicle.

* * *

 **April 2013**

" _I think I can watch you eat all day long." He was looking at her in detail, content to watch her devour the beef burger she had been craving four days now. The toppings of cheese, bacon and avocado was built specifically to her perfection. There was a sense of masculine pride that overtook him knowing he was the man to fulfill her desire._

" _Oh God Rick. That burger was so good. You know you're beginning to spoil me."_

" _Beginning too? I think that train left a long time ago, don't you think gorgeous?"_

 _She laughed like he had told the greatest joke in the world. "I just wish I had a -"_

 _Rick pulled out a Big Kat bar from behind his back proud that he anticipated her needs before she even spoke it. She grinned like a fool at the surprise, she didn't know where he hid it. There was an enticing grin spreading across his charming face and she took the chocolate snack from him after he held it tightly for a few seconds._

" _Thank you." She kissed him lightly thinking he was too good for her. It was her third time over at his house. School was going to be over in one month's time and she and Maggie had plans to move back to King County. In the interim Rick was happy to ferry her between his home and her temporary one in the city making the two hour drive as often as he could. She was spending the entire weekend with him this time and she was nervous about what she wanted to happen this weekend in as much as Carl was spending the weekend at the farm._

" _I actually miss the little slugger." She was pass the attachment stage with Carl he had crawled his way into her heart and she hoped he stayed there forever._

" _He misses you too. He can't get over how you helped him with his volcano project. Did you really have to call his teacher to change his grade Michonne?" It was his guilty pleasure to see her go mama bear over his kid._

" _Hey! My boy worked very hard on that volcano. He deserved better." Even though their volcano had some technical difficulties erupting on demand._

" _Well she certainly got the message."_

" _Thanks for coming with me to the doctor today. I'm sorry that he assumed...you were the father." It had been an awkward moment for her but Rick didn't correct Dr. Chang and neither did she. She already felt bad that she wished the baby in her belly belonged to Rick. Mike had been removed from her heart long before his death and while she knew their son would probably bear a strong resemblance to him she hoped he somehow inherited Rick's loving heart._

" _It's fine." He wanted to be her baby's father but he didn't want to scare her. The desire building daily inside of him to take care of Michonne and her son was becoming too strong to deny._

" _It's good to know we're healthy as a horse and he gave me permission to fly." There was no way she was missing out on their annual girls trip. This year they were going to Barbados and she wasn't going to miss the experience of sun, sea and sand with her favorite people. As an added bonus they decided at last minute to invite their significant others and she couldn't wait to go on this highly anticipated vacation with Rick._

" _I love seeing you this happy." He caressed the smooth plains of her face. Her closeness was beginning to affect him in a way where his jeans was suddenly too snug for him._

 _He didn't want to rush her on their intimacy, for the most part he was satisfied with how far they had already taken things in the short time they had known each other but he wanted to be inside her, to feel her shatter in his embrace, he was trying not to go full caveman on her._

 _She sat up on the couch and faced him as much as her pregnant frame would allow._

" _You are responsible for that Rick. Meeting you and getting to know you and Carl has really been a turning point in my life."_

" _I feel the same way. Michonne I'm in love with you. I want to be with you forever." His words scared her because she didn't think happily ever after was in the cards for her but she was staring at forever and it had the richest blue eyes she had ever seen._

 _The reciprocation of that love was at the back of her throat dying to come out but it wasn't just her she had to think about when she gave her heart to Rick. It was her unborn child she had to consider and how his birth would affect her life along with Rick and Carl's._

 _He brought his arms around her midsection, he licked his lips and stared down at her plump ones giving up the task of being subtle in the exploration of her heavenly body. She wore a floral off the shoulder dress that showcased every curve and contour of her delectable pregnant form. His dick had stiffened the minute she eased into his car three hours ago._

 _He kissed her, tracing her lips with his tongue at first and then plunging inside with the ease of someone who specialized in toe curling kisses._

 _Michonne pulled away breathless to his welcoming assault, the current between them was charged and she'd been trying all evening to ignore the thunder to her lightning. Now that she had witness the force of desire for her on his face, in his touch, in his kiss she couldn't be without it._

" _Make love to me Rick." The words slipped from her tongue as she began to unbutton the denim shirt he wore. Her fingers trembled but she was determined to let him know how much she wanted him._

 _He answered her by reaching for the hem of her dress and lifting the light material over her extended arms leaving her in her matching red panty and bra. His hand rubbed the crotch of her underwear which he found wet with her wanting. He wanted to make sure she was just as turned on as him._

 _He descended to her lips again but she halted him with a hand to his naked chest._

" _I'm not...my body is…" he kissed her vulnerability away. She was timid about the drastic changes her body had gone as her pregnancy advanced and he was quick to reassure her she was the sexiest woman on the earth and he had eyes only for her._

" _I think you are." He kissed her earlobe. "The most." he worshipped her slender neck. "Beautiful woman." He placed cascading kisses across her collarbone. "I have ever met."_

 _He heard her moan under his ministrations and his dick jumped at the sexiness of her arousal._

" _Rick please, I want you so bad." It was a mixture of pregnancy hormones and an untameable need to have him possess her body as much as he had already possessed her heart._

 _He separated from her to rid himself of his jeans and boxers and she felt a chill on her body. Rick tugged at the straps of her bra and her two full breasts spilled out of them and he tasted her there. Her hands grabbed onto his hair with the force of his suckling. He licked and tasted her aroused nipples as his hand found his way into her underwear._

" _You're so wet baby. You wet for me Michonne?" he kissed his way back up to her lips talking to her in a gentle tone._

" _Yesss." Was all she could have dragged out._

 _He stayed so close to her that they were murmuring into each other's mouths as there hands discovered places they had been itching too for a while._

 _She circled his hard length and almost begged him to take her right there. She was dripping on his hand as he fingered her. He lay her down on the couch as he positioned himself between her legs, she was spread eagle for him and he almost came when he saw her pussy glistening under the light from the lamps._

" _God, you're so beautiful baby. Tell me what you want."_

" _I want your dick inside me Rick." At this rate she would die from the anticipation alone. Still nothing prepared her for his thickness of the steel like feel of him as he entered her. Both their breaths hitched in wonderment._

 _Rick paused above her, "Jesus." He had felt the edge of heaven being inside her. She felt every muscle in his back as she encouraged him to move._

" _Michonne I want this to last but I don't know if I can go slow." Her pussy was holding him in a vice grip. Being inside Michonne was going to test his endurance for certain._

" _I don't want slow Rick. What I feel for you isn't slow. It's hard and fast and all encompassing. That's what I want."_

 _He lost it at the potency of her words as he thrusted inside of her, hard enough to move her but still careful of the round mound between them. His hand caressed her belly and he placed a kiss there as they moved in tandem. He kissed her lips again, this time it was desperate and she tried to curve her whole body into his as far as her baby bump would allow._

 _She was being swept away by the powerful pleasure of his pounding and she met him at every surge letting him know she was on the edge just as he was._

" _Yes Rick! Ooohhh your dick feels so good."_

 _She clenched his ass with a firm grip and tried to wrap her legs tighter around him._

" _You feel amazing baby." He took his hand and began to rub her bud as her juices continued to leak on his dick._

 _In and out. In and out. In and out, she was becoming undone at his expert loving. She felt her orgasm building in her toes, creeping its way up to her core._

" _Oh my God! That's it Rick. Yesss! I love you Rick. I love you so much." Her breathing was ragged as she shuddered under him coating his pink member with her sweet juices_

" _I love you too baby." He pumped inside her a few more times before he emptied inside her moist pussy. His climax caught him in a steady onslaught of an intense soul shattering euphoria. His heartbeat was so ragged he thought he was going to collapse. He never felt such a potent connection to someone before._

" _You good?" He kissed her cheek as he slipped from inside her and pulled her against his chest as he made them more comfortable on the sectional couch that dominated his living room._

" _I think I can stay like this forever is how good I am." She was so much more relaxed when he stroked her belly with his perfect fingers the way he was doing now._

" _Say the word and I'll make it happen." She mumbled in response as her eyes drifted close. Sleep and satiation helping her to succumb to her physical exhaustion._

 _He wasn't having cheap conversation, he had plans for them and if everything went according to plan their lives would change forever when they touched down in Barbados in a few weeks._

 _He couldn't wait._

* * *

Her accelerated thoughts had subsided to a speed limit her brain could handle. Her limbs that had been previously filled with tension and tightness had eased up considerably and felt functionable again.

Her heart was still going at it strong, like a hamster in a wheel but at least she didn't feel as nauseated as she was an hour ago. Her head had began to pound which threw her because she couldn't remember the last time she got one of her headaches, she forgot how intense they could be.

She knew her boys were safe because they were with Rick but nothing could've prepared her for the gripping panic that possessed her mind and body when she drove to their school like any ordinary Friday to pick them up and they weren't there.

She scourged the large school yard for fifteen minutes before she felt like she was going out of her mind. She pictured them kidnapped, hurt or bleeding calling out her name desperately and she couldn't get to them. If it wasn't for Carl's teacher, Ms. Diane coming to her rescue by informing her Rick had picked them up as soon as the bell rang she didn't know what would have stopped her head from exploding. After fighting a losing battle calling Rick's unanswered phone she called Maggie to see if she knew about their whereabouts. Maggie wasn't certain why Rick picked them up but she assuaged her concerns that the boys were okay in their father's care.

She managed to drive herself home hoping they would be there by the time she arrived but they weren't. More vain attempts were made at getting a hold of Rick who's phone was either dead or stolen. She just needed to know where they were and what they were doing and why he couldn't let her in on his plans.

… **.**

She was crumpled on the couch watching one of Andre's cartoons on the overly large, flat screen TV that rested against the wall in the heart of their home when she heard Rick's truck pull in their tiled driveway. The ship wheel clock that hung on the peach colored wall indicated it was 5:30 pm. She gathered herself and patted her face where the tears had dried hoping he wouldn't notice but when it came to her there wasn't much that Rick missed.

She padded to the door to greet her sons before they could rush inside.

"Mom! I scored a goal today!" Andre beamed as he hugged her tightly.

"Really baby? That's amazing!" She hugged him in return, it was a little too long and a little too tight but she couldn't help it. Carl followed with a hug of his own and she intentionally gave the boys her undivided attention as Rick brought in a dirty looking soccer ball along with the boys' school bags. He had changed into one of his famous V-necks and a blue Nike track pants with a pair of Nike sneakers. She was a bit unnerved that he wore the athletic getup like a model for a sporting company and she was trying not to drink him up like she was a wanderer in the dessert when she was upset over his lack of communication.

"I'm starving mom." Carl said as he rubbed his tummy.

"I ordered pizza. You and your brother go hop in the shower." She directed them up the stairs taking a deep breath as she prepared for her unavoidable conversation with Rick.

"Michonne. You alright?" He saw her first and there was no mistaking her distracted disposition.

"Where's your phone?" She asked returning to the living room away from the stairway where their voice could carry.

"It's in the truck. The battery was dead. Only realized on my way home when I was trying to call you." He trailed behind her picking up on her aggravated tone.

"I went to the school today to get Carl and Dre. I didn't know you had taken them Rick I damn near lost my mind."

It was clear now why she was upset. His remorse was instant at his lapse in memory. Michonne wouldn't be aware of their Friday plan.

"Dammit I forgot you don't...I'm sorry babe. I took it for granted that you…..I pick the boys up from school the last Friday in the month and take them to the park to spend some time with 'em." It completely slipped his mind that she wouldn't remember their ritual.

It was a fairly recent addition to their routine, all in an effort to spend more time with the boys as his role and tasks as Sheriff kept expanding, stretching his tenacity in the process.

"I called your phone twelve times. I left seven voice messages."

"My battery died. I was out on meetings all day. Returned to the station just in time to leave to get the boys. One thing led to another and I forgot."

Truth was he had forgotten that she did.

It was so easy to believe they were the way they used to be the past few days where they lay in each other's arms at night and kissed like the happy married couple they were. She was perturbed and by her slight puff of her eyes he could tell she had been crying which made him feel ten times worst for his blunder.

He stepped to her to fold her into his arms and she stepped back putting more distance between them. His neutral countenance collapsed at her standoffishness.

"You could've told me your plans at breakfast and save me the heart attack Rick."

"It wasn't intentional Michonne, I honestly forgot!"

"That's not the kind of thing you forget!" The retort shot out of her mouth like if she pulled the trigger to a loaded gun.

His face hardened where it was soft before, his eyes remained fixated on her. The last thing he wanted to do after the long day he had was disagree on such a trivial issue but she was being belligerent and he didn't know if it was intentional or not.

"You have a metric for things that are ok to forget?"

"I'm sorry it came out before I could -" Her apology dropped off as shame crept over her skin from her outburst.

"Or does having actual amnesia give you some kind of immunity to the list?"

She didn't answer his question, she didn't want to get into it with him over this but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't upset.

"Answer me please Michonne because I wanna know if it's okay for you to forget everything about us but I can't get one strike?"

She heard the hurt in his voice and everything came crashing down on her at once. Her thoughts bombarded her like an African elephant in a stampede. "That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair." He was beginning to see that more and more because the woman that he loved behaved like a complete stranger sometimes.

"I thought something had happened to them at first. I felt so helpless not knowing."

"I made a mistake and I'm sorry. The last few days made me feel like things were normal again." Normal for him was still strange for her.

She remembered their conversation from two nights ago when he confirmed what Andrea told her, they were trying for a baby. It dawned on her how _normal_ and perfect the conditions probably were in their marriage for them to be at that place. Maybe it was a good thing she wasn't pregnant, she couldn't see how bringing a baby into their fragile union would be a good thing at this point.

He was doing his best with her fallen memories; trying to smoothen things out for her by leaving post it notes in the pantry, in the refrigerator and in the boys bathroom. He was leaving crumbs to their runnings as a family so she wouldn't have much questions. They slept in the same bed but never made love and he was frustrated too but he was keeping hope alive for the both of them. He had to.

Michonne was grateful for his consideration and she couldn't do any of it without him but she was still trying to adjust to a life she couldn't remember.

He peered down at her as he exhaled, his hand resting on his hip while he got a glimpse of her inner turmoil. It was painful to observe what was left of his wife when she let her thoughts consume her like this. It was hard to reach her when the road map back to her heart was beginning to blur.

She looked up at him, her eyes were pure topaz tinted with a defining brownish impurity that made them perfect in his sight but her stare was naked. He missed that look in her eyes; the one that told him he was the one and only man for her.

"It's okay." She wished she knew the sensible rules to apply to their sudden impasse but her logical inconsistency made her feel irresponsible with her feelings. "I'm sorry if I overreacted. Once I knew the boys were safe I was okay." She didn't mean to highlight his infraction especially when she was so much in deficit as it was. She wanted to embrace their relationship for what it was; a bond predicated by trust but there were stumbling blocks in her way.

"It won't happen again." He drew her into his arms without waiting on her approval. He kissed the top of her head where her locks lay neatly and he felt her relax somewhat.

"I'm sorry. I was scared."

"I know baby. It's my fault and I'm sorry. Let's put it behind us okay." She nodded against his chest as she inhaled his masculine scent. She tilted her head up and he took her lips in a greedy open mouthed kiss. He held her waist and dived into her mouth, his tongue mating with hers like she was the last woman on earth. It was a give and take and her body's response to Rick's touch made her a wanting woman but there was a void between them that no amount of kissing could fill.

There was a knock on the front door. Michonne broke away certain it was the pizza guy, she was glad for the distraction. She walked to the kitchen to grab the money set aside on the counter while Rick answered the door.

"Jessie? What are you doing here?" The blonde woman at the door was not from Pizza Plaza.

Michonne didn't know who she was or if she was supposed to but the lady knew Rick and she was smiling at him like a giddy school girl when Michonne walked up behind him.

"Rick, I'm so sorry to interrupt your evening. Oh! Hi Michonne! I've been trying to reach you all afternoon. The file that the mayor wants sent out tonight never saved on my flash drive so I was wondering if I can get yours so I can send it out so I don't lose my job. I'll return it tomorrow." It was the comfortable hand Jessie placed on Rick's arm that made Michonne uneasy. Her ramble was unnerving too and she was staring at Rick like he held all the answers to life's questions. She had this deep set, overly expressive eyes and Michonne simply couldn't warm up to her.

"My phone died. Let me get it for you." Rick left the two women standing at the threshold of the room. The blonde woman who was wearing a cream suit that was a size too small for her form smiled at Michonne. "You probably don't remember me. I'm Jessie Anderson. Mayor's secretary. I've been working closely with Rick for a while on the drug campaign. I'm so sorry about your accident."

"You know about my accident?" She couldn't explain the tenseness that over took her body when Jessie began to speak.

"It's a big town but not that big. You're the Sheriff's wife, everyone knows."

"I didn't realize…"

"I know things are difficult. Rick told me how much he's trying to help you. You've got a good one on your hands, not a lot of men would do what he's doing. I hope you get your memory back soon." Her words didn't feel so much like a compliment as it did a caution and she didn't know how that made her feel.

She didn't get a chance to appropriately respond as Rick joined them handing over the silver drive to Jessie. Michonne placed a possessive hold on his arm as she brought her body closer to his without even processing the meaning behind the gesture.

"Thanks Rick you've saved my life. Again! I guess I'll see you in the morning. You two have a good night." She flipped her box dye blonde hair and walked down their driveway to her car.

Rick closed the door and turned to Michonne who was staring at him with open concern.

"What is it?"

"Who's Jessie? And how many times have you saved her life?"

"She's exaggerating that's what Jessie does?" He laughed it off oblivious to Jessie's open admiration and Michonne's curiosity on the extent of their friendship.

"She seems to know an awful lot about us."

"I'm the Sheriff. It's hard to keep things a secret around here." He wondered if she felt threatened by Jessie's sudden appearance. She never had before.

"I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"This isn't about anyone else but us, so say what you wanna say."

"I know you wanna talk to me about things from before and you can't. I can understand if you miss that." She hoped he didn't find comfort in cream colored suits and damsels in distress.

"It's not like that Michonne. I'm grateful you're here at all trying for me."

"Well it's hard to pretend I'm aware of everything but I do try for you."

"I would never ask you to do that."

"I don't know, sometimes it feels like it's the role you want me to play."

"So what about the last few days? Were you acting? Were you pretending with me?"

"No I wasn't pretending. I felt everything. I wanted to feel it. But nothing much has changed with me Rick. My mind is still cloudy on -"

"Me right? Your mind is still cloudy on me." There was a nervous pause between them.

"Answer me please."

"Yes. I can't get outta my head sometimes."

He held the bridge of his nose, "You know you keep talking about your brain and your mind but have you ever stopped since this all started and listened to your heart?"

"Rick, It's not as easy as you're making it sound. You don't understand half of what I'm dealing with." Sometimes it was a struggle to get out of bed.

"Then make me understand Michonne, talk to me. You talk to everyone else but me." She knew he was referring to her pottery class but sharing came with the territory.

"I talk to everyone else? What about you Rick? Who do you talk to? Jessie?"

"You're really gonna go there with me Michonne? Jessie?" He brushed off her shade because he knew Jessie was a non factor. "I want us to work this out, I want you comfortable in your own home."

"Why do you try so hard? Nothing will ever be the same between us if I don't ever regain my memory from the last five years, if I don't remember our life together."

Rick kept telling himself to be patient, it would pay off in the end but he didn't want to continue tricking himself into believing in a fantasy.

"Because I love you more than your memories!" His pride spilled on the floor but he didn't care. He valued their relationship more than his ego.

"I'm not who you want me to be right now."

"You're still who you are at your core."

"You don't know that! Whatever you want right now I can't give it to you." It pained her to say it.

"I want you. I want us."

"I can't give you _us_ right now Rick."

"You aren't even giving it a fair chance!" He spat the words out and she jumped.

"How long have you been holding that one back?" Her defensive stand was a protracted reaction, she was still trying to work through Jessie's intrusion.

"I just feel like you haven't been putting a lot of effort into some things." It hurt him to say it but it was the truth. He didn't know how they got here but amnesia was going to either make them or break them.

She listened to his overdue vent. She anticipated it, water heats for a long time but there's always a boiling point.

"What do you want?" From her, from their life together. She wanted a straightforward answer.

"You. I want you. I'll always want you. Your flaws, your mistakes, the way you nose turns up when you laugh, the way you feel when I'm deep inside you, the way you always give me sass even though your gonna do whatever I ask. You. It's….you...I'll always want you."

"I want that too Rick. I want to feel every word you said but I can't. Not like this." Not when most days she felt adrift looking for an island to land on.

"Tell me what you need Michonne and I'll give it to you."

"I think I need some time. Some….space." it was her last resort in sorting herself out. She couldn't do it when she barely got time to think without him distracting her by doing everything right.

"Done. I'll move back into the guest bedroom." He knew she wasn't an interchangeable part to just switch her feelings so he would put her first in all this even if it meant perjuring his own heart because the last thing he wanted to do was give her space.

"Rick…...I'm going to my mother's for a few days to help Sasha with the wedding."

He knew her well enough to know assisting Sasha was her excuse. What she was really doing was trying to leave him and he didn't think he could allow it.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"I think right now it's all I have." She needed some space to think in order for her to move forward unencumbered. She was doing this for them.

"Sasha can come here. There's plenty of room.

"Rick. I'm going."

"No."

"It's for a few days." Her intonation was slow removing any dramatic delivery from her tone.

"You're taking my boys too?" It was one thing for her to walk away right now but he couldn't let her take his sons with her.

She squared her shoulders and tilted her head confidently. Her masked confidence was supposed to be a powerful persuasion but she was lacking sorely on both fronts.

"I think that's best don't you think? You're home after their bedtime most nights. Weekends you're occupied in the shed." It wasn't an insult but an honest observation.

"You think I want to miss out on being with them? The Drug campaign will be over soon and my schedule will return to normal."

"I know you don't. I know how much you love them Rick." He was an excellent father he couldn't be faulted for that, even with his hectic schedule he made time for the boys. Today had been a prime example.

"I can't protect you if you're not here." He couldn't remember a time when they weren't all together. His heart was breaking and she wasn't even there to pick up the pieces.

"We'll be okay."

He invaded her personal space and held her eyes hostage as he spoke with a sadness and a desperation she wished she hadn't seen. "Do you have any idea how I felt the night you got in the accident? When Shane called bawling on the phone trying to tell me you weren't waking up? Do you know how scared I was? How guilty I felt letting you leave this house that night? I made a promise that night. I pleaded with God for your life because I knew I had no control over things." She saw his eyes tear up and in response so did hers.

"Rick -"

He was watching her crumble in front of him because she was scared. He wanted to tap into her brain without losing his, it broke his heart seeing her like this and he hoped the right words would come to him.

"I made a promise to myself that I'm not losing you or Carl or Andre. We belong together, the four of us. In here," he pointed to her heart, "You know it too."

This was exactly why she needed to take a step away. She felt the pendulum shift between them. Even Jessie's disturbance had been the caveat for reinforcing what she had been trying to avoid all along.

Rick wanted waterfalls and she was only able to provide a trickling fountain. Half of her wasn't enough. She needed to do this for them otherwise she would remain perpetually in an anchorless state.

"Then give me a few days." She was trying to draw strength from his certainty but all she was drawing was pain. She understood the need for their history, everybody needed one but the battle between wanting to know her roots and needing her wings was crippling her.

"That's all I ask. You can come see the boys every day." She was hoping on a miracle in a few days and maybe some sound advice from her mother because she was at a crossroads and didn't know where to go.

He was standing under a metal rod in a lightning storm, it was the only way to describe the ache in his heart at the thought of them not being together but he had to trust in their love and put hope in that she was going to find her way back to him even in separation.

"I love you Michonne." She touched his face and he leaned into her soft palm. It was a clear chasm that her body knew how to soothe him but her heart didn't.

The doorbell rang a second time for the evening breaking their rumination. Stepping away from his gaze he watched her walk to the door like a prelude to what was going to happen next and he felt like his flesh was tearing.

She was going to leave and she was taking his entire reason for existing with her.


	8. Lost and Found

"This thing is heavy man where'd ya' want it?" Daryl struggled with the Brent wheel he collected from _Rainbow Cat Potters_ as per Rick's request. When he volunteered to come over after work to give his buddy a hand with his latest project he wasn't sure what he was getting himself into but if Rick needed him to fight in a war at his side he'd do it. He considered Rick a brother, their long tenure of friendship was a test to that. Daryl stepped into the old tool shed that stood to the back of the Grimes' large backyard. The almost cleared out room smelled of sawdust and paint, he laid the heavy wheel carefully on the ground.

Rick was bent at the knees as he hammered some nails into a shelf he had built, he peeked over his shoulder at Daryl's entrance. "Did you get the extension cord?"

"Yeah." He leaned on the long work table that hadn't been there a few days ago and tried to gauge where his friend's head was at presently. He pulled up the deadline date of his project by a week which was brought on by Michonne's sudden departure from their home he was sure. He decided to approach him on a neutral topic.

"Carl and Dre good?" It got Rick's attention and he finally turned around and faced him.

"As can be. Took them out to the rec center yesterday. Dre kept asking when are they coming home and it's only been three days. Carl is convinced I did something to upset Michonne and told me I better fix things." He laughed and his shoulders shook as he remembered how forceful Carl's soon to be changing voice was when he was questioning his parents sudden distance. Carl wasn't buying they were there to help his aunt Sasha alone, he was always able to pick up on Michonne's mood whether happy or sad.

"If this is what divorce feels like there ain't no way I'm doin this to my kids Daryl." He finally got a glimpse of what Leon Bassett kept grumbling about everyday at the station, his empathy expanded.

"Nobody's gettin' divorced." Daryl said his voice resolute.

Rick nodded in agreement. "No nobody is." It had been a grim cerebration that made him all the more determined to keep his family together by any means necessary.

Keeping things back on track and not allowing melancholy to settle between them he gestured to Daryl to help him maneuver a piece of medium grade plywood covered in heavy canvas.

"So you're really doin' all this for her? And she don't know nothin'?" Daryl asked trailing Rick's head nod to move the small electric kiln to the corner of the medium sized shed.

"Yeah she fell in love with pottery and I wanted to make a space for her here where she could do it whenever she feels like. It'll surely give her something to do until she goes back to work."

"Whendya figure that'd be?"

"I don't know."

"She any good? At this whole pottery thing?" Daryl asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. I can't say I've seen much of her work really." She was in the beginning stages of mastering the technique but he did see the way he eyes lit up everytime she had to attend class and he would do whatever he could to keep the fire there.

"Wait a minute. Ya' mean to tell me you ain't never seen her work and you're buildin' her a damn studio?" Daryl admired Rick's devotion.

"I love 'er, she's my wife." It was his simple yet strong defense which made Daryl feel off for his lack of sensitivity.

"Tell me how can I help?" The last person he wanted to see in pain was Rick, not after everything he had been through with Lori. When Rick met Michonne there was a light in his eyes that had replaced the dullness that had started to take root in him. After he was introduced to Michonne Daryl understood why Rick had been instantly enamored by the pregnant lawyer. She _saw_ Rick and was never afraid to tell him she did and in turn he gave her all the pieces of himself he kept gradually hidden from his friends over the years. If there were any two people that were meant to be it was Rick and Michonne.

After Rick laid out the list of tasks ahead of them they worked efficiently to get them done by removing some of the old storage shelves and replacing it with the ones Rick built.

Next they attempted to paint the walls a burnt orange as it was Michonne's favorite color, luckily the room was small and it didn't take them long. They then rearranged the pottery furniture at least two times before they got it aesthetically right.

At present they were moving the painting strips they had placed around the borders as a neatness measurement. They were working in silence and Daryl knew Rick was in his head and decided to make an attempt at helping him like the many times he had done for him.

"You talked to her about the possibility of not gettin' her memory back and what that could mean for y'all?"

"She said that's why she stepped away for a few days. I think she feels like stepping away will make them magically reappear but it's been five weeks and nothin'. I'm beginning to lose hope myself." There wasn't a doubt in his mind that fate had put them together but he wanted to ask that same fate where had it been hiding while he watched her slip away from him.

True love couldn't be forgotten. Could it?

"Well maybe that's your ace in the hole right there."

"What do you mean?" He asked removing the old wooden door off its hinges while Daryl retrieved the brand new cedar slider door that was the replacement.

"Memories ain't all you got Rick."

"Daryl, memories are what keeps me runnin' these days." It was the truth but maybe Daryl was right too and he needed to be reminded of that. Memories didn't define them. Essentially they were part of them but it wasn't holistically who they were together. What they had was a love that was supposed to define time and space. It was the type of love ordinary people dreamed of and dreamers read about. If they met in the eighteenth hundreds they would've found a way to be together, no matter the road they would always find each other. There wasn't any way to precise an explanation on fate. It's inevitable law was clear. Michonne still loved him but he didn't know how to tap into that without making her regress. They already had a complex combinations of conditions that were helping her in that regard. He knew she had freedom of choice but he was hoping fate could be a conduit to help her choose him again.

"I think you've got a point. I'm just not sure how to approach thangs.'"

Right now she was his delicate flower and if he was going to grow love in her garden again he'd have to make sure he had the appropriate tools for a bountiful harvest.

"I'd start from scratch. Take her out on a date. Let her fall in love all over again."

"You want me to date my wife?" It sounded strange but it was absolute genius.

"The love is still there man! Even if her brain has forgotten her heart probably didn't. Speak to that."

Michonne was unable to identify with their material existence because her brain he'd employed an extensive firewall but one thing he realized given their few moments of bliss amidst the bizarre was she couldn't block him from her heart and that was a great engaging point.

"I think you should've opened with that." Dating her was a great place to start.

"Yeah pull out all the stops. Women love that crap."

"Four months of dating Rosita and you're a love doctor? Only took you five years to get some sense." He teased but the changes he had seen in his brother since Rosita had reformed him somewhat was impeccable. He was no longer the lone ranger who spoke in short sentences or embraced his loner mentality. Rosita dissected Daryl and helped him to be more engaging and it had worked out for everybody when Daryl discovered he didn't have to be like his degenerate brother Merle.

"Just some common sense. She's forgotten...so remind her."

Rick mused on his words bringing to the forefront that if Michonne couldn't find her way right now he'd have to find a way to her. He knew the song that played in her heart; she had forgotten the words but he didn't. He decided to keep faith alive and faith didn't believe in fatalistic thoughts.

"Now I ain't sayin to not help her memory at all, you gotta do whatcha' can."

"I talk to her about our past as much as I can, nothing has helped in jogging her memories forward." Being stuck on recall was what had her so frustrated with the process.

A smug smile settled on Daryl's face and it pulled Rick's curiosity as they hooked the door up on its hinges. The weather was cool and he was grateful that the hot blaring sun didn't stand guard as foreman on their jobsite today.

"What is it?" Rick finally asked.

"You ever see Fifty First Dates? Drew Barrymore? Adam Sandler? Total chick flick?"

"You've seen that?" It was one of Michonne's favorite movies he had seen it at least four times with her and each time was like she'd seen it for the first time. It was ironic now that she was the one suffering from retrograde amnesia. If the cliche didn't hit so close to home he'd be laughing right now. He was quite shocked that Daryl had seen it but Daryl's girlfriend was Rosita and Rosita was a part of the Flosse Posse and well birds of a feather flocked together.

"I said it man, chicks love that kind of crap. Anyways I got an idea but we're gonna need everybody on board for this one."

"I'm in." He would go to any lengths to help her and make her take note that he still saw her even if she couldn't see him right now. "You think we could discuss semantics of this plan while we fix the porch light?" He wanted all his pending tasks completed when his wife came home.

* * *

 **June 2013**

 _The sun was dazzling in the sky, almost to the point of gloating of its grandeur and the only reason why Michonne had stopped staring at it was because its infinite radiance was burning her retinas. At times like this it wasn't hard to believe there was a majestic creator somewhere out there who had creatively crafted the bluest sky to perfection, perfectly paired with a sea so blue she could see the white sand between her toes when she was immersed in the ocean's warmth._

 _She loved Barbados; the combination of the friendliness of the locals, the turquoise Caribbean Sea that kissed the white sands of the shore in a possessive wave while she savored the taste of the local flying fish wedged between warm bread gave her the complete feel of being in paradise. The delicacy she had devoured was sold from a food truck bearing the name Cuz's Fish Stand was referred to as_ cutters _and she was on her second one while Rick nursed the popular, local Banks Beer._

 _They watched Carl splash in the water trying to wash off the sand from his body that he had been buried in deep by her and Rick not too long ago. Happiness had finally chartered a course straight to her and while it may not come when you want it, fate is always on time._

 _It could be too that while she sat between Rick's legs on the beach chair provided by the friendly bajan sole trader who called his beach facility Cool Runnings, paired with the comfortable yet possessive feel of his soft palm on her round bare belly added to the euphoric feel she was experiencing._

 _Barbados had been their destination but she was clear on the fact that Rick and Carl were her destiny._

" _Did I tell you how sexy you are in this bright yellow bikini?" He asked allowing his lips to whisper into her ears only. He gazed at her glowing body partially shielded from the harsh ray's of the sun above them by the deep blue beach umbrella and marvelled at how smooth and radiant her beautiful dark skin looked as she rested against him. He was envious of the bright ball of flame that hung in the sky bold enough to have kissed her enticing skin in his presence._

 _His hand naturally gravitated to her beach ball size belly to soothe the baby that had been kicking up a storm inside but it also served as a general notice to locals and foreigners alike that Michonne belonged to him and by extension so did her child._

" _You did but maybe you can show me how sexy I really am later?" She teased as she perked her lips up for a kiss which he delivered promptly on. He was breathtaking; bare chested in only an orange beach pants and his Ray-Ban sunglasses. She hoped any straying eyes could see that he was hers and somehow they would link Carl back to her too._

 _Together they had created a family._

" _Later?" He laughed because later for Michonne meant knocking out around seven because she was too spent to stay awake and be her usual life of the party. The baby was draining her energy as her due date drew near and sleeping wherever she could had become a hobby of hers as of late._

" _Look at this. Isn't this the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" She asked pointing to Carl splashing giddily in the water with his red bucket and shovel as the sun was preparing to lure the moon in its place. Pebbles Beach was on the southwest coast of the island and overlooked the popular Carlisle Bay. It was a regular spot for divers and snorkelers as it held the secret histories of at least six shipwrecks that often drew curious tourists. Catamarans also sailed the waters hoping to spot a turtle or stingray or just to get their picture taking on in one of the most picturesque Bays on the island._

" _It is. It really is." He only had eyes for her, although he knew he was probably about to witness the most beautiful sunset he had ever seen he was excited and nervous that the sun was setting on his own life of solitude because he found his best friend and she was the absolute, there would never be another, love of his life._

" _You two need a room?" Shane asked as he, Daryl, Glenn and Abe returned from their snorkeling expedition. Rick opted to stay with Michonne who had been complaining of a nagging back pain since they woke up in their hotel room that morning. The girls had gone off to do some highly anticipated water activities like jet skiing and paddle boarding, they were content to watch everyone have some overdue fun._

" _It's getting late are we still going to_ The Gap _tonight?" Glenn asked glad to see the girls had started to float into the shore._

 _Daryl signaled to Rick that the timing for his surprise couldn't have been better. Rick had been reluctant to take Andrea's advice on his island getaway surprise because the uppity blonde was nothing if she wasn't extra but the more everything came together the more sure he was of his decision._

 _The sun was about to set and everyone had assembled in a cluster after their different interests had pulled them apart for almost half the day, decisions of dinner and nightlife activities still yet to be finalized._

 _This was the moment Rick had been waiting on._

" _Yeah dinner sounds great. Maybe we should head on up and get ready." Rick watched Daryl grab Carl from the shore with much protest. Michonne was easing her full frame from the beach chair with the assistance from Shane. She was none the wiser as everybody was working swiftly behind the scenes in making the evening a memorable one for Rick and Michonne._

" _Babe the sun is setting. I think you should steal a pic." Rick knew she loved sunsets and she wouldn't hesitate to capture the moment._

 _Phone in hand Michonne slowly padded a few steps to the shore to capture the orange glow of the sky, dispersed with hints of a purple hue intermingling with the marshmallow clouds setting the stage for the thousands of stars who had collective decided it was their time to shine. It's beckoning theme song was the rhythmic percussion of waves that sang upon the shore lines. Just as she turned around to signal to Carl to come bear witness to the beauty of the iridescent sky there was Rick ring in hand, down on one knee with Carl next to him holding a sign that said_ Will You Marry Us? _Only the sign was upside down but the huge grin on Carl's face melted her composure on the significance of it all._

 _No sunset could compare to the beauty of her two boys and the love they had currently on display on this beach in front of their family and friends and even strangers._

 _Her eyes remained on Rick who's blue eyes matched the colour of the churning sea only his eyes bore waves of love that washed over her soul; resuscitating places that had been once desolate from all the painful things that at one point sought refuge in her life. The solitaire diamond ring that dazzled under the setting sun had caught her eye. Yet nothing held promise like the rhapsody taking hold of Rick's face. Her heart began to dance exotically under his gaze and her hand flew to her bronzed cheeks still in a bit of unbelief but questionless about starting this journey with him._

" _Michonne -"_

" _Yes!" If he was asking her to spend the rest of her life with him her answer was yes without a doubt. She was on the highest roller coaster of joy, he exalted her in amorous rapture and had done so since that Tuesday afternoon four months ago when she met him._

" _Yes? I had a whole speech. I've been practicin' you gonna let me?"_

 _His heart was stuck in his throat but he needed to make it clear that his heart would never be in question; she owned it. She gave a tearful nod for him to continue. She had only just noticed Daryl making a video of the moment with his phone and hope she didn't look like the emotional wreck she was. Her sister and Andrea were clutching hands, everyone else looked on like ducks in a row by the beach chairs and she knew they had been in on the shenanigans too. Not even Maggie had let anything slipped._

 _He reached for her hand, still on bended knee which had to be uncomfortable given the soft shifting sand but he remained in his position of admiration because loving her had been a service to God himself._

" _Michonne everyday since we've met has somehow been better for me cause you're in it. And I know we haven't known each other a lifetime like some people but the minute I saw you somehow I knew we were meant to be and I promise to always remind you how much believing in that has changed me. Make me the happiest man on earth, let me be your husband and Andre's father. I promise you won't regret it. Will you marry me?"_

" _Us dad! Will she marry us?" Carl said clutching his sign under his arm to help clarify the setup for Rick. Michonne couldn't help but laugh at the heart and humor of it all._

" _Yeah. Us...marry us. Say yes?"_

" _I can say yes now?" She teased as though her heart would sacrifice any other response to his show of devotion._

 _He rose to his feet and held her cheeks in his palms as he used his thumb to dry her soft tears._

 _He answered her with his eyes, in them she saw a promise that he would always keep his word and loving her was on the top of the list._

" _Yes." It was a whisper only his ears heard but it traveled on the evening breeze that circled them and made its way across the seas as a declaration of their commitment to be timelessly echoed with every wave born._

 _He kissed her, encircling his hand around her protruding waistline and her fingers combed through the waves of curls at the base of his neck. His tongue glided into her mouth in a passionate tryst and he had to remind himself they were on a public beach._

" _C'mon buddy. You don't need to see this." Abraham grabbed Carl and tossed him over his shoulder away from his parents who were on the verge of making out on the beach under the invested scrutiny of a small crowd._

 _Not wanting to but ending the kiss because of their location they allowed their foreheads to touch. Michonne spoke in a soft assuring voice, "You and I..." She couldn't complete her sentence because her baby boy was announcing his claim on the moment too._

 _His warm hands touched her belly where Andre, a name happily chosen by Michonne was kicking in hopeful celebration. "Are meant to be."_

 _She couldn't have said it better herself._

* * *

"And dear God please keep daddy safe when he chases the bad guys and please don't let him miss me and Carl too much and mommy too cause she's his bestest friend in the whole world. And….." Andre turned to his brother who sat beside his kneeling frame on the double decker bed. "Did I forget anything?"

Carl was pensive for a few minutes as he thought about any specific pleas he had to ask the big man above. He remembered grandpa Hershel telling him God answers when we ask things of him. An idea struck him and he whispered in Andre's ears even though there was no one else in the room.

"And God even though we love grandma's cookies we really wanna go home soon. I think that's it so Amen!" Andre prayed with as much fervor he could muster. Carl climbed up on the top bunk of the third bedroom in the country house that he loved to visit so much but he was missing his father, his bed and their gigantic TV.

Michonne walked into the room trying to recover from Andre's prayer she managed to stumble upon outside the door. She didn't mean to eavesdrop on her boys but if they were praying about going home she wondered if she was doing more damage than good keeping their family separated. Nothing she felt that she had done was either right or wrong, the ambiguity of it all was disconcerting to her.

"Hey guys. You ready for bed?" She approached the bunk beds and played with Carl's silky hair as he got comfortable under his blanket.

"Mommy! How was school?" Andre reached up and threw his arms around her. She never grew tired of the feel of her baby's small arms enclosing her in a tight embrace.

"It was so much fun. Let me tuck you back in." She made sure her son was snuggled and warm, she kissed his forehead and then repeated the routine goodnight hug ups with Carl.

Her hand lingered in Carl's hair as she gazed at him, his eyes were a replica of his father's and it was hard not to think of Rick's handsome face whenever she looked at their son. She saw his silent question and she sought to promptly reassure him. It was ironic to her that on her own she was uncertain of which move to make when it came to her relationship with Rick but as the days passed without his presence she was finding the answers to her many questions through her kids.

"We're going home soon okay. I promise. Aren't you guys excited about aunty Sasha and uncle Abe's wedding next week? You get to dress up in a suit and everything." Her stay did give her the benefit of helping Sasha tie in all the arrangements for her big day. Everything was on track and she had streamlined most of the preparations so the bride to be was free to focus on herself and her fiance. Being busy didn't help mitigate the fact that she missed Rick and the easy yet burgeoning friendship they had allowed to blossom between them.

"I have to carry the rings down the aisle. Daddy said it's a big responsible."

"Re-spon-si-bil-i-ty sweetie." She enunciated while dividing her attention between top and bottom bunk.

"Ok c'mon time for bed. I love you both okay." She knew she failed as a wife but failing as a mother was something she wasn't going to do. She sincerely loved Carl and Andre despite her lack of visuals on their childhood. Loving them had been effortless for her so it saddened her everytime she thought about Rick and the way she panicked when it came to her vulnerabilities with him. She scared herself out of being brave.

"Mom?" Carl called out just as she was about to turn off the light.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"You miss Dad right?" She walked back to him and spoke softly as Andre had already drifted off.

"I do." It wasn't a lie. She did miss Rick and she was beginning to second guess her decisions everyday he came to see them. Watching her boys say goodbye was a heartache she rather not bear anymore but it was hard not knowing which way to turn when you're lost in a maze.

"Does he know?" Carl was that kid that liked being on top of things, especially when it came to her.

"He doesn't. I didn't tell him. I only told you." She wondered if she should let him know.

"You're secret's safe with me." Carl sounded like she had told him something sacred.

"It's not really a secret."

"It's still safe with me." Sometimes his intuitiveness amazed her, he was wise beyond his years and in touch with the very feelings she had been trying to avoid.

Being away from Rick allowed her to avoid his presence but there was no way she could avoid the impact he had on her life in the short amount of time she had with him.

"Goodnight Carl." She moved to switch off the light, watching them in the the dark for a few seconds like any Mother would until Carl's breathing became even, she then headed down the stairs.

… **.**

It wasn't very late but between the rush for her therapy session and then her pottery class she had worked up an appetite. She enjoyed her pottery class more than therapy; it was the one time she didn't feel like a stranger, even to herself.

Deanna was waiting in the kitchen with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa sitting on the round oak breakfast table waiting for Michonne to join her.

"Hey. I thought you would've been in bed by now." She said opening the refrigerator and surveying it's contents for something to munch on. Her appetite wavered as the days blended into each other but she had to keep her strength up for Carl and Andre. She settled for crackers and grape jelly. After gathering a butter knife and saucer she joined her step mother at the table.

"How was your therapy and pottery class?"

Going from therapy to pottery was a mental challenge she was trying to master. One dimension required her to not focus on anything in particular; a freeing of her mind of sorts and the other required full commitment and concentration; a nucleus to get the desired effect.

"It was good." She said eating another cracker full of the delicious fruit jam.

"Did you speak to your husband today?" Deanna wasn't one to procrastinate when she had a point to make and given she was lying in wait like a soldier about to execute an ambush Michonne knew her hearing had come. Deanna was a retired judge; her arbitration was inevitable and probably necessary.

"I did. Didn't you see him when he brought the boys home from school?" She spoke to Rick a few times during the day and he came over in the evenings to check up on them. For her, seeing him in short stints was ruining her resolution at remaining neutral while she sorted through her feelings

"I did. He looks like shit."

"Mom!" She noticed that tiredness in his eyes but that could be attributed to the heavy workload he was facing down at the station.

"You don't look to good yourself. You look exhausted.". She was exhausted and she was certain with the stress of it all she had missed a period but she wasn't even sure when was her last one because she couldn't remember. She wondered if Rick would know something so intimate about her? She wouldn't put it passed him. She was going to ask him, hopefully he could tell her where she kept track of it at least. There was nothing on her phone to indicate she did which was unlike her. She normally kept tabs of things like these.

"It's been three days Michonne. When are you going back home?"

"You're kicking me out?. I know you don't think me coming here with the boys was a good idea."

"You know you're always welcomed here but you're running scared." Deanna wanted her step daughter to defy the odds of her marriage being more strained by her and Rick's sudden impasse. A little communication between the two of them would go a long way.

"You think I'm messing up my boys by keeping them away from their father? You think I'm a bad parent?" She was subtly stoning her own self entertaining the disadvantages of her decision.

"I don't think you're a bad mother Michonne but I do think you're looking for excuses _not_ to face Rick."

She had an inkling the thing Michonne was trying to avoid would find her even in hiding. Sometimes you meet your fate on the very road you took to avoid it.

"He's the only thing since the accident you haven't really faced. You faced Carl and Andre. You faced Andrea. You even faced Jim Hilton, the man responsible for it all but you're yet to face Rick."

"I tried! And I failed! I'm always failing with Rick." It was the disappointment in his eyes that was the most heartbreaking. She wanted so badly to be the same woman he fell in love with but she wasn't, she couldn't be and she couldn't afford her darkness to overshadow his beautiful light, not anymore.

Sasha had the brilliant idea that she should take the plunge and sleep with him because it might help jog her memory. She had laughed earlier on at her sister's ludicrous suggestion but she felt she might fail him at that too.

"Why do you think you failed? I don't think that's how Rick looks at you."

"It's in his eyes mom. I could derive an entire hypothesis from the way he looks at me. It doesn't help that I can't love him the way I should."

"I think you need to stop looking for ways you think you _should_ love him and look for ways you can."

"What do you mean? I tried but…" There was no denying how sweet Rick was. He was a selflesss protector who always ensured his family was well taken cared of before anything and anyone else.

"I think it's your heart you don't trust. It overrides your brain every time you make a calculation or an educated guess and it confuses you but maybe your heart remembers the things your brain forgot. You couldn't remember getting into a car accident but you went back behind the wheel, no hesitation. You didn't give it a second thought. That's what you need to do with Rick. Don't think about it. Don't hesitate. Allow your heart to lead and trust in it."

Her seemingly insurmountable challenge was to silence her mind but she didn't know where the mute button was located.

"You fell in love with him once you can do it again. You said he swept you off your feet." Deanna was doing what nobody else had been able to do besides Hershel the night of Rick's allergy attack. She was getting into her head trying to remove doubt and fear from her repertoire.

She had no doubt in her mind that Rick did sweep her off her feet the first time. She fell in love with him when she was four months pregnant with another man's child. The fact that Andre wasn't his biological child didn't matter to him; she could imagine her former self loving him intensely because of his big heart. What she attempted to offer him now paled in comparison to what they shared before her accident.

"That's why I took the break to see if the distance would help." The distance only reiterated how much she needed him and how much she missed his friendship.

"Has it? You miss him, the boys miss him. He misses his family so is it really helping?"

"I don't know how to do this mom." She paused from her cracker and jam fest and rested her head in her palms in solemn defeat, her elbows on the table.

Deanna stroked her hair back, it was hurting her to see her girl in pain but she needed to hear the harsh truth otherwise she would never push past this stage in her grieving process. "Don't treat him as confused as you are. Treat him as a good as he is. Fate will take care of the rest."

"You know everybody keeps talking about fate and destiny and meant to be and if that's what we were then I can't possibly measure up. How do I know for myself it's fate?"

"Fate has many forms, sometimes it's a door without a lock you can just walk into it. Sometimes you have to pick the lock on your own. Other times you have to kick down the door yourself. And there are times when you need to be the door. The mystery is finding out which one you are. But just know wherever you end up is where you're intended to be."

"I know he doesn't see it but I want to try. I want it to work. Rick is a good man. He's a great dad and an incredible husband." Sometimes there would be something she saw on TV or something one of the boys said or did and she'd look for him to tell him but he wasn't around. It was the fruitfulness of knowing him and accepting how much he had become part of her life and in retrospect it had only been a few weeks.

"Why? Why do you want to try? What do you want from it?" Deanna was picking at the bandage she had neatly wrapped around her inner turmoil, she felt stripped but sometimes bandages suffered a wound longer than necessary.

"I want our marriage to work." She knew for that to happen she had to put in some work too.

"Well good. When the why is clear the how is easy."

"Dad used to say that." Her eyes lit up at Deanna's words, her father was a treasure trove of words of wisdom. It made her feel as though he was in the room with them, rubbing her back and telling her she could do this.

"He did and he believed every word. Michonne what's meant to be always finds a way. But you have to surrender yourself to it. Don't have regrets over this. It's better to have tried and failed than to wonder what if." She believed fate was a tide you shouldn't swim against.

"No more breaks?" It was a fortified resolve to not be so detached but it was imperative to everything that meant anything to her that she put aside the vestige of her afflictions.

"No more breaks." Deanna was grateful for the breakthrough, she knew the love she would rediscover with Rick would be life changing for her.

"Thank you." She hugged her and began to replace the food items in their respective places after stealing one last jam filled cracker. "I wonder how they got this jam to taste so yummy. It's absolutely delicious."

"We got it from the Farmers market."

"I didn't know grapes could taste so sweet." It would probably be her new favorite snack.

"Didn't your father tell you that when we used to try to make jam ourselves?"

"Tell me what mom?"

"That sometimes the spoiled fruit made the sweetest jam."

Michonne smiled at the woman who had raised her, the message was received.

* * *

She was watching the minutes roll by like a direct taunt to her subconscious where thoughts of Rick permeated with a new, clear, fresh scope. She missed him and because she was on brain shut down mode taking her mother's timely advice there was nothing to rationalize about the feeling. For the first time in a long time she was going to allow herself to work through the emotion without being dogmatic about what it really implied.

She couldn't tamper the longing nor was she trying to. They spoke every day on the phone, he came by every day to spend time with the boys but what she was experiencing was a genuine desire to be in his company. It was difficult for her to not be able to remember being Rick's wife but in spite of that setback they managed to develop a friendship that felt pure and genuine.

She missed their conversations and the way she felt like she could talk to him about anything. She missed movie nights, she missed seeing him bond with their boys. She missed cuddling up to him at night, which was probably why it took her so long to fall asleep these days. There was something significant about the safety of Rick's arms when the world grew dark and quiet and he held her with promise that nothing could take her from him. It was a routine she quickly grew accustomed too and she felt the deficiency now that she was alone.

She was on hyperdrive thinking about all she had to say to him when he came to see the boys. She was feeling as excited as Andre and Carl were at the anticipation of his arrival.

For now she was content to wait it out with her sons as the three of them dominated her parents' living room as they watched Finding Nemo; Andre's favorite movie of all times.

Ever since her chat last night with Deanna she was having a silent debate on fate and the way it worked and she was wondering if the virtue had a sense of humor too. If it wasn't for the direct absurdity of the amnesia suffering blue tang who's name should've been Michonne but was instead Dory she would be laughing her head off. She was grateful her struggle wasn't in forming new memories because the two bundles under her arms had filled her heart with so much joy and wonder since she opened her eyes from the accident she couldn't fathom not being able to retain anything new and significant when it came to them.

She should take notes from the aloof blue fish who never allowed her condition to keep her back from functioning in her life or loving those close to her. Just when Marlin was about to give up his quest to find his son Nemo because of the intimidating sea elements that stood between his main goal, Dori uttered the words, _'I remember things better with you.'_ which catapults the anxious clown fish's courage to continue on his chase which ends with him defying all odds and giving the invested audience an emotional reunion with his brave son Nemo.

The poignancy of the impact of the friendship between the two fishes made her think about her and Rick and while she didn't remember anything from their past when she was with him she did feel better when they were together. Her therapist also spoke about the critical role of family and loved ones in contributing to the overall well being of amnesiac sufferers. She thought Rick deserved better than someone with half a brain but she missed a few episodes of him trying to show her he still loved her and still viewed her as a whole person. It was something she couldn't afford to take for granted.

By the time the credits rolled on she was a full blown teary mess and she couldn't hide it from the two rambunctious boys who sought comfort in any way they found it on the couch. Carl was under her arm but Andre had moved to her lap.

"Mom? Why are you crying?" Carl asked first, he was never one to see his mother cry and have it not affect him.

"The movie just made me sad is all."

"We watch this movie all the time. Dre knows all the words."

"I think it reminded me of Daddy." She was going to stay honest with her sons.

"The shark? Bruce? " Andre proffered with a laugh.

"Your dad behaves like a shark sometimes huh?" She knew his patience wavered where his job was concerned but she knew he could get agitated about things especially when he had his mind made up about something.

"Uh huh...when he chases the bad guys and you tell him he needs to control his temper."

She centred him and knowing that enlightened her in such a hopeful way. "Not the shark. The daddy fish. Hey guess what? We're going home tomorrow! " For once she made a decision and it felt right. She had a dress fitting with the girls around midday and she had an early appointment with Sasha so she needed Deanna to help with the boys but as soon as it was over she was packing them up and heading home where they all belonged.

"Yesss!" Carl shouted as Dre fist pumped into the air unable to contain his excitement. Andre added a "Praise Jesus!" that sounded like Sasha through and through.

"When is daddy getting here? It's ten o'clock already." Andre said looking at the antique clock on the wall, his head bent sideways.

"It's twenty minutes past five Dre, your dad will be here any minute." Telling time was an ongoing trouble spot for her almost six year old.

At the drop of her sentence Rick's voiced echoed from the foyer calling out to both Andre and Carl.

"He's here!" Carl was the first to jump off the couch and race to meet Rick with Andre on his heels. She too got up and smoothened her locks and the gray blouse and leggings she wore trying to look as presentable as possible for her apology and her hopeful plea for clemency.

The first thing she noticed was the gorgeous bouquet of red roses in his hand but he was giving out hugs like it was Christmas day and she bold facedly stepped forward for one even though she could be classified on the naughty list.

"Hi." He said as he absorbed her into his willing embrace, her hands clung to his shoulder and she inhaled his after shave. He had gone home first and took a shower and a shave too; his four day stubble was gone, replaced by a smooth face that highlighted his straight nose and inviting lips. He looked younger and sexy and an image of him over her as he drove himself inside her over and over again as she clutched his hair and shoulders shook her whole being.

A hand flew to her forehead, she didn't know if it was a memory on recall or a wonton desire playing its way to the forefront of her mind.

"These are for you. Michonne? You ok? I don't like the way you're lookin' maybe you should sit down." He took her hand and the flowers and ushered her to Deanna's kitchen. The boys tailing behind them. He eased her into a chair and found a white vase for the flowers and poured a glass of chilled water for her from the Brita.

Andre and Carl were trying to climb all over Rick while she took a minute for composure. She didn't know if her ill feeling was because of the visual, anxiety or tiredness finally taking possession of her body but nothing was going to deter her from facing her fears today.

"I'm fine." She waved Rick's concern away.

"You don't look fine. Did the tests come back from the doctor yet?" Dr King didn't like the fact she was still getting headaches especially when her injury had healed considerably in the five weeks since the accident. He ran several tests including a blood test but the results were still pending.

"I called the office today and there was a slight delay. Something about a short staffing they hope to rectify before the week is out. I'm fine. I promise."

"You taking care of your mama for me Carl?" He asked his older son.

"Yeah Dad but mom doesn't have much of an appetite these days. Grandma made lasagne and she said she didn't want any." Carl was still bemused by the prepostery of her refusal. Grandma Deanna made the best lasagne in town.

He looked at her and she felt like he was looking straight through her and she knew with certainty he always had the ability to do that.

"Rick I-"

"Michonne I -"

They both spoke in chorus and then shared a ridiculous laugh upon realization.

"Mommy said we're coming home tomorrow daddy!" Andre was bursting at the seams to share the news.

Rick's eyebrows raised in alertness. "Did she now?"

"Yeah and she said you're the clownfish." His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion while Dre bent over laughing at his joke. Carl slapped a hand to his forehead at his brother's foolishness.

"Dre I didn't mean it like that! You two give me and your dad a minute. Go wash up for dinner." After hugging Rick one more time her two speed racers left leaving her and Rick alone with each other.

"Michonne -"

She cut him off with a soft hand to his tanned arm, she let it linger when she felt the strength of his forearm. She wanted to be connected to him. "Please let me say this while I have the courage. I was wrong to leave although being here has lead me to see so many things Rick so I guess I was right even when I was wrong because I can't say I would've come to these conclusions had I stayed at home. I'm so sorry for leaving but I was at my wit's end and didn't know what to do anymore. You're doing everything right and here I am making a mess of things and blaming you when I shouldn't. Truth is I didn't think and I still don't think that you deserve this part of me that can't remember our life together. But I see that I'm better at things with you than when I'm away from you. Maybe I had to go my way to see that but finding my way has highlighted that I don't want to do this alone Rick."

The tears had pooled into her expressive brown eyes and a teardrop had slipped past her eyelids and descended down her dull cheek.

All he wanted to do was hold her; to somehow absolve her off all the agony she was going through but she had to maneuver through her process and he understood that about his wife.

She took a necessary breath before she continued, "Something horrible happened. Something I shouldn't have lived through but I did. I'm alive and that has to mean something right? It does, it means I'm gonna fight through this haze, for Carl, for Dre for us….so if you'll have me back I wanna come home."

"There's no _if_ Michonne. That's your home. Of course I want you to come home. I'm sorry too I think I've been handling things wrong too. I think we were both just trying to protect each other the best way we know how. We haven't discussed what will happen if your memory doesn't come back. Do you think that's something you can live with?"

"Do you?"

"It'll be hard. We have some beautiful memories together but that isn't all we have. We fell in love once and I believe we can fall in love again. The question is would you want to."

"This is the hard part isn't it? I remember my dad telling me once that happiness can be found in the darkest of times if you just remember to turn on the light. I really miss him during times like these."

"I know how much you loved your dad. Listen this isn't the best of circumstances but there isn't anything that you and I can't handle together. I guess we both need to be patient. I know Carl and Andre are a handful and I guess I am too." His commiseration made her laugh and it was a delight for him to see her smiling, she hadn't since she'd left home.

"So if you're ever in need of another break…"

"I'm done taking breaks." She affirmed her commitment for him and for herself too.

"I was _thanking'_ maybe we should start fresh...just hear me out. Maybe it can be a chance to discover or rediscover each other without the pressure of the past. I'm willing to do it if you are."

She was all for it. "I wanna make new memories with you."

"Good. This is….good. so I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me Friday night?"

"Dinner...like a date?"

"Yeah like a date." Rick was an amazing man, even at her worst he still saw her hidden value

"I would love to."

"Great. I um..I got you something'" he fished in his jeans pocket and pulled out a gold box with a crumpled green bow on the top. He handed it to her and remembered his disclaimer but she spoke first.

"A key? What's this for?" He grabbed her curiosity. It couldn't be a house key because she already had her set. It looked like the key for a room of sorts.

"You'll only know when you get home. This was supposed to be bait to get you home sooner but I'm glad to know we're on the same page." He had other big plans in the making but she'd find out soon enough.

She was intrigued by his flowers and gifts and if this was what making new memories meant she was looking forward to it.

"Wedding rehearsal is this weekend." Rick was Abe's best man and she was Sasha's matron of honor and together they'd be standing at the altar as they stood witness of a unique union. It made her wonder what their own wedding had been like.

"Can I hold you?" He remembered their first night at home when it was all he wanted to do but at the time she wasn't ready but her capitulated surrender was encouraging to him. She stood up and sat on his lap with a confidence that made her glow.

"How about we do better than a hug?" She didn't give him time to respond. She bent her head and kissed him, it was different from their other kisses maybe because she was the one taking lead on it. Her lips were soft and tasted sweet, like she'd been eating one of the boys' candies and it made their kiss so much sweeter. Rick swept his hands over her back, exhilarated by the cushy feel of her beautiful body in his arms once more. His tongue played with hers intimately, he was content to know their newly formed intimacy didn't suffer any damage from their time apart. She ended the kiss with a peck to his upper and bottom lips and he was lost in a sea of transparent longing for her. He willed his arousal away, there would be time to explore their ignited attraction soon enough. He would make patience his best friend because Michonne was more than worth it.

"I want you to know something. And I believe this with everything inside me Michonne. Your amnesia is a rock in the road for us but we'll conquer it because you and I were never _not_ going to happen. It would be a privilege for me to say I loved you twice."

It was everything she needed to hear and more. Rick was giving her one more day with a chance and she wasn't going to squander it.

She kissed him again on his pink lips.

"Now about you not eating?" Nothing ever got passed him.

"I'll eat if you promise you'll stay for dinner."

"Done. Now what's this I hear about me being a clown fish?"

Her laughter filled the kitchen and made his heart smile.


	9. The First Time Again

**A/N: Hi everyone! Popping in to say how much I appreciate all the likes and follows I've received for this story and how much I appreciate every one of you who take the time to not just read my update but leave me a review to let me know how you feel, especially the last two chapters which were very difficult for me to write. Even the ones who don't leave a review, thank you for reading every chapter and thank you for trusting me with this premise.**

 **Love yall!**

 **Enjoy the update! Can't wait to hear from you ;)**

 **Sophia**

* * *

"So your husband is taking you out on a date huh?" Sasha was all smiles with her tease leaning on the door frame as Michonne collected the clothes from the dryer. Michonne retreated to the living room to hide the blush that crept up her cheeks and to get away from Sasha's continued line of questioning. Every time she thought about her upcoming date with Rick that night and how much she was looking forward to it she grew overly excited.

Hot on her tails her sister wasn't letting up so she decided to give her whatever she wanted. "Yes Sasha. He is. And yes I'm excited."

"Where is he taking you?"

"I'm not sure, he just said to dress up." The advice from Rick could mean anything as she had discovered. Dressing up for him meant jeans and a shirt, she didn't want to end up wearing a gown to a burger bar. She hoped wherever they were headed tonight he didn't wear that God forsaken cowboy boots that he never left home without.

"I think it's sweet, you getting to fall for him again. That's the plan right? I'm jealous." Sasha said clasping her hands together in glee. Her sister was getting a second chance at falling in love. Who wouldn't want that kind of experience, twice?

"The plan is just for us to get to know each other again. I just hope he can fall in love with Michonne 2.0."

"Who doesn't like a new and improved anything?" They shrugged in silly unison.

"And don't be jealous you and Abe are perfect that's why you're marrying him."

"I'm marrying him because when we met he walked up to me and asked if I had a boyfriend and even though I said yes he said what I really need is a husband and proceeded to give me his phone number. I'm marrying a caveman." Abe could be a brute sometimes but in their few interactions thus far she discovered how much he loved her sister and he was the only one who could take her 'tude as he would say.

"Well Rick and I appreciate you and your caveman watching the boys for us tonight."

"Abe said it's good practice because he wants me to pop out three carrot tops as soon as possible. I said boy you must be trippin'"Michonne laughed knowing fully well as opinionated as Sasha was she would do anything for her fiance, even if that meant giving birth to three foul mouthed gingers.

"Rick said when we get home tonight I can use the key he gave me to check out my surprise." The element of surprise was what kept her motivated all day. She fished the gold key from her pocket and held it up for Sasha to inspect.

"It looks like a key for a door. It's not the key to his heart right? I mean I know my brother in law gives some lame dad jokes but he isn't that corny? Is he?"

Michonne rolled her eyes in feigned annoyance. "No it isn't the key to his heart. But it's a key that leads to somewhere and I'm very intrigued." She knew it was something he had done in the shed, she just had no clue what it was.

"Why are my kids so quiet?" The prolonged silence was speaking to her as she leaned her ear towards the stairs, listening to any kind of sound or movement upstairs. In the case of her two boys no news wasn't always good news.

"Leave my boys, they're doing their homework!" Sasha pleaded, following Michonne into the spotless kitchen.

"I made chicken pot pie for dinner and apple pie for dessert. Carl will want more, cut him off after seconds. And Dre will want dessert before dinner, I'll leave you to deal with that. Sometimes Dre wants milk before bed, give it to him just so he won't fuss otherwise he'll give you a lecture on the importance of milk for a growing boy and trust me you don't need that kind of pain in your life. Oh and make sure Carl doesn't have his DS under his pillow. He's a sneaky one." Giving out precise instructions on how to care for her boys filled her with pride. She was efficient and fluent in their likes and dislikes, quirks and habits and it made her feel like she was on top of the world. That and the fact she no longer had her memory loss like a wedge between her and Rick and everything she didn't know she needed. They had a clean slate and she was ready to dive head first in getting to know Rick, again.

 _He loved her more than her memories._

His words resonated with her every time she had doubts or hesitations.

"I get it. Geez, this isn't the first time you've trusted me with living breathing pieces of your heart and soul Chonne. Now you're wearing something sexy tonight right?" Sasha sat on the stool at the counter watching Michonne recreate a basket of fruits on the marble countertop, she grabbed an apple from the ensemble and took a bite.

"I plan too. Looks like I've got a lot of clothes." She shrugged off the concern, not giving it much thought. She took a sip of water from the mug she pulled out of the white refrigerator door.

"You're a lawyer the money is good. Sooo you two are gonna bone right?"

Michonne spat out the sip of water she held in her mouth over the sink at Sasha's unexpected question.

"Did I do this to you? Did my time away in the city make you so crass?"

"You've met Abe right?" She clarified for her sister, "Abraham's face was in the dictionary next to the word crass, along with lude and improper." She paused for a bit before she continued in her interrogation."Well...are you?"

"Seriously?"

"He's your husband! It's been a while. You guys still have that whole eye sex thing going. In the earlies I had to go to therapy because of it, you two literally didn't care who was in the room…" she left her sentence in the air knowing she had a good point.

Whenever Michonne thought about sharing her body with Rick she only anticipated how he would possessed her soul, probably more than he would possessed her body. She knew it wouldn't be a one off feeling and knowing how much she had started to consider the possibility of a new found intimacy with him heightened the craving of wanting to feel so unencumbered with Rick.

The kitchen door yanked open and in walked the man in question, a brown paper bag full of groceries in his hand.

"Sash you're early? Abe said he'd be here shortly. He text me not too long ago."

"So Abe text you but he's unable to respond to three of my messages for the past hour? Really?"

Rick lifted his hands in surrender not wanting to get involved in any miscommunication between his friend and his sister in law. After placing the brown bag on the counter he turned to Michonne who was all smiles when she looked up at him. She never realized how perfect their height distance was before.

"Hi." He greeted, placing his both hands on the counter, trapping her in a cage of strong arms and a heady gaze.

"Hi." she responded unable to control the blush that spread across her face thanking God for the darkness of her skin tone. Their new found closeness freed her and she didn't want to hold back on how being in Rick's aura affected her.

"Here's like an hour out of my life." Sasha threw her hands in the air as she walked off leaving the pair in the kitchen alone. Since Michonne returned home to stay for a few days leaving Rick with no choice but to visit them at Deanna's to see his family a bond had developed between the two.

She was happy Michonne wasn't fighting it anymore. As much as she hadn't agreed with Michonne leaving Rick and taking his two kids with her, the distance had provided them both with some much needed perspective on their unfortunate circumstances giving them no choice but to find new ways to approach their domestic gridlock. Their separation was hard on both parties involved but it brought about benefits that may have been harder to work through had they stayed together avoiding issues that were too loud to mute any longer.

Now, as much as she played off she was annoyed at their unashamed touching it was like a flashback to an earlier time when her sister was pregnant for a dead guy yet happily in love with a man who brought her back to life.

Rick kissed Michonne, bringing her petite frame into his hold. Her breasts crushed against his chest and she felt an awakening in her core.

"Someone said you had a date tonight?" He was in a playful mood.

"Yeah some guy I met. Kinda cute. Carries a gun." So was she.

"Really now? You gonna give it up on the first date?" He kissed her nose, the remnants of his nagging day falling away at his feet.

"A lady never kisses and tells." She tilted her face, giving him better access to her cheek.

"Want some advice?" he said two kisses later.

"I can put the advice in reserve, what you got?" her hands smoothened the lapels of his sheriff's shirt in need of an excuse to touch his covered chest.

"Don't give it up on the first date."

"Why not?" she looked up at him, her eyebrows raised in question at his unsolicited advice.

"Because by date number two you're gonna have this poor schmuck askin' you to marry him and from what I remember you already have a husband and I'm almost certain his _gun_ is bigger than most."

He was being cocky and in the midst of his cockiness he was wearing the smile she gave him so she kissed him again, only this time her arms went around him bringing him closer than the air that stilled around them.

Sasha returned with another laundry basket of clothes "Seriously? Right in front of my laundry?"

They reluctantly pulled apart reasoning and good judgement letting them loose.

"If we don't get ready now we're going to be late." Michonne said clearing her throat.

"Mmmhhmmm." Sasha said eyeing them both with ridicule. They sauntered upstairs in a hand hold to prepare for the evening.

….

"Y'all better not come back here with no babies." Sasha teased as she watched them walk down the driveway hand in hand. Andre and Carl had said their goodbyes and ran back upstairs to finish a game they were playing, too innocent to understand the significance of their folks going on this special date.

"How long you think they're gonna hold off on ugging bumplies for?" Abe asked closing the door behind them.

"Hopefully not much longer. They need to have sex. I don't know what other language I can say it in again for my stubborn sister to get the message."

"So umm...the kids go to sleep after dinner right?" Abe said hovering over Sasha as she sat down on the couch, remote in hand.

"Abraham Ford you're an idiot. Don't you even think about it!"

"Can't blame me for trying. When we're married I hope you know you can't say no to me."

"Oh Abe. When we get married that's when I really can"

….

The drive to the city had been serene, conversation was flowing and although she had all the nervous energy that accompanied a first date she couldn't help but feel comforted by the effortless way Rick knew and understood her. He knew the topics they could discuss at length together and she even gave him a genuine laugh at his corny jokes Sasha was referring to. It was so cute the way he laughed at the lameness of his own joke.

He was creating havoc with her insides with what he chose to wear tonight; a white cotton shirt with blue coloured khakis. He wasn't as clean shaven as he'd been when she returned home, the three day stubble had her and her libido in constant debate about which Rick look she preferred more. Either one could have her in submission to him for the rest of the night. Her husband was an attractive man and she kicked down every wall that could potentially stand between them and a memorable night together. She hoped it was the first of many.

Rick couldn't help but admire the beautiful smile that had taken up residence on Michonne's face the minute he had walked in the door. Coming to the city had been a good idea, it was where they met, their blossoming romance taking root in the ground that not even a death defying car accident could destroy. He was so proud of his wife he could burst. She was making every effort to be present with him and it didn't feel as though her excitable manner held any pretense. She was enjoying his company as much as he was enjoying hers. He was mesmerized by her beauty, even after all these years nothing could ever prepare him for it. Tonight was no exception; her locs were freshly styled, pulled back in a french braid that showcased her full face. The gold eyeshadow she wore added to her luminous beauty that had every man in the three star restaurant turning their heads upon arrival.

What stood out to him the most, what stirred his heart and renewed his faith in the timeless bond they shared was what she wore tonight on their _second_ first date; a maroon colored wrap dress that opened at her cleavage, showing off her small waist and well rounded ass. It's sanguine significance being it was the exact dress she wore on their first date when he was nervous as hell and she was perfect, radiant in her fourth month of pregnancy. She wore it unprompted, of her own volition without knowing it already held their history.

Fate wasn't failing him. They were still soulmates, still very much meant to be despite the lack of data her brain held. Her heart was functioning at full capacity even if she didn't realize.

Who couldn't help but fall in love with her, again?

They had reservations at a new restaurant called _il giardino del cibo_ specializing in authentic Italian cuisine and a daring ambience that transported you to one of the more intimate locations in the famous European country like Florence or Turin. There was soft Italian music playing in the speakers above them adding to the elegance and sophistication of the fine dining they presented. Soft light whispered over them fabricating their own classified space among a sea of couples and friends out to enjoy the evening too. He really hadn't notice anyone else besides the dark skinned goddess in front of him. She was currently enjoying the chocolate cake she ordered for dessert telling Rick if she didn't have the treat she would die. Her love for anything chocolate remained in tact.

"You sure you don't want a glass of wine?" He asked pouring himself another glass of port, although he was still stuffed from the lavish dinner they had not too long ago.

"I'm sure." She said sipping on the coca cola she hadn't touched much of. She wanted the alcohol but she also didn't want anything to impair her judgement in any important decisions she had to make tonight. She wanted to be lucid enough to ensure she was making all the right ones when it came to sharing her heart and hopefully her body with Rick. Taking Hershel's advice she was also trusting her gut and her gut was also saying wine wasn't going to mix well with the way she had been feeling the past few weeks so she didn't want to indulge until her check up with Dr. King tomorrow showed her she was in the all clear.

"You know I always loved the city but something like school or an uneasy pregnancy always held me back from exploring it thoroughly."

He remembered her saying that which was why she appointed herself as his and Carl's tour guide when they first came out to see Maggie. They had gone exploring together; restaurants, sightseeing, street food they had done it all but her episodic memories failed her at best these days and he tried not to dwell on it. Instead he opted to cease the opportunity to do something she loved doing. "Where would you want to go if you had the chance?" He knew what her answer was going to be before he saw the dazzle in her eyes.

"The planetarium." she said eagerly.

They had been there twice together and once with Carl. "That's what you want?" Whatever her desire he would grant it. The projection of stars and planets captured her interests with childlike wonder and he would do anything to make Michonne happy.

"You want us to get that cake to go?" He was signaling to their server to bring their bill. Rick was ready to continue their evening under less scrutiny, reticent to share her with so much people.

"We're going there now? Aren't we overdressed?"

"Nah."

She wasn't going to make a fuss, after all he wasn't in his cowboy boots tonight, he was in a pair of brown loafers and seeing the paleness of his feet somehow made him even more adorable to her.

"This cake is definitely to go." She would eat it later when she was reminiscing on the beautiful night she had with Rick.

….

Gazing at constellations, even through a computer simulation reminded her of how small she was on the grand scheme of things and if she was given a second chance at life, at being a better mother and maybe even a better wife she was more blessed than most. It helped put everything into perspective. The illustration of the solar system was both entertaining and educational and she made a mental note to drive Carl and Andre out to see it soon. The dome shaped building was large in its stance and the projection screen was a flattering imitator of the original night sky. It was a colorful showing of the stars and planets aligning in perfect pattern, a display of the heavens she deemed it. A realistic simulation at best. They sat for a while observing silently and audibly the little and big things that made up the Galaxy and how much their boys would enjoy the show. Their hands had slipped into each other during the space movie and now she was craving more of his body heat and it wasn't even cold.

Rick was feeling like he was on cloud nine only it was a minimization of what he truly felt. He was like the constellations Michonne loved so much, he was flying high above the clouds all because he could openly touch his wife again. It was a long way from her shying away from his touch at the hospital. It said so much about where she was mentally but more important where she was in her heart; the place where everything grew.

She had her natural phenomena in the orrery, he had his in her eyes. It felt like the first time all over again watching her take in the majestic atmosphere as the blue light of the dome's screen projection brightened her face like a beacon in a storm while the stars danced with iridescent splendor above them.

"You really enjoyed this didn't you?" Everyone around them was gathering themselves to leave, the viewing of space and time over.

"I did." She said taking her coat from his extended arm. "Thank you." She kissed him again, it happened so often during the evening he had lost count.

They came upon an elderly couple in the foyer trying but failing at taking a selfie. Before Michonne could nudge Rick to assist them he offered his services to the sweet duo.

"Oh that's very kind of you. My son bought me this new phone. I don't even know how to make a call on this thing farless take an _ussie_ " The older gentleman who had a white beard and blue eyes like his father said shaking with laughter.

"We'll figure it out." Rick took the iPhone, trying to work his magic. Michonne laughed a bit too loudly at his antics knowing fully well Rick was also technologically inept but she gave him a full ten points for trying.

The dark skinned woman who Michonne assumed was the gentleman's wife turned to Michonne with a kind smile. She tilted her head to where Rick and her husband were debating the location of the camera button. "First date?"

"You could say that." Her response made her feel like a teenager.

"Hold onto him he looks like a keeper." The old lady said with no mendaciousness in her tone.

"Yeah he does doesn't he?" She observed Rick's kindness in silent admiration. There was no denying how genuine this man's heart was.

"I knew my Ernie was the one for me the day I met him. It's been forty years for us. Sometimes you just know when things are meant to be." She pointed above them with confidence, "Stars align so to speak. You will too dear."

To know she and Ernie were together for someone's lifetime stirred a longing within Michonne. She could see her and Rick growing old together. Wilma's face didn't tell her age, her skin was still as smooth and wrinkle free as when she was Michonne's age, creating a timeless aura that transcended from her face to her warm spirit. Her black didn't crack and if she and Rick did in fact grow old together at least he had that to look forward to.

"Thank you." There was deep sincerity in her tone, it seemed that the old folks had been a guiding light for her. Experience was always better than a GPS system that always assumed it was headed in the right direction.

"Wilma, I think he got it." Ernie said gathering his wife in his arms to pose for the picture Rick was trying to perfectly capture for the sweet couple.

Rick took a few candid shots of Wilma and Ernie and handed the phone back to them when he was finished.

"Thank you son, Ms. We wish you two the best." Ernie topped his imaginary hat to Michonne.

"And lots of babies!" Wilma added in an earnest tease before they walked off in their cuddled position.

"It's Sasha and Abe forty years from now." Rick said lacing her hand with his again. Her skin was warm against his touch.

"A sedated Sasha and Abe you mean." She shook with laughter. She lifted their clasped hands to her lips and kiss the back of his. A feeling of home had settled over her at Wilma's words and all she wanted to do now was be alone with Rick. Somehow her future was imbedded in her flaws and Rick showed her he loved her, flaws and all.

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her further into his embrace.

"You tired baby?" He asked knowing they had been at the planetarium for about an hour.

"Not tired but I do want to go home."

The promise that held in her eyes as she looked up to him did nothing to calm his elation at her welcoming close proximity. He had an opposite reaction to her request, images of him touching her and kissing her neck made his already snug pants even tighter.

He couldn't wait for the emptiness of their home to kiss her, had wanted to since they had sat down at the restaurant. He wished she remembered how public displays of affection used to be their modus operandi, not because they wanted to impress anyone but just because they couldn't control themselves. He wanted to return to a time where they couldn't get enough of each other.

Maybe tonight was a good time to remind her.

"Let's go home."

….

Even as they were briefed by Sasha and Abe about the thankfully smooth night they had with the kids Michonne was heavily distracted with thoughts of Rick's hand on her thigh on the entire drive home. The way his fingers had creeped under her dress teasing her core with his potential touch only to descend to a successive rub of her knees. It had been a pleasurable mock and a hopeful hint of things to come.

Waving them off on the porch she couldn't keep the visual of the kiss he planted on her in the planetarium and how right it felt letting the world see how much they wanted each other.

"Do you want to do it now?" Rick asked leaning on the frame of their front door getting some kind of amusement from her instant fluster.

His question had her hot and bothered and it took her a few seconds to catch that he was referring to the room reveal and absolutely, positively, unfortunately not about sex. It wasn't her fault all she could think about was Rick strumming her like his favorite guitar.

"Yy...yes let's." She managed to mumble as he took her hand to go around the house. She hesitated for a bit concerned about the boys if they woke up and needed her.

"They're not gonna wake up." He eased her mind of their only hinderance and she was satisfied in his confidence.

The late night air had a chill but he stuck so close to her body until there was no vacancy for the cold to attack her. Standing on the threshold of the garage door her body hummed in excitement, anxious to see what Rick had created for her.

"You ready?" He asked his hands blindfolding her, he didn't want any peeking.

"Yes already!" She danced under his touch like an anxious kid at a birthday party. She heard the bolt unlock and then listened to a door slide across on its hinge. Rick laid a palm on her belly, maneuvering her from behind to step inside.

She smelled the fresh paint and figured Rick had cleaned up the messy shed like she asked just like he had finally fixed the front porch light. All these things were a white light to his goodness and made her see she did have a good one.

She was in disbelief when his fingers dropped from her eyes to reveal all the fixings of a pottery room, her jaw dropped, her eyes widened and she was shocked that this is what he had done for her.

"Oh. My. God. Rick!" She saw the kiln, the shelving, the lovely burnt orange color on the wall and the beautiful pottery wheel, she knew these items were expensive depending on the brand purchased. Rick went out of his way to create a space for her to practice her pottery. If she wasn't falling for him before she would need someone to pick her off the ground now because she was about to turn potty in his hands, a most suitable pun.

"Rick." She turned around to face him after her eyes took in every square inch of the room.

"You like it right?" His arms were folded in wait.

"Like it? I love it."

"Daryl helped."

"Remind me to thank him but how do you know I'm any good." She was yet to bring home a piece of her work but she would be motivated knowing she had her own place to practice her pottery.

 _He loved her more than her memories._

This grand gesture of love was him showing her that. Her heart was settled in paving a way for her to truly surrender to her husband. She hoped that in doing so it would be more significant than any symbol of their love before. His gesture was a caveat to her concession to any crumbs of uncertainty that lingered before her.

If this wasn't what love looked like then she'd prefer to be blind to its form because in Rick's cerulean blues she saw patience and kindness, she saw selflessness, she saw love shining from him and it was brighter than any star held in any constellation.

She saw a man who would help an elderly couple take a picture. She saw a man willing to love her even though she carried another man's child. She saw a man loving her son as though he came from his loins. She saw a man who would plaster post it notes all around the house to help guide his amnesiac wife. Her inverse positioning of feeling anchorless and adrift for the past weeks was juxtaposed now by a feeling of _home._ Only in her discovery, that rush she had all night of feeling like home wasn't a feeling at all but an identification in a person, it was Rick; Rick was home.

"The cupboards just holds the basic stuff I'm not sure of what you need to make...umm your stuff and things but just tell me and I'll get them for you."

"I'll make you something." She didn't know what but her first official piece belonged to him. Pottery helped her get to this point along with the advice of those who loved her without question. Working with clay helped her to accept it's fluidity, the art was like life itself; it was a process and there had been times when the piece she spent so much time on didn't work out as she expected. She learned that sometimes stepping away was necessary to reset, to readjust. Upon her return she realized looks could be relative as she witness the beauty in her brokenness. There was a measure of gratitude knowing there was purpose to her pain all along.

Rick didn't see her as an empty vase but as a vessel to fill with more of his love, helping her grow in the process and taking the barriers off her limitations.

She had sussed out his honesty and knew she could trust him with her body.

She was emboldened when she walked towards him until they were toe to toe, her arms closed him in bringing them chest to chest. She tongued him like a wanton woman, greedy with a fire and a passion that staggered them both. He moaned into her mouth as his hands sought purchase on her ass. He squeezed her flesh there, pulling her hot center on his. She was barely staying afloat in the sea of arousal that had overtaken her. Rick pulled away from the ravishing of his mouth, needing to know they were on a road leading to the same place.

"Michonne, what're we doin' here?"

She answered by unzipping his pants. He stared at her holding her chin as he tried to take the tremble out of his voice as he spoke. "Michonne…" he dragged her name out in a soft voice, "You sure? Because once I start touching you I won't be able to stop."

She stepped away from him and he thought she was having second thoughts but she loosened the wrap in her dress in a slow manner, tugging it off her shoulders and letting the material slip off her body landing in a pool on the floor killing any resolve he had at investing in a half hearted dalliance with the sexiest woman he knew.

Rick's mouth watered and his dick twitched at the earthy sight of her in her black panty and push up bra. Her breasts looked swollen from the confines of her cups and his fingers itched to touch them.

"I don't want you to stop Rick."

"Michonne…."

"You want me Rick?" As bold and determined as she was she needed to know he found her desirable.

Want was too tame to describe the boiling need he had for her. "More than you could ever know."

"Then give me a memory I can use." She walked to him and kissed and licked on his neck as his hands found their way to her ass again kneading her flesh greedily. It had been so long. He missed his wife, her perfume was suffusing his senses escalating his thoughts to them naked on the ground with her undulating beneath him. He palmed her breasts still encased in her bra enjoying the rough feel of the material in his hands. He was fully aroused, grateful she had already loosened his belt and zipper. Michonne kissed all over his neck then left a litany of kisses all down his chest until she was bent at the knees facing his erection like a happy kid about to suck a lollipop.

Michonne knew her panties were wet, touching and kissing Rick had dampened her underwear almost immediately. She tugged down his pants and boxers wanting to cheer when his pink dick stuck out in salute to what was about to be delivered.

She felt Rick touch her head, "Baby…" he didn't finish, he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say. The sight of her on her knees in front of him was his undoing, he was about to get resurged. It had been a long time since Michonne had given him life like this.

"Sshh." She quieted him before taking him all the way in her wet, hot mouth.

He was silent at first, unable to speak as her skillful mouth bobbed up and down on his dick. Her tongue stroking the fire that burned in his belly in ways he hadn't felt before with her.

He needed to touch her pussy so badly, with his tongue.

Michonne continued her craft and Rick continued playing with her braided locs. He needed something to hold onto because his wife was going at it like a speed racer. If she continued at this pace she was going to suck the life out of him.

What a way to go though.

"Baby." He held her chin as she let him go with a loud pop.

"My turn." He said with promise. There was nowhere in the pottery room suitable for what they were about to do. He placed a single chair that had been part of their old living room set in a corner for when she needed some rest but he couldn't determine its strength from what he saw at a glance.

"Maybe we should go to our room, I don't want you uncomfortable in here." He said trying to be chivalrous which was causing his body unnecessary strain.

"Rick I want you right here. Right now. Don't make us wait any longer." She pleaded with her soulful eyes looking straight through him.

"No...let's not...let's not wait." He took the sheet that was covering the kiln and laid it on the floor so her beautiful body wouldn't press against the cold tiles. Michonne laid down with some help from Rick, still clad in her bra and panty set. He knelt beside her passing a hand over her belly feeling her quiver under his touch.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you." He said when his hand dipped into her underwear working through her wetness until his finger penetrated her moist canal.

"I know." She said allowing her legs to fall apart wanting him to intrude further.

Her breathing was already out of rhythm at his touch. Her nipples fully exposed to the cool air in the room once he pulled the straps down her arms. She reached to hold his dick in her hand and continued to rub him while he was rubbing her. She smelled her arousal as he continued stroking her with his fingers.

"Rick….I know I don't remember our beginning but I know I don't want to go any longer without knowing what you feel like inside me."

She didn't understand the potency of her own words. He didn't hesitate positioning himself between her legs as one hand still rubbed her nub, causing her to writhe below him.

He pushed into her slowly at first because it has been almost six weeks and she was tight around his slim fingers.

"Aaghh." She let out a loud moan, welcoming his sweet face over her body as he stroked her deeply.

"Shit Michonne. Your body is incredible. I missed you."

He began to pick up his pace when she clutched his ass in a power play.

Rick's stroke game had her in a dizzying state. With every stroke, in and out his eyes never left hers and she was lost in a trance when she looked at him. Her hips rose to meet him matching his thrust for thrust, they both struggled with composure wanting to do what the other wanted but still needing a release that had been a long time coming.

He pulled out again and kissed her belly with a delicate devotion that left her with short breaths. He kissed the tiny stretch marks on her hips and dipped to her glistening pussy. His tongue found her trembling under his mouth. She pressed into his heated mouth. He took his dick in his hands giving it a few long strokes before she urged him inside again.

He found her sweet spot and continued on his mission to have her undone in his arms. They moved in wild tandem as he buckled and she bawled feeling the march of their pending orgasms approaching them. He lapped at her breast while he moved inside her, their scents mingling with the newness of the room.

He slipped out of her again tapping her hips and nodding his head for her to turn over.

"Rick please…."

She couldn't take much teasing, she was already on the brink of her climax; her bundle of nerves was throbbing with need and she only needed Rick's perfect touch to send her over. Sticking her ass in the air she heard him hiss and knew the imagery would be enough to send him over too.

"You always loved to tease me like this." His smooth voice, that sounded even more southern with his arousal was hot in her ear.

"I'm the tease?" She wiggled under his hold and her breath caught when he entered her from behind in one fluid motion that set her body on fire. He smoothed the highway of her back with his hand as he entered her. A light sheen of sweat had surfaced on their bodies. She was bouncing on him now and seeing the slight jiggle of her ass on his dick had him spiraling. His pace grew rapid, he reached to her front and rubbed her frantically knowing the pressure she liked to feel there. He was like a captain commanding a vessel and he knew the course to take her to the land of buried treasure.

"I took a pill today." She said over her shoulder, "Just in case. My period is messed up but I wanted us to be careful if we….." She was rambling because she didn't know what their routine was for birth control and after confessing her period dilemma to Rick he confessed that before the accident they had been actively trying for a child.

She told him there was no way she could be pregnant contributing her skipped period to the stress and upheaval she had been through which her doctor advised at her last check up was normal. Inherently she knew if she was pregnant, if somehow she had a baby, Rick's baby growing inside her she would know. Her doctor's appointment tomorrow and test results would further substantiate the symptoms of her brain injury and how best they could treat with it going forward. She couldn't imagine having a child she had no memory of creating, the thought remained foreign to her.

Rick nodded his head and before they got taken out of the moment she reached for his hand as she urged him with her body to continue his movements. His hand was roaming her back, her belly, her face as he needed to touch her while he touched her deep inside. Her shapely body from behind was too much for any man but with him he knew exactly what to do with it and he prided himself on the fact. He felt her bounce grow frantic and he knew she was close.

He leaned over her, his chest to her back and sucked on her earlobe as the blood raged in his dick.

"You gonna come for me Mich-onne? You gonna come all over this dick?"

"God Rick! Yes! I'm coming." Her nails dug into his arms with her release and he felt her walls clenched against him.

Her voice was lost when her body convulsed and she was shaken to her core by Rick's knowledge of her body and the ways he could get her off.

He was still going strong at it, separating her ass cheeks everytime he slipped back inside her.

He was in a trance of sorts, unable to lend his attention elsewhere as he savored the feel of being inside his wife again. Even as he felt his seed build up and shoot out inside her. He was unable to move from his positioning for a few seconds.

Her body was still heaving when he collapsed next to her, bringing her flush against him. Michonne laced her hands through his curls as he kissed her neck.

"I love you." His voice was so certain, his sentiment cemented in his brain.

"Was it always like this? So explosive?" Her body felt exhausted from Rick's thorough loving but she was fighting the sleep because she knew they couldn't spend the night in the shed.

"Right at the start. Even when you had belly all out to here." He touched her belly then showed with an expanse of his hand how her baby bump extended but it didn't deter him from worshipping her from head to toe. Rick fell in love with her when she was pregnant before and he never regretted it.

"My body is still humming. That was life altering. When can we do it again?" She knew making love with Rick wouldn't leave her unchanged.

His minx had return in full swing, she wasn't going to give him any rest.

"Let's have round two on a real bed babe, besides the floor is cold and I don't want you getting sick."

Reluctantly leaving her side he began to gather her clothes.

"On our way up could we grab some ice cream? And my cake? I have a taste for something sweet."

A mischievous grin landed on his face and realization hit her. "Oh God! That's what the ice cream is for? It's for after we have sex?" She slapped a hand to her forehead.

Rick nodded pressing his lips together. "You have a post sex sweet tooth and it rubbed off on me."

"Well I can see why, that sex is implanted on my brain now, she isn't forgetting that anytime soon."

They laughed at her amnesia joke together.

Rick heard his father's words echoing in his mind as he looked at his wife. The journey he had been on with Michonne since the accident was no easy feat. There were days he felt defeated and was unable to see a way out, it only grew worse when she moved out of their home albeit temporarily. He had been crushed by loneliness but more determined than ever to help put his family back together. They were going to come back from this. He was glad to know that just like flowers in a garden, things break but they could still grow

* * *

There was a small tiger figurine on Dr King's desk in his small but neat office. Michonne wondered if he liked all cats or was it just the big striped one that held his interest.

"You're nervous? Don't be. I'm sure everything is fine." Rick tried to calm her nerves by resting his hand on her thigh, she was shaking her leg; an anxious tick she didn't know she had before as they waited on her test results.

"I just wanna get this over with. I don't wanna hear that I have permanent brain damage or anything of the sort." It was her worst fear given her prolonged symptoms. She didn't want to suffer this loss forever, she was making progress especially with Rick and the magnificent night they spent in each other's arms but she wanted their memories to return at some point. She had missed out on so much already.

"Come here." He opened his arm to her and although sitting side by side in the gray chairs she leaned into him letting his reassurance wash over her. She closed her eyes and saw the same image of Rick over her again, his bare chest rubbing against hers as he pushed into her over and over. The image startled her and she question its validity as a legit memory. The image wasn't from the night before and she wondered if it was from a time she couldn't recall.

Was she having a memory flash? Could she trust it? She didn't know. Before she could fill Rick on the going ons of her brain Dr. King walked into the office, a folder in his hands.

"Mrs. Grimes, Mr. Grimes I trust all is well with you." He shook Rick's hands as he sat down.

"I think I have some good news all around."

Rick held Michonne's hands as they listened to the news, she was so happy Rick was here for her to lean on. She knew whatever the doctor had to say they would face it together.

"There aren't any new lacerations on the brain and the area that received the initial blow looks good on the scans. Brain waves also indicate normal activity. So minus your memory returning to you on its own I'm giving you a clean bill of health. Now onto other matters, your blood tests returned -"

"You found something?" Her voice trembled with the question, was he going to tell her he had found a disease? Something else to further impair her?

"Babe let's just hear what he has to say." Rick tightened his hold on her feeling the fear tense her body.

"We found that your hCG levels were very high which in hindsight explained your nausea. The symptoms were similar to the side effects of brain trauma so it skipped us both."

"What exactly are you saying? What skipped us both?" Her heart was about to burst through her chest from waiting.

"I'm saying I'm pretty sure you're around five weeks pregnant."

Rick tilted his head to the the Doctor who had that same expression plastered on his face when he told him Michonne had retrograde amnesia. "Michonne is pregnant?" He didn't know what emotion was appropriate here, he looked at her and her face was a blank page. In fact he was certain she was about to burst into tears as soon as the news of her pregnancy settled.

"Yes she is, I've set up an appointment for her at the clinic. You two should head over there to make sure everything is ok."

"I'm not pregnant. Take the test again." She wanted to throw up at the thought of her unawareness of a child growing inside her. What kind of mother was she?

"I would know if I was pregnant. I have no feeling about this. Take the test over." She rather dwell in the land of doubt and disbelief than believe she could be so callous about the workings of her own body.

"Michonne, blood tests are more accurate than a pregnancy test but if you want you can take one to confirm it." Dr. King looked perturbed by her response even under her circumstances.

"I'm. Not. Pregnant." She looked at Rick and the Doctor, her face a hard canvas as she steeled herself from her naked horror.

She pulled her hand from Rick's hold feeling unworthy again of his love. A woman knows, a woman noticed the changes in her body that a pregnancy brings first-hand but her memory loss had stolen another thing from her. Was she ever going to beat this thing?

Tears spilled over her lids filling up her cheeks with teary streaks that had no stop in sight.

She was carrying Rick's child and she had no memory on how or when he had been conceived.


	10. A Trip down Memory Lane

**A/N: Sorry this update took so long I struggled a bit. Thanks for all your insightful reviews. They mean more than you know.**

 **Lo and Maddy, I love you guys.**

 **Sophia**

* * *

"Deanna? What are you doing here?" Rick was surprised to see his mother in law at his dining table with the boys doing their homework instead of his wife who usually ran point on all homework activities.

"Michonne called, asked me to come stay with the boys until you got home." He heard the sliver of concern in her tone and wondered how long his wife had opted to be alone.

"How long ago was that? Did you check on her? See if she needed anything?" He placed his sheriff's hat on the counter and greeted his sons, careful to keep his voice low from disturbing them as they appeared to be absorbed in their homework.

"I did but I think you're the one she needs right now." Deanna tilted her head upstairs, her fresh bob haircut perfectly coiffed, giving Rick the all clear to check on Michonne.

It wasn't hard to deduce she was having another bad day if she called Deanna over. He had high hopes this tortured emotion she was experiencing would dissipate soon. Three days had blurred into each other other since they received the news she was pregnant. He was still plagued with the guilt of feeling so happy about it while she was suffering through what having a baby meant for her. It was everything they ever wanted and she was too disappointed in herself to enjoy it. It pained him to know she couldn't remember how badly they wanted a baby and how much she believed in his promise that they'd make one soon enough.

"Probably forty five minutes" Deanna responded trying to give her grandsons her full attention.

"I'm gonna go check on her. Boys I'll be back down for dinner soon okay. I'll bring Mom."

He jogged up the staircase, entering their master bedroom with a cautious gait; he didn't want to scare her.

The scent of coconut and verdana lured him to their lavish bathroom.

"Michonne? Babe?" She was soaking in the bathtub, eyes closed and her cheeks tear stained. Soap suds barely covered her swollen breasts but he was drawn to her saddened expression; seeing her in distress broke his heart.

He knelt at the side of the tub and stroked her pretty face, erasing all trace of her tears with his thumb.

Her mahogany orbs, darkened from the absence of light, made way to his face; her eyes were still captivating even though they held some measure of pain in them.

"Baby? Tell me what can I do. Tell me what you want?" He would move the sun if she needed him to, anything that would bring back the smile she wore only a few nights ago.

She sat upright in slow motion, careful not to splash him with any of the water. "I just want a day where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore." There was a crack in her voice when she spoke and she was grateful there wasn't any judgement in Rick's eyes, only empathy.

"I know you do. How are you feelin'? Any mornin' sickness?" The nausea still plagued her and from what he remembered, she told him she was the same way with Andre in her first trimester.

"I wasn't feeling well after the boys got home. That's why I called Mom. I'm sorry I know they need me but…." Her eyes were tired, he knew she hadn't been sleeping which meant he wasn't either. He usually fell asleep after she did thinking of ways to help her.

Before the accident they were soundly rooted in the roles they played in each other's life. He lead their small town with fairness and heart but it was a known fact she led him with the strength of her love and the power of the faith she had in him. It was a firm constitution their marriage had been set up on. Only now there was a contrast in their relationship, a switching of positions somewhat as he deliberated how best to deal with her uncharted insecurities.

"Hey there's no need to apologize. We're all here to help you. Your fingertips are beginning to prune. Can I get you out of this tub? Outta this cold water?"

She had lost track of time since she'd been upstairs but the soak had soothed her stray thoughts for a bit.

She nodded and Rick took her hands, carefully helping her step out of the tub and onto the fluffy bath mat. He took her blue terry cloth robe off the rack and patted her delicate naked body dry before wrapping her in the soft material. He was happy she was no longer shy with him in that sense but he wished she could be naked with him with what she was feeling too. Once her legs were dry he swooped her up in his arms for the brief journey to their bed.

Her unexpected laughter echoed in the room, it was the first time he heard her laugh so genuinely since they left the doctor's office.

"You didn't have to do that. I'm probably so heavy now." She said when he sat her down and joined her on the bed.

"You're light as a feather still."

"For now." She joked, it was also the first time she made any kind of reference to the child she carried. In Rick's face she saw a joy she didn't catch before or maybe she decided to ignore it altogether because she couldn't match it with anything she was feeling or rather not feeling.

She was too absorbed in the self afflicted agony of not feeling any connection to the child in her womb and how that affected her connection with Rick.

Silence invaded the space where laughter dwelled seconds before creating more unnecessary tension between them. She didn't want to remain so closed off, not with him, not when he did everything he could to open her up again. So she chose sharing over selfishness, needing to shred her volatility and shame of what she was feeling with the one man who loved her in spite of it all.

"I think something is wrong with me for feeling so detached from this baby. I want to feel the joy of carrying this life but it's just not there. I see it now, the subtle changes in my body that I probably ignored in hindsight but I feel like I don't deserve this gift."

He didn't think he'd feel so relieved by the glimpse of her guilt, he couldn't begin to imagine carrying a child you couldn't remember creating or even craving. He thought it took real strength to power through it all and not weakness to acknowledge it like she was doing.

He held her hand in solidarity, her enemy was within and if he could help her conquer it the enemy on the outside, which was her lack of milestone memories would pale in significance.

"This is what we wanted for so long Michonne." He'd been making plans for more children since the day he looked into her eyes.

"I wish I remembered wanting this baby with you Rick. I'm just learning Carl and Dre all over again. Suppose I mess this one up." Her confliction was buried in a misplaced sense of irresponsibility. She couldn't remember anything about the last few months of her pregnancy with Andre, there was no recollection of how he came into the world or what he felt like when they placed him on her chest when he was born. She only remembered her friendship with Carl that solidified over a few Skype calls, she didn't remember the evolution from friends to family and it was a burden in her heart. Her only consolation was how much she knew she loved her boys. She knew she didn't have their memories anymore but she wanted to give them a hopeful future. Did she deserve a baby in the midst of her inadequacy?

Her fears were holding her back from loving this child, from feeling that indescribable bond between the three of them that stemmed from the love they had for each other. He felt he had the power to help her through this one he just wished he knew the right mechanism to employ.

"At least you get this one from scratch, you'll know what he or she are allergic to right away." His retort pulled a laugh from her liabilities that gave him a little hope.

"I'm glad you find that funny." Her spirits were lifted knowing in the midst of such a challenging conversation she and Rick could laugh at something so serious. Their bond was too special to ignore, with everything that was going on, the highs and lows of her mutilated memory, she saw how critical her friendship with Rick was and grew even more thankful it had stayed intact despite all the things that could've so easily separated them.

"Michonne, look at me." He held her chin and guided her pouty face to his own, "You're a great mother and you'll be a great mom to this baby too."

"But how do you know?" She witnessed his face softening towards her and what he said broke her obstination at being happy down to nothing.

"Because...you have all the qualities God knew our kids would need in a mom." He snaked his way under her robe and touched his palm against her cool stomach, creating a deeper intimacy between them. "And that includes this baby too."

Tears glistened in her eyes, she needed to know he had faith in her to do right by this baby despite her malfunctioning memory and his words so softly spoken trampled her trepidation.

He was holding her hand and helping her outrun her restrictions. They were jumping together.

"I'll keep him safe Rick. I promise." She needed him to know he could trust her with something so precious, that she wouldn't screw it up like she had screwed up so many things between them.

He slipped his boots off and sat against the bed frame pulling her robe wrapped body in his arms.

"I know you will Michonne. I never doubted that for a second. " His hand grazed her still flat belly again, "He or she couldn't be in a safer please. You can't beat yourself up over this anymore. We'll miss all the fun parts like you yelling at me for leaving my clothes on the ground when you're in month seven, an unlimited supply of big kat bars and my personal favorite pull out free sex."

"That sounds like some serious points you're making there sheriff."

"Don't make yourself the enemy Michonne, you're not."

"I'm gonna try."

A pivotal thought occurred to him and he didn't deliberate to flow with it. He pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket, zooming in on his saved files he searched for the voicemail she left him the night of the accident and pressed play. He memorized every word and used it often to help galvanize his belief in what they meant to each other.

"This was the last thing you said to me before the accident. I um...I listen to it sometimes…"

" _Hey babe, I'm outside the house waiting on Andie. I know you're probably on the couch waiting up for me which probably means you're using my Netflix. Again. Don't you dare watch another episode of Blacklist without me Rick, I mean it! And If the boys wake up please no sugar! ….You know I was thinking about what you said tonight, you're right Rick. You've always been right about us even from the start. We're not like them. We can handle anything because we always do it together. I love you so much Rick. Don't fall asleep. We have some more baby making to do. Ok Andie's coming. You know I'm gonna give her piece of my mind right? See you in a bit."_

Listening to the conviction in her words as she spoke so assuredly to Rick gave her deep pause. They were supposed to tackle everything together. Through everything Rick never left her side even when she thought temporary separation would help their impasse. They had been working on a baby and they had been finally granted their wish.

Who was she to question a miracle?

"We wanted this baby." Hearing her own voice and the transformative power of her certitude they were going to create life that night pushed any lingering doubt out of her mind. She molded herself into him out of a necessity to be close. She wasn't going to find anyone in this lifetime to love her like Rick did and she wanted him to share in the reciprocated feeling. Why be in love with a memory when she had Rick right in front of her?

They had made a new life on the same night a marriage ended and another life had been so tragically snuffed out; she had so much to be grateful for.

She could see why it was so easy to love Rick. His arms were always strong enough to hold her when it was too difficult to stand up on her own two feet.

"We did. We do."

"Rick?"

"Yeah."

"Can we go see the doctor tomorrow? I wanna….I wanna make sure they're ok in there." she couldn't do it before but the voice note shifted her reticence making way for some delayed confidence in what she and Rick were trying to build.

He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, she was being brave and that's all he ever wanted. "Thank you."

* * *

 **August 2013**

" _Michonne?" Rick called from the staircase._

" _In here." Her voice was faint as though she was trying to conserve her energy._

" _You're still not feelin' so hot? Maggie said she grabbed Carl from school, she'll bring him over later." His wife of two weeks was lying down on her side, her face to the window._

 _He decided to leave work early today on a whim. When he left home that morning Michonne wasn't feeling her strongest and because she was three weeks away from her due date he didn't want to be away from her longer than necessary._

 _She maneuvered to face him taking her time to move slowly, her big belly not allowing her to be as agile as she used to be._

" _I'll be okay. You know I was doing some thinking." He kissed her cheek and she waited for him to sit at the edge of the bed to continue._

" _Do you think people are gonna make a big deal over the fact that Andre doesn't look like you?"_

" _I don't care what other people think Michonne and neither should you." He didn't know what more he could say to let her know he already thought of Andre as his own._

" _You're right. Your amazing Rick. Andre will be lucky to have you as his dad"_

" _I'm the lucky one Michonne, meeting you has been the best time of my life. I promise you Andre won't lack for anythin'...anythin'." He touched the swell of her stomach needing to convey their connection. "I love him because I love the hell out of his mama. The four of us are already a family."_

 _From content to tone his confidence in his consolidation spurred Michonne on, she felt a new wave of credence and she removed any fear or doubt from her mind. Rick was always so sure about them, even from right at the start._

" _You think we'll ever have more kids?" She asked wanting to have a baby with Rick's eyes and his heart one day._

" _I want that, only if you want to." The visual of Michonne rounded with his seed gave him a primal urge to make his dream come to life one day._

" _You like me pregnant huh?" She said it with traction knowing how much he worshipped her pregnant body._

" _Maybe I just have a thing for pregnant Michonne." The smile on his face was a tease but she believed every word he said, After all that's how they fell in love._

 _Just as she was about to speak a ripple of pain shot through her stomach and her moan caught him by surprise._

" _I'm okay. It's probably just Braxton Hicks. Been doing that all day. I'm just tired and my back is killing me. Can we order take out? I didn't make anything for dinner."_

 _His fears weren't abated by her relaxed stance but because he knew how stubborn Michonne could be he opted to monitor her instead of mandating that they leave for the hospital right away._

" _I thought ahead and bought Chinese. I even got those fortune cookies you like so much." Her smile was limited, her hand crawling to her lower back to massage the pain into submission._

" _Tell me about this back pain." He asked, his hands taking over the job._

" _It's just been persistent all day. I guess my body is getting ready." There was also a cramp throbbing along her left leg but she didn't want to panic over nothing. She still had three weeks to go before her baby boy arrived. She was still trying to acclimatize to being Rick's wife and Carl's step mom while trying to redecorate the beautiful house Rick had purchased for them. They were still so many rooms to unpack. The only room that was completed was the nursery and that was courtesy of Rick, Daryl and Glenn._

" _I told you, you've been overdoin' it. We have all the time in the world to unpack everything. I just want you to rest for the next three weeks. Is that too much to ask Mrs. Grimes?" He never grew tired of calling her by his last name. She was irrevocably his and soon Andre would join and complete their family of four._

 _She touched his face when he scooted on the bed next to her, his blue eyes pleading for her to loosen her reserved compliance. He rubbed her stomach which was now bigger than a beach ball, it had become his favorite thing to do._

" _We should go get Carl. I don't want him to think we abandoned him." Carl had been her shadow over the past couple of weeks. Even before their small wedding their bond had deepen. Now that their dynamic had shifted she don't want him to feel neglected especially as they were bringing a new baby into their family._

" _You think you're up for that?"_

" _Yeah I think I need to get out the house. I'll just go take a shower." She eased herself off the bed with his eager support._

" _Can I help with that?" He asked, no mischievous intent behind his offer._

" _I think I can manage." She tried her best to be independent but she was thankful Rick knew her so well. He helped her out of his oversized T shirt; she grew accustomed to wearing it because of its comforting feel and the scent of Rick that lingered on it even after it came out of the dryer._

 _He couldn't help but gape at Michonne's body, she was ripe and round with child and he couldn't think of a more beautiful sight._

 _Still in her bra and underwear she leaned over the white porcelain tub to turn on the shower when another intense surge of pain struck her, making her stagger._

" _Ooohhh."_

" _Chonne! What is it?" Rick rushed to her side and she clutched his arm to steady herself as the pain raged through her belly._

" _I don't know. I think...that was a...contraction." It was too soon._

 _Rick broke out in a light sweat at her admission. Michonne still had three weeks before she delivered. He did a mental checklist of the things he needed to do._

" _I'm calling your doctor. We're going to the hospital." He yanked his phone while doubling to take off the shower and guide her back to the bed._

" _First babies take their time to come. Or at least so I've heard." Her panted breath didn't give away the concern in her tone._

" _I'm not taking any chances Michonne. We're going!" He glanced at his watch to time her contractions and saw her double over in pain. His heart rate sped up, his birthing experience was limited, he missed Carl's birth because he had been out of town when Lori went into labor, by the time he got word and returned home Carl had already made his debut and he and Lori were resting comfortably. Lori never really got over him missing Carl's birth but he was here with Michonne now and he wasn't going to leave her side._

 _They moved together trying to get her some fresh clothes, after picking up their pre packed baby bag they went downstairs. She sat on the couch working through a contraction while Rick called their parents to let them know to meet them at the hospital._

 _She knew the word would spread like wildfire given the express grapevine their clan operated with._

 _Rick reached for her on the couch prepared to lift her in his arms when a gush of water soaked through her leggings darkening the rug on the floor._

" _Rick!" Michonne hadn't felt a pain so intense in her life. The pressure built at her centre and her knees gave out. She had an urgent need to push, pain and fear launching her into hysterical breaths._

" _I think I need to push Rick. I can already feel something down there!" She sunk to the ground desperate for a place of support. She realized she was unable to wait for a twenty minute ride to the hospital. The pressure was building between her legs, it looked like her son didn't want to wait. Andre was coming and he was coming now._

" _Michonne! We can't have him here!" He needed her around the best doctors and nurses and medication should anything go wrong. He didn't want to chance her and Andre in less than stellar circumstances like the floor of their living room. He had brief medical training at the academy but he never delivered a baby in his life. Certainly not one so important to him._

" _I'm scared Rick." Michonne said reaching for his hand and gripping it like a lifeline. His fluster would've been cute under different circumstances but she was panicking at the unexpected, they both were._

 _He had to be strong for the both of them, the last thing he needed was fear of the unknown clouding his decisions. Michonne and Andre needed him._

" _Look at me." He touched her face and assured her with one sweep of his eyes._

" _We can do this."_

 _Faith renewed, she answered, "I know we can." After making a quick check he discovered she was right in what she was feeling, she was almost fully dilated and that deduction was based only because of the forty something birthing videos she made him watch on youtube over and over again._

 _Rick took his phone out while running to the laundry room to get some clean towels. He called Maggie to let her in on the update; Michonne was in labor and the baby had already positioned itself. Maggie promised to let everyone know and to send an ambulance to his address stat._

" _I need to push Rick!"_

 _He stationed himself at her entrance, she had taken off her pants and hunched up on her elbows trying to see past the round ball that was her belly._

" _Shit! I think I see somethin!" He sounded more in awe than anything else. She wished she could laugh at their delirium but the crushing pressure she was experiencing sent her body in a strained push, backed up by a painful grunt. She didn't know if she would have the strength to do it again._

" _C'mon baby breathe. Remember what we learned?"_

" _Forget the damn breathing Rick! I just want him out!" She collapsed against the floor, no longer able to hold herself up. She had to distribute her energy wisely. Andre's head felt as big as a watermelon and at the moment he was trying to come through a lemon size portal._

 _Her contractions had decreased which was why she was ready to push, everything was happening so quickly. "I gotta push. I gotta push."_

" _The ambulance should be here soon if you wanna…."_

" _If I wanna what? Wait? No. I can't...I can't…" She spoke through gritted teeth._

 _Rick's hands were between her legs and he felt the crown of Andre's head and knew they really didn't have any time to waste. He grabbed her hand and held onto her thigh giving her encouragement to push._

 _Michonne had so much strength, he couldn't begin to tap into the heights and depths of it. "I love you so much Michonne." She almost broke two of his fingers with her pushing but she was such a powerful sight._

" _His head is out! C'mon babe one more push and that's it! You can do this Chonne! I'm right here. You can do this!"_

" _Oh my God. " Her breathing was chaotic but the tightness in her abdomen had subsided greatly when her body thrusted forward and Andre slipped out with a plaintive cry at the disruption to his home for the past few months._

" _Rick marvelled at the sight in his hands. Counting ten fingers and ten little toes, the beautiful ball of perfection looked up at him with the most mesmerizing brown eyes he had ever seen, his loud shriek announcing to the world he was finally here._

" _Hey buddy. We've been waiting for you?" Rick said his voice almost to a whisper._

 _Michonne fell in love with Rick again watching him hold her son._

" _He's beautiful Michonne. You did good kid." He teased placing Andre in the crux of her arm. The sweet baby boy latched onto her index finger as Michonne sprinkled soft kisses all over him._

" _He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Hey Andre. I can't believe you're here. We've been waiting for you. That guy with the blood all over his shirt, the guy whose face you first saw and voice you first heard when you came into this world? That's your daddy..." Michonne saw Rick wipe a tear from his eye and she too had cried out of sheer joy and the raw emotions that had gripped the room._

" _I love you too Daddy" She was exhausted beyond measure but Rick had been her rock and she couldn't have asked for a better partner to walk through life with._

" _I think I hear the ambulance." Smiling was easy now knowing his wife and precious son were safe._

* * *

Now that the boys had left for their fun sleepover at the farm and she had some time to herself Michonne decided to watch the DVD Sasha presented to her after the wedding rehearsal. Sasha advised her to watch it when she was alone. She was intrigued by what could be on the DVD once Sasha confessed it wasn't a war movie; her sisters favorite or a copy of somebody's sexcapades. She cleared her day to focus on its content. Rick was due home in an hour or two and she decided she'd view it before he got home so they could have the rest of the evening to themselves.

Wrapped in a brown wrapping she tore off the paper and chortled when she read the highlighted label.

 _ **Title: You had me at 'Im pregnant with another guy's baby.'**_

Popping the DVD in she settled on the couch, clutching the pillow to her chest as though she knew she needed some kind of anchor for what she was about to witness.

Without preamble Rick, Daryl and Sasha appeared on the screen, she wasn't sure what was happening yet but she was already laughing and preparing herself for the antics about to be showcased.

The camera focused on Rick who was about to speak.

She grew quiet when the person holding the camera, she was yet to deduce who, focused in on Rick's face. He was dressed in a black shirt and his usual black jeans, he added one of his famous cougar hats to the getup and his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. He looked like he was made for the big screen; like a celebrity caught doing something mundane and was being reported on E News.

She could envision him playing a role in a movie; someone with authority and control but plenty of heart; a hero type maybe. He fit that role perfectly in her eyes but Rick was modest and humble, he would never adapt to the celebrity lifestyle. Plus he had bad style sometimes, there was a certain yellow sweater he defaulted to every time they had to go out and she had to shut it down; she loathed the thing. The media would rip his wardrobe ensembles apart.

Snapping out of her daydream about her husband as a not so stylish celebrity she returned her attention back to the home movie at hand.

"Hey babe. I know you've been having a hard time lately with everything, including things you can't remember but really want to. So we all got together and did this...umm..movie of how we met. It was an ordinary day, nothing exciting to write home about but it was one of the best days of my life, rivalled only by our wedding day. I hope when you see this...play or whatever you wanna call it.." He let out a dry laugh as though he couldn't believe they were really doing this. "You'll get an idea of how things were in the beginning and you'll see it's okay to make new memories from here on out." He closed off his opening commentary with a sexy wink.

Rick moved out of the view of the camera and a surprisingly neat and tidy Daryl costumed in Rick's sheriff hat was walking towards Sasha, who Michonne assumed was supposed to be her. Her sister had a misshapen pillow stuck under her blouse trying to recapture her four months pregnant state when she met Rick.

Michonne was in awe. She couldn't speak if her life depended on it. Lucky for her she had the house to herself because she was moved to tears and the movie was only past the introduction. What she saw overwhelmed her heart. She took up the remote once her excitement had abated a bit and increased the volume.

She wasn't sure whose home they used for the production or even when they all found the time to come together for their drama but she was deeply touched by the lengths her family never failed to extend themselves to for her.

This was absolutely ridiculous but so perfectly sweet and hilarious.

"Hey girl. I think you're fine wanna ride on my bike?" Daryl said adjusting Rick's sheriff's hat on his slicked hair.

"I don't speak like that." Rick said from off camera.

"That! Is how you talk to a woman?" Sasha exclaimed clutching her chest and breaking the fourth wall.

"Hey I'm trying to bring my own take on my character." Daryl said in his defense of his artistry.

Sasha slapped his arm, "This isn't the Daryl and Rosita love story! it's Rick and Michonne you fool!"

"Hey! Don't call my man a fool!" Rosita said coming from the side wearing a self made hat with the word director on it, she was sure to include glitter embellishments. Michonne laughed at how serious everyone took their roles for the homemade video. Everybody had a critical role to play in their flick.

In trying to shake down Daryl for him to focus, Sasha's pretend baby bump fell out from underneath her top. She stopped and stared at the ground as though the floor had kidnapped her fake bump, then shouted "Wardrobe! Come fix my fake belly!"

Michonne threw her head back and laughed at her sister's clowning. The camera shot to Rick, he looked defeated at the disorder of his good intentions. His hands went to his hips as he stared at their friends.

Despite his unrest he looked good enough to eat, she wanted to kiss him into a smile seeing him with that frustrated scowl on his face.

"You know...we don't all look alike! Why do I have to be Michonne?"

"Guys can we get back on track here?" She heard Rick's voice again.

"Yes from the start people! This isn't what we rehearsed!" Rosita snapped her hands together like a clapperboard.

Learning they had rehearsed and things still came out so chaotic sent Michonne into a fit if giggles.

"Fine." Daryl adjusted the hat and focused his feigned attention back to Sasha.

"Hey Michonne, I think you're beautiful. Can I take you out?"

"Rick I would love to but I'm four months pregnant with someone else's baby." Sasha who was always up for flare and dramatics pressed a hand to her forehead.

"It doesn't matter to me. I still want to be with you. Carl already loves you." Daryl said taking Sasha's hand. In creeped Glenn in a baseball hat and a few comic books in his hand.

"Please Michonne marry my dad. I think you're so cool!" Glenn's high falsetto was a shock to everyone, they couldn't comprehend his need for such a high tone to pretend he was Carl.

"Glenn! You're Carl not an opera singer!" Maggie called from offside. Michonne thought she was the executive producer of the circus show, it fit her sister in law's personality so well.

"C'mon man! I need to get outta this damn sheriff uniform! Why do I even have this on? Michonne met you in the city?" Daryl was complaining, his muscles were testing the strength of Rick's uniform.

Calvin Harris 'When I met you in the summer' began to play from speakers she couldn't locate on the screen.

"Abe! What are you doing here?" Sasha exclaimed as her fiance graced the lens with his burly presence, a bluetooth speaker in his hand.

"I came to rescue you from this slimeball!"

"We're acting you idiot! Now you've ruined the whole thing!" Sasha looked around and her eyes sought Maggie, "I'm sorry I can't work like this!" She threw her baby bump pillow at Daryl's head and stomped off screen.

Rick pinched his nose bridge, accepting that things weren't going to go as planned, not with the big, crazy ass family they had.

Just as the camera focused on him again Sasha returned to the focus point and looked directly at the lens and said. "Hey sis. Sorry things didn't turn out the way Rick wanted to but I think what we're trying to show you here is that Rick loves you and any fool could see you two are meant to be." Sasha touched his arm much to his surprise at her unsolicited praise.

"There isn't anything he wouldn't do for you and Carl and Dre and the new baby."

"New baby? Michonne's pregnant?" Glenn's shocked face peaked out in front of Sasha.

"Shut up you dumbass! I told you it was a secret!" Maggie's hands widened in displeasure at Glenn's running mouth. They were all a jumbled mess in front of the camera, Michonne wasn't sure if she should be laughing or crying. Were they trying to produce a drama or comedy?

"As I was say-ing!" Sasha said trying to regain the focus on her. She knew the disaster they had on display came across like a country version of the real world and she needed to salvage the purpose of it, at least for Rick's sake. There was no way in hell she was doing another take of this mess. It was safe to say nobody was going to be winning any awards for their acting performances.

Sasha took Rick's hand and hooked his elbow with hers.

Now Michonne could stare directly at the man who made her heart quicken.

"This guy loved you right at the start! and I know how hard it must be because you don't remember how much you loved him but you're so much more than just your memories Michonne. You have so much people here for you. So be brave because you and Rick have far more ways to go." Sasha winked at the camera and walked off to argue some more with Abe. Rosita entered the frame next.

"Hey chica! Look I know things are tough right now but you're tougher than any woman I know, well besides me of course but Rick is a real one. I know I don't have to tell you this. Remember when I just started cosmetology school and we were doing your eyebrows and waxed it all of by mistake? Rick still went out with you! If that ain't love girl…." She sashayed off the camera, her two pigtails and large hoops highlighting the fact she was no basic chick.

"Yeah Chonne. What she said!" Daryl said giving the camera two thumbs up.

Rick came back into focus, his blue eyes looking like HD quality staring back at her.

"So ummm...that's how it went. Well...not really but I hope you get the point. I'm ready to make new memories with you whenever you are. I love you."

The movie blackened out and she was filled with an overwhelming lightness in her heart.

As comical as it was she was in a sea of her own tears thinking that she didn't deserve Rick. He was right, they were right. Their past wasn't as important as the exciting future ahead of them. This baby she carried that was half of her and half of Rick was that future, it was the thing that was going to bind them all together even tighter than before. Even if she couldn't remember conceiving this baby he was still an incredible gift. She thought about Andrea and Shane who wanted a baby so desperately and how their loss was the caveat for the death of their marriage, she had to cherish the gift of life inside her.

Life wasn't meant to travel backwards, her past was never supposed to be a place of residence. She decided she wasn't going to stay locked in the past, not when there were so many opportunities for love and family waiting for her to embrace it. Pain was given an eviction notice. She wasn't going to let it reside in her mind where memories used to live.

Her metamorphosis was all because of Rick, because of his selflessness and his total embodiment of what love was. She would never get over how patient he'd been with her or how good of a dad he was to their two precious boys. She couldn't wait to see how much he was going to love the new baby too. Her heart felt like it was soaring out of her chest, bouncing from cloud to cloud as she let herself loose in the emotion she was feeling. Rick Grimes had filled her heart, touched the deep recesses of her mind and touched her soul more than he touched her body.

She wasn't going to spend any more time convincing her mind what her heart knew all along.

She loved Rick and she didn't need a working brain to know it, to believe it or to feel it.

She wanted to be everything he saw in her.

She looked at the clock on the wall; it was 5:30. She had an hour max before he got home and she needed all sixty minutes of it to conduct her own shenanigans. She dried her eyes with the sleeve of her t shirt and got to work.

Tiredness ate at him, taking bites of his feet first. He all but dragged inside the house. For a minute he forgot about the sleepover at the farm, he and Michonne were alone tonight. He was dead on his feet but if she wanted to go out tonight he would do it. It would be good for her to get out of the house. As he walked up the tiled driveway and walked around to the back as was his custom; it was an easy way to secure the parameters while walking into the room his family occupied most days around the time he was arriving home.

Michonne?" He called, silence permeating the spotless kitchen. His nostrils flared as the scent of steak and potatoes enticed him to the stove. She had cooked and it was another one of his favorites. She created a feast; garlic steak with asparagus and cheesy potatoes. His mouth watered, ready to dive in after the day he had but he needed to check on her first before he stuffed his face. Maybe they could do dinner and a movie Grimes style tonight.

Before he could proceed further into the house his peripheral vision caught tiny yellow flashes of paper on the cupboard, on the counter and the fridge door. Someone had created a sticky note fiesta in his kitchen and he missed it upon entry. Curiosity made him scan a few and he recognized Michonne's sexy, cursive penmanship before he could comprehend the words.

What he read made his throat dry and his dick hard. He swallowed and read a few.

 _ **The honor of your presence is requested in bed.**_ There was an arrow pointing to the yellow paper trail and he took two steps where he read the next one in line.

 _ **To do list. You. You again.**_

He walked to the arrow pointing to the note on the fridge.

 _ **I love you, even more so when you're naked**_ _._ He read another one stuck on the fridge. The hairs on his body stood still, he wondered if he was daydreaming of Michonne again.

 _ **Grab the ice cream. Just in case, bring two tubs.**_

He got the ice cream out of the freezer and a spoon under ten seconds. There was no time for deliberation. He didn't know what was waiting for him upstairs but he was too excited to linger down in the kitchen while his mind was filled with suspense.

He followed the last arrow that lead to the staircase. On the wall were three more post it notes all in ascending order, he tried to take each step on steady feet but arousal was blurring his vision.

His hunger for food had dissipated, he now had an insatiable need for his wife.

 _ **Hurry, don't want to start this party without you.**_

His eyes blurred from his intense arousal and he managed to read the last one and almost fell down the stairs, surprised by Michonne's welcomed boldness.

 _ **By the time you get up here, you better be naked**_ _._

He took off his shirt and under shirt and left them hanging on the balcony. Next he unbuckled his belt and zipped his fly down feeling instant relief as his erect dick sprang free.

Feeling like he had climbed mount Everest because it took forever to get to their room, he leaned on the doorframe, grateful that the column was there for support because he wouldn't have had the strength to keep himself upright at the vision in front of him.

Michonne was naked in their bed, her chocolatey skin in stark contrast against their white sheets.

She was a masterpiece, a Renaissance painting come to life. Only her image would forever remain in his mind, untouched and unblemished. The slight swell of her belly turned his swollen member to a raging hard on.

"Welcome home Rick. What took you so long?" She spread her legs wide as he stood at the bottom of the bed, there was no questioning if she was wet for him. He couldn't recall walking in the room once his eyes absorbed her. It was her magnetic pull that had brought him to her courts.

"I'm here now" he said slipping off his pants. She smiled and bit her lip like she knew a secret and he didn't.

Whatever was about to happen he knew it was a night they were never going to forget.


	11. Unchained Memories

**A/N. : Hey guys, thanks for your patience. Lemme say upfront that I'm no pottery expert so I did my best. Lol. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback I've received so far on this story. They mean the world to me.**

 **Sophia**

* * *

He removed her hand from between her legs, already jealous he hadn't been the one to touch her there first. "You startin' without me?"

He kissed the slender nape of her neck, his hands flittering all over her as if he didn't have sufficient time to touch and taste every square inch of her delectable body.

"I don't want to" she said, touching his stubbled face, feeling his erection digging into her thigh.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked not just because he was taken aback by her naked display and brazen desire for him but because he knew she was having an intense battle with nausea the pass couple days and he hoped her present hunger for him meant she was able to conquer it.

"Never been better." She allowed her hand to caress his strong arms, then follow along the plains of his muscled back that flexed under her touch.

He dipped his head and licked her breasts, slipping a pebbled nipple in his mouth.

"Boys?" He asked through his nipple filled mouth.

"Good. Just settling in." Maggie had given her an update of the sleepover that was well underway with the Avengers movie and snacks; popcorn and ice cream being devoured in the boys' favorite Avengers pajamas.

"Great." He kissed the underside of her breast and made his way down to her not so flat stomach and smiled through his tender kisses when he imagined her round with his baby. "I hope -"

She cut him off lifting his head to face her with a touch of her palm, brown eyes met blue and she shook her head. "No more talking." She wanted them to speak with their bodies tonight.

He flashed her a perfect grin, "Yes Mrs. Grimes."

He leaned over her beautiful body, illuminated by the dim light of their two floor lamps and kissed her, her lips were warm, the scent of her spearmint and baking soda toothpaste lingered on her breath. He captured her bottom lip in his and glided his tongue along its fullness. He heard and felt her moan into him, she pressed her full length against him making his dick jump at the feel of her supple body undulating beneath him. Unable to hold back from ravishing her he plunged further inside her mouth, their kiss was hot, fiery and demanding, he felt her squeeze his ass cheeks and widen her legs to make room for him.

Their tongues flickered together in a duel for dominance and his mind was blown away by her aggression and her eagerness for his touch. His wife wanted him, desired him, craved him, he was the object of her affections and he felt like the happiest man on earth. Their love making in the shed had been a reconnection of sorts, it brought resurgence to his heart and to his body but after the news of the baby there was a disconnect, not a complete separation but a lingering blockage that made him feel defeated at being unable to reach her in all her dark places.

One thing he knew inherently was his wife was a trooper and found strength sometimes in the most dire of places. She was the woman who was pregnant and alone, still trying to get over a past love but still found strength to make room for a new one, she was the woman who opened up to loving a child she did not bear of her body but loved him even more so from her heart, she was a woman who saw past her own grief and struggles and sought her best friend through a heartbreaking trauma because she was suffering in silence.

In many ways Michonne was still Michonne and he needed her to understand he loved all her variations, even during the times she was grappling to find out who she really was.

His dick throbbed at her entrance, reading to plunge into her heat that was burning his skin where they touched but he wanted the moment to last. He needed this point of reckless abandon they both had on display to linger for a while. He felt her eager fingers reach out and touch him, his dick coating her fingers with his juices. When she began to move her hand up and down his shaft he lost all concentration and paused in paying homage to her breasts again.

"Chonne-" He leaned his forehead against hers, her touch was crippling but healing him from the inside out in a way he never thought he would feel so soon.

She looked up at him, kissing his lips as though he was the most delicate thing in the world.

"Rick. I saw the movie you guys made today. I saw what you did for me. What you've been doing for me every day since I got out of that hospital bed. You showed me it was okay to embrace who I am now. That you loved me the same and I don't think it all clicked until I saw the love in your eyes and the strength in your words. I want to make new memories with you but even if I don't ever remember who I am, I see my reflection in you and that's enough." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears at her revelation and Rick's blue eyes were crystal clear with the light in their bedroom as he inhaled her every word.

"I see it now. I see why we're meant to be. I believe that we are. You helped me to see who I am underneath my struggles, behind my fears and I can't thank you enough for that. I was lost but you found me." The tears that choked her voice spilled onto her cheeks.

She was so grateful Rick was with her every step of the way.

He dried her eyes with his thumbs, "Don't cry." He kissed her cheek and she guided his face back to her own as her eyes focused on his again, solemnity in her stare and sincerity in her voice, "I love you Rick. I love you so much."

He was hearing the words, in a way for the first time. He didn't know how he lived the past two months without her affirmation of what she felt for him or the potency of its strength. Strangely but rightfully so he was resurrected. His heart tugged at her words but there was freedom in her naked expression that made him bite back tears too.

How could their love feel old and new at the same time?

He pulled her in his arms as he helped them switch places. She was in his lap, her chocolate thighs straddling his muscled legs, their bedsheet bunched around them. He stared at her, unashamedly because she loved him, he knew it all along but he felt it and it was a dynamic elixir to his heart and his libido.

"I love you too baby." He was about to kiss her again but she slid herself off his lap, his dick bouncing as she came off and settled herself at the edge of their king size bed.

"Lay down." She said, her tone commanding.

He did as he was told, too turned on not to obey her.

She crawled between his legs, his dick standing straight and glistening with his cream greedy with excitement at the sight of her licking her full lips.

She swallowed him without hesitation and his whole body trembled when her warm mouth devoured his length. The sight of her bent over him with his shaft in her mouth, her smooth back, her small waist curving out to her slender hips and very round derriere almost made him climax right there.

"Mich-onne." He couldn't find his breath nor his voice but her name was both a distress signal and an anchor. He was certain she was going to kill him with her _deep_ adoration of his dick. He watched her smooth lips bob up and down on his member, he had a dizzying sensation at the feel of her tongue licking his tip and swirling it around before she absorbed his full length again like a greedy animal about to eat their last meal.

He latched onto her locks, needing something to hold onto due to the onslaught she was delivering.

He felt a tingling awareness starting in his toes, working its way up to his legs, making cartwheels in his stomach.

If she didn't stop soon he wouldn't be able to hold back.

"Mich-onne" saying her name was a struggle. "Baby…"

"Mmmmm?" She muttered in between her licks and sucks.

"I'm almost there." He raised his frame further up the bed, he knew seeing her whole body would surely send him over but he was as thirsty for her as she was hungry for him.

"Aaahh baby, your mouth feels so good on my dick." He grabbed her ass cheek and squeezed, hard.

She let him go with a pop and looked up at him an amused expression on her face.

"You like seeing that don't you?" She said moving her butt slightly for him.

"Yesss. You're the sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on." He would swear it under oath.

She blushed like a schoolgirl as though she wasn't just laying into him like a brand new vacuum seconds before. She descended again on his shaft about to swallow him whole again but he held her cheeks in his hand before she could give him a heart attack.

"Baby I'm close. I don't know if I can hold back anymore."

She looked back at him again and licked his tip, again, causing him to jump and his body to shudder. "Then don't." She returned to her delicious task.

"Aaghhhh Chonne. God that feels good. You're mouth...baby….you suck me so good."

He felt his orgasm torpedoing for him, all he could do was allow it to take him up for the ride into an underrated oblivion. He clutched her head again, her neat locks slipping through his fingers as he shuddered under her devotion, his spurts of spunk shooting out forcefully as he grunted and thrusted into her wet mouth wildly. He dropped on the bed panting like a dog in heat as he glided back to the world after Michonne launched him out of it with her intense loving. He was coherent enough to feel the bed dip and assumed she was headed to their bathroom to do her do.

She returned to his side as he stretched out on the bed still dazed at her passion in bringing him to such a strong climax.

She snuggled against his side and he tightened his arms around her, certain she could feel the strong beat of his heart knowing she was the cause.

"I don't think I've ever felt….like that before." He confessed.

"Really? We've never done…."

"No we've done that before but the way you did it, Michonne I'm unable to function right now." He kissed the top of her head.

She stroked his pecs, marvelling at the way his sculpted body looked and felt. Her husband was a sexy man.

Under her touch again he grew hard. "Down boy" he teased.

She laughed, leaning up on her elbow she asked, "You're not ready for more?"

"There's more?" He didn't know what to expect after the sticky note sex story down stairs, everything had blown his mind since he entered their room. If more was coming he was going to find a way to be ready for it.

"Tonight is all about you Rick." She said, settling herself over his erection again.

He stroked her cheek, amazed that they could still go from tender to teasing to tantalizing in seconds.

"Does that mean I get whatever I want?" His hands flirted with her already swollen breasts then reached for the tiny swell of her belly, happy to caress their baby within. His fingers descended lower to the juncture of her thighs where she was dripping wet, for him.

"Yes you get whatever you want." Her eyes closed when he touched her inner parts, he sent a jolt of electricity surging through her heated body with just the tips of his fingers.

"Feel how wet you are Michonne. Go ahead touch it for me." He guided her hands to her sex and she felt her slick folds, dripping and waiting to be dominated by him.

Rick watched her touch herself and he almost lost it when her eyes closed when her fingers found her slickness.

"You know what I want baby?"

"Mmmmhhmm" was her grumbled response.

"I want you to tell me who you're so wet for." He played with her nipples, causing her to buckle forward.

"You…"

"Say my name Michonne. I want to hear you say my name." She was almost lost in a trance with her eyes closed under the raspy sound of his voice.

He held her neck gently as she spoke. "You Rick. I'm wet for you."

"Good girl. Tell me what you want Michonne." He too was lost, floating in space as their bodies spoke a language no one but them understood.

"I want your dick inside me." The words rolled off her tongue, shook him out of his reverie, catching him off guard.

It's what she always said, what she used to say whenever they were about to make love but this time there's was a familiarity in her tone, a consciousness in her intonation that almost made him ask if she was remebering something. Her eyes were centered on him but there was no trace of recognition in the words spoken and rather break their moment he stroked his dick and slid into her moist canal, both gasping at the sensation of being inside her walls.

He flipped positions again, and it was a pleasure seeing her writhe beneath him as he thrusted into her. He pulled back and lunged forward, burying himself in her again. She was clutching his back like he had given her life, in a way he did with the baby between them.

He kissed her needing to taste her sweet lips on his as he felt his climax coming to a head after a few moments of forceful thrusting and fiery kisses. She was welcoming in her position, her legs digging into his calves, their arms wrapped around each other, he didn't know where she started or where he ended.

They were one. Husband and wife. Lovers. Best friends.

Meant to be.

He didn't want the sensation of sliding into home to end for him but he couldn't stave off his climax any longer and by the manner she was clinging to him, her frantic breaths, the tremble in her body he know she was close too.

With a clenching of their hands he buckled into her one last time right before she clutched him tightly with her pussy and let loose a silent scream as she shuddered under him, her release leaving her almost blinded.

He shadowed her as he careened off the cliff too, shooting spurts of his seed inside her and kissing her until their lips felt numb.

Slipping from inside her he moved his weight off her and dropped to the side on the bed. He gathered her in his arms still desiring to be close.

He covered their naked, satiated bodies with the patterned duvet and kissed her earlobe.

Too complete to speak they both drifted off to a contented sleep relishing in the fact their realities were far better than their dreams.

* * *

It was only eleven in the morning and she'd already dumped three sets of scrap on the large tile that rested on the ground. Maybe she had hit her artistic wall, If it wasn't for her strong desire to embellish the technique she would've given up two bad mounds ago. As much as spinning clay delivered bouts of its own zen wisdom sometimes the red earth could be even more stubborn than she was.

She learnt on day one of her pottery class it was always better to scrap the defected clay and reuse the material than try to reshape a broken, bent mound, it was a lesson that helped her in own life.

Sometimes it was okay to start over.

She adjusted her seating position, cracking her neck ready to start all over again when the shed door slid open, letting in some light into the low lit room. Rick sauntered in wearing blue denim jeans and nothing else. His washboard stomach threatening to take away all of the concentration she had worked so hard on honing in for the past few hours away with one lusty stare at her sexy husband.

"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt but I thought I'd bring you some lemonade." His eyes went to the vacant large tile on the ground that held three pieces of what appeared to be abstract clay.

Michonne was happy to see Rick and even happier to get a break from the mass because nothing she had molded had come out the way she intended, maybe a small break was what she needed.

"Hey."

"How's it going in here?" His eyes fought to not stare at her like a horny teenage boy as he took in her sexy pottery wear; she wore an armless, too tight, too short cream dress. With some added lace at her cleavage the naughty getup could pass for lingerie. Her locks were in a loose top knot giving her a frustrated artist look that he found absolutely irresistible. He knew she preferred to not let clothes constrict her but he didn't expect her to be wearing next to nothing; tantalizing his libido with the luscious view of her slender arms and toned, smooth legs.

"I think I forgot what I've been trying to create."

Rick glanced on the ground again staring at a leaning cylinder of damp clay, a mishaped bowl and a mug that looked too tall and too wide to be used.

Leaning over her he gave her an upside down kiss on her lips.

"Don't be too hard on yourself Chonne. I see the um…the...umm...vase." He lied, it looked like Daryl might've been right; she may not be the best at this pottery thing.

"You must really love me..." She laughed.

"I do."

"...because those are the scraps." She confirmed, eyeing her husband with his misplaced sense of pride in her rotten work but he was sweet for it all the same.

"Oh!" he scratched his head and bit his lip. Feeling bad enough that he couldn't make heads nor tail of her work.

She leaned backwards for him to kiss her again once her giggling had stopped and the redness in his face had subsided.

Ever since last night their usual magnetic pull had increased the force at which they needed to connect. With the house still to themselves they indulged in a lavish breakfast in bed and a heated session in the shower which tired their bodies out. They ended up retiring for a midmorning nap; a rarity in their house with two rambunctious boys on any given weekend. He folded his arms as he was prepared to bask in her aura for a few more minutes before he headed back outside where he was doing his best cleaning up their leave filled back yard.

The spectacular view of her legs spread wide as she sat on the bench he had built with his own two hands had set his feet firmly in place just wanting to observe her in her element.

There were dried spots of clay decorating her shoulders and arms and a tiny speck had made its way to her cheek. The clay calamity just added to her allure, she had no idea how attractive he found her right at that moment.

"What time did you wanna go grab the boys?" She asked watering the clay she already had recentered on the wheel to make another go at it.

She needed to present a piece for their final showcase that was due in a week and she didn't want to waste time, especially as Sasha's wedding was in a few days.

With the machine on, she centered her hand around the clay to form a circle while pressing the motor to start the throwing process all over again.

"Whenever you want to." He said still unable to move as he watched Michonne use her wheel. He had no idea what the process involved but seeing her in action, looking like a sexy pottery teacher was making him harden in his jeans.

"Babe?" She paused tilting her head back but still allowing the wheel to spin anti clockwise around the clay and under her guiding hands, she watched him with concern.

"Sorry...umm..lemme get outta your hair. I still have all the leaves to rake up in the yard."

He still hadn't budged.

She realized this was the first time he was seeing her work and it had peaked his interest. She usually came to her pottery room when he was at work and the boys were at school and the house was quiet, allowing her to concentrate and focus on the clay only.

"You like seeing me like this?" She asked knowing already what his response would be by the look in his face.

"You look amazing." His eyes were absorbing her as he took her in making her a masterpiece in his mind, one he wanted to capture her frame by frame. He had never witnessed any other form so graceful, so pleasing to his eyes than his wife at the wheel, in the pottery room he created just for her.

With thoughts of creating something functional and aesthetically pleasing for her showcase pushed to the back of her mind she allowed her mind to stray a bit when she saw the bulge in Rick's pants and the way his abs were pushing out in a showcase of their own. His biceps had good form and she imagined him out in their yard, his upper body flexing every time he moved a shovel or a rake in his clean up project.

"You wanna feel?" It took him a second to realize she was talking about the clay and not her body.

"Sure."

She moved forward on the bench, making space for his large frame to sit to the back of her.

When he did, he easily dwarfed her on the seat, their legs touched and he tried not to groan when her bottom brushed against the fly of his jeans.

"You comfy?"

"Yeah maybe you can stop wigglin' around." His hands fitted around her trim waist, trying to centre her too, making her giggle with the flirt of his fingers.

"That tickles!" She said laughing and doing the opposite of what he asked.

"What? This?" He asked, repeating the tickles at her waist again, the sound of her laughter infiltrating his whole being.

Michonne seemed like the same person yet a whole different being altogether but still the most important person in his existence and the woman he was going to love for the rest of his life.

"Focus." She said more for herself than Rick.

She took hold of both his hands, keeping one of hers on the spinning clay to ensure the mud didn't spin too much out of shape or flop completely.

When Rick's hand formed the circle with his hands she sprinkled more water keeping the form lubricated so it would be easy to shape.

The earthy scent filled the room but all he was inhaling was Michonne.

"How does it feel?" She said their hands flirting with each other as the thick clay yielded to their fingers. The high intensity of the spinning splattered some mud on his forearms getting him almost as dirty as she was.

"It feels soft...sexy." His words were a whisper in her ear and he kissed her bare neck unable to let their close proximity go to waste. His dick was straining against his jeans, it was almost painful.

She jerked her neck away from him, keeping a firm grasp on the dome she had somehow managed to keep in formation despite Rick's distracting tactics.

"Are you talking about me or the clay?"

"Clay? What clay?" He laughed dropping tender kisses on her exposed shoulders while he lavished the feel of their fingers mixing in with the moist mud.

"Rick…." She dragged out his name wondering why all of a sudden throwing clay was such a sensuous act.

"It's not my fault I can't focus when my wife is so damn sexy. This is what you always wear when you come in here?"

She nodded through more shoulder kisses.

"I've been missin' out. From now on you have a new schedule. You're making pots when I get home from work and that chair in the corner has my name on it." He could only imagine the thrill he would get watching her work.

"I'm the boss in here baby." She was in flirt mode because her blue eyed hunk was insatiable for her, just as she was for him. "So focus."

He was paying half attention, indulging in how soft and curvy her body was against him.

"Ok, So you gotta be sure to keep the clay wet. Then you pull the clay toward you. With just a light pressure on both hands as you pull. It thrusts the clay in the middle of the wheel."

He only had an image of him pulling her toward him and thrusting into her waiting, wet heat.

"Mmmmm." He said allowing the erotic feel of Michonne in his arms to bring them even closer together. After last night he didn't think it was possible but sharing in the experience that helped her maneuver through her memory loss was exhilarating as it was stimulating. He appreciated her passion, she was all shoulder movements and she was taking him on this journey with her. Her technique was practiced like it was a sport but she was still graceful like it was dance. He had witnessed art transform into a human form right before his eyes.

They were very much like the clay being molded between their fingers, their life was theirs to shape in spite of their recent ups and downs.

Amnesia wasn't a plan but after some wedging, some pinching and throwing they had ended up with something beautiful.

"Michonne…" Rick eased his hand away from the mass and then proceeded to remove Michonne's hands away from the spinning clay. The wheeled clay toppled forward, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

"Rick!? What are you doing?"

In one swoop he lifted her off the bench and she squealed but didn't complain when he set her on the vacant table standing catacorner from the wooden shelf he and Daryl had constructed.

"You were torturing me. Sitting down on that small space with your ass pressed against me Michonne. How could I concentrate on touching the clay when all I want to do is touch you baby?" He helped her slip out of the skimpy dress she wore, leaving her naked breasts to fall right into his hands and her red panty the only fabric between her and the table.

"Well when you put it like that. How could I blame you?" Her hands trekked up to his chest, playing with his light chest hairs. She reached for his curls, still neat despite the manual labor he was doing a while ago.

His eyes were brimming with love and adoration for her and a smile slipped past her lips for the umpteenth time since he'd interrupted her throwing.

"What is it? What's that smile?" He was eager to know and eager to keep it there.

"I love you." She wanted to say it as often as she could.

"I know." He wasn't being overconfident, it was said with a certain air of contentment, of acceptance and a strong confidence he felt in every corner of his soul.

She was basking in the feeling of being so carefree in the experience, so unrestricted in her love for him. Her mind was free, unfettered, and uncluttered, clear of fear and doubt of not being able to live up to her own creation of the perfect template of wife and mother that she was holding onto dear life while it suffocated her.

Finally she found the freedom in letting go.

"I love you." He said, although she saw it in his eyes, his voice held all the emotion in it.

"Thank you for believing in me, for being so understanding, for letting me go through my process. For believing in us."

"I know you would've done the same for me." Truer words were never spoken.

"I'm not sure if I ever questioned our love before everything happened. Can't imagine I did but it's not something I doubt now or I'll ever doubt again. You have my promise. You did that for me. Thank you for remembering who I am." She didn't want to cry again but pregnancy hormones coupled with endless joy, it couldn't be avoided.

She was in love and it was a memorable high. It was more than oxytocin playing its part, she was experiencing her own natural phenomena of knowing she was irrevocably tied to Rick forever.

"I've always believed in us. I always will. I promised you that on our wedding day." Rick said pulling her into his arms.

They loosened their embrace and she realized she had smudged clay on his cheek by mistake. He looked like a dork under her gaze and he scrutinized her, he didn't know what she was laughing at.

"This reminds me of that time you, Glenn and Daryl were painting the guest bedroom right after Dre's first birthday. Somehow three grown men had gotten more paint on them than if Andre and Carl had done it. I had to scrub you down in the tub. And still all the blue paint didn't come out. Do you remember that?" The words rambled off her tongue.

"Michonne…." Rick was stupefied.

"Oh my God." Her hands flew to cover her mouth.

She remembered. She remembered. She remembered.

It had been like a flash of lightning in her brain, but the vision was clear, the memory was tangible. She remembered that day perfectly. She and Rick had shared more than a laugh in the tub. They both had gotten messy pretty much like they were now.

She remembered. She had a memory. A perfect recall of something she thought she would never be able to retrace again.

"Chonne! You remembered something!" She was there in front of him and he could seriously say he loved her twice.

She began to cry. She was grateful, thankful and maybe a little relieved that her brain was getting some traction.

So many emotions flooded her but her memory jolt was too significant to ignore but needing Rick inside her trumped the breakthrough she was experiencing.

She was understanding as important and sacred as they past was she wasn't the sum total of her memories and the man in front of her was more pivotal to her existence than anything her brain could ever conjur.

She lifted herself up from the table and slipped her underwear off, then she reached for his belt buckle hastily unwilling to wait for foreplay. She just wanted him inside her.

Rick touched her stomach, never getting tired of knowing their baby was being nurtured in her body. "Do you have any idea how much sexier you are to me knowing you're carrying my baby Michonne?" It was one thing he always wanted to share with her, a child born from their fierce love for each other.

"Show me Rick." She leaned back on the table and spread eagle for him. The sight of her wetness, dripping from her centre, waiting for him spurred him on. After pulling his head and boxers completely off he slipped inside her and began to thrust as his lips latched onto hers. He had one hand on her thigh and the other on her breast, squeezing her perfection round nipple in between his thumb and index finger.

"Aaagghh yes Rick! Right there!" She leaned up throwing her hands around him in search for some balance at his welcome onslaught.

"God Michonne! You feel so good and tight." He was losing his mind feeling the level of perfection she offered him when she took him to her inner sanctuary. Her fingers were digging into his back, the strong table was shaking with every thrust they made.

They kissed roughly, sloppily, tenderly while their cores stirred with lust and love. Rick didn't let up. He was still pumping hard when she felt her body stiffen and she clenched him which was her tell.

Michonne felt she was on the cusp of combustion, her heart beat escalated and she wanted to rush to her climax instead of waiting for the explosion she knew was sure on the way, it would break her up into a million pieces and she couldn't wait.

"I'm coming!" She tried to be ready for it but it caught her mid breath and the explosion was nothing like she had ever felt before. Still pumping with ardor Rick's legs were threatening to give out as he felt the rapid beat of his heart threatened to jump through the wall of his chest.

Clutching her waist he delivered two short pumps and coated her insides as he climaxed with a loud grunt.

"That was." He let out a breath, "Amazing." He wondered if everytime she got a memory recall if they would devour each other like they just did.

"It was." She said still leaning on him as he found her dress.

She didn't want to dissect what just danced across her brain , she just wanted to bask in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Last night felt like she had started a journey, only everytime she looked into Rick's eyes she realized she was already home.

* * *

"I told you it's a secret!" She said for the third time as they walked up the grassy path that lead to the farm.

"Yeah, a secret that you're sharing with me. At least I know you girls won't be in any trouble. So the other husbands' really don't know?"

He held her hand again, like they did on the drive over to the farm; there was no denying how strong their connection and the need to stay connected had become.

"Nope! They think we're gonna get drunk and do some stuff they're not gonna approve of."

"But...you told me. Isn't that breaking the girls code?" He had slowed their walk, wanting to just look at her beautiful face under the beautiful sun and not question who had more shine, because she had won by a landslide.

"I don't want anything between us." Not anymore, not ever again.

"Come 'ere." He said but he was the one leaning in to peck her glossy lips. She wore a loose fitting peep shoulder blouse, it was peach in color and a fitted jeans paired with her Chelsea boots.

He got a good laugh in as she danced her way into them but when he saw her pouty face and her accusation that he had done this to her, he promised to take her shopping next weekend which made her smile return even brighter than before.

"Okay, in the spirit of transparency the guys are gonna go over to Abe's and watch the game and drink beer."

"And gossip…." She let her sentence hang.

"Michonne, men don't gossip!" He said incredulously.

She laughed because they both knew it was a lie; between Abe and Daryl she didn't know who was worse at keeping up to date with other people's business.

"Are we telling anyone you remembered something?" He didn't want to push her but it was a gift they both hadn't expected, they had received so much in the past two days already.

"Nah, let's just keep it between us for now." She kissed him, a sprinkle of kisses that made her feel like a teenager discovering her first love.

She didn't know if it was a one off thing. Since the flashback she got in the pottery room nothing else had resurfaced in her mind and even though she wasn't scared anymore she didn't want her family getting excited over nothing. She liked that she and Rick had these secrets just between them for now, especially as the baby secret was out. They were yet to decide when they were gonna tell the boys.

"You two gonna start neckin' on my back porch too?"

"Dad!" Rick said a bit startled when his father noticed them first.

"Come on in, it's hot outside." Hershel ushered them in through the kitchen door. He heckled them but it was clear his son and daughter in law were beaming for each other and their closeness touched his old heart, especially when he saw them holding hands.

The tiredness and defeat on his son's face was replaced by exuberance and gladness. Hershel wanted to pat himself on the back for knowing things; the couples who were meant to be were the ones who went through everything that was meant to tear them apart and come out stronger for it on the other side of pain. Like Rick and Michonne.

"Hey Hershel." Michonne leaned in to give him a kiss on his cheek.

"You two doin' alright?"

"We're good dad." Rick, still holding her hand brought it to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"That's real good son." He clapped his back.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Andre rounded the corner with a contagious excitement as he saw his parents and jumped straight into Rick's arms.

"Hey buddy! You had fun with Grandpa and aunt Maggie?" Rick asked showering his youngest son with kisses, leaning him over to kiss his mother.

"Oh yeah! We had a good time. Did you miss us?" Andre's almond eyes danced between his parents, accusation already in them.

"Of course we did silly!" Michonne tickled him and Rick had to hold him tighter so he wouldn't tumble out his hands. "Where's your brother?"

"Carl's out back with Glenn. One of the horses fractured her leg. Glenn is patching her up."

"Which horse?"

"June." Hershel answered sadly. June had been on the farm for a long time.

"Sorry to hear that Dad." Rick knew how important the horses were to his father.

"June is a strong one, a fractured leg won't keep her down for long especially when she's being cared for by people who love her. She'll come out of it stronger. Isn't that right Michonne?"

Michonne smiled at Hershel, she never forgot how old and wise he was. Even his spur of the moment metaphor hit home. "Yes sir."

"Mom! Dad!" Carl came through the back door with Glenn's stethoscope around his neck, Glenn and Maggie trailing behind him. When greetings were exchanged among the lot Carl told them he had an urgent question to ask.

"Lay it on me." Michonne said, stroking his brown hair.

"Can we buy a cow?"

"No." Rick said hastily, his tone firm.

He made his way to the kitchen table and plated two fresh biscuits and poured two glasses of orange juice for him and Michonne.

"Well can you at least think bout it?" Carl asked his hand in the air, still stumped at his father's outright negative response.

"Honey where would we put a whole cow? You giving up your room?" Michonne asked.

"Fine." Carl gave up, giving up his room was non negotiable.

"C'mon fellas, let's go grab your bags. We can discuss how much work entails mining a cow." Hershel lead the boys to their room.

There were boxes upon boxes on the table and the floor that caught Michonne's attention.

"Those are Sasha's keepsakes." Maggie answered before she could ask. "I told her I'd get this done by today but your sister had some last minute changes." Maggie's round belly was as big as the large box on the ground but she had more stamina than women who weren't even pregnant.

"Changes?" Michonne wasn't aware of any last minute changes her sister had but in hindsight realized the keepsakes project was a way to throw Maggie off and keep her occupied.

"Yeah she wanted a love note added to the keepsake, one she penned herself." Maggie shrugged understanding Sasha had two modes; monster and marshmallow.

"This from the girl who's save the date said _On June nineteenth I'm marrying an_ idiot. Marriage is gonna make her weak." She laughed.

"I'm looking forward to her bachelorette party tomorrow."

Rick cleared his throat, sipping on his orange juice. Michonne side eyed him thinking of ways to get him back if he squealed.

"Yeah me too."

"No strippers." Glenn said resolutely taking a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Don't you trust you girl man?" Rick threw out.

"I trust her, it's the freaks like Sasha and Rosita I don't trust."

"You do see this huge load I'm carryin' right Glenn?" She pointed at her belly. "I think I come with my own caution sign. You have nothing to worry about." Maggie clarified for her husband.

Rick pulled Michonne to the front of him, he leaned against the countertop and her back was to his chest. He threw a hand over her shoulder, her sweet perfume arresting his nostrils.

He couldn't recall a time when he felt this close to Michonne before and that said alot because he knew the woman in his arms inside out.

He felt bad for thinking amnesia had put them in a better place than they were before.

They were more than just memories.

"I'm just saying I don't want to get a call saying Glenn can you come get me? We're in a jail cell two counties over." Glenn was exaggerating but when the Fussy Posse got together there was no telling where they'd end up, they were too many stories to prove his theory right.

"Glenn, we got a very pregnant lady, a freshly pregnant amnesiac, a recovering narcissist, a bridezilla and yes I agree Rosita is a freak but we're obviously not functioning at our best babe." Maggie was bringing her case for consideration before Glenn not wanting to admit for a minute he had a point, a really good point.

"That's never stopped you before!"

"Let me get a whiff that you boys went to a strip club Glenn Rhee! I swear you'll be sleeping with those cows outside!" She threw a plastic cup over his head as he stood in shock by the sink.

Rick and Michonne, long forgotten by Maggie and Glenn laughed heartily, enjoying the show and their peaceful togetherness that still cocooned them.

Rick whispered in a soft voice, his breath tickling her ear, "If I ever get like that, shoot me.

"I would have to." She was still laughing at the funny duo who were still arguing about strippers.

"Promise?"

"I promise."


	12. The Right Kind Of Love

_**A/N : Hey guys, sorry for the wait with this update. Thanks to those who still follow this story. Yes Michonne's memory is finally trickling in, it's a relief to me as much as it is you. I know the road hasn't been easy but I appreciate your constant support so much. You guys have no idea how hearing from you motivates and makes me happy. As I bring this story to a close, (three more chapters to go) I thought it would be nice to ask you guys if there are any particular flash backs you may want to see before the story ends. Feel free to PM me here or on Tumblr if you have any suggestions or you can leave it in the review box. It would be my gift to you to pen something of your choosing for this story.**_

 _ **Happy reading!**_

 _ **Sophia**_

* * *

 _ **March 2018**_

" _Dre? Carl? I'm home." Rick called out, entering the kitchen through the back door. He had missed dinner again but he wisened up on his way home, with what his wife would call an impulse purchase and had come bearing gifts. It was his hope it would give him some kind of pass even though things had been beyond his control. He_ _didn't try to make it a habit, being at home in time for dinner and helping the boys with their nighttime routine was important to him as it were to his family, but Sheriff demands were absorbing him these days and he found himself apologizing more for his absence than enjoying the times he could be present with the kids and Michonne._

 _It was part of the job, being on call and accessible to the people of King County at some inopportune times. He and Michonne had discussed the critical aspects of their jobs and how much they were going to try to not let their demanding careers infringe on family time but there were times when they had to make contingencies._

 _Carl came bolstering down the stairs, "Dad!" Clad in his pajamas he latched onto Rick's leg, he ruffled his son's brown hair. "Where's your brother?" He expected to see Andre, who had been Carl's shadow the past couple months right behind him._

" _Daddy!" Andre's little voice filled the tidy kitchen, swinging his mother's hand as they descended the staircase in a slow strut._

" _Hey buddy." Rick reached for him, he slipped out of his mother's grasp at the sight of his father._

" _Hey babe." Rick said, presenting a vibrant bouquet of roses, as a peace offering for missing dinner the second time for the week. He pressed his lips to her cheek, unable to tear his eyes away from her comfortable home wear; an acid wash denim cutoffs that showed off her toned legs and purple tank top._

 _Michonne inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers and lifted an eyebrow in her husband's direction, "Flowers?"_

" _I'm sorry. For missing dinner."_

" _Mmmm." She mumbled and turned around, searching for a vase to place the pretty roses but still not giving him the satisfaction that all was forgiven. She missed him and having family time without him left everyone gloomy. She had to concede though, she understood the constraints he was working under; two of his men were down from injuries on the job and some were on leave and there was so much slack to pick up Rick had to step in and tighten the ropes. She wanted his request for new staff to come through so he wouldn't have to carry the weight of the deficit on his shoulders for much longer. She did feel a great measure of pride in him despite his absence, Rick was the truest definition of a leader: selfless, honest and empowering but the heart of his commitment to his people lay in his ability to serve and help others._

 _"How was the evening?"_

 _"It was okay. The boys did their homework and then I spent half hour on the phone talking with Andie about this divorce party she's thinking about having." She still had hope Andrea and Shane would get their act together soon. Rick kissed her on her forehead knowing how much she was hurting for their friends._

" _So I have a surprise for you boys." He stooped down to Dre and Carl's eye levels._

 _Michonne leaned against the counter observing the three most important men in her life interact; one of her favorite past times._

" _Told ya!" Carl said nudging his brother with a know-it-all smirk._

 _Andre stuck out his hand and closed his eyes, waiting for said surprise to land in his upturned palm. Rick_ _snuck outside. On tip toes she saw through the window pane, he was bending over something. Her interest was sparked by the purchase that hadn't been discussed between them before, she was just as curious as their sons._

 _He stepped back inside, a huge grin on his face, highlighting all of his handsome features, a small cage carrying a furry grey and white hamster peeking out of a blue tube in the small pen in his hand._

" _Are you kidding me?" Michonne exclaimed, cringing at the sight of the small but creepy looking rodent._

" _Babe…" Rick said slowly, not wanting to have to justify why he bought the hamster while Carl and Andre were still taking in the surprise. Michonne folded her hands and waited for his probably watered down excuse on why the purchase was necessary._

 _Carl and Andre were too shocked to speak, they stared at the furball, their hands itching to reach inside the cage to touch their new pet._

" _This is for us?" Carl asked, his voice in a high pitch of excitement._

" _Yeah buddy. It's all yours."_

" _Can I pet him Daddy?" Andre asked, looking up at Rick with superhero appreciation._

" _He, is a she son. And she needs time to adjust to us, so how about we pick out a name first?"_

 _He placed the silver cage on the table, the boys pulled out a chair each and sat with their elbows on the table, admiring the critter with a devotion Rick hadn't seen before. Between the two of them they were throwing out names, testing out which one suited their new friend best. With_ _the boys entranced by their new pet hamster Rick approached his closed off but still very beautiful wife thinking of ways to seduce her into permitting their new house guest to stay._

" _Don't even start with that look!" She said forcefully, trying her best to keep the serious tone in her voice._

" _What look?" He wasn't sure if feigning innocence with a lawyer was a good idea but it was all he had at the moment._

" _The look that always makes me say yes! You know I don't do rodents Rick!"_

 _She folded her arms again and his hands rubbed over her toned ones, loving the feel of her smooth skin under his calloused hands. "She's a cute little hamster, look at her cute little face silently judging your hamster hate." He loved to tease her like this. She glared at him with renewed focus._

" _Just hear me out ok. I feel guilty for not being around as much. At least when I'm not here I'll know they have something fun to do."_

" _Oh so I'm not fun?" She acted hurt. "Rick. You know I don't. Do. Rodents."_

 _He craned his neck, his eyebrow raised, "This from the woman who snatched the last tub of ice cream from the lady with a million piercings at the grocery store two weeks ago? You're scared of a hamster!?" He ignored her side eye, seeing her struggle to control the hint of a smile that had been tugging at her lips filled him with innocent pleasure._

" _That tub had my name on it, Piercy Mc Piercing just didn't know it. And I'm not afraid of a hamster!" It was the truth, she wasn't afraid of the hamster she was absolutely petrified of the thing and had been ever since she was a teenager._

" _Come touch it. You'll see there's nothing to fear." He tried to move her over to the dining room table where the boys sat but her feet were planted firmly on the tile in front the sink._

" _We didn't discuss this Rick." Had they discussed it she would've shut the impulsive idea down and bought the boys a goldfish instead._

" _Yeah I know but I couldn't leave her in the store, she was calling me with her eyes. Besides this is gonna teach Dre and Carl to be a little more responsible."_

 _He wasn't sure if she chuckled or groaned, "Responsible!? I know how this is gonna go Rick. I'm gonna have to feed her, clean up after her and do everything else that entails taking care of a hamster Rick! Then knowing this family she's gonna show up missing or dead and I'll have to intervene again but somehow you'll be the parent that gets the praise."_

" _Are we fighting?" He said, his tone light. He knew her intonation along with every facial twitch that she displayed the rare times they didn't see eye to eye, this wasn't one of those times._

" _Mommy do you know that hamsters come alive at night?" Dre said, giving some unsolicited information to his mother._

" _Great! Great!" She said throwing her hands in the air, turning to the cupboard to get a mug, hoping some chai tea might give her some calm._

" _And hamsters can only see in the colors yellow and green!" Andre added, giggling with said hamster darted about the pen._

" _What is he, The Learning Channel?" Michonne couldn't help but laugh at the random hamster facts, Andre had a penchant for learning odd tidbits of random things and regurgitating what he'd learnt at odd times. Rick_ _laughed at his son's genius but snaked an arm around Michonne's waist, bringing her close to him, her back touching his chest. "You're not really mad are you babe?" He kissed her cheek, and then kissed her ear knowing the response the kiss would elicit from her._

" _Yes. I am." She was mad at herself that her head had tilted slightly of its own volition to give Rick better access to her neck._

" _I don't wanna fight about this. Think about it, it'll be good practice for all of us for when the baby comes." He whispered in her ear, not wanting the boys to hear about their latest project. He_ _rubbed her belly under her top, hoping the next test they took would be a positive one._

" _There's no baby there yet Rick."_

" _There will be. Soon." It was their biggest hope and dream._

" _Promise?" she asked, side tracked buy his effortless ability to make her jello in his arms but still pondering on how happy she would be knowing she was carrying Rick's baby._

" _Have I ever broken a promise to you before?" She shook her head. His lips descended to her shoulder, his focus had shifted, all he wanted to do now was take his wife to bed._

 _She poured the hot water from the kettle into the red tea mug and allowed her indian chai tea bag to steep, trying to distract herself from thinking about Rick's hands roaming over her body._

" _Boys, take the hamster upstairs to your room. Carl, don't take her out of the cage." Rick said sternly knowing the two boys could be stubborn at times._

" _K' dad. C'mon Dre. Let's go." Carl lead the way up the staircase, he held the cage in his hand like it was precious cargo and Andre shadowed him still calling out random names for selection. When_ _the boys were out of sight she wiggled out of his hold and pointed her finger at him. "No more sidetracking mister! Your furry companion has got to go. Take her to the farm and the boys can visit her anytime."_

" _You would do that to our sons?" He step back and Michonne knew he was about to bring the extraness. "They love her already."_

 _She folded her arms, not budging from her resolve._

" _Baby? We're really fighting over this?"_

" _Yes." She had turned toward the sink again, she looked at him over her shoulder, washing the spoon she had mixed her tea with. He snuck behind her back again, this time his hand didn't find her waist but snuck below the waistband of her shorts, arriving at the juncture of her thighs with ease. He found her already wet for his touch and he felt her body weaken in his arms._

" _You're so wet already Michonne." He kissed her shoulder, his finger making a path on her outer lips._

 _Struggling to not give in she managed to speak, "I want a fight Rick, a big one where I win and that hamster is out of my house."_

 _They never fought and it was why they could joke about it so easily. Still if she wanted the thrill of a fight he'd give her one but he knew he would be the one to come out on top, in more ways than one._

" _You sure you wanna fight with me right now over a hamster Chonne?" He found her slit and passed his middle finger over it, he was certain he heard her hiss. "I mean I can think of a few ways to better spend our time don't you think babe?" His voice was deep and sexy in her ear while he dipped his index and middle finger inside her heat. She gripped the edges of the sink, and had slightly bent her body into him, giving him better access to the place he loved to devour._

 _Willing to accept defeat for a sexier pay off she managed to say, "Okay, we can save this fight. But you owe me a big one." She said leaning over for him to kiss her neck again._

" _I'll give you a big one I promise." The double entendre didn't go unnoticed, just as he started to rub her nub Carl yelled from the top of the staircase; his voice sounded too concerned for their comfort._

" _Shit!" Rick said and they both rushed up the steps forgetting the mischief they were about to indulge in. Arriving_ _on the threshold of Carl's room her motherly instincts went into overdrive, "What's wrong?" she questioned, Carl and Andre both wore guilty expressions. She and Rick stood in the doorway of the super hero detailed room waiting for an answer._

" _I took Penny out of her cage and she umm..she slipped outta' my hand." Carl was looking on the ground, Andre's eyes danced all over the room unable to look his parents in their eyes as he shouldered his brother's guilt too._

" _Didn't I tell you not to do that Carl?" Rick said dropping on the ground to search for Penny, he assumed the boys eventually came up with the name._

" _I knew this was going to happen." Michonne said, in this instance she hated that her foresight was always so on point. Knowing the critter was loose in their home made her blood crawl. Rick looked at her with just as much guilt as their sons. He was unable to blanket the fine mess they found themselves in, repentance all over his pinched face._

 _She climbed on top of Andre's white kiddie chair, not wanting the hamster to crawl across her feet._

 _Rick searched under the bed, he dug inside and around Carl's toy chest, then under Carl's homework station but found nothing. Carl and Andre were at his side, searching in silence. His back was already aching from bending over so much. He got_ _up and was surprised to see his wife on top of the small white chair with her arms folded looking pissed and pretty, yet again._

" _Really babe? The girl who took fencing lessons for two years is scared of an itty bitty hamster?" She was being ridiculous, cute but still ridiculous._

" _Hey! In an apocalypse we'll be safe but right now you need to get that hamster outta my house!" Rick placed his hand on his hips and she mimicked him, both in a stare off of epic proportions. She didn't know it but her speech patterns mimicked his when she was upset and he thought it was absolutely adorable._

 _Michonne saw a grey ball of fluff dash across the doorway and rushed across the hall. Damn penny moved fast!_

" _Rick! It's behind you!"_

 _He turned in time to see Penny enter their bedroom. "Oh Shit!" He said loudly, if Michonne saw where Penny went she was gonna bring fire down on the whole house, he might end up on the evening news._ _**Husband attacked by wife for making a bad decision. Hamster still on the loose.**_

" _Did that thing just go into my bedroom!?" Michonne questioned unable to reduce the irritation in her tone._

" _Shit! Shit! Shit!" Rick said again, wondering if he should call in reinforcements._

" _Mother F-"_

" _Andre!" Rick and Michonne cut off Andre who was about to utter a curse._

" _That's a bad word son." Rick said, looking at Michonne and shaking his head. "That's the last time Sasha and Abe babysit my kid." he said unimpressed by Abraham and Sasha's inability to filter._

" _The rat Rick! The rat!" She danced on the chair but stored a reminder to have a serious chat with Sasha about using bad words around the boys._

" _She's a hamster Mom!" Carl called out, following his father and Andre into the hallway._

" _You guys go help Daddy find Penny honey. Mommy will stay on top of this chair, far away from the hallway doing some….. surveillance."_

 _She heard Rick mocking her with an uproar of laughter from in the hallway._

… _ **...**_

 _After two hours of turning the master bedroom upside down looking for the tiny creature that had caused such large scale chaos, Rick had given up. Their bedroom looked like it had been struck by a natural disaster; clothes were scattered everywhere, the bed had been rumpled, the drapes had been torn down; Rick thought he saw Penny hiding behind the curtains and in his hyperbole fashion had grabbed the drapes a bit too forcefully. The alleged Penny he thought he saw was a rolled up pair of his running socks._

 _Michonne lay on Carl's bed with a sleeping Andre tucked under her arm and Carl at the side of him, they had given up the fight an hour ago._

 _He walked in the room defeated, it didn't help that Michonne was right, again._

" _I'll call Daryl in the morning and see if he can help. Somehow he's good with those things."_

 _Her sigh was audible, Carl's bed wasn't large, so when Rick stretched his body out on the other end with Carl sandwiched between them he wondered if the family of four could actually get some sleep tonight. There were two other bedrooms down the hall but the excitement of the night made him realize how much he was missing out on his family and he just wanted to be close to them._

 _Michonne reached behind her and took off the light, Rick adjusted the cover over them and cleared his throat._

" _I'm sorry," He said, feeling for her hand in the dark. "I love you."_

" _I know." She said latching onto to his hand. With a hamster loose in her sanctuary and she, Rick, Carl and Andre smooshed together on one bed she realized this was the best part of her week and better than any planned family time. Rick held her hands in the dark while thoughts of a baby girl to add to their party lingered in her head, she realized she had never felt so full of love before._

" _Next time call your wife and tell her you're about to make a not so smart decision."_

 _He chuckled at her shade._

" _And just so you know, flowers say I'm sorry but jewellery says I won't do it again."_

 _Her voice soothed him in the darkness like it always had, like it always would. "Noted."_

" _Good."_

" _You still love me?" He may not have made all the right decisions tonight but as promised they had made another memory in their home._

 _Rick's heart was the purest thing about him. Michonne smiled and she felt him smile back, even through the darkness. Somehow she knew she would love him every day, over and over again, she would love him forever._

" _Always."_

* * *

 _ **Ducky** : I'm having the toughest time make the toughest decision right now._

 _ **Michonne** : You're in a bar drinking beers and watching a game, what's so hard?_

 _ **Ducky** : Thinkin' of where I'm gonna make you cum tonight. So many choices….._

 _ **Michonne** : You're thinking about that right now? _

_**Ducky** : Been thinkin' about it all day. These are your options - the bed, the patio, the pottery room. PR is my personal favorite. :) You pick._

"Hello! Earth to Michonne? Girl where are you right now?"

She was about to give a sexy, flirtatious response to her insatiable husband, but although caught red-handed she was still unable to conceal the silly grin that plastered her face the minute she received another message from Rick, She tried her best to face her sister with a pinch of seriousness.

"I'm here."

Rosita leaned over on the long white sofa she was lounging on, peeping over her friend's shoulder, her eyes narrowing on the iPhone resting in Michonne's manicured hand.

"Oh God! She's sexting Ducky!" She covered her eyes with her hand, leaving a slit specific for peeking.

Sasha's mouth extended, her hands sat akimbo while her pretty brown eyes glared at her distracted sister. "Really? On my day!?"

"Look at her! She can't even stop blushing!" Rosita observed. Michonne wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. She wanted everybody to know how in love she was with her husband.

"That's what orgasm therapy does for you." Rosita teased again, slapping her on her thigh as Michonne gave into the wild laughter she had been stifling.

Sasha laughed too, happy her sister was so happy. "Okay but...my day." She reminded.

"Technically Sasha, it's our day." Maggie said waddling onto Abraham's heavily decorated patio with a tray of treats in her hand. Maggie and Sasha's baby shower and bachelorette party had started and ended with a bang. The after party with the core circle of friends had begun which meant more food and more alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages for the likes of Michonne and Maggie.

Maggie didn't have a clue they had thrown her shower into the melee and had been pleasantly surprised when she saw the presents and baby decorations that filled the living room. She was happy she decided to dress up for the event, the purple, peep shoulder maxi dress had been another surprise from Glenn, it was appreciated because there was nothing appealing to her in her closet now that her stomach had started protruding around corners.

Abraham's contemporary styled home was large enough to have two separate areas for each soiree. For now, they had settled on the patio; the gray hardwood floors and covering added to the monochrome beauty of the outdoor setup. The surrounding green shrubs enclosed the two sectional black and white sofas making it appear less festive but more intimate as the daylight slipped out and dusk snuck in. There were patio stones that made its own patterns from leftover materials from Abraham's previous renovations that Sasha found were too unique to discard. Abraham gave her carte blanche to do as she pleased to blend their individual tastes in an attempt to make his house, their home.

Sasha fist bumped Maggie in passing while sipping her mojito from her penis shaped straw. To add to the festivities of her Vegas themed bachelorette party Sasha wore a navy blue tank with _bridin dirty_ marked in bright gold across her chest, it glittered under the white outside lights everytime she moved.

"I was not sexting!" Michonne exclaimed feigning innocence, truth was she couldn't get enough of Rick and if it weren't for Maggie and her sister celebrating two special occasions today she could think of a couple other interesting things she could be doing with Rick.

"Ok ladies gather 'round, I have one more joke and there are some games we haven't played yet." Rosita took centre stage, the official mistress of ceremonies for the day, she took her role seriously and had a slew of activities, both raunchy and baby approved prepared for the day. Sasha's and Maggie's friends enjoyed the evening and took part in the various activities planned, but the memorable evening had come to an end and while the other guests' had left the girls' weren't ready to part company.

It had been a while since they had all been together in one place, even Andrea who had been reserved with her communication while she was recovering had come out of her retreat and was washing up dishes in the kitchen with Deanna. Michonne was happy her friend showed up, everything had been ripped apart the night of the accident, their group dynamic had shifted somewhat but she had hope that like her relationship with Rick things could be mended for her friend, including her heart.

Aside from the unspoken pain that may not ever be forgotten, given all that had transpired two months ago, there was an air of joy and happiness in the atmosphere and it was a bright contrast to the tragedy that was that fateful night that had started with a gathering similar to the one they were hosting.

Michonne scooted around, making room for Maggie while Sasha opted to sit opposite them, the long glass table dividing the two oval sofas.

"Why do men name their penises?" Rosita dived right in, waiting to hear the horrible responses from her friends.

"Because they're idiots?" Sasha shrugged.

"Can you at least try?" Rosita gestured to Michonne to answer next.

"I got nothing."

"Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions!" Rosita answered begrudgingly.

Sasha laughed and shook her head. "Abraham named his own Hercules. I think it's sexy."

Maggie's forehead creased and Rosita lifted an eyebrow, "Somehow I think that was an overshare."

"I'm sorry I didn't realize you two had the power to judge me! I didn't know God was hiring?" She snapped back at them.

"Sis that was TMI!" Michonne chortled, holding her belly from the walking comedy show that was her sister.

"What? like Rick hasn't named his dick?" The words tumbled out of Sasha's mouth in a quick retort.

"Uhhh guys are we forgetting Ducky here?" Rosita threw in, thinking the blush on Michonne's face was enough of a giveaway to the question at hand.

Saved by the appearance of Andrea, the pretty blonde joined them having finished assisting in tidying up.

"What's so funny?" she asked, entering on the tale end of the joke, "Everything has been washed up, the leftovers have been labeled in the refrigerator and the kitchen is sparkling. Sasha, Deanna said she's catching up on some emails upstairs. She said save her a glass of wine." Andrea chose to stand despite the vacant space on the inviting sofa.

"Yeah emails…. she is so watching Golden Girls reruns again. She's hooked even though she claims she's years away from joining that crew." Sasha laughed, knowing her stepmom too well, she wasn't as slick as she thought she was.

"The guys are still hanging out? I was thinking of heading home." Andrea walked behind the seating, looking on at the girls feeling like a kid looking through the glass of a candy store. She wore a stylish beige cropped pants and maroon ankle boots with a pretty deep red cashmere sweater, the outfit was supposed to give her some confidence.

"The guys are gonna milk this one. They're free to do whatever they want tonight and it's Friday. We're not seeing them until tomorrow. Sit with us." Maggie patted the vacant spot next to her pouring Andrea a glass of the strongest grape juice she had found in Abe's kitchen. The uncertainty on Andrea's face was visible as she wrestled with wanting to sit at the table and feeling ambivalent of how much she was necessary to the girl time. She wanted to be wanted but given her behavior over the last few months she wasn't sure she deserved a temporary respite from the four women she cared about most in her life. She needed to show it more than say it, maybe this was a good start, maybe it wasn't.

As she was about to offer some invalid excuse for not staying, Michonne stood and held out her hand to her sending her reluctance. Andrea saw the gesture as a sign for her to finally seek clemency from her inner circle; for allowing her sensibilities to overpower her insecurities for far too long. As much as she had gotten it from Shane, in order for her heart to function effectively again she needed it from her girls too. She was choosing her words and actions carefully these days; once words were spoken they could only be forgiven, not forgotten and she was done hurting people who cared about her in such a callous manner.

She sat, still grasping Michonne's hand, knowing how much her best friend, if she still had the privilege of calling her that, had overcome since the hospital, gave her strength to believe her healing miracle was just around the corner even if a part of her still felt like she didn't deserve much of anything, including happiness. Rosita took her tray filled with games to play off the table, despite the competitive nature of the women around her she was ready to have some fun now that their circle was complete again.

They had shared in enough pain recently, being silly together had always been their best therapy. Michonne understood Rosita's tactics to retrieve the missed synergy among them. Her mind drifted to the divorce party that was the catalyst to it all and how difficult it had been to see Andrea's misguided pain morphe into a celebration of her hurts and the subsequent ruin of her marriage.

This time they were commemorating life and love and not the loss of a broken relationship. Maybe they were celebrating some kind of delayed victory in spite of that broken relationship and the cataclysmic chain of events it had set off in its wake. Her memory may have been severed in the chaos, what could've followed was the demise of her own relationship with Rick but love triumphed over the fragments of pain that scattered over them like a blast from a bomb.

Her heart rose above the anguish and self doubt and saw Rick, who while she had been looking for answers everywhere else had never stopped looking at her. He saw her and if love spoke, Rick was loving her loudly.

She wanted that for Andrea, even if Shane turned out to not be the one, she wanted her to understand the heights and depths of the beauty of real love and how healing it could be for one's soul.

"Great. We're all here now." Maggie said clapping her hands, feeling excited that her gang of misfits were together again. She rubbed her rounded belly, settling in on the cushy sofa, preparing herself to relax and enjoy the rest of their time together.

"We are, so it's only right that we do The Oath." Sasha said pouring everyone drinks in the empty, long stemmed wine glasses.

"The Oath? We haven't done that in ages!" Rosita said.

Sasha cleared her throat, ignoring Rosita knowing how into the antics she was, "Let the meeting of the Fussy Posse begin." Sasha, self appointed leader of said posse slammed her pretend gavel in the air. "We will now begin by saying our pledge." She pointed to Rosita who normally initiated the unique set of promises the group was binded by.

"Ok. We're doing this." Rosita sat up straighter in her seat and lifted her palm halfway, "I Rosita promise to save you from any hideous lapse of judgement when it comes to men."

Sasha handed her a glass of Pinot noir as a reward for her compliance and she took it gladly.

Maggie groaned but on the inside she was happy to be next, "I promise to crop out all muffin tops in any pictures we take together." She took her grape juice from Sasha but on last minute decided to drink from the bottle instead of the glass.

Sasha pointed to herself, surprised everyone so far remembered their part, "I promise to never let buyer's remorse be a condition you suffer from."

She handed Andrea a glass of wine but she begged for some of Maggie's grape juice instead, much to everyone's surprise. Everyone knew how much Andrea loved her alcoholic concoctions, the fact that she chose juice over the wine was a sign that there was one less thing in her life controlling her behavior. Michonne was so proud of her friend.

"I promise to always be your lesbian lover if a jerk comes onto you in a bar."

The level of greedy anticipation for their cherished memory blinded them to the fact Michonne wouldn't have any recall on their pledge as it was something they had designed when Michonne and Maggie were away at school and the distance had put a strain on their friendship with weekly group messages counting as valid forms of communication.

With Michonne's amnesia the cognizance would be non existent.

Sasha was about to interrupt with an apology when Michonne stood up, mesmerizing all of them when she said, "I promise to love you four no matter what, to be with you through the good and the bad. To silently hold your hand when life gets too loud….and….."

She waited for them to finish the not so forgotten ritual together like they usually did.

"To always remember being best friends is a promise, not a label." They said in chorus.

Maggie placed her glass on the table, stunned but not too stunned to speak, "You remembered?"

"Michonne how did you….? Oh my God. This is incredible!" Her sister said looking around for leftover napkins as her eyes began to pool.

Michonne herself was astonished by the words that flowed out of her mouth unprompted, even as the girls began to speak in round robin fashion she didn't put much thought to it or the script she had to verbalize to bring the pledge to a close.

Her mind and heart were free and amnesia was the thing being put into shackles, no longer having control in her life. Her heart was full, she had another memory. She didn't want to believe everything would all come back to her because she'd been given so many gifts already but now there was a yearning, a certain level of expectation that her memory would return.

Her demons had turned into art, her fears transformed into fuel and despite the flames that burned the consciousness of her treasured recollections she rose above the ashes notably stronger than when she came out of the hospital bed.

"I didn't want to say anything, it happened before with Rick." He had built her a room to allow her to practice and develop a skill that was supposed to aid her memory in returning. It was a simple room with a door and two windows and a lock but Rick had always been her key. "It's a trickle here and there but I remembered and it's the best feeling ever." She didn't realize tears were falling until she saw Maggie and Sasha dab at their eyes too. She had their support from the get go, their friendship was characterized by truth, strength and love.

"I'm so happy for you." Maggie reached across the table and hugged her, then it was a chain reaction.

"Thanks for turning my party into a cryfest."

"Our party Sasha." Maggie bragged.

"Your part of the day is over, you're not getting married on Sunday are you?" She teased.

Maggie stuck her tongue out and they all laughed at her childish behavior.

Breaking the cheerful atmosphere that had been created by the resurgence of their camaraderie Andrea spoke in a quiet tone, trying to control her topsy turvy emotions seeing for herself that all was not lost.

"Can I just say something." Her voice had a quiver to it but her pride kept her back from showcasing how she was really feeling for too long. She couldn't let it dictate her behavior any longer.

"Of course." Rosita said, even she had grown somber with the valued interruption from Andrea.

"I um...I owe the four of you an apology."

Sasha held her hand up, willing to forgive and forget the past but in order for Andrea to heal, to grow, she had to face her shortcomings and who better to be completely vulnerable with than her inner circle.

"No Sash, I need to do this."

Sasha nodded in solidarity.

"I uh..I haven't been the most considerate person for…." Andrea let loose a dry laugh, unable to trace back to a date stamp when being hurt had become more important to her than healing, "...quite some time now. And I've been struggling with facing you guys after some of the things I've done." She let out a deep breath, not ready to cry her way through what she knew was an overdue but hopefully not too late apology.

She looked at Michonne and her softened face, she felt encouraged to continue despite the slight tremble in her hands. "I'm sorry it took our accident and your memory loss for me to see things clearly Michonne but I do see the error of my ways now and I'm sorry. It's easy to be blind to your own actions when you've been wired to thrive on dysfunction."

Michonne nodded feeling the power in her words, to herself she couldn't be mad anymore if her accident brought healing all around. It was significant for the wounds that predated the accident. She was trying to view her memory loss as less of a mistake and more of a miracle.

Andrea wiped her face finding strength by the receptive faces in front of her, "I'm done making excuses for myself. Shane and I suffered through a miscarriage separately and I didn't know what to do with his pain or mine for that matter. I didn't want him to blame me for it. So I intentionally pushed him away, I couldn't take seeing him look at me with so much hurt. I began questioning if he was the right man for me until I convinced myself he wasn't. I substituted material things as a way to numb the pain but it never went away. Hiding pain doesn't make it heal." She cried not because of where she'd been but for the bend in the road that had catapulted her to face her demons head on. "Shane is a good man, even when I had nothing more to sustain myself with he stepped in and I don't know if I'd be standing here today if it wasn't for his help after the accident."

Sasha moved next to Andrea, giving her a halfway hug, helping her to lean on her to continue on in her verbal catharsis. Andrea pressed her head against Sasha's own thanking the heavens that friends were the family she got to choose.

"He loves me and it's not the kind of love I expected but it's the kind of love I needed and I've learnt that you don't ever have to tell the right man how to love you. He already knows what you deserve." She understood there was no surplus when you're owing, she knew she didn't deserve Shane but she would do her endeavor best to show him how much she appreciated him and all that he'd done for her. "Even if we don't end up together I want him to know that. I want y'all to know it to." Her sentence trickled off, it was followed by a few seconds of silence as everything resonated deeply in their minds. The ventilation was necessary for Andrea and her shoulders didn't feel so heavy anymore.

Rosita handed out napkins, there wasn't a dry eye among them as Andrea's words ebbed and flowed between them. Knowing Andrea was an emotional G.I. Joe, usually saving her emotions for combat, they saw it took real strength for her to come forward with the weight that was sinking her slowly.

"Dammit I hate you guys for making me cry." Rosita said dabbing the corners of her darkened lashes, her thug status temporarily on hiatus.

"I didn't mean to bring the evening down it's just my therapist says that it's important to express what I'm feeling and I've been holding out on you guys because I didn't think I should be here with you anymore." After numbing herself to pain for all that time, allowing herself to finally feel things, to feel pain had delivered its own ounce of cure.

"With us? Andrea….. honey. No, don't you ever think that. You heard the oath…." Maggie reminded, knowing that without Andrea they would be missing a limb.

"Yeah, c'mon, we're a family, that's why we work. You guys get on my nerves but I love you."

"Thanks Rosita." Andrea knew how important family was, she had learned that much, the valuable lesson wasn't taught by her own parents but by this amazing group of women who somehow still wanted her around.

Everybody came with baggage but people who really loved you helped you to unpack it.

"Let's make a toast." Michonne said refilling her, Maggie and Andrea's glasses with the remnant of grape juice, too happy to let tears overtake their togetherness.

"Yes can I do it?" Sasha requested.

"Have at it."

They all lifted their glasses, waiting on Sasha to gather her words.

"To us, we're not perfect, we're a little crazy...okay...very crazy but….gloriously real and even though I'm marrying an idiot tomorrow who I'll love with my very last breath, you four will always be my soulmates."

"Cheers!" Everybody was in complete agreement

* * *

"Wanna know the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist." Glenn chugged the end of his beer as the fellas commiserated with his misery. He wasn't complaining but Maggie had arrived to the part of her pregnancy where reason and rationale was difficult to come by. She wasn't slowing down, if anything, he gathered she was speeding up as her pregnancy progressed, at this rate she could wage war on a whole army.

"Trust me, she'll slow down soon enough. Don't worry about it." Rick said taking a pull of his beer too. He knew his sister and he knew what drove her, he also had been a part of two pregnancies thus far and he knew the slowing down time almost, always came. He couldn't wait to do it with Michonne again, the image of his gorgeous wife rounded with his baby was something he anticipated.

"Maggie was always that girl man." Daryl said grabbing the glass bowl of nuts from the bar counter and throwing a few back.

Abraham's bachelor night was a simple one, taking place at Ren's, a popular bar downtown that catered to avid pool players and avid sports fans alike with their slew of enormous flat screen tv's that catered to every game that was seasonally trending.

Their patrons appreciated they could settle down for a pint and catch up on their favorite game too. Rick, Glenn and Daryl were on stools that lined the bar that had just been cleared from a rowdy crew. Shane and Abe were having a tense game of pool, neither alpha wanted to admit defeat so they were prepared to go all night. They had already done the guy talk bit from predicting the final game scores to talking shit about each other, to Abe giving an awkward sex story from his past, Rick was still cringing at the memory. Listening to Shane talk in an incessant stream of TV and movie quotes was torture enough. It was sad that there were movie lines already written to deliver the full gamut felt by his friend.

As much as Rick enjoyed hanging out with them he wanted to get back to his wife, who had recently re-attached her hip to his and being close to her was the best feeling. Something stronger than the two of them was always pulling them together, a powerful magnetic force that even if he didn't comprehend the magnitude of it, he certainly couldn't deny the power it yielded. It was bigger than him, bigger than the both of them, bigger than amnesia. He knew there was nothing they couldn't face together but the significance of their bond had been tried, tested and proven.

Their hearts spoke; seven billion people in the world and she chose him, twice.

He was a lucky man and he couldn't wait to get home to demonstrate how lucky he felt.

"That my friend is what you call whoop ass!" Abraham said, joining them at the bar with a cocky grin on his face while Shane followed behind, crawling to the bar, requesting a rum and coke to soothe his bruised ego.

Abraham's hat that read, _By me a beer, the end is near_ said it all about what they were celebrating tonight. If people didn't get it the ball and chain below the text would help them come to the correct conclusion.

"Yeah yeah man! You win!" The loud music, bar food and the hubbub of indistinct voices was a nice way to close out the Friday night. Even the guy in the corner pouring out his heartache to a stranger didn't seem out of place among the enthusiastic chatter.

Sunday was a big day for all, Sasha and Abe's wedding day had finally arrived, anticipation of the big day was in the air.

"You ready man?" Daryl asked, the thought of marriage and babies plagued him these days, he wondered if he would make Rosita a good husband or if they ever had kids if he'd be a good father like Rick.

"I don't think you're ever ready for marriage really." Abe shrugged, "I just know I'm ready for this adventure with Sasha to go to the next level. I'm not sure I know what to expect."

Rick nodded in agreement, "He's right, marriage is taking her hand and jumping. No matter what happens try not to let go."

"Sometimes you don't wanna let go man, but you gotta." Shane said sadly, feeling the brunt of his words more than anybody. He had let go of Andrea's hands when they divorced but her accident shed a light on how much she needed him even if she couldn't say it. He was relieved there was finally something she needed that he could provide. If she observed the love in his eyes when he helped her do things she couldn't do for herself before, then the sacrifices his heart made for her weren't in vain, but only time would tell.

"Things'll get better man." Daryl said, "Sometimes those girls gotta go their own way for a bit."

"Ain't that the truth." Rick hadn't been in agreement when Michonne moved out for those five days that had been full of anguish for him but he couldn't predict if they'd be in the place they were now if she hadn't. Sometimes a Damascus road was necessary to find one's way, more so when the mind was the battlefield. "Doesn't mean she doesn't love you though, just don't stop shining the light. Hopefully it's the thing that makes her come home."

"We'll see." Shane remained hopeful.

"You know the missus told me no strippers tonight." Abe said, still in amazement that he was marrying someone even bossier than he was.

"Maggie said she was gonna make me sleep in the barn if she heard there were strippers." Glenn said.

"C'mon stop complainin', this rounds is on me." Shane said handing out beers to their small crew.

"Sasha and I butt heads on those type of things now and again. Last week she told me take the night off for myself. So I went to the gun range, you know….let off some steam but the ten missed calls I had determined her offering was a lie."

They knocked their bottles together and pulled the first sip, "So you married fellas gonna give me some advice on how to control that?" Abraham said referring to Sasha's often bullheaded determination.

Rick focused his eyes on Abe, his head tilted, "Control her what? Her attitude?" He laughed heartily, "I'm married to a lawyer that doesn't apply to me." Rick smirked knowing control and Michonne couldn't be in the same sentence. She was rightfully opinionated, it was one of the reasons why he loved her.

"Maggie is definitely her own woman too, I just try to understand the code she speaks in." the veterinarian added, knowing his wife was a force in her own right.

"Don't confuse attitude with being strong. It's two different things. If she's the latter and I mean this is Sasha, so she is, you better thank your lucky stars she chose you."

"I am a lucky bastard aren't I." Abe said folding his arms as he dwelled on the fact.

"Here's some good marriage advice though, when she asks you to take the chicken out of the freezer, do yourself a favor and do it right away." Rick had to share the sage advice with Abraham. He'd learned the hard way the severity of the command.

"Yeah and when in doubt, ask. We like to think we have all the answers but we don't." The chasm of Daryl Dixon dishing out sound relationship advice was a tell to the maturity he had experienced being with the eccentric Rosita Espinosa for the past couple of months. Everybody was impressed and heckled him enough to redden his face.

As they evening was getting later the music shifted; Rascal Flats were crooning their latest love ballad through the overhead speakers. Rick's phone buzzed and he unlocked his phone to see the dirty message sent by his wife, already turned on by her lingo alone, combined with the few beers he'd downed he was ready to go home to her.

"Rick! Fancy meeting you here!" Jessie snuck up behind him, her manicured hand rested on his shoulder and a bright smile sat on her face.

"Jessie? What are you doing here?" He was surprised to see the blonde in the downtown bar. He didn't know she knew about the place but there was a lot about Jessie he didn't know, of his own choosing.

She pointed to two other women in another sectioned off area in the bar, "Yeah we've been here for a while. I saw when you guys walked in. I guess you didn't see me." She smoothed her darkened tresses, subtly trying to fix the red mini dress that had hiked up on her thighs, while being scrutinized by the four men who were hanging out with Rick.

"I really didn't notice you." He said in earnest, happy that she had removed her hand from his arm.

She stood in awkward silence after her nervous laugh dissipated.

"Umm...you know Abe and Shane right? This is my brother-in-law Glenn and one of my best friends, Daryl."

To be polite, Glenn and Daryl stretched over in their formed circle to shake Jessie's hand who came across a bit too eager to do the same.

Abraham cleared his throat, unable to bear the awkwardness Jessie brought with her arrival. Glenn's eyes were on the floor, fixated on the neatly done hardwood. Shane stared straight at Jessie and Daryl observed Rick's oblivious behavior.

"Well umm...I guess I'll see you at the office Rick. Everything is ready for our Gala Dinner next week. All the months of our hard labor is finally gonna pay off." She was rambling now, knowing she should leave but still wanting to let Rick know she was glad she got the opportunity to work with him on the drug campaign.

"Yeah I'm lookin' forward to it. You worked your butt of Jessie." He was being true, her efforts didn't go unnoticed by the Mayor.

"I couldn't have done any of it without you Rick." Her less than familiar hand had returned on the sleeve of his midnight blue polo. He didn't shake it off because he didn't want to embarrass her, he had pretty much set up a professional zone with Jessie.

"Well...umm.. you boys enjoy the evening. Catch you later Rick." She walked off and before she could return to the pool table area she had come from, Abraham who was nothing if he wasn't ill timed, especially with words, spoke first.

"Is it just me or does Blondie have a crush on the Sheriff?"

"Ever since Rick helped her that one time when Pete was harassing her, she latched onto him like a lost puppy." Daryl said in a low grumble.

"I did what any of y'all would've done. Jessie doesn't have a crush on me. She's been through a lot, cut her some slack." Rick said, not wanting to store what Daryl said as truth.

He remembered the night she came to his home requesting the flash drive that held all their work, he was in the middle of a tense conversation with Michonne and she grew concerned with Jessie's arrival when she had never been insecure about it before. He didn't want to think he just turned a blind eye to Jessie's subtle, unwanted advances.

"And here I thought without strippers nothing exciting was gonna happen tonight." Abe said, appreciating the skeptical interval.

"There isn't anything there so let's all move on." Rick shrugged not wanting to dwell on it.

"Alright man." Shane said. "Although I'm out of the drinking game. Unlike the actual movie I don't want to be hungover this weekend."

"Man! Either were getting old or…."

"We're afraid of our women." Glenn answered Daryl's questions and made them all laugh.

People said bachelor parties weren't really for the groom, they were for the uncommitted but everybody present had made some form of commitment to the women in their lives, so no one had any desire to over indulge in the typical stag nite rituals.

Abraham was glad he got a night out with his buddies. He signaled to the bartender, who pulled a small box from below the bar and handed it to him.

"My gift to all." Abraham opened the box that laid several custom made cigars and shared it around his pals. Shane passed one under his nose, the rich scent giving away the cost and possible location of origin.

Taking out a lighter from his sports coat Abe lit his cigar and passed it around.

"Well boys!" Abraham began, always ready to give the most mundane of words some classical delivery. "Sunday I'm gonna fail my bachelor's degree and Sasha, God bless her is gonna get her Master's, I appreciate you all watching that shit go down." He pulled the cigarette, letting the puff of smoke roll out at the side of his mouth.

Shaking his head but still wanting to mark the moment Shane lifted his beer towards the groom, "To Abe. Today you have a conscience but by Sunday you'll have a wife. Congrats!"

"To the life we live and the women who make it possible." Rick added thinking of the many ways he needed to express to Michonne how much he cherished the wonderful life they'd built. If given another chance he'd do it all over again, that's how much he loved her.

"Cheers!" They all said.


	13. The Ties That Bind

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for your responses to the flashback question I asked last chapter. I've decided I'd do two for you based on your requests, so look out for the other one in my next update. You can still let me know what you want to see. Thanks for the reviews, the PM's and the Tumblr messages, you guys are so encouraging. It really warms this ordinary girl's heart. A lot of you wanted more Andre and Rick, I hope this meets your criteria. Can't wait to hear from you!**

 **Oh and this chapter is kinda long! Welps!**

 **Sophia**

* * *

"You look beautiful Sash," Deanna said subtly dabbing the corner of her eye with her manicured hand not wanting to smudge her own professionally done makeup. Sasha was a beautiful bride. She didn't mean it in the cliche way that mother's often used to describe their daughters on their special day. Sometimes the hyperbole was due to the overwhelming surge of emotions that usually accompanied the life changing moment. Deanna knew, Sasha was exquisite, elegant with her nude makeup and her fit and flare, plunging neckline, lily white wedding dress.

"Don't make me cry," Sasha said to her step mother.

She was a vision, today she was making Abraham Ford a very happy man.

Sasha checked her reflection in the intricate vanity, set in the charming, old fashioned room. She was having the wedding of her dreams at Red Brick Hall, located to the north of Brash. The hall was a popular spot for couples who desired a rustic yet modern looking venue for their wedding. Outside of the hall were lush greenery and large trees surrounding the wooden detailed building. Sasha, Michonne and Deanna opted to stay at the complimentary mini apartment to get dressed as Michonne wanted to be on hand for anything that may possibly go wrong that day. Her bridesmaids, Maggie, Andrea and Rosita - according to schedule - were supposed to be on their way. With only an hour to showdown Sasha was trying to remain calm.

"Where's your sister already? She left on a phone call like ten minutes ago," Deanna said glancing at the rooms entrance for the maid of honor.

"I'm here, I'm here!" The almost closed door flung open, Michonne stepped over the threshold in her wine colored, bateau neckline, column dress, her cell phone dangling from her hand.

"Everything okay with the boys?" Sasha watched Michonne pick up her planner that she knew was packed with everything for her wedding day in alphabetical order. Even with her accident her sister didn't miss a beat stepping back into her role, planning the rest of the wedding. Her obsessive compulsive tendencies had benefited them as everything had been jotted down in her special green book, from guest list to guest last. Michonne had it all down to a science, like if everything was resting on her ability to plan. It felt like a large scale event, any minute now Jimmy Kimmel was gonna pop out from somewhere and say "Welcome to the show," because Sasha felt as though Michonne had planned the Oscars and not simply her back country wedding where she was going to be Mrs. Idiot. She simply couldn't wait.

"I had to do face time with Dre. He and Rick had a falling out of sorts."

She laughed but the pain on her baby's face was all to real a few minutes ago.

"Really?" Deanna said sitting down at the edge of the vanity stool as Sasha moved to the bed next to Michonne.

"Does my nephew know he's upset with his daddy?" It was no secret how mesmerized Andre was usually with his father. They were often joined at the hip when Rick wasn't at work so the news intrigued Sasha. Michonne laughed finally finding the humor of it all now. The last thing she wanted was anything to hurt her boys and she would be a mama bear in a heartbeat for them, even if she had to go against the papa bear himself.

"Well Rick said he could handle getting the boys ready today. Even though I told him I'd bring them here so he could be with Abe, but he insisted we have our time together." His altruism was endearing.

Sasha nodded, "Ten points to the best brother in law I ever had."

"He's your only brother in law," Michonne said, her neat locs swept up in a chic updo making her pretty face glow. She was beginning to enjoy the fact her baby bump was announcing itself. She was overjoyed being pregnant and witnessing the changes her body was going through.

"Still ten points. Continue."

Even Deanna seemed to be listening more intently.

"So while dressing, Rick was going over Dre's role as the ring bearer, Dre then told him he's going to marry Gracie...Gracie is a girl in his class. And my husband, the practical man he is told his son he can't marry Gracie yet because he has to get a job and a house first."

"I take it this did not go over well with my grandson," Deanna cut in, amused by it all.

Michonne shook her head vigorously, "Rick said he was distraught. Dre said he wants somebody to love. Told Rick he is mad at him and they're not best friends anymore. Thing is Rick seemed really hurt."

"So Mommy to the rescue to do some damage control?"

"Yeah, it's handled. He and Rick are one again but Carl is begging me to come get him because Rick put too much gel in his hair and I always put the right amount." As Michonne laughed there was a brightness on her face that the glistening sun outside hadn't cast. She had the radiant beam of a happy, contented woman.

For Sasha, witnessing first hand how the darkness had robbed her sister of so much light before with amnesia, her metamorphosis was a lovely display. She was happy and proud to see her come into her own again with an extra, dazzling dose of confidence.

Sasha was emotional on her wedding day for plenty of reasons; for starters she was marrying Abraham Ford, someone not in a million years she would've paired herself with, but for some reason they connected on a level that didn't have any hints of superficiality to it. She was also getting an entire day to be with the people she loved the most in one special place and she was going to the beautiful island of Jamaica for her honeymoon.

Despite all the goodness, the most significant thing she wanted to remember today was seeing the evolution of her sister from the timid, unsure woman on the hospital bed four months ago, who had little to no know-how on ways to approach the husband and sons she couldn't recall, to the formidable figure that sat beside her. She talked with the autonomy of mother and wife who knew how to defuse any situation in her home with just a few loving words.

It was a sight to see, it gave Sasha deep pause as she deliberated on the extent and meaning of the words love and support.

"Crisis averted." Deanna laughed, knowing Andre could be just as dramatic as his father sometimes.

She watched as Sasha and Michonne laughed over the story and a sense of nostalgia settled over her slowly; they were sixteen again, then eighteen, twenty one - now all grown up right before her eyes. They had been angry and hurt when she'd entered the scene all those years ago. The teething process of forming a family with two girls who had previously lost their mother wasn't an easy feat but the three of them had one thing in common; they all loved Troy Duke and they would do anything to make him happy.

She had learnt out of life that angry people were usually hurting people; Sasha and Michonne were in pain and in desperate need of a mother. She was in desperate need of children to love not being able to bear any of her own. The dichotomy of what separated them was the very thing that would bring them together. There was a lot of pulling and tugging but eventually they made it through on the other side, together. She couldn't have been prouder of them. Their father would be proud of them. She hoped he was somewhere looking down on this day seeing for himself that they were alright. They were happy. The tears she had been fighting since she had placed the tiara on Sasha's head earlier escaped her lids, descending down her cheek in defiance. She swiped at it in a swift motion not wanting to be noticed.

Michonne noticed first and went to Deanna's side grabbing a tissue from the kleenex box that rested near the mirror.

"This isn't a day for tears," she said helping Deanna dry the wetness from her face. "These are happy tears I promise." Deanna held both of their hands.

"I just want you two to know I'm very proud of you. Your dad would be too. We really couldn't ask more of you two. I love you girls."

Sasha fanned her face with vigor, not wanting to risk her finished look to an errant tear.

"I wish dad was here," Michonne managed to say.

"He is," Deanna said soberly.

Michonne observed her step mother, she was full of gratitude for having her in her life. She was a mother to her but also a friend, she didn't know if she would've gotten through all these months without her wisdom and support.

"NutherMother…" she said, shaking Deanna out of her musings. Even Sasha looked up when she heard the word, their surprised expressions causing Michonne to question them with a raise of her brows.

"Are you getting a memory back Chonne?" Sasha asked, touching her arm in concern.

"No I'm not. Why did you ask me that? Mom what's wrong?"

Deanna's face had softened.

"You called Deanna NutherMother, that's what we used to call her before your accident. It was a joke...a nickname kinda. When you woke up from the coma you called her...mom. I kinda adopted it too," Sasha said slowly, clutching Deanna's hand as she spoke.

"I did? I just thought we…" She didn't think it was a memory flash but the word popped into her head and it felt familiar and it slipped out. To her Deanna was mother just as much as Lynn Duke was.

"I was ok with that nickname but I like mom better," Deanna said, no DNA could preside over the bond she shared with her girls.

Michonne too had teared up as she discovered something else her amnesia had taught her; change wasn't all bad. Loving someone in new ways didn't imply there was an inconsistency in your heart with what you felt for them. Finding different ways to express that love was a thing of beauty.

"I like mom too." Michonne hugged Deanna hard.

"Me too." Sasha didn't want to be left out of the hug either.

"Good." Deanna's heart felt as full as her arms.

"Oh God it's one forty five, it's time to get you married!" Even as she said it to get things back on track, Michonne knew what she just shared was something she never wanted to forget.

* * *

 **March 2014**

 _Andre had been crying for the past forty five minutes, the incessant crying had yanked a headache out of Michonne that was throbbing just as loud at her temples as Andre's squeals in her ear._

" _Oh I know pea-nut. It's okay. I'm here," Michonne said in a sing songy voice in an another attempt to soothe her baby boy whose fever had reached the severe high of one hundred and six degrees , but not even his mother's voice could soothe him. After_ _heading to the farm after work to get Andre and Carl, she discovered Andre was hot to the touch. She had decided to monitor it, lingering at the farm a bit she got a chance to catch up with Maggie who was too busy being a newlywed to check in regularly with her friends. As_ _the evening progressed so did his temperature, the hotter Andre got the more listless her child became, scaring her in the process._

 _Sitting on the stool in the pristine kitchen while Maggie helped Carl with his homework as a distraction, she decided to call Rick. Using the house phone, she chucked the cordless between her ear and shoulder blade waiting for her husband to pick up on the other end. A_ _ndre was curled up in her arms now, the crying had eased up considerably almost like his body was too tired too even convulse in protest. Although it wasn't easy to judge how sick her child was, she identified his loss of appetite, his tiredness and his watery eyes quickly. Maybe he was coming down with the flu? His symptoms were in direct contrast with the toddler Andre was; he was usually up and running like Speedy Gonzales ever since he discovered the joys of walking a month ago._

" _Hello?" Rick's voice boomed on the phone._

" _Rick! It's Andre. He has a really high fever." She didn't mask the fear in her tone._

 _Rick heard the tremble in Michonne's voice and sat up straighter at his desk in his office. He glanced at the time on his computer and saw it was 6:45 pm._

" _How long?" He asked._

" _Around three maybe, I had an early client and came by to get the boys after but he was already hot when I got here and its just gotten worse."_

" _Did you try him with the baby Tylenol?"_

" _Maggie gave him some but it hasn't taken any effect. He's so quiet Rick." Andre had fevers before, when he had gotten his vaccinations, but he never got like this._

" _Maybe we should take him to the hospital." Rick was already packing up his desk, concern for his son taking precedence over requests from the mayor and the district attorney._

" _Yeah maybe we should." Michonne sounded relieved at Rick's suggestion. She was going to call their pediatrician and ask for an over-the-phone consultant but maybe they'd get faster results at the children's hospital._

" _We'll get Carl on our way back okay. He's doing his homework and I don't want to worry him," Michonne said knowing how much Carl cared about his baby brother._

" _Good idea. Hey listen, he's gonna be okay. I don't want you worryin'. Kids get fevers all the time." Michonne was a new mom and so far she was handling the challenge with skill and grace. Sometimes she needed some reassurance she was getting things right and Rick always gave her that._

" _Yeah he'll be fine. Won't you peanut." She kissed the crown of her baby's head. "See you down there okay."_

 _They hung up the call knowing they would see each other in a few minutes._

… _ **.**_

 _Andre had a cold bath, medicine had been administered but he hadn't left his mother's arms since they arrived at Grace Children's Hospital and his crying never ceased. His little eight month old voice was beginning to sound hoarse. She sat on the small bed in the small cubicle she'd been allotted by the kind nurse whose name was Karen, who had also been nice enough to draw the brown drapes, giving her and Andre a measure of privacy while they waited for Rick._

 _Their consultant didn't turn out of be one of those hospital visits that resulted in reassurances. The attending pediatrician, Dr. Bratt had run a few tests and confirmed Andre had a viral infection that left him very dehydrated._

 _Aside from the guilt she felt from it all, she was just relieved they found the cause of his fever and were able to treat with it immediately. The patient and empathetic doctor wanted them to stay another hour or two to ensure the meds were working. Andre's tears weren't so much from pain anymore as it was from the interruption to the routine that he had become accustomed to._

 _She glimpsed at her watch again. It was after seven but still no sign of Rick who had promised to meet her in a few minutes over forty minutes ago. Barring something critical happening he wouldn't have put anything in front of being here with them._

" _Ssshh, I'm here baby. Mommy's right here, everything's gonna be okay. You'll be home soon. Sshh peanut..." Still, he continued to cry._

 _She began to sing his favorite lullaby but his loud cries competed with her mellow singing tone._

 _She pressed her head to his; tears stinging the back of her eyes, her throat tightening at not being able to administer comfort like a mother should to her sick child._

" _Oh Dre, I wish you could talk so I'd know what you want baby." A tear leaked out, the frustration of a sick toddler and the events that lead up to a mid week hospital visit culminating in her chest._

 _Andre clutched her locs but continued to cry, only now it had simmer down to a whimper but a constant one at that._

 _She was humming the tune to a song Carl often sang to Andre when Rick burst through the drapes, her name on his lips._

 _He met his wife sitting on the examination table, clutching a softly crying Andre to her chest, looking like she was on the verge of crying too._

" _Michonne!?" His strong voice echoed in the examining area._

 _Before he could say a word a male nurse followed closely after, "Sir did you find who you were looking for?" The nurse's voice held concern, so did his facial expression, given that Rick hadn't ask any questions upon entering the floor._

 _Rick wasn't in uniform, as long as he was wearing it folks rolled out the red carpet for him but the hospital was on the outskirts of King County and the nurse was probably new if he didn't know Rick's face._

" _I was looking for my family," Rick said dryly, already agitated that someone was delaying further their reunion after he'd been trying to get to Michonne and Andre for almost an hour._

 _The nurse looked at Andre and Michonne, then at Rick and asked, "I guess you found them then?" He was a bit unsure but not disrespectful about it._

 _Not totally unaware of the confusion behind the redhead's question, Michonne replied, "This is my husband, thank you." Her tone was reassuring, understanding the man's confusion and concern. Andre didn't look like he belonged to Rick but somehow it didn't bother her a bit, she knew the truth._

" _Okay. You folks have a good one," the nurse said, leaving the family to speak._

 _The tiredness on Michonne's face minused any response Rick was going to give the nurse so he put it to the back of his mind, reaffirming the decision he had come to a while now._

 _Able to step inside the small space fully he dove right into an apology,_

" _Babe, I'm sorry. Car accident pile up on the highway. I had to use my siren to get here. What did the doctor say?" He brushed her forehead with his lips._

" _Viral infection. He was dehydrated too." She breathed a sigh of relief as more tears spilled, she was just glad Rick was here, somehow he made her burdens lighter._

 _At the sound of Rick's voice Andre turned in his mother's arms and stretched his chubby little arms to his father, swiftly giving up the lease in Michonne's embrace for a bigger lot of comfort._

" _Hey buddy..." Rick looked the brown eyed baby boy in his dull eyes, he lacked the brightness that usually donned his angelic face._

 _He kissed his cheek and brought him against his body in a protective hug. "I'm here son. You're alright? Everythin' is gonna be fine. Daddy's here."_

 _Andre leaned on the firm wall of Rick's chest and closed his eyes for a few seconds, as though eternally grateful he got a reprieve from the torment he had endured all evening._

 _Then, when they thought he would finally fall asleep he held up his head and looked up at Rick, chestnut brown eyes met oceanic blue ones, carrying a language no one else was privy to. Andre gave Rick his first smile for the evening and as easily as it had started, his crying stopped._

 _Michonne swiped at the tears on her face, uncertain if she was crying or laughing but still confusing Rick who stood in the enclosed space rubbing a dozing Andre's back, giving her a perplexed look._

" _Michonne, what is it?"_

 _Her shoulders were shaking, she realized she was doing a mixture of both, laughing and crying, being grateful and amused simultaneously._

" _It was you," she shrugged._

 _Still confused, Rick touched her face, bringing her focus back to him._

" _Me?"_

" _Yes, you. He wanted you the whole time. He wanted his daddy." Only when Rick swooped in like the baby whisperer and Andre's cries quieted into nothingness she realized why her warm embrace and soothing tone didn't work on her son._

 _She wasn't the one he needed, it was Rick._

 _Rick was sincere in his love for Andre and didn't just help Michonne out with the easy stuff. He got up at night for feedings, diaper changes and stayed with Andre often times when he was fussy . He ensured she rest and it was a nod to the partnership they had when it came to both boys. There was an easy bond with Dre that couldn't be faked and she looked at her son, his eyes weren't quite closed yet with a smug look on his face as though he was subtly telling her, '_ look at me mommy, I hit the daddy jackpot.'

" _He wanted his dad all the time huh? Isn't that right Dre?" Rick laughed feeling fulfilled by the fact that Dre had stopped crying and already seemed in a better mood since his arrival._

 _Andre turned his head again from its comfortable resting spot when he heard his name, he touched Rick's four day stubble beard and a small word with big impact came out of his mouth, "Da-da." He smiled, a big, toothless smile. Almost like he knew he just stunted his parents, yet made them so proud._

" _Did he just…?" Michonne's hand flew to her mouth._

" _I think he did." Rick was bursting with pride, Andre had been mumbling incoherent sentences for quite some time but Rick didn't think his name would be the first syllable to break him into the speaking world._

 _Michonne folder her arms and feigned annoyance, "Of course he says Dada first!" Inside she was elated that Dre had identified Rick so verbally. She knew he understood who he was before, and he identified Rick with the fatherly role he played in his life but he hadn't uttered a word before today._

" _Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da." It was all a game now for Dre._

" _Would you look at that!" he said excitedly, joy sprinkled all over his face, producing the singular smile that reached his eyes that she loved so much._

" _Wait til Carl hears this." He wished Carl was here for this special family moment._

" _He doesn't even seem to be in pain anymore. You swoop in like Superman and save the day. He wanted you all along Rick. He missed you."_

 _Rick kissed the top of Andre's head and held Michonne's hand in his, still basking in the moment. Still amazed that someone he had no blood ties to had such a grip on his heart. He hoped Andre never planned on letting go._

 _He saw the lethargy on Michonne's face and needed to get both his wife and son home._

" _Hey, you stay here, Dre and I are gonna talk to the doctor. It's time to go home."_

" _Okay." She said, appreciative that he took the reigns, no questions asked. His ability to share the lead with her always made her role as mother and wife so balanced._

 _He came back in less than five minutes, Andre had dozed off now, a light snore emanating from his nostrils._

" _C'mon, let's go home," he said, hugging her by her shoulders as they walked out the examination floor. A few parents lingered with their kids, the nurses at the nurses station were hanging out rosters, probably for the following week. The smell of medicine and cleaning agents growing fainter as they got to the clear exit doors._

" _How are we doing this?" she asked as they walked to the carpark, the night wind had picked up and she reached over to ensure Andre was still bundled tight in Rick's hold._

" _Shane took my truck home. Andrea picked him up. So Daryl drove the sheriff's car here. So I can drive home with you." He knew he would be needed, so he had arranged accordingly._

" _Remind me to thank Daryl." Daryl lived across Brash, so she knew the drive would've been a long one for him but there wasn't anything that Rick didn't ask of Daryl that he hadn't delivered on._

" _He's headed over to Rosita's, he's helping her_ paint _her new apartment." He said stressing on the word paint knowing it would make Michonne curious._

" _Mmhmm, paint? I'm sure." She laughed knowing that something was possibly brewing between her two friends but they were yet to admit it._

" _Yeah. I had to promise not to needle him on the ride over." They had finally gotten to her Volvo in the densely populated carpark and he was buckling the baby into his car seat. Once the task was completed Michonne threw the keys to him and they both got in the car._

 _Backing out of the spot, Rick had his focus on the task at hand._

" _You hungry? Need me to make a stop?" He knew the possibility of them making dinner when they arrived home would be non existent._

" _That would be great." Michonne snuggled closer into her seat, comfortable enough to close her eyes with Rick at the wheel. He was one step ahead of her, she was starving but food had been the last thing on her mind. Rick was caring and considerate when it came to her and she smiled just like Andre had a while ago, she had hit the husband jackpot too._

" _Rick?"_

" _Yeah baby."_

" _I love you."_

" _I love you too Michonne." He took her slender wrist and kissed the back of it as he maneuvered onto the highway._

…

 _Dinner turned out to be tacos. After they ate, she helped Carl get ready for bed, intent on giving him some extra attention to somehow make up for her absence all evening. She and Carl had a bond and routine of their own and she honestly missed spending time with her little dude. She tucked Carl in, later than his usual bedtime so she knew getting the almost eight year old out of his bed the following morning was going to be a struggle. She planned to give him an extra five minutes anyhow._

 _She found Rick studying intently the still form of Andre in his crib, baby boy was now sleeping soundly, all traces of fever gone, all indications of discomfort erased. She snuck into the space between the bar of the crib and Rick's body and his head dipped to nuzzle her warm neck in reflex to her close proximity._

 _She sighed, thinking of the whole day and how drained she felt, yet contentment blanketed her in a warm, fuzzy feeling._

" _Not sure how I missed he was dehydrated but I'm just so relieved he's feeling better," she said, smoothing the baby's head._

" _It happens. Don't blame yourself. Carl had a lot of fevers when he was a baby. I'm glad he's okay too."_

 _He turned her in his arms, her hands weaving around him, locking behind his wavy curls. He smelled of deodorant and that singular Rick scent that she could pick out in a crowd full of people._

" _You're a wonderful mother you know that right?"_

 _She smiled, glad to be appreciated." Thank you. You're a wonderful dad too. This one obviously thinks that."_

 _They both looked down at Andre's adorable sleeping form, Rick bent and adjusted his blanket._

" _I want to adopt him Michonne, legally." His words were soft, but his sentence was strong. Andre may not be the son of his loins, but he was irrevocably the son of his heart._

" _You do?" It had never been a dilemma for her, Rick was Andre's father, no questions asked, no contemplation. He had taken her baby and loved him just as fiercely as he loved her. She knew not all men were capable of being that kind of surrogate, but Rick wasn't most men._

 _She was surprised by his request, didn't know it was something he had been pondering about._

" _I love him. He's my son." Rick's voice was laced with sincerity._

 _Her throat felt closed up with his admission, the conviction in his tone permeating the nursery and giving her a euphoric sensation that she had truly married her soul mate._

 _She reached up and touched his face, handsome even in the shade of a backyardigans night light. "And you're his dad. I think we would both like that."_

 _It was something Rick had been thinking about for a while but didn't know how to broach the topic with Michonne without sounding selfish. They would tell Andre about his biological father when he was old enough, but Rick wanted him and Carl to really be brothers, he wanted the world to know he was his son. He was grateful he would be the one to watch Andre grow, honored that he was selected to protect him and to teach him how to survive in the world. He didn't take the honor slightly._

" _Thank you." Michonne was crying now, too moved to move from his embrace._

 _A year ago she was alone and pregnant, timid about what the future was going to look like for her and her baby, but she was determined to do her best._

 _When fate stepped in and brought Rick into her life she didn't think they would be man and wife a year later, even on their first date she knew there was something different about him, something that separated him from the sea of men that came in with the tide._

 _He was the man she would spend the rest of her life loving, he was Andre's father, why question what was always meant to be?_

* * *

Michonne had been given the microphone by the host; one of Sasha's comedian friends from College who went by the name T-Dog, to give her maid of honor speech. Not having much time to write everything she wanted to say down on paper she decided to speak from her heart, hoping the right words would come. She had recently had a practical lesson on love, she hoped she could impart some of what she'd learnt to the sea of family and friends before her. She stepped out from behind the head table, the white table cloth glowing against the tiny decorative lights attached to it making the settings appear more intimate, giving her the courage to share the things that rested on her heart on such a momentous occasion.

She held Sasha and Abe's giddy gazes for a second, took a sip of water from Andrea's glass and faced the crowd.

"I'm sure mostly everyone here knows that I lost parts of my memory from a car accident a few months back. Which was bad enough because I'm someone who got deja vu a lot. So when things come up now that are fuzzy to me I make a joke and tell Rick I think I've forgotten this before."

Rosita laughed at her quip until tears were running down her cheeks. Even Rick found the amnesia joke hilarious.

"I had no recall on who Abe was, so I had the privilege of meeting this guy twice. Actually I had the privilege of doing a lot of things twice. Important things. Things that changed my life and changed my view on love." She stared at Rick thinking that not everyone got to fall in love with the same man twice, she was a lucky woman.

"The first thing I realized about Abe after a couple of meetings was that Abe will say things that will make you smile and wince at the same time. And he may be one of the most bull headed cops on the King County force but when it comes to my sister he's all heart and that's all that mattered to me. Plus anybody who can put my highly opinionated baby sister in check is okay in my books."

She winked at Sasha and Abe gave her a thumbs up.

"Family has taken on a new meaning for me over the past few months. I've had the joy of calling Sasha not just my baby sister but one of my best friends. Abe you're getting a gem here."

"Don't I know it." Abraham's burly voice boomed in the reception hall which was pristinely lined with sheer white draped fabric from the beams in the ceiling, lined with icicle lights, creating a beautiful setting as the evening dipped around them.

"Good! So it should be easy for you to say those three special words to her every day, _'You. Are. Right'."_

Sasha, Rosita, Maggie and Andrea began clapping, encouraging the other women at the other tables to join them.

When the boisterous behavior boiled down Michonne cleared her throat and continued, "On a more serious note and from someone who has become quite the expert on the importance of memories, I want you two to remember that being friends is essential to the health of your relationship and it's important to choose to love each other even in those moments when you don't like each other. Trust me, you'll have those moments..." She said with a laugh, amplified more when she heard Rick utter, "When?" at the other end of the table.

Ignoring his intentional interruption she picked up where she left off. "Being there for each other, being strong when one of you is weak is critical and because I'm married to the realest example of what true love is…what true love means... I know if you apply what I say to you today, your marriage won't fail. Sasha I'm so proud of the woman you've become and the wife I know you're going to be. If dad were here he'd have some poignant thing to say like 'let your love be stronger than your anger' or something like that but above all he'd want you to know how much he loves you and there's no way you're not gonna get your masters." She paused, missing her dad so much on a day like today, she saw Sasha wipe her eyes with a napkin too. "I love you both so much and I wish you two all the best in your marriage. Cheers!"

After Deanna said a few words and Abraham's already tipsy but absolutely hilarious father, Jacob welcomed Sasha to the family the mic was passed over to Rick for his long awaited best man speech.

"Normally, the best man is supposed to roast the groom, but I've decided I'm not going to talk about all the controversial, funny, somewhat embarrassing stuff Abe is widely known for. I'll just talk about all his good qualities instead."

There was an intentional pause. "Thank you and goodnight."

He let the laughter die down before he continued.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry Sash, she actually made me promise no jokes tonight. Sasha you're an amazing woman who deserves an amazing man so I promise I won't rest until I get to the bottom of what went wrong here."

The crowd was in an uproar. Abe stood up, hands on hips and surveyed the crowd with a comical stare.

When all eyes were on Rick again he continued, "I've been thinking alot about love lately, about it's high's and low's and how the strength of love sometimes lie in the faith you put in it. Even in the worst of conditions true love never fails, it's been proven, no one can convince me otherwise." He passed a hand over his barely there stubble, "I don't have all the fancy words, my wife is way better at these things than I am as you've heard before but Abe and Sasha...marriage is gonna test you. I'm absolutely sure of it, but you two are strong and I see how much you love each other so I guess my little piece of advice is to enjoy each other but in the tough times whatever you do, remember to stay in love." He looked at his wife, whose eyes had been fixated on him since he began to speak and smiled, "And whatever you promise to each other during your years together don't let anything or anyone get in the way of keeping that promise. It isn't even so much what you promise is the big part, it's the effort you place in the delivery of it. It's the impact of your actions that matter the most. That's what will separate you from everyone else and remind you why you chose each other." He lifted his champagne glasses full of bubbly and said, "To the bride and the groom!"

… **.**

The dance session of the reception was in full swing, while it wasn't the Oscar party it was the equivalent of what Sasha called a helluva good time. The grin on her sister's face as she grinded her rear into her husband's hips, her hands in the air was enough to determine the wedding was a success.

There was a no sitting policy for the dance part of the evening, so everybody got pulled into dancing to the latest hip-hop tunes, some dancehall and reggae and even the electric slide, which was a disaster in itself when you threw in the likes of Glenn, Shane and Rick into the mix. They took the teasing in jest for their rhythm deficit and enjoyed the camaraderie of their raggedy bunch.

With everyone still scattered on the dance floor the DJ took things all the way down with a Michael Bolton, golden classic, 'To Love Somebody' much to Michonne's delight and Sasha's disgust.

Rick was about to side swoop Daryl to get to Michonne but Shane beat him to it, stretching out his hand to Michonne in an invitation to be his dance partner.

Rick folded his arms, looking the part of the jealous boyfriend as he watched his wife deliberate between him and Shane.

Michonne laughed and took Shane's hand as everyone around them coupled off to the slow beat and smooth voice of one of the greatest.

"Sorry babe, he was here first."

Reluctantly accepting defeat, he said with a smug grin, "Just remember who's taking you home."

With Michonne off on a twirl with Shane, Rick turned and awkwardly bounced into Andrea who was the only one left without a partner. The was a stale air of awkwardness between the two, their already fragile relationship was collateral damage in the car accident that took some of his wife's memory away. They hadn't said more than two words to each other since, granted that the chance never presented itself, but the elephant in the room couldn't be ignored much longer. Not wanting things to be more awkward than it needed to be given how close their family were, Rick extended his palm to her, an olive branch of sorts maybe. He noticed the uncomfortableness on her face as she took his hand.

He saw what guilt did to Andrea, he didn't think he had any moral high ground to continue to resent her for all that happened. Her guilt was eating her alive, that was clear from her suicide attempt. He understood the toll it took on her too, not to mention the bravado it took to finally face her shortcomings. She had put herself to trial and found herself guilty for her crimes.

"You didn't have to you know," she said referring to the already unaccommodating dance they were engaged in. "I could have sat this one out." She didn't need a balcony view of the resentment Rick held for her since the accident.

"It's fine," he shrugged, taking the lead with their dance.

"The gentleman in you always stands out," she said as he drew her closer, closing in the wide gap that separated them. They moved to a slow step in silence for a few seconds, each trying to find the words to say the things that pain and anger kept on mute for far too long. Andrea didn't want to continue living like this with people she considered family, Rick and Shane were best friends, she and Michonne were like sisters. She wanted to do the right thing.

It would be remiss of Rick to not acknowledge how much Andrea had been through in the months leading up to the accident and after, even if he thought she was her own achilles heel. She wasn't unscathed by anything that happened, not by a longshot.

"I don't hate you." He finally spoke. He felt her let go a deep sigh in his hold, like she was relieved.

"Thank you for that."

"It's been tough for me...watching Michonne struggle through this ordeal when I think it could've been avoided. It's been hard seeing one of my best friends in so much pain from loving you. The night of the accident Michonne and I had a difference in opinion about you and Shane. She thought the divorce was a bad idea. I thought you two needed the time apart because you were being selfish." His own time apart from Michonne had been a hellish nightmare, maybe Michonne was right all along, maybe she wasn't.

"But things take on new meanings when tragedy strikes…" He left his sentence open, dangling between them like a fresh reminder of what each had been through.

"For what it's worth Rick, I am sorry. And I am trying to make amends for all the wrong I've done. Even the crimes against myself." Jim Hilton had paid the ultimate price, she couldn't go on running away from her life anymore. She wanted to be held responsible for her actions; right her wrongs and hopefully become a better version of herself in the process.

He didn't have to question her catharsis; he heard the stories, he saw her visceral pain, even her attempted suicide had affected him. Andrea became her own judge, jury and executioner but he heard what she was saying now.

When you hit rock bottom, the only place you could go is up.

"I know you are. We all need to heal from this. I think we can try to be friends or something resembling it at least." He was being honest with her and himself, he didn't want to hold a grudge but sometimes pain packs itself on a shelf and turns into anger. He wanted to release the one he was holding for Andrea.

Her mistakes weren't malicious.

He had gotten a second chance with his wife. His life was given a miraculous upgrade with the different kind of love they found plus he had a baby on the way. Giving someone a second chance felt like the right thing to do.

"I'm sorry about the miscarriage. I'm sorry you and Shane went through that kind of pain."

He saw her blue eyes fill up with tears, there was no expiration date on mourning a child. He said a silent thank you for the baby resting comfortably in his wife's tummy.

"Thank you...it means...it means alot." She blinked back tears, grateful that the people in her life saw beyond her bitterness and hurt and were willing to go the extra mile with her.

"You have friends who care about you. Michonne considers you a sister. My kids love you. Don't disappear on us."

"I'm working on that Rick. Thank you….I...needed this…" They continued to dance to the slow crooning.

Shane burst out a loud laugh from across the room, as he and Michonne continued to work the floor. Rick tilted his head to them, "He still loves you." His voice was a matter of fact.

"He does." She wasn't gloating, Shane loved her and it was a precious commodity for her now because she knew she didn't deserve it.

"He deserves the world, somehow he thinks you're it. Let that mean something."

"I'm working on it" It was the first real smile he had seen on Andrea in a long time.

… **.**

"She said she loves me. And it ain't just words. She does things too," Shane said to Michonne,

"That's a good thing right?" Michonne couldn't ignore the brightness on Shane's face when he spoke about her friend. When someone really loved you their lightness covered any darkness.

"I think so."

"Be patient. Sometimes the best things that happens to us are the ones worth waiting for. What's meant to be will always find a way Shane. Doesn't matter how long it takes, how far the people we love go or how bad it seems. Fate will always bring them back." She was speaking with authority, knowing what it felt like to be a fugitive arrested by fate.

"I hope so because I still can't see my life without her. Ain't that a kick?" Shane laughed and surprised her by spinning her and dipping her in Rick's direction, giving his friend a playful smirk as he brought her back up again.

"How hard do you think he'll punch me if we do that again?"

"Fate is kind but don't test her." Michonne laughed seeing Rick's face, knowing it wouldn't be long before he stalked over to where they were.

"You and I weren't...very close... before," Shane said in a timid tone. She had to take his word for it, she had no cognizance of the extent of their friendship before. "I like the way we are now." His words had a closure to it, like he was more than happy about the way things evolved between them.

They had time to have many heart to hearts over the past couple of weeks and a lovely friendship had re blossomed between her and Shane. It was another nod to her, so many good things had come out of her amnesia she really couldn't be angry about it any longer. The benefits she derived from her incapacities wouldn't let her.

"I like it too." She kissed Shane's cheek at the same time Rick patted him on his shoulder.

"Hit the road," Rick said and slipped Michonne into his greedy arms.

"She's all yours buddy."

"I know." Rick replied, only having eyes for Michonne.

"Hi." A silly grin spread across her face. It felt amazing being in love with Rick.

"Hi gorgeous," he said kissing her lips.

She knew it was her sister's wedding but was it wrong that she felt like the belle of the ball because of the stare of one man?

"I saw you and Andrea finally talked..." Her tone was hopeful and curious.

"It's a work in progress." It was all he disclosed. He was slowly comprehending forgiveness was for the offended as much as it was for the offender. She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder as he moved them to the beat of the song. Everyone around them fell away.

"You and the baby are okay?"

"We're more than okay."

Rick felt a tugging in his pants and looked down and spotted Andre looking adorable in an exact replica of Rick's tuxedo.

"Dad, can I get some more ice cream? My tummy doesn't hurt or nuthin'."

Rick looked to Michonne who was adamant about the boys eating sweets before bedtime. She looked away, leaving the father and son duo to negotiate on their own. After a few seconds of feigned hesitation Rick nodded, telling Dre he could have the ice cream.

"Yess! You're the best Dad!" Andre scampered off, eager to find his uncle Daryl to deliver on the ice cream promised.

"See, you're still the best even though you told him he can't get married yet." She laughed remembering the drama of the conundrum earlier. She saw Rick's face light up whenever he and Andre interacted and her heart swole.

A flash of Rick helping her through her labor with Dre caused her to tighten her hold on her husband. Rick delivering Andre on their living room floor wasn't a dream was it?

"Michonne, what is it?" He was alarmed by her grip on him.

"You brought Dre into the world." Her eyes danced with speculation.

"That would be you, I was just there to catch him," Rick said, thrilled that her memory was coming back to her, even if it was bits and pieces.

She wanted the fact to settle into her soul. How amazing was he?

"I love you. You're such an amazing man Rick. This baby is so lucky."

Rick brought her closer to him. He couldn't recall a time when he didn't bask in the right to hold her in his arms.

"I love you too. Always."

"Anybody ever tell you you're a threat in a tux?" She spoke low into his ear.

The air felt charged between them, with just the sound of her sexy voice he felt his pants tighten.

"A threat to what?" He pressed her core against his groin, under the farce that they were dancing closely. "This?" He wanted her to feel exactly what she was doing to him.

He heard her gasp at the contact.

"Let's go somewhere. Runaway for a few minutes. Everybody's watching the boys."

"Rick you know I want to but I promised Sasha I would be here to ensure everything is taken care of when the night is over."

He sighed. "You want me to clear the room? I have my badge and my gun."

She knew he wasn't joking a bit, but dammit she would be lying if she wasn't turned on. His thumb was circling the back of her hand as they moved together on the dance floor but she'd be lying if she didn't feel his phantom finger stroking her bud already.

"Let me just take care of everything here first okay."

He whispered low into her ear, "You take care of things here but afterwards I'm gonna take care of you."

It was time for her to announce the party was over.


	14. Unfinished

_**A/N: We've reached the end of this journey and I must say it's very bittersweet for me to bring this story to a close. I just wanna thank each and every one of you for your tremendous support with this one. All the likes, follows, PM's and reviews are greatly appreciated and will always be cherished.**_

 _ **To my twin Tigerwalk, thank you for your support on this story and for always being such a good sounding board. Maddy aka Winterscorpion, you know I think you have a heart of gold so thanks for always stepping in when I needed you. To the rest of my writing sisters who enrich my life on a daily I love y'all.**_

 _ **Hope you guys enjoy the conclusion. The epilogue is already posted.**_

 _ **Until next time...**_

 _ **Sophia**_

* * *

 _ **Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.**_

 _ **Lionel Hampton**_

 _ **...**_

Rick let out a sigh of relief as he descended to the bottom of the few short steps that gave way to the small but neat waiting room. He'd used the free space to go over his speech a few minutes ago. The Drug and Alcohol Abuse Prevention dinner, shortened to DAAP had commenced with his opening address welcoming all key stakeholders of King County to the event. They had secured a conference room at The King County Grand Hotel months before the programme had been finalized or a budget clearly defined because of it's simple grandeur. He straightened his black tie; the navy blue Alfani suit he wore had been picked out by his wife and his tie selected by his boys. There was a deeper sense of pride gliding over him as he meeted and greeted the invited guests.

"That was an amazing speech."

He heard Jessie's voice behind him. He remembered leaving her in the room when his name was called for the opening address but he assumed she returned to her seat once she ensured everything was running in smooth fashion.

"Hey. Thanks. I thought you'd be sitting down by now." He passed a hand through his neat curls. "You should you know...enjoy the fruits of your labor." To say Jessie had worked hard on the whole campaign would really be an understatement, she deserved to enjoy their success.

"Trust me I plan to. Lizze's a bit nervous, asked me to stay with her while she gives her testimony." Jessie shrugged, smiling sheepishly, "You know...moral support. Don't nobody know what that means better than me." She gave a light chuckle but he heard the weight behind her words, nodding in understanding.

Not wanting to take herself down memory lane she returned to her original thread. "Seriously though. A plus speech."

"Michonne helped. Actually she did most of it." He shook his head when he thought about his proficient wife. "Somehow she always knows what I wanna say and she found the best words to convey that." He shook his head in marvel, in appreciation for the woman he'd promised the rest of his life to. It was a wonder to him that despite the storm they'd weathered when her amnesia blew in, it appeared as though their connection was even more powerful, more potent than before. "She's good at that kinda thing." He couldn't downplay the grin that donned his face.

In a quiet gesture Jessie looked away when Rick said Michonne's name, almost blinded by the light that was shining through him.

If love had a face it would look like Rick's.

He was a man totally in love and his glow caused a white light to shine on her wrongly influenced conjecture about their friendship.

Shame crept over her skin. She cringed inside for assuming the fondness she felt for Rick was a two way street. In hindsight it was easy for her to imagine given how close they had worked over the past several months.

"She is. Congratulations on everything. We did it," she said.

"Yeah we did." He gave her arm a pat, like he was congratulating a child for winning a spelling Bee. It snatched her from the sea of dreams and planted her firmly next to the river of reality. She didn't need a neon sign to see whatever Rick felt for her was strictly platonic. She wasn't sure why she thought differently for so long. "I thought…," her words dropped off, not sure she was making or going to make any sense.

"What is it?" he egged on.

"I guess I'm gonna miss working with you."

"We had some good times. You did some amazing stuff on this trail."

She tucked her hair behind her ear as she blushed, "Thank you…Rick?"

"Yeah…"

"You know when Michonne got into the accident and she lost her memory I saw what that did to you. How badly it affected you..." She remembered at one point all he wanted to do was work. They spent a few late evenings working tirelessly to bring everything to fruition. They weren't alone most times but they were always in sync with their ideas and strategies which certainly aided in streamlining the whole project so efficiently. She assumed it was a special connection. On one side while he was buried in guilt and pain she saw their friendship rise a bit or so she thought.

"It was rough. Throwing myself into this helped sometimes."

She let loose a dry laugh, understanding exactly what he meant. "Yeah I get it," she laughed again, nervous about where the conversation was taking her mind. She was wondering if she should share what she was thinking now that everything was pretty much coming to a close. "I guess I thought…"

"Thought what?" he asked, unsure as to where the vague shift in their conversation was headed to or what Jessie was trying to say or imply. He was trying to remain objective but he wondered if Shane's needling had been accurate all along. He began seeing things in a different light; the rose blush in her cheeks, her tendency for laying her hand on his arm, her agreeableness to most things he said. The fact she was a blushing school girl in front of him right now. Did Jessie really have a crush on him? Did he blind himself to it all?

She barely kept eye contact with him now as she paused in her flow.

Jessie didn't know what she was going to say. What was she supposed to say? That she thought he'd confided in her? She chided herself for thinking he'd fall into her arms or at least seek refuge in them while his amnesiac wife moved out on him. Was that the kind of woman she wanted to be? She didn't want that to be the total sum of who she was, not after all she had been through with Pete.

She wasn't the kind of woman that wanted things that didn't belong to her. Rick didn't belong to her and he never would. Yes, they had a good friendship but invisible boundaries were always in place. No lines had ever been crossed because that was just the kind of man Rick Grimes was. He respected her and coming from a table where respect wasn't even on the menu it was refreshing as it was attractive. She had been hurt for so long when help finally came it looked like a prospect.

She could see why a big part of her was taken up by the camouflage of it all; she saw things, simple things in Rick that she'd never seen in the one man who vowed to love her forever in the ten years they were married.

She gave into it, which made her project her misguided affection onto a brick wall.

It was what Rick represented; his devotion to being a good husband and a good father, something her ex lacked greatly.

Rick helped her escape Pete, rather he gave her a rope to climb out of the mess and it made her feel special. She thought he did it _for_ her but he didn't. He would've done that for anyone because helping people was innate to his character.

"If you didn't help me that night I wouldn't be here right now."

"Yeah you would," he nodded his head, hoping his conviction would grab hold of her too. When he and Daryl responded to the domestic disturbance call from Jessie's neighbor that night she had been in a bad state. Yet despite of it he saw a determination in her eyes that rose to the surface among the debilitating circumstances she found herself in. It only took a few calls to help set her on her feet. He would have done the same for anybody.

"I guess this is my roundabout way of saying thanks."

"You don't have to thank me. Jessie, you're not the fragile helpless woman you were almost a year ago. You've taken back control of your life." He gestured to their surroundings and all that they had accomplished with the implementation of the Drug abuse Programme in King County. "This is just the start."

"I think I needed to hear that. Thank you."

"Listen, Andrea is starting on a project that I think you'd be a great asset to. Think about it and maybe give her a call?" He was giving her options for more fulfillment but he knew she too had the potential to help people.

"I'll think about it. Thanks."

"I'm goin back out there. Michonne is probably wondering where I am."

"Enjoy the rest of the evening."

"You too."

"Rick…." She called back,

He turned to her again.

"Michonne...Michonne is a lucky woman."

He swiped a thumb over his brow, he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm the lucky one."

… **...**

Michonne lingered by the red door waiting to surprise Rick after his perfect execution of the speech they'd work on for half the night. She had no intention on eavesdropping on the conversation between him and Jessie, but when the blonde woman began to speak curiosity got the best of her. The night she decided to go to her mother's for a few days for convalescence and clarification and the heart breaking disagreement that followed flitted through her mind. Jessie had shown up unannounced at her door that night. Giving the impression that she and Rick had a cozy relationship that left Michonne questioning while Rick hadn't even flinched by her sudden appearance.

So as she strained her ears towards the door to listen to what Jessie had to say, more than Rick, she was prepared to neutralize the threat. Only there was no threat to neutralize. In some roundabout kind of way she knew that all along.

She'd processed for herself that Jessie had some type of feelings for her husband. She was at rest knowing that there was never a need to doubt anything. Rick had shared Jessie's story with her, again. Reminding her how he'd helped connect her with the right people like Carol, to help see the light at the end of a dark tunnel. They were simple tools that equipped her with courage to start the process of making a life for herself and her two boys. She left her bad marriage behind for a better taste of life, which she could imagine was scary as it was rejuvenating.

Her husband was someone who went the extra mile for others and he saw what Jessie needed and stepped in to help her when nobody else did. Rick was a real one. In a way she understood why Jessie would've latched onto that. Michonne didn't have any fear now, she trusted Rick. She discovered that her heart had been in defiance of her amnesia from the get go. Overriding any uncertainty, showing her in several ways she was too confused and too angry to decipher that she could trust him.

It was beautiful because in the midst of the chaos in her mind came clarity in her heart. It was what helped her to fall in love with him again. Now there was no climbing out for her.

"Michonne? Michonne Grimes?" A well dressed middle aged couple walked over to her. They were strangers to her having never seen them before but she didn't know if she should attribute the unknown to her memory loss.

"Yes I am. You are...?" she asked standing straighter, looking around to see if anyone else had followed them. The bathroom was close to the area they were now in. Maybe they had missed a turn.

"Edna and Hugh Hilton. We're Jim Hilton's parents," the lady with honey colored eyes said, her voice softening when she mentioned her deceased son's name.

Jim Hilton, the one who started it all. Her heart dipped, still not recalling anything from that night but still certain that the memory remained hidden in the caverns of her mind somewhere. She knew one thing, Jim died that night and two people were still suffering through his loss. She never met his parents despite the few visits to his grave. She and Andrea had gone a few times to visit and leave fresh flowers for Jim as a way of honoring his death despite the senseless actions for it. They were alive and they were grateful for the small mercies they were allotted considering the state of Michonne's car that night. No one should've survived. Even her baby had lived through the wreckage; if that wasn't a miracle God wasn't real.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she managed to say politely, despite meeting the parents of the man who's drunk driving could've killed her. Some things had died that night for her and Andrea; her memory and Andrea's self worth. No one was left unscathed.

The lady whose name was Edna, eyes filled up with tears as she recalled her son.

"It's been six months already. We miss him so much. Every day has been hard you know but your husband has helped us so much." Hank spoke up when he saw his wife was too choked up to continue. He clutched her by her shoulders as he gave his attention to Michonne.

The mention of Rick's name was unexpected as it was puzzling. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at them both, "Rick? I'm afraid I'm not following. How did my husband help you?" She assumed that when Rick got the call that night he had rushed to her bedside in concern and care for her life. He said so on their few reconciliations of the night in question. There was no point in him investigating the accident, especially when the perpetrator was dead. The accident was a close and shut case because Jim was driving under the influence, too drunk to be in control of himself or a vehicle that night.

Edna's face softened again, "Your husband provided us with grief counseling. Jim was helping us out at home. Hugh had been laid off from the factory a few months prior and Jim's paycheck was helping us get by while my Hugh looked for a new job. But when Jim died we were crumbling. Rick provided us with groceries now and then."

"He helped me find a new job! I'm working now. Got me a job as a driver for a fancy bakery downtown. Your husband...he's a good man." Hugh's round face was full of gratitude.

Her heart dipped and soared. Again. Hearing what she already knew caused a smile on her face. Rick was selfless to a fault and she could see why he was elected sheriff of this place uncontested. He lead with his heart, even when it was hurting.

"Yes. Yes he is." She didn't want to cry but when she thought she couldn't love her man anymore something else happened that made her heart make more room for him.

"So he invited us to this dinner. This is a good thing he and his people are doing. I wish it was available when Jim was alive. He was going through a rough patch you know..." Hugh shook his head in remorse. "He was only twenty nine when he died."

Michonne heard when his voice broke she could imagine on a night like this that their son's death would be a fresh grief for them.

"I'm sorry," was all she could've said. She too was moved by their praises of Rick and the palpable sadness that was still being felt because of the many things that crumbled that fateful night.

"It would've been remiss of us to not come here to tell him thanks."

"Mr and Mrs. Hilton? You made it." The man of the hour joined them and he was so striking in his appearance she forgot she was waiting outside the room in the lighted hallway to surprise him.

Edna hugged him, a big hug that was filled with thanks and appreciation. The genuinity of it all touched her.

"The Hiltons came to say thanks for all that you did for them." Michonne touched his broad shoulder and smiled up at him.

"It's nothin'." Rick dropped his gaze to the floor, not wanting praise for something anyone would've done.

"It was something son. We appreciate it. Not a lot if people would've done what you did. Not after what our son did to your family. So thank you Rick. For helping me find a job and for being one of the good guys." Hugh took his hand in a grip.

"You're welcome." Rick shook Hugh's hand vigorously.

"We're going back to our seats. You two enjoy the evening. All the best to you both. Congratulations on that baby. How far along are you?"

Rick pulled Michonne to his chest as he said proudly, "Six months."

Edna did a quick calculation in her head, her mouth formed in a round O. "Does that mean you were pregnant the night of the accident!" There was amazement in her tone.

"Yeah I was," Michonne said with a smile.

"Amazing! I guess some things are meant to be." Edna squeezed Michonne's hand in departure. The couple walked off in an embrace of their own. Michonne was kinda glad they had each other. Love in itself was a healing balm uncontested by any medicine ever invented. Rick proved that.

"Grief counseling? Groceries? Were you ever going to tell me?" He probably would've kept it to himself because he wasn't propelled by praise. The knowledge made her smile. He shook his head, slid his hand around her expanding waistline and began to walk down the corridor. "It was nothin' really."

"What made you do it?"

"It was easy. They lost their son but I still had you." She leaned into him needing to be close. He still considered her his even when she thought they had nothing if she couldn't remember who he was to her. He truly loved her more than her memories.

* * *

She would bore a hole in the tiled floor soon if she didn't pull herself together and stop fussing over something that wasn't supposed to be so complicated in the first place. She inhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting it go on a slow exhale hoping that a unique idea would full the space in her head that seemed too vacant for her right now.

"C'mon Michonne...think!" she said into the cool air.

Her lack of any ingenuity felt deserved as she procrastinated until the very last minute to decide on a final showcase piece for her class pottery exhibition tomorrow. She wanted to create something unique to Rick, something that stood out but still echoed a strong sentiment of how much her creative journey started because he signed her up for the class in the first place. He knew what she needed before she even needed it. She promised that she would dedicate a piece to him, the one she chose to showcase to mark the end of a journey and the beginning of another. Morgan mentioned that a short snippet about why the piece was chosen would be a fitting way to end the course that had not only helped her memory but helped her navigate through an extremely uncertain time in her life.

She just didn't think it would've been this hard. She had all her fresh pieces ready to start the centering process if only her mind would center and give her an idea.

She surveyed her old work on the tall shelf: ceramic buttons, a leaf, soap dishes a spoon rest, a lopsided mug, a too short vase, nothing stood out to her.

 _Your piece doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be your perfect choice._

She recalled Morgan's words to her a few weeks ago when she expressed her tired crusade to find the ideal model of her work. A direct expression of how far she'd come and why she selected to dedicate it to her husband.

An almost complete coil pot caught her eye on the bottom shelf, she remembered putting it there after spending hours on constructing it but failed at the precision required to make it a finished pot. She had dried it then fired it as is because she didn't have the heart to discard it. She started on the piece at Wildfire two weeks after she and Rick shared their special dance in the kitchen when she left him in middle of the kitchen looking tortured. At the time she was feeling like a fraction in front of him but still his hypnotic blue eyes held no judgement, just pain.

She wanted to at least produce something wholesome at the time to somehow makeup for her deficiencies but she'd failed. Now it rested on the last shelf like a rejected toy that didn't make the cut for Santa's deliveries. She wondered if there was anyway to revamp the old thing or if she should just attempt a new one. She knew within herself there wasn't sufficient time.

 _Sometimes discarded craft could become a masterpiece one day._ She wondered at the thing sitting there looking back at her with its intricate pattern and thought if completed it would've been a great selection.

She shook her head in consideration, in a way the pot was like her, _unfinished_ but Rick loved her just the way she was, memory loss and all.

Maybe it didn't need to be finished to be great.

She grabbed it off the shelf. Her fingers touched the deep gray coils layered on on top the other which made her think of the confusion in her mind when she came out of the hospital. How her mangled thoughts piled one on top the other until she felt like her mind was an avalanche.

Rick was there every step of the way for the reintroduction into their home, he clarified any questions she had, he showed her things over and over again. He never once grew tired of her. Not even when she felt like throwing in the towel was easier than struggling through the maze of her memory or the matrix of their marriage.

He'd proven time and time again he loved her the way she was. It reminded her that like her still fragmented memory, finished pieces didn't always happen.

She was striving for perfection, in search of the masterpiece that never quite came. Perhaps the masterpiece was in the moments she connected and re-connected with Rick. The masterpiece was when Carl and Andre embraced her tightly in Hershel's kitchen the morning after she was discharged from the hospital. The masterpiece was her and Andrea reconciling at Jim Hilton's gravesite. _Her_ masterpiece was realizing Rick loved her in spite of her memory loss, maybe even because of it. _Her_ masterpiece was Rick's unfailing, unwavering love that eventually brought her back to him.

She should know this better than anyone, she was looking for perfection in her piece but her monument was a bit of a mess. In the end the outcome was pieces of layered clay, but her process was the best part of the journey. She made it through the fire unbroken like her unfinished coil pot.

The detailing on the rounded bottom of the pot reminded her how important paying attention to the small things were. Like sticky notes on a bathroom wall that really showed her how thoughtful her husband was. She had never attempted artistic designs on anything before but pottery helped her to take risks even when was afraid of failing. She remembered when she moved back home to give what she and Rick had a chance, she never regretted the decision. Patience was important too, there was always the off chance that she didn't get the shape on the first try and she'd have to try it again and again. Similar to the patience Rick had with her, it couldn't have been easy trying to love someone who had no recollection of how much you meant to them. Her discovery was that her imperfection _was_ her refining. There was beauty in the unfinished coil pot similar to how she felt about her life now.

She wasn't perfect, neither was her memory, neither were ceramics, neither was life. Just like the clay she loved so much, life had a way of cracking in front of you, collapsing in the middle of a journey, breaking and stretching you. That's what amnesia did to her.

Similar to the delicate nature of the clay, Rick was there all along with a gentle touch, a comforting word and the kind of love she would never be able to measure. She and the coil pot were one and the same; incomplete but yet whole.

A smile dawned on her, she grabbed her box of acrylic paint to add some colour to the pot.

Excitement drummed under her skin, she had found her piece.

… **.**

Morgan wanted the showcase of his students' work to be more than a display so he helped to construct portable shelving to the back of the class. He brought along some pedestals and table risers for the more classical pieces. The sixteen students he taught and mentored over the past few months had exceeded his expectations with their dedication to the craft that changed his life. While some had come to his class because they had a love of the art form and wanted to learn about the craft, others had come wanting to learn about themselves. Some more so than others. He thoroughly enjoyed the successes and even the failures of this particular group under his tutelage. They understood how critical it was to connect with the clay; in turn they were able to connect with themselves and the people around them. He cherished the cycle because everything gets a return. He knew that better than anyone.

Tonight was a big night for all. Not only was it officially their last day of class but it was the night when every class member got to present their showcase piece in front of their invited friends and family. The shelves and tables were lined with pretty varying shades of deep blue, dark green, grays and yellow pieces of plates, porcelain mugs, bowls, vases. Some had done beautiful abstract work that were already on display. The evening was halfway through. Some were nervous about standing in front of the class and speaking publicly on why their showcase piece was selected; a requirement for the last day of class.

Morgan thought it was important for everyone to understand that they weren't just learning about clay, they were learning about life too. The techniques required for the process was similar if not precise to the requirements of life too. Including the life in crisis.

Kevin Sombert had just finished his speech dedicating his piece - a plant pot, to his sister for sticking by him through his divorce. Michonne was next and he could tell by the timid look on her face she was probably a bit nervous too.

She grabbed her dark green coil pot off the table and in a neat stride she took her place to the front of the class.

"So I've been deliberating day and night on what I should choose for my showcase piece. It's been hard for me trying to find that perfect piece. but before I go there I just wanna say how much this class has meant to me." She adjusted her locs over her shoulder as her words gathered in formation. "It helped me with my amnesia more than I ever expected. You guys have helped too, some of you by just being here or by just giving me a smile when I was too frustrated to try again." She cast a glance over at Morgan who was at the side, leaning on the wall. "Thank you for always pushing me to try harder." Morgan nodded, always recognizing her potential in spite of her procrastination.

"But I wouldn't be standing here without the support of my husband. It hasn't been an easy road for us. But he never gave up.." She paused as her eyes began to pool despite her resolve not to cry. Rick straightened in the chair he was sitting in.

"He never gave up on me. Ahd he has inspired me to not just try but to try harder. That's why I dedicate this piece to you Rick. It's pretty much me in clay from. It's been bent and thrown but somehow came out unbroken. But it's far from perfect, because clay isn't perfect and neither are we. So we're really lucky if we get people to love our imperfect forms."

Rick walked towards her in a slow gait. The eyes of everyone in the room on them but to him nobody else existed. He was so proud of the woman standing in front of him he could burst.

She gave him the leaning, incomplete but intricately designed coil pot, "It's unfinished, kinda like me."

"I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful."

She was smiling wide and Rick couldn't take his blue eyes off her.

"Thank you." She wanted to say _for everything_ but she knew he understood the tone of her gratitude.

"I love you Michonne."

She smiled because when he leaned into kiss her the whole class was clapping.

… **..**

"She looks more full of life than when she walked in here all those months ago." Morgan handed him a beer, coming to stand next to him at the back of the auditorium. Michonne was mingling with her friends, saying goodbye and making promises to keep in touch seeing that they wouldn't be seeing each other twice a week anymore. Rick was content to wait and watch his wife do her thing.

"She is." He took a swig of the beer Morgan gave him, pushing a hand in the pocket of his jeans. He wasn't sure what to make of Morgan approaching him in solo mode but he didn't have any reason to stand caution with the man who had a hand to play with helping Michonne.

"I go through this often you know...saying goodbye. It's always a bittersweet day for me."

"They've come a long way because of you."

"Nah, they did it. I just provided the know how." Pottery was a craft to be learned for those interested but the two sided mirror it had on their lives was hard to escape for some. His hope was that they would advance in the craft as much as they would advance in their own personal journeys.

"I know Michonne is glad she took your class." He was too, he wasn't sure how fast their progress would've been had it not been for the pottery lessons.

Michonne laughed with a tall woman named Diane, who Rick had learnt had lost her daughter in a car accident. Everybody had a story. Some were worse than others. Pottery had been an escape but also a good way to heal after they all had been shattered in some form.

"Michonne was my best student." Morgan sighed on the end of his sentence and his sombre facial expression made Rick curious.

"You know in the earlies I thought I would have to punch you in the face." It was when Michonne used to consider Morgan her only friend and he was jealous of a man who saw her twice a week for two hours. He was grasping at straws at the time, trying to not be irrational about the fondness in her voice when she spoke about her instructor. It was easy to see now how fond everyone was of Morgan and how highly they all spoke of his guidance in their speeches.

Both their faces grew serious as their somewhat generic conversation reached a deeper level.

"You're uh...you're not kidding are you?" Morgan didn't see a crack in Rick's stance but he was no fool, the man standing beside him maybe a lot of things but insecure wasn't one of them."

"You wanna know what she said to me the first day of class?" the zen teacher asked.

"What?"

"She said she didn't think she would've been here if it wasn't for you."

"I signed her up." It was his desperate attempt at reaching the almost stranger he found his wife to be. He always thought it was a selfish act on his part but it worked out for all parties involved.

"You did more than that Rick."

Rick shrugged with a twist of his head, "I never planned on amnesia… we didn't. I just wanted her to find something to hold onto while everything she knew was slipping away from her."

"You did. I saw something in her that reminded me of my Jenny." Morgan's eyes were soft as Rick heard him mention his wife's name. He'd been briefed on Morgan's story by Michonne before. He knew how much he had lost and a few months ago he could've been like Morgan thinking he had lost plenty too.

Now that he and Michonne were stronger than ever he was happy to give a final report that even though amnesia had stripped her of their memories and put a dent in their relationship not everything was gone.

"I'm sorry."

"It's been a long time. Michonne has tenacity like my Jenny." He heard the swift change in Morgan's voice and was eternally grateful that he didn't lose his wife in that horrible car accident. He couldn't fault Morgan for seeing Michonne's strength, it was what brought her through the tragedy of the accident.

"I'm just glad her memory is returning." He was grateful for even the snippets. Not because they were dependant on it but because he knew they amount of joy he received when he recalled her.

"I'm happy for you both. I can see why you two were made for each other."

"I did what I'd promised to do on our wedding day. Stand next to her in the darkness and love her when she was unsure." He said his vows with conviction, they'd been proven and tested. Even when she forgot who she was he remained strong enough to remind her. He never questioned so much if he had to stick by her while she reconciled her new self to her old self. The question for him was finding ways to show her he loved her in spite of their lost years. They had found a way and it was a promise they had made a long time ago.

"That couldn't have been easy," Morgan said.

"It wasn't, but she'd do the same for me."

"You two talking about me?" Michonne asked, finally approaching the odd duo.

Rick extended his arm out to her and she stepped inside his embrace like she'd done it a thousand times.

"Everything isn't about you babe." Rick teased, kissing her on her lips.

"I love your piece Michonne. Your speech was perfect," Morgan proffered.

"Thank you. For everything." She touched Morgan's hand.

"You ready?" She looked up at Rick, ready to grab their babies and head home.

"Let's go home."

* * *

"Not too much okay," she said to Carl, observing him from her peripheral as she cracked four eggs into a bowl. It was still too early to be awake in their house on a Saturday morning but the baby was moving about too much for her to find a comfortable spot to sleep. Not wanting to wake Rick she slipped out of bed deciding to get an early start on a lavish breakfast for her boys. Only one of her boys had beaten her to it, she discovered Carl in the kitchen getting all the fixings together for pancakes. Together they were a dynamic duo and had everything set up in no time for a smooth running of a pancake making session.

"Mom? Can I ask you something?" Carl asked, flipping a small cake over with the blue handled spatula.

"You can ask me anything." She opened the fridge to retrieve some strawberries.

"Is the baby gonna have his own room?"

"You're so sure this baby is a boy huh?"

"Yeah it's a boy."

"Yes the baby will have his own room." Carl and Andre were extremely excited about the prospect of a sibling. They were now heavily engaged in the big brother wars. Who was gonna be the better big brother was a serious competition taking place.

"Do you remember everything now mom?"

Carl was always intuitive so she had to be very careful with how she responded.

"Not entirely. Things are coming back in pieces."

"Like what?"

"Like before the accident you were playing video games on a school night and your dad grounded you."

"Seriously mom? That's what you remember!?" he said incredulously, making her laugh.

She helped him stack the pancakes he'd crafted on a plate. Then she poured the eggs in the pan while he plated the bacon.

"Do you ever wonder why you forgot us?" Carl's tone was nonchalant as though he was asking her the time. She wished she had the right response but she didn't. The truth was she had no clue why she forgot them but what she knew was she got to love them all again and she was sure the second time around she discovered a plethora of new things to cherish.

"I do. All the time."

"I don't think it matters what's in your head. I think it's what's in your heart that matters the most." Carl folded his arms, leaning on the counter as he spoke. His stance caught her off guard because he looked like a miniature version of Rick. The wisdom of his words indicated to her that he was very much on his way to becoming a man. She turned off the stove and hugged her son who didn't come from her body but was certainly a part of who she was.

"You're absolutely right baby."

"What's going on here? Pancakes without us?" Rick padded barefoot down the stairs in his dark blue pajama bottoms and a sleepy Andre on his back.

"We were trying to surprise you." She kissed him on his lips then did the same to Dre. Rick's bed head was inviting, making her want to forget pancakes for a more intimate kind of breakfast.

Her thirsty stare betrayed her because he said, "Down girl." A big, fat smirk on his face.

He would always be the quench to her thirst. She relished in the fact that all he had to do was look at her and he'd know what she was thinking.

As the family assembled around the table for breakfast Michonne felt a kick in her stomach. "Whoa!" she said, resting a soothing hand on her big, round belly.

"Babe?"

She took Rick's hand and placed it on the spot where she just felt their baby. When Rick felt the jab he grinned.

"I guess she likes pancakes too," he laughed.

"It's a boy Dad," Andre said shoving bacon in his mouth, now fully awake.

"They decided apparently." Michonne filled Rick in.

The three of them slipped into a silly debate on the baby's gender and she was content to listen to their reasoning. Her family felt intact, whole and she was looking forward to the new baby joining their team. She had a lot to look forward to and missing memories wasn't going to be a stumbling block for her, not when she had new memories to make with the beautiful people around this special table.

"Hey the pancakes are getting cold! Let's eat!"

The house phone rang just as they were about to dive into their meal.

"Hey Glenn what's up?" Rick answered, "you're kidding! We'll meet you there." He hung up the phone with a smile. "Maggie's in labor!"

Carl and Andre raced out of their chairs and ran upstairs to change their clothes.

"You stay here, I'll get your jacket," Rick said a bit of panic in his tone.

If he was this antsy for his sister she could only imagine what their baby's birth would be like.

She sat down at the table again, listening to the commotion upstairs as he got the boys ready. She sipped some orange juice and rubbed her belly.

"I hope you're ready for this family sweetie. I promise they're not always this crazy."

"Michonne! I can't find Dre's sneakers!" Rick was calling from the top of the stairs.

She laughed, but loved that she was needed. She hoped Maggie's baby was in no rush, because this could take a while.

"Okay so they aren't perfect but they're perfect for us." She smiled as she ascended the stairs to take care of her boys.


	15. Epilogue: The Best Promise

_**Time moves in one direction, memory in another.**_

 _ **William Gibson**_

 ** _..._**

"Yeah baby!" Michonne shouted from the sparsely populated bleachers. In after thought she glanced over at Sydney who was cocooned in her baby seat ensuring she didn't wake her baby girl with her excitement. Carl and Andre looked up at her from their positions at the bottom of the court, wanting to be close to the action. They shared in their mother's excitement as they observed Rick kick some butt on the court. Rick turned his head in their direction when he heard Michonne's voice, giving her and the boys a thumbs up in that dorky dad way he had. He was still delicious to her in his grey joggers and white V-neck, dribbling the ball looking like the professional ball players he enjoyed watching on TV.

The guys from the Sheriff's Department came together often now for an intense basketball match. She decided to come watch her man play, making it a family affair.

She checked the time on her phone that was in the baby bag next to her when she noticed her newly engaged friend Rosita approaching the bleachers with a brand new hair do.

"I didn't know you were coming!" Michonne said patting the vacant spot beside her. "Daryl's bike is in the shop so I had to pick him up." Rosita sat next to her, stealing a glimpse of the peaceful, sleeping baby in her carrier. "Who's winning?"

"Aren't you a good wife to be?" Michonne nudged her, "We are!"

Rosita and Daryl had only been engaged for three months but Michonne was looking forward to the culture clash of a wedding between the two.

"I thought this game would've been over by now?" Maggie sauntered in wearing khaki shorts and a purple tank top with her flip flops. Her one year old son, Jordan squirming in her arms.

Maggie threw an eye on the brightly lit court; her brother, Shane, Abe and Daryl and honorary member Glenn were playing against the boys from the Fire Department. The firemen demanded a rematch after the sheriff and his men had provided the heat on the court winning their last game, leaving the fire department out in the cold.

"Hey Mags! What? You live here now?" Michonne asked, knowing Maggie came to the Rec Center at least three times a week.

"Jordan loves his aqua aerobics class!"

"Come by your auntie Chonne Jordan! Before your crazy mama enrolls you in baby boxing and baby karate next." She took her sweet nephew in her arms, admiring how his eyes were a mirror image of his daddy's. It reminded her of Sydney and how half of her looked like Rick too. She smiled thinking that although she didn't look like the typical nine months old baby girl she was quite perfect in her parent's eyes.

"Abe! Quit playing like a girl and show Scooter what you're made of!" Sasha shouted, returning to the seating area with a tray of hotdogs and sodas.

"What the hell!?" Maggie was startled by Sasha's usual big mouth.

"How do you do that?" Rosita asked.

"Do what?"

"Make Abe listen to you like that?"

They all observed Abraham steal the ball from Scooter, dribbling to the left and taking a clean shot at the hoop, scoring two more points for his team. The guys celebrated with high fives and chest bumps while their supporters cheered and applauded. Their loud voices echoed off the yellow walls in the auditorium.

"What can I say? Classical conditioning," she shrugged.

The girls laughed at Sasha and Abe's unique communication techniques.

"Carl! Dre! Come get something to eat!" Michonne called to the boys who were all too eager for their hotdogs.

"We're just one blonde short of the Fussy Posse." Sasha enjoyed when all her girls were together, now that the kids had arrived and her sister had returned to her job, meetings spontaneous or planned were in short supply. The difference this time was they still kept in contact with each other, ensuring to keep abreast with whatever was going on.

"Maybe we should call her? I had no idea we'd all be here," Maggie mentioned.

"Speak of the devil," Sasha said as Andrea pushed through the double door entrance to the courts.

"Hey you!" Michonne was happy to see her best friend. Andrea smiled and waved, climbing up the bleachers to join them.

"Hey what are you guys doing here?"

"You came to watch Shane play?" Rosita scooted around making room for her.

"Yeah. Thought I'd show my support." Andrea and Shane were giving another go at their relationship. They were no longer in a handle with care state. Andrea had used the money from the severance she received from her modelling contract as a down payment for a house. A much needed do-over for her and Shane. It proved to be the right move for them.

"Sydney's sleeping?"

"Yeah, she started walking this week and her poor body is tired from ruining the living room." Michonne adjusted the blanket that covered her baby, seeing so much of Rick on her sweet face.

"So one more week and we're going to the Bahamas!" Sasha couldn't wait for their girls trip. They were leaving the men behind this time, anticipating some much needed R and R.

"I can-not wait!" Michonne clapped. "Four days of no scheduled bedtime. No food in plastic containers. No fruit with every meal? Hell yes!"

"Ooohh! girl you're gonna be a loose cannon next weekend aren't ya!" Sasha chimed in.

"I'm looking forward to cool nights in the jacuzzi with my girls while we sip on Sauvignon Blanc." They were all buzzing with excitement, but as much as Michonne was looking forward to their mini getaway she knew she was going to miss her family.

She and Rick were inseparable now, in sync even when they weren't together. Things had changed for them now that she had returned full time to her job. Even though her bosses divided her caseload among her peers they were kind enough to keep her position vacant in the rising law firm. She was both happy and scared to return, especially after Sydney was born. She had become accustomed to being with her kids and the switch from being accessible to them all day to having to schedule quality time was a big adjustment for her, Carl, Dre and even Sydney. Carl and Andre were amazing big brothers. Sydney Giselle Grimes was born on the 30th September on a rainy afternoon, changing their lives for the better from the moment she arrived. Her brothers were often in competition with each other over who could take care of her best, who could make her smile first or who could feed her right.

It was a sight to see so much joy dwelling in her family. The accident that robbed her of snippets of her memories were a thing of the past now. Something that she tried not to dwell on which was easy considering she hadn't remembered the night in question. It was just an event in her past that never regained any recall in her brain. She had lost pieces of her first few years with Rick, her brain only produced fragments of their romance. It was something she desperately wanted to resurface in spite of the many amazing, funny stories she heard of their courtship.

From what she learnt there was usually a catalyst for amnesia before the trauma took impact. She was always curious to know what in particular her brain was trying to protect her from. It was something she didn't have an answer for nor was it something she wanted to ponder on for longer than necessary. Her life had changed that night and given what came out of the tragedy she had to say she was more blessed than most.

She'd learnt that love didn't require her to be perfect for Rick, she just had to be willing to try. She was glad she decided to let go of her desperate desire for all their moments that had fallen to the cutting floor of her brain. She thought it was necessary to fill in the gaps to their story but it wasn't. Together they found a way to make what they had work. Just like they'd promise on their wedding day. She watched the DVD of that special day so many times, even though she couldn't remember saying her vows to Rick she memorized them knowing she lived them daily.

 _I promise to stand by your side when the world is walking away._

 _I promise to always have faith in us._

 _I promise to love you til I'm gray and old and I promise to never doubt the depth of your love._

She got a chance to make new memories with the people she loved. While she didn't want to put total trust in her brain she started making picture collages of their moments, things that may not be significant to others but were special to her. Most important she knew where her family filled the biggest space and it wasn't in her brain, it was in her heart.

Memories weren't set in stone, they change over time. They evolve and she didn't want to cling to perceptions or imaginations. Not when she had real life pieces to dote on, to love on and to be loved by. Memories couldn't love her back. Memories don't live like people do.

At her side, Sydney began to fuss, she refocused her attention from her musings to her cute baby daughter.

"Hey munchkin!" She eased her out her carrier, holding her securely in her arms.

"Oh! She's awake. Lemme grab her real quick before the other aunties get to her!" Andrea was quick on the draw, taking Sydney from her friend's arms, drawing her close to her chest so she could inhale her sweet baby scent.

"I can't get over how beautiful these eyes of hers are," Andrea said while a waking Sydney played with her blonde tresses. Michonne looked at the unique pair, Andrea too had come a long way. When Sydney was born she couldn't bring herself to hold her. Michonne could imagine the pain of Andrea's miscarriage resurfacing when Sydney was born.

Like her, Andrea was a trooper, overcoming her fears and pain, now she and Sydney were sweet on each other.

Healing came in so many different forms for them.

"I don't think I'll ever be over Sydney having one blue eye and one brown one either! She is too gorgeous for this world," Sasha commented sipping on some water.

Her daughter was born with Heterochromia Iridis a condition that caused the iris of both of Sydney's eyes to bear two different colors. In her case she had one blue and one dark brown iris. She had been thoroughly checked out by her pediatrician and a highly recommended ophthalmologist who found nothing wrong with the strong willed baby girl. Rick thought it was miraculous that she was born with two different color eyes, in a way she had the eyes of both her parents and it was something that always made him smile.

Sydney of course was a daddy's girl through and through. She loved Rick and despite having only half of his eye resemblance she definitely had his full smile. Michonne thought she was perfect despite her scientific imperfection.

Pottery withstanding, she was definitely the best piece she ever made.

"You look good kid," Rosita teased, thinking it was always nice to see this softer side of Andrea.

"You think I'll be lucky enough to have a second chance at this?" Andrea's question was rhetorical and spoken so softly Michonne barely heard it. Her friend almost seemed like a different person, she never returned to her modelling gig. Instead she helped invest in a small foundation called Saving Grace, a place for troubled teenagers and abused women seeking help. She did some formal training and was able to man the suicide hotline at Saving Grace, knowing how to reach those who thought dying was the only answer. She knew that kind of pain better than most, so she was effective in her field. Jessie was also on board with the foundation too, investing her time with women who wanted help standing on their own two feet but not knowing how. It was how she met Tobin, a paramedic who brought in an ill woman who needed their help. He and Jessie had been dating for two months time permitted Michonne and the rest of the girls gave of their time to Saving Grace, helping those in need with a meal or a listening ear. Giving back gave them all renewed purpose. Rick was proud of her efforts and encouraged his guys to help out in any way they could. For them that meant financially, the girls were too eager to put their money to good use. Life was shifting, changing as quickly as the seasons ebbed into each other.

One thing remained constant, love; the thing they all needed to get by. Her life had been shaken because of the accident that occurred over a year ago. She was confused when her amnesia struck but Rick had been her own saving grace. Just like in her mother's kitchen that Wednesday afternoon after watching a silly show about a blue fish Rick gave her one more day with a chance by being her rock.

So to answer Andrea's whispered question she said "Yes." It's never too late for a second chance.

… **.**

"They're probably going home to cry to their wives about how we dragged their asses on the court. Again!" Shane was bragging while Andrea passed him a cold water from the small cooler they'd brought along.

"It was a good game." Rick said fresh from the locker room shower.

"Can I have my kid now Abe?" Rick demanded, his arms already feeling empty from being away from Sydney for so long.

"I think it's time Sasha and I make a few gingers." Abe handed over the baby to her father. She latched onto Rick's stubble quickly with her chubby fingers, staring up at the man who put her to sleep most nights like if he was the sun.

"A few? Boy you better be joking!" his wife countered, setting her hands on her hips.

Everybody had lingered on the bleachers for a bit catching up, not quite ready to leave the camaraderie that so easily flowed among them.

"Dad can we go over to the farm tomorrow? Grandpa is gonna need our help." Carl was ready to beg on behalf of him and his brother. Rick stole a glance to his beautiful wife who was a bit quiet in the background. She nodded, showing him she was present and a part of the conversation. He gave his two thriving, cheerful sons a nod and they went over to break the good news to their uncle Glenn and cousin Jordan.

Rick fell back while the rest of their family chatted loudly.

"You good baby?"

She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, catching Sydney's fleeting attention for a few seconds. "I'm good. Was just doing some thinking."

"Bout what?"

"About time and how quickly a year has flown by." She passed a sweeping hand in front of her, gesturing to the group to which they belonged. Marriages, babies, engagements all had taken place in that time. It was good to see how much the good had outweighed all the bad that had gone before.

"Carl will be a teenager soon," he teased knowing how attached he was to her son. Michonne groaned, covering her eyes. "Don't even…"

"Hey, we're doing okay aren't we?" He kissed her full lips.

"We're doing better than okay." She kissed him back, ready to ditch the group for some Rick time.

"Thank you for letting me do this with you," she said, feeling the tug of emotion at her throat when she thought about where they'd been after the accident to where they were now. There was no place she would rather be than with Rick. She would fight right beside him in a war if she had to.

Sydney was rambling in Rick's arms in her own baby language, making Rick laugh as she giggled loudly at her daddy.

"Umm everyone…I'd like to say something as we're all here…" Andrea was next to Shane on the far end of the bench but spoke loud enough to get their attention. Even Shane had turned his body to face her.

"I've been thinking about the day Shane and I signed divorce papers. A year ago to be exact. And every bad thing that followed it. It was easy to hide how much I was hurting by celebrating our failures." She stole a quick glance at Michonne and smiled. Somehow she knew Michonne was aware that whatever she was about to say wasn't bad. She had given up her flare for the dramatics for the wrong things a while ago. "After the accident I felt like a ghost. Shane somehow still saw me. And I was so blind before I couldn't see him as clearly as he saw me. But time has a way of changing things. Helping you to see what you couldn't before."

Michonne slipped her hand in Rick's, leaning on his shoulder. She was content to know that she and Andrea were still on the same page and her friend wasn't going to let her second chance slip away.

"Do you know what's happening here?" Rick asked softly in her ear.

"Not a clue."

"She pregnant?" he proffered, causing Michonne to stifle her laugh.

"If you know you should tell me."

This earned him a raised eyebrow from Michonne.

"I guess what I'm saying is as much as I'm grateful for Shane giving me a second chance. I don't wanna waste the time we've been granted." She got down on one knee in front of Shane, catching everyone by complete surprise.

"So umm...Shane will you marry me? Again?"

The widest smile stretched across Shane's face. He passed a hand over his cheek, in shock that the woman he loved was being so brave. Joyful that she was letting everyone know how she felt about him. When she fished his old wedding band out of her pocket, placing it in her palm waiting for him to reclaim it he laughed.

"Yeah. Yeah I would." He took the ring and slid it into his wedding finger, took Andrea by her hands and kissed her senseless. Their friends were cheering for them, capping and whistling their congratulations. They were all happy to see despite the few hurdles they had to jump through, Shane and Andrea found their way back to each other.

Michonne leaned into Rick fully now, a sense of completion filling her soul. Not that she was complete or perfect but witnessing Andrea's own progress was compelling for her. It all felt so deserved.

Perfection came in many forms, for her it was being loved in spite of her amnesia, for Andrea it was finding her way back to herself before she could love Shane the right way. Everything was as it was supposed to be.

"Sydney missed all the action." Rick pulled her out of her reverie, showing her their sleeping daughter.

"That means when she gets up at three she's all yours."

"Done."

"You're so good at this dad thing." He was an incredible father, she couldn't imagine doing it all without him. "I love you Rick."

"I love you too Michonne."

"Let's grab the boys and go home okay."

"Okay." She loved her family but she always preferred when it was just the five of them. The fact Sydney had held on through that horrible car wreck always increased her gratitude that she didn't lose everything that night.

Rick reminded her many times that on the night of the accident he had promised they made a baby together. His promise held true which is why she chose the middle name Giselle for their girl, because that's exactly what it meant, Promise.

It was easy to see that she was the best promise they ever made.

 **End**


End file.
